u/Unfilteredmind96

If you once loved and felt deeply attracted to someone, how can you continue seeing her in group settings but no longer want to spend time with her alone?
Do those feelings completely disappear, or do you consciously suppress them until she becomes only a friend? I genuinely want to understand how that emotional shift happens.

Tonight, I don’t need advice or someone to fix anything. I just need a long, comforting hug the kind that quietly says, You don’t have to be strong right now.
I’m usually the funny and energetic person, but sometimes that person gets tired too. I’m using this anonymous space because no one here knows me, and it feels easier to admit that tonight I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.
I just want to feel safe, cared for, and enough even if only for a moment.

For months, I kept wondering what was wrong with me.
He told me that he had feelings for me, found me attractive, and loved my personality. We were emotionally and physically close, and I felt understood by him in a way I rarely feel with anyone. Still, my mind kept asking the same question: if he feels all of this, why can’t he choose me?
There was never an official relationship between us, and I understand that. He never promised me a future, so I never felt I had the right to question his decisions. But feelings don’t always respect the rules of an undefined relationship.
He was also talking to another girl. One day, she suddenly came to visit him.The strange part was that I had been in same place the day before, and the very next day, I saw her there. The week she stayed was honestly traumatizing for me, but I remained silent because technically, he wasn’t mine.
After she left, he came back to me. The day he told me, “I love you,” he also said that we couldn’t be together because of our age difference and other factors. When I asked about her, he said his feelings for me were the reason he couldn’t continue with her.
I knew he wasn’t promising me a relationship, but hearing that still gave my Pisces heart ....
Six months passed, and we remained close. Then one morning, completely unexpectedly, he told me that he wanted to marry that same girl. I didn’t argue or ask him why. Because we never had a relationship status, I felt like I had no right to be hurt. I simply wished him the best and acted happy for him.
I don’t think he is a bad person. Maybe he was confused. Maybe he genuinely cared for both of us in different ways. We are still on good terms, and I truly wish him happiness.
But this entire experience broke something inside me.
It left me with the painful feeling that people enjoy being with me, love my nature, feel emotionally close to me, and even say they love me—but they still don’t choose me. I started questioning my appearance, my personality, and my worth, wondering what I had that was good enough to be loved temporarily but never enough to be chosen.
I am doing well in life. I am growing, achieving things, and becoming stronger. But when it comes to love, I feel like the unluckiest person alive.
Maybe he once loved me, but he is no longer in love with me—and I have finally accepted that. Still, if this is what love feels like—being held close enough to hope but never close enough to be chosen—then I hope love never finds me again.
My Pisces heart can forgive him for choosing a different life. But I don’t know how to forgive the experience that taught me I could be loved and still be left feeling completely unworthy of love.

I recently started talking to a guy on a dating app. I’ve been using the app for about a month, and honestly, it has given me more stress than hope.
For the first time, I met someone from the same religion, so I thought there might be a real possibility of something long-term. He was handsome, respectful, well-mannered, attentive, and genuinely interested in knowing me. He accepted my personality without judging me and had almost every quality someone could want.
But after talking a few times, I realized I simply wasn’t attracted to him. When I told him I wasn’t interested, he asked me to give him six months and not completely close the possibility of us being together. I felt terrible because he hadn’t done anything wrong—but I also couldn’t lie to him or force feelings that weren’t there.
I’m demisexual, so physical attraction usually comes only after I feel deeply emotionally connected and in love. When I love someone, I love them completely. I can be incredibly affectionate, passionate, and emotionally and physically present because my feelings are real.
But without that connection, I cannot pretend. I can’t perform attraction just to make someone happy. I would probably sit there feeling cold and disconnected, and I wouldn’t be comfortable having sex. That wouldn’t be fair to either of us.
This made me delete the dating app because maybe I’m simply not emotionally ready. But then how do you know when you are ready? Do you keep meeting people and wait for a connection to grow, or step away until dating no longer feels stressful? And for other demisexual people—how do you date without feeling pressured to become physically intimate before genuine attraction develops?

I feel guilty every time it happens and keep thinking I’ll lose all my progress. What do you do during those weeks—rest, walk, or still push yourself to work out? How do you deal with the mental side of it?

I can move on with life, work, gym, studies… but emotionally, my brain likes to replay conversations from six months ago. Is this a Pisces thing or just a me thing?

I 'm not posting this because I want sympathy. I’m posting because I want perspective.
Lately I’ve been so exhausted by my own thoughts that sometimes I catch myself thinking, “I wish I could just disappear for a while.” Not because I actually want to die, but because I want my mind to be quiet.
The ironic part is that I always thought I’d be okay on my own. I’m independent. I work, pay my bills, go to the gym, study, and from the outside my life looks fine.
Yet here I am, anonymously writing on Reddit because it’s one of the few places where I can say exactly what I’m thinking without worrying about people who know me.
I do have people I consider safe, but sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers because there’s no history, no expectations, and no fear of being judged differently tomorrow.
I’m not looking for validation. I’m genuinely open to criticism if it’s honest and respectful. Criticism doesn’t define me—it might even help me see something I’m missing.
Has anyone else ever reached a point where your biggest battle wasn’t your life, but your own thoughts?

I’m 30, and interestingly, I’ve never really been in a relationship. The person I’m talking about wasn’t officially my partner, but he was the first person I genuinely fell for
That’s what makes this so confusing.
People always say, “If someone doesn’t choose you, move on.” It sounds simple until you’re the one living it.
I’m not angry at him. He has every right to choose the life he wants, his friends, and the boundaries he’s comfortable with.
The person I’m frustrated with is myself.
I keep breaking the boundaries I set for myself. I tell myself I won’t call, then I find a reason to call. I tell myself I won’t ask to meet, then I look for an excuse. Not because I’m trying to manipulate him—I just genuinely miss him.
I’m not sitting around waiting for life. I keep myself busy, take care of myself, and keep moving forward. It’s just my heart that feels stuck.
I’m trying to build a career and become someone I’m proud of.
But emotionally, I feel stuck.
Sometimes I wonder why I keep chasing people who aren’t choosing me. Why does my heart hold on when my mind already knows the answer?
I don’t think I’m asking how to make him love me anymore. I think I’m asking how to stop abandoning myself every time I love someone.
Has anyone else gone through this? Not a breakup, but loving someone deeply without ever really getting the relationship—and then realizing the hardest person to forgive is yourself?