u/UnfortunateSyzygy

My husband's cousin used to raise guinea hens and I got totally spoiled on how AWESOME guinea hen eggs are (the yolk to white ratio should be illegal, they're amazing) and I have literally never seen them for sale anywhere. His cousin is now grown up and graduated college and got a lucrative corporate job with just, zero regard for my guinea egg jones.

It's a long shot, but does anyone have any leads on guinea hen eggs? I'd be willing to pay more than is entirely reasonable for eggs.

My 2 yo LOVES the Doggyland Affirmations song...but he's not buying Snoop's take on regular kids songs. He gets *DOWN* dancing to Affirmations, though! Are there other hip hop tonies with original songs? I am tragically un-hip and completely ignorant of regular hip hop artists a 2 yo would enjoy.

(with the notable exception of the Roots, who have some *BOPS* on Yo Gabba Gabba...though they kind of defy genre, so IDK if you'd even call the Roots hip hop?)

Ive had my ileostomy for about 6 weeks now and I think I have eaten more peanut butter in this time frame than in the past 30 years-- we have a toddler so there was already a high amount of peanut butter consumption in our house and peanut butter was listed as an output thickener, now Im eating peanut butter on rice cakes as my primary snack. When it's not peanut butter, it's hummus, which I had never even tried before. Also never really cared for bananas, but now I'm eating 2-3 a day. Anybody else have pretty drastic dietary changes/preferences after their ostomy?

Is anyone using the Eversense implant CGM? I just read about it and it sounds amazing... which often translates to "too good to be true".

My libre is driving me up the wall with signal losses and I recently lost a ton of weight too quickly (I have chrons and this has been a Sick Girl Summer) so I have a hard time finding enough fat on my arms to apply a traditional CGM properly. Like when I changed it last, a bunch of my sad-ass loose skin got caught in between the outer and inner bit of the applicator and the whole thing was just hanging there on my arm. Friggin looney toons over here.

But anyway, Eversense experiences? Is it stupid expensive? Does it work? Will it allow Bill Gates to track me? Any information or experience is appreciated :)

So im about 2 weeks into ileostomy #2. Had one for 2 months when I was 25 between total colectomy/Jpouch creation and reattachment. That time was ROUGH. Very hard on my mental health, ended up with a blockage bc of scar tissue, yadda yadda, but reattachment was successful and I was in remission for 12 years. TWELVE!!!

So I'm 40 now and the last 3 years have been a living nightmare. I haven't been able to work since March of this year bc gastro stuff kept hospitaling me. I started getting these weird internal abscesses that required drains to be inserted through my butt muscles to clear out, but as soon as one drained, another appeared on the other side. Turns out, I have Chrons now and a "complex system of fistulas" was causing the constant infections.

So, I get the ostomy to give my lower half a break to heal. I've had MANY abdominal surgeries and a couple of disorders that cause scar tissue, so it was a difficult surgery. My surgeon said something like "I kept feeling really lucky pulling up the new loop...and I don't like feeling lucky in surgery. I like knowing what's going on." And this dude is at Baptist in Winston Salem, which while it isn't Johns Hopkins (they did my first surgery), it's well regarded and highly ranked in our region. He is not very optimistic about the ability to reattach, bc he says it's just a MASS of scar tissue glomming everything together in there...

HOWEVER, he wouldn't be doing the surgery for that anyway. There's another surgeon at Baptist -- y'know what, imma name check her bc maybe it could be helpful to yall--Dr Jean Ashburn-- who is an expert in jacked up jpouches. She is "more aggressive " as my previous surgeon put it, so he said maybe she'd have a plan for reattaching me that would work.

Im supposed to meet with her sometime in September. And no matter what, I'm keeping that (so far speculative) appointment bc I want to know all my options...but am I crazy to think I might just want to keep the bag for a few years even if it is possible to be reattached? This stoma was hard to make bc of the damage from previous surgeries and my surgeon said he wanted to be kind of conservative so he wouldn't inadvertently limit my future surgical options.

But despite the annoying ass diet, despite the rigamarole I've been going through getting the right supplies/leaking (ostomy nurse helped A LOT with that)...I haven't felt this good in months, maybe years. I'm still weak, fatigued, and underweight, but I swear I think I slept through a whole night with having to get up 3-7 times to poop like I have for the past 3 years. Even in remission, I never got a full uninterrupted night's sleep because I had to go to the bathroom. I don't constantly worry about shitting myself. I feel just...better bc I don't have an active infection/I'm not on antibiotics. And my mental health is much, much , much better than when I was younger bc I'm on better meds that weren't available back then (intranasal esketamine, bc someone would rightfully ask)

So, my initial question and apologies for this long ass post: even if Dr Ashburn has a good plan to reattach me/revamp my jpouch... would I be crazy to just keep the bag for a few years and see how I feel?

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My GF is allergic to my cat, who we will call Iggy, bc she is a cat and wouldnt care if she gets doxxed. GF is a really good sport about the allergy bc she knows Iggy is my baby -- found her in the woods all alone at 4/5 weeks!-and also Iggy largely ignores GF. Just kind of more aloof than with me/my husband (polycule, don't let it distract you)

I say "largey" ignores GF bc Iggy loses her entire kitty cat mind for GF when GF is pregnant. Like we only have 1 kid my cat was present for the pregnancy, so further studies might be required. Iggy went from "yeah, ok, this lady lives here too. She's ok, I guess" to I MUST VELCRO MYSELF TO THIS HUMAN ANYTIME I SENSE HER AND WILL OTHERWISE SLEEP ON HER PILLOW WHEN SHE'S GONE DURING THE DAY!

And it sounds woo, but I KNOW Iggy knew GF was pregnant pretty immediately,like before a pee stick test could tell. Iggs is, again, pretty aloof when it comes to GF, but it was like a flip switched one day and Iggy started sitting on GF every evening and making biscuits on her, guarding her from the recliner...leg rest? Is that what they're called?

Admittedly, I grew up in extremely rural Appalachia, where people tend to take signs from nature pretty seriously.I tend to take that stuff with a grain of salt, but here's my cat attempting to graft herself onto my GF and Im like "dude, you're probably pregnant. Cats know stuff like that. Like those hospice cats that know when someone is going to die." both she and my husband thought I was being ridiculous, but when GF tested 2 weeks later, she was indeed pregnant and Iggy had called it on like, day 3 after conception.

She spent 9 mos guarding my poor, allergic GF and then stopped hanging with her all the time pretty much immediately after she gave birth. I don't know how Iggy knew-- hormones? some smell humans can't smell?-- but she tried her level best to make sure GF came out of the pregnancy unscathed.

Ive been unable to work bc of Chrons complications since March of this year and just got a possibility temporary ostomy about 2 weeks ago. The plan is to let my Jpouch (misdiagnosed 20ish years ago with UC) rest and heal for at least 3 months and then see if the Jpouch is salvageable and get the necessary surgeries for that. I HAVE SO MANY GODDAMN DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS and other chronic illnesses that make me generally weak and not super reliable bc I can't stay out of the hospital. I am cautiously optimistic that if we can get my Jpouch sorted/if not get my ostomy working well, I wouldn't need disability forever...but I definitely need it now.

I have a phone appointment to speak with SS disability in September. Those of you on disability -- what sort or information did you need to have handy? My GI has agreed to fill out the necessary paperwork agreeing that I am currently real busted. I've been researching myself but goddamn it's overwhelming and I'm fresh out of the hospital/having a difficult time with my ostomy/diabetes management (related!), so I'm just kind of tired and stupid most of the time. I appreciate advice from anyone less tired and more smart. Hell, ill just take more smart. Less tired is kind of a tall order.

I just got out of the hospital with my loop ileostomy and I'm having some trouble. I called the hospital to get back to me with advice, but thought it would be a good idea to crowdsource some advice from people actually living the bag life, too.

First, the skin around my stoma is ANGRY. My first change at home was a little too wide--my stoma is changing shape with quickness-- but the subsequent ones have been very closely fitting. I used one of the wax barrier dealies on the first 2 failed changes (1 piece convatec, if it matters) and they didn't seem to protect me like they ought to. My stoma has gotten a bit "shy"; like it stuck out a bit in the hospital, now it's practically flush with the kinda weird wavy part of my belly around it. If it matters, im extremely thin right now 5'7, 116-120, weight changes a lot but doesn't crack 120 despite the COPIOUS peanut butter I'm eating), so...not totally sure what the lumpy/wavy part is but I feel like the nurse will tell me when they call back.

After a catastrophic leak last night, I put on a new bag, a two piece where I have been wearing 1 pieces. I still have glue on my surgical site (they couldn't do laparoscopic for me, had to cut me open) and the previous sticky bit outside the waxy, firm sticky bit of the wafer covered part of the incision, which is the area that kept popping/leaking. The wax ring seemed to be contributing to the leaks so I just stuck the 2 piece wafer right on with some protective powder. That wafer is much smaller than the 1 piece and doesn't touch the incision.

If you've read this far, thank you! If you have any insight or advice, I'd really appreciate it! While I was writing this enormous missive I got a call back from home healthcare, so at some point in the near future a nurse will be checking on me in person AND the hospital where I had this done is going to call back, but again -- y'all live with this, I'd appreciate any stories, experience, or advice y'all have :)

And a fun fact treat for reading so far: Did you know Chef Boyardee was a real guy? Yeah, before he was the face of canned pasta, he was a really, really popular chef in Cleveland and also made military rations for WWII.

We've been working really hard since our 2 yo started talking to get him to say please and thank you bc we don't want to raise a jerk. We *kinda* used a dog training method in that we offered him a small amount of a high-value treat, and for every single piece, he'd have to say "please". He didn't always like this. So we'd remind him: "how do you ask for something? p-p-p-p...please? Can you say it?"

Now he's routinely saying "popcorn, p-p-p-wease?" and I am 100% sure the little grifter just knows the stuttering p is super cute bc he DEFINITELY says "pwease" normally for stuff like more milk/juice/regular food, but for snacks he REALLY wants..."p-p-p-p pwease?" And ofc it works! For now, please *does* sort of need to be a magic word so he uses it very consistently. He is doing very well with it and today he was very chill about "ok, thank you for saying please, but before you have more popcorn, you need to eat some veggie and fruit squeezies, ok? But then more popcorn." Zero complaints! Full compliance with eating the squeezies! (I feel like I should say he's getting maybe 1/4 cup popcorn in a serving and is closely monitored when he eats it)

I ain't even mad at him. We're living in end stage capitalism and he's already got 1 decent grift under his baby belt. Does anyone else's toddler have an oddly specific grift they pull that actually works?

NGL, things got a little Shawshank Redemption-y and there's an excellent chance I'm going to have to do it again tomorrow bc i may have made the hole a little small--my stoma has gotten smaller than the template the ostomy/wound care specialist drew for me when he was teaching me--but it's done. I feel like I deserve a sticker for being brave but I'm just getting a shower for being slower than very liquid-y shit while I was arts n' crafting in the bathtub.

Really, really glad I did it in the bathtub.

Anyway, small victories!

T2 diabetic here. Last day of the hospital getting an ostomy and *despite* what the dietician says...it really, really looks like the 2 conditions require is pretty much opposite. What are y'all eating, if you are out there? I feel like I can't be the only one, bc I'm pretty sure my low fiber, high carb years of active UC/Chrons contributed to my diabeetus in the first place.

My toddler hates meat, but really likes the tofu in the miso soup at our favorite ramen place, so I got some diced dehydrated tofu to try at home. They're pretty small pieces -- do I need to do anything to them beyond just adding them to the soup and making sure they are properly softened before he eats them?

He's big enough that this isn't a safety thing, it's a culinary thing. I thought I'd be able to just sort of toss 'em in the way you do with freeze dried ramen toppings, but there seems to be dissent on usage and I know *nothing* about cooking tofu. Any advice is appreciated!

So my mom is selling the house I grew up in and for reasons that would take too long to explain, a large amount of ceramic and similar clowns are coming into my possession. Far too many clowns for my life. Do people like clowns? Is there a store that would take this deluge of clowns? Does anyone want some clowns? As clowns go, they're nice.

Does anyone else use the app "too good to go"? It's pretty cool-- some restaurants and grocery stores make bags of stuff that has hit its sell by date and you get a surprise bag of stuff at a steep discount. Like 30$ worth of food for 10$.

Tonight we got a bag from whole foods and it was 4 big ass ham sandwiches. Like they're sizeable, fancy whole foods ham sandwiches, but it was ham sammies alone. It feels like too many ham sandwiches.

Ok, I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person...but I'm utterly failing to understand how to up/download my own tracks to the creative tonie. Like if i used their stuff, I get that. But otherwise? Any help is appreciated!

Does anyone know of a mechanic who could fix an 18 yr old Volvo? Someone who works on the computer bits and AC of Volvos of a certain age? Any leads are greatly appreciated!

Just something I was thinking about -- I have a friend whose grandmother has moderate Alzheimer's -- like she has to be looked after but isnt at the point of needing specialized care. The fam is already pretty brilliant with their care of grandma, who used to be a major reader but can't focus anymore, so they got a bunch of well illustrated children's books on topics she's interested in (Bible stories, animals, local history). When my friend saw my son listen to his tonie box, she said she thought her grandma would really like tonies bc they're so easy to use and she could listen to music and stories independently (she suspects Grandma is losing the ability to read the children's books, unfortunately, but she still enjoys the pictures).

Has anyone considered tonies for memory care patients? They're simple to use and calming -- obviously you could make creatives for your relatives in need of memory care, but it would also be pretty dope if there was a line for people suffering from dementia that had westerns, musicals, and simple stories adults would be interested in (my grandad also has dementia and he used to LOVE Amish romance novels, for example).

I dunno, just something I was thinking about. Probably would be nice for people with severe intellectual disabilities, too.