u/True-Shallot-6295

Looking for a Bengali guy at Bangalore, for something serious.

Why only Bengali? Because I've spoken to many guys from other communities, and after days/weeks of talking, it ends with "Mummy won't agree" or "I'm not sure about marrying outside my community."

I don't have the mental bandwidth for that anymore, so I'm being clear from the start.

I'm not in a hurry to get married. Honestly, marriage scares me😅. But I do want to find my person. I believe the best relationships start with friendship.

I'm very independent, but with the right person, I want to be able to switch my brain off, go to a buffering mode, be my childish self, and let you take the lead sometimes. I'm a shorty so you can use my head for your arm rest(well that's what my friends do, and I'm not even tired anymore🫩). I love my personal space, but I also want someone with whom sharing life feels natural.

Despite being Bengali, I'm actually more fluent in English and Hindi, so most people don't even realize I'm Bengali at first. 😄

I have a single mom, and she's super chill. Down the line, I'd love for my partner to become a son to her, not just a son-in-law. But that's for later.

Also, if you're here only for hookups, casual fun, or sex, please don't DM. Let's not waste each other's time.

If you're looking for a genuine connection and this resonates with you, send me a DM. Maybe we can annoy each other forever. :)

Same as above. Got 5-6calls since last 2 weeks, even though I mention it's 60days or 90 but negotiable ans can buy out - they want immediate joiners.

I am in such a position if I don't leave my current team, i will surely go mad hence actively trying. But the calls are not getting converted to interviews. Please advice!

I'm 28F, Bangalore. I've been single for quite a while now. I've had some genuinely bad experiences in the past, so I stayed out of the dating pool. I don't even have a huge social circle, and honestly, I'm pretty content with my life, enjoy my own company, and most of the time I'm perfectly happy. Sometimes I do feel lonely, but not enough to settle for the wrong person.

Recently, I started talking to two men through Reddit. Both of them approached me.

GUY 1-

He told me he was 28. Initially, the conversation was going well until he revealed that he isn't over his ex, who left him and blocked him everywhere. He admitted that he still tries to contact her and that he's tried dating other people but can't commit. I told him that I'm not looking for marriage or a relationship right now. I'd rather start as friends and, if things click naturally, let it grow into something long-term. He seemed annoyed by that.

The next day, he again brought up his ex. I politely said I wasn't interested in discussing her, after which he suddenly told me he was only looking for someone to hang out with, watch movies, make out occasionally, etc., but not a relationship or marriage. That irritated me because it felt like he kept changing his story.

I also suggested moving the conversation to WhatsApp at some point, but he wasn't interested. However, he had no problem asking me to go on a long drive with him at 1 AM despite us never having met.

Something also felt off about his age. He didn't look 28, so I did a little stalking and found out he's actually 33 and divorced. I was shocked. The lying and catfishing bothered me.

Instant block.

GUY 2-

He's 26, an IITian, has a good job, seems nerdy, and from what he told me, has only had one short relationship.

Unlike the first guy, he was very clear that he's looking for marriage and has been looking for a serious match since he was 23(been to multiple dates/match settings, haven't found a match yet and he wants to settle down asap). I told him clearly that I'm not looking for marriage right now and would rather be friends first.

The problem was that he barely initiated conversation. Most of the time I was asking questions. Replies would come after 2–3 hours. No humor, no curiosity, no effort to keep a conversation going. Still, he asked me to meet this Sunday, and I've caught a cold/fever recently, so politely denied and asked to postpone.

For context, I lived in the UK for two years. While chatting, I mentioned that Bangalore's weather is somewhat similar to UK. I also said that because I have sinus issues and a dust allergy, I get frequent colds here. In the UK the weather was similar, but since the AQI was much better, I rarely got sick there. His response?

"Okay, now you're flexing AQI." And then he blocked me.

I was genuinely confused. AQI is not my father's property. I wasn't bragging about anything. I was literally talking about allergies and why I get frequent colds.

At this point I'm wondering:

Are people this strange nowadays? Or am I somehow missing something here?

Women who are dating in their late 20s and actually finding emotionally available, reasonably normal men, where are you finding them?

Edit: seems like this post really hurt the fragile egos of few men. The amount of downvotes, plus DMs i have received until now is crazy. 🙂

EDIT 2 - I am not looking to date. Please stop misinterpreting. And I have friends. People are just assuming I am a loner looking for a shoulder, what?

TL;DR: 28F raised by a single mom. Mom has recently become very superstitious and trusts neighbors/YouTube over me despite my education. I love her, but visiting home triggers me badly and I say horrible things in anger. I’ve also tried convincing her to live with me but she refuses. Need advice on controlling my reactions and dealing with her mindset.

Ladies, I seriously need your help -

I’m 28F. I lost my father when I was 4, and my mom(47) raised me alone with support from my uncle (her brother). My mom is not very educated, and I’m the first person in my family to complete BTech and later do my MS from the UK. I now work and earn well.

My mom and I live separately because of work. I stay in another metro city, while she stays in our hometown. I’ve asked her MANY times to come stay with me because it would reduce expenses and honestly I worry about her being alone, but she refuses every time. Earlier she used to run a small saree/clothing business, but now it barely earns anything. Still, she won’t leave home and says it’s because of the business.

The issue is that over the last 3–4 years, after I moved away for studies/work, she has become extremely superstitious because of neighboring aunties and random YouTube videos. Earlier she was never like this. Now everything is about not sleeping facing north, extinguishing diyas in certain directions, doing specific pujas, listening to babas, and blindly believing YouTube advice.

What frustrates me the most is that she trusts random people and videos more than me. If I properly research something and explain it calmly, she ignores it. But if some random person confidently says nonsense, she believes it instantly. I know this sounds arrogant, but it genuinely hurts because I’ve worked SO hard academically and professionally, and it feels like my words have zero value to her.

I try hard to stay calm when I visit home. Most of the time I stay quiet because I know arguments will start otherwise. But eventually I burst, and when I do, my mouth becomes horrible. I start saying dramatic things like “if I’m lying, may God punish me,” “I’ll lose my job if I’m wrong,” or “I’ll get some deadly disease and die if I’m lying.” I don’t even mean these things. It’s like I become emotionally overloaded and just say nonsense to force her to believe me. Afterwards I feel terrible, guilty, and scared.

The strange thing is that outside home I actually have very good anger control. At work or with friends I’m calm and composed. But whenever I come home, I become extremely reactive and emotionally exhausted.

I think somewhere deep down I feel hurt that she doesn’t trust my judgment, she refuses to come stay with me, and I feel like I’m slowly losing her to all this superstition. I’ve even emotionally begged and thrown tantrums asking her to come stay with me, but she still refuses. I think maybe because since childhood I’ve always managed everything independently, she assumes I’ll continue managing anyway and doesn’t realize how much this affects me emotionally.

I don’t want to disrespect her or become a bad daughter. I also know I cannot completely change her personality at this age.

I just want help with two things:

How do I control my mouth during these moments and stop escalating emotionally? And is there any healthy way to slowly reduce someone’s growing superstitious mindset without constantly fighting with them?

Would genuinely appreciate advice from people who have dealt with emotionally triggering family dynamics.

TL;DR: 28F raised by a single mom. Mom has recently become very superstitious and trusts neighbors/YouTube over me despite my education. I love her, but visiting home triggers me badly and I say horrible things in anger. I’ve also tried convincing her to live with me but she refuses. Need advice on controlling my reactions and dealing with her mindset.

Hi all, I seriously need help -

I’m 28F. I lost my father when I was 4, and my mom(47) raised me alone with support from my uncle (her brother). My mom is not very educated, and I’m the first person in my family to complete BTech and later do my MS from the UK. I now work and earn well.

My mom and I live separately because of work. I stay in another metro city, while she stays in our hometown. I’ve asked her MANY times to come stay with me because it would reduce expenses and honestly I worry about her being alone, but she refuses every time. Earlier she used to run a small saree/clothing business, but now it barely earns anything. Still, she won’t leave home and says it’s because of the business.

The issue is that over the last 3–4 years, after I moved away for studies/work, she has become extremely superstitious because of neighboring aunties and random YouTube videos. Earlier she was never like this. Now everything is about not sleeping facing north, extinguishing diyas in certain directions, doing specific pujas, listening to babas, and blindly believing YouTube advice.

What frustrates me the most is that she trusts random people and videos more than me. If I properly research something and explain it calmly, she ignores it. But if some random person confidently says nonsense, she believes it instantly. I know this sounds arrogant, but it genuinely hurts because I’ve worked SO hard academically and professionally, and it feels like my words have zero value to her.

I try hard to stay calm when I visit home. Most of the time I stay quiet because I know arguments will start otherwise. But eventually I burst, and when I do, my mouth becomes horrible. I start saying dramatic things like “if I’m lying, may God punish me,” “I’ll lose my job if I’m wrong,” or “I’ll get some deadly disease and die if I’m lying.” I don’t even mean these things. It’s like I become emotionally overloaded and just say nonsense to force her to believe me. Afterwards I feel terrible, guilty, and scared.

The strange thing is that outside home I actually have very good anger control. At work or with friends I’m calm and composed. But whenever I come home, I become extremely reactive and emotionally exhausted.

I think somewhere deep down I feel hurt that she doesn’t trust my judgment, she refuses to come stay with me, and I feel like I’m slowly losing her to all this superstition. I’ve even emotionally begged and thrown tantrums asking her to come stay with me, but she still refuses. I think maybe because since childhood I’ve always managed everything independently, she assumes I’ll continue managing anyway and doesn’t realize how much this affects me emotionally.

I don’t want to disrespect her or become a bad daughter. I also know I cannot completely change her personality at this age.

I just want help with two things:

How do I control my mouth during these moments and stop escalating emotionally? And is there any healthy way to slowly reduce someone’s growing superstitious mindset without constantly fighting with them?

Would genuinely appreciate advice from people who have dealt with emotionally triggering family dynamics.