how to stop being lukewarm when i have zero motivation?
so recently I've became very lukewarm- as the title says. I renewed my faith with God a few years ago after not really caring about my religion for most of my life (I was raised catholic but never really participated in it) but recently I feel like I've been trying to push God away unintentionally (but a part of me doesn't want to be held accountable so I guess some part of it is intentional because I don't want to give up my lifestyle)
I've been really happy lately as God as blessed me after struggling with depression, and I've been very grateful, I thank God every night for the things he's given me and sometimes I feel as if I'm living like a king with how much he has given me. I read a Bible quote every night, and im glad I do that but I feel guilty for not reading more of the Bible and not dedicating more of my day to God.
I try my best to be kind, as I firmly believe in the verse "if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." I want to make the world a better place more than anything, but I worry I can't call myself a good or faithful person if I can't even dedicate my time to God
I repeat many sins, I always apologize to God and try to repent but it's not really repenting if I go back to my sins anyways.
I also fear judgement very much as I see everybody talking about Jesus's return and I'm afraid I haven't done enough as a subject of God to spread his love and his word
what can I do to be closer with God? like little habits maybe. I do not have a lot of discipline or motivation so keep that in mind- I only want to take part in the pleasures of this world which I really want to change.
I can answer further questions, sorry this kinda turned into a rant as I'm just so frustrated with myself and I'd like to end this with asking for people to pray for me (sorry if this isn't allowed bc it's not a prayer request post necessarily!)
God bless!