u/UnderstandingFit4532

I’m a teenage girl and I’m 185 cm tall (6’1), and I don’t like it. It has always held me back from feeling feminine, needless to say I’m taller than almost every girl I meet, I’ve probably only met 2 who were taller than me. I’m also taller than most guys. I always feel awkward because of the way I’m sticking out above everyone. I’m often told that being tall is great, and I agree, but I think I’m way too tall, I wish I was around 180 cm (5’11). Thats my mom’s height, while my dad is around 6’2, which tells you from where I’ve inherited it. I’ve always been awkward about this, since a kid, and I’ve never found being this tall a good thing

As a teenager, all my classmates and people my age in general are obsessed with it, I can call it a trend, and I don’t understand the hype. I am not trying to be different, I really don’t get it. I understand that it’s supposed to make you feel good, but I can’t get past that awful taste. I’ve tried beer and vodka, I could barely withstand one sip due to how awful it tasted, let alone drink multiple cans/glasses like I’ve seen many do, I cannot understand how they manage to. And the hangover you get after, I don’t see what’s so worth it. When I mention I don’t drink, I get stared at as if I’m crazy too

A relative of mine had a birthday anniversary and she wanted to take a photo. When I saw myself on it, I wanted to break down. I looked bad, giving how much time I spend getting ready. The rest of it I spent quiet and upset, I just couldn’t enjoy myself because my face in that picture kept flashing in my head. When we left the restaurant, my mother screamed at me how I ruined everything for myself and everyone. She is right, but she has no idea how insanely self-conscious I am. I cried the whole night. I know it sounds ridiculous to be this upset over a picture, but it’s not about the picture, it’s the fact how insecure I am and it doesn’t let me enjoy anything in life. I hate celebrations, I hate the way I look

I’ve tried new clothes, hairstyles, makeup, nothing helps. All clothes look unappealing on me, no hairstyle suits me, makeup look as if a kid drew with a crayon on my face. When I try to improve my appearance, I look like someone trying too hard to be pretty, it’s almost laughable. And when I take it all off, then I look like someone who should put more effort into being pretty. I cannot take pictures of me because of this, or when I need to have a picture of me taken/be present in one, I want to cry my eyes out. Everyone else is so effortlessly good-looking and it weighs me with endless jealousy and guilt. How do I even go out when I know for sure people are staring at me because of my appearance and judging me, and probably telling about me to other people and laughing. I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t feel worthy of even existing