u/VVS-s-b-b-bussin

I have 4 weeks of blockers left until i can stop hrt, and im nervous for how my detransition is going to feel physiologically but also am worried about potential complications in the future. I have taken estrogen and testosterone blockers for 5 years now and as much as i feel unhealthy and im already dealing with bone aches from just a 3-day break (no estrogen no testosterone).

Are former transgender women at risk for breast cancer?
Prostate cancer?
Osteoporosis?

And what can we do to prevent?

I looked this up but the studies are pretty complicated to go through

This is completely anecdotal and personal but i took a 3 day break twice from estrogen but my testosterone is still being suppressed as i have 12 weekly blocker injections (i have 6 weeks left) and right now i am crazy fatigued and my wrists and joints are hurting! Some people advised me to not wait until the blockers wear out in the comments on my other posts and that is a bad idea. Im going to continue listening to my doctor’s advice which is; you need atleast one of two hormones, a deficit of both is dangerous for bone health

One day i smoked and looked in the mirror, and the entire illusionary vision ofna woman just faded and i realized i am a man trying to beautify myself to become a woman and im just completely in shock. From 17 to 26 i have been stuck in a pattern to desire being pretty after my very first heartbreak. Now for a week ive been waking up feeling more ‘male’ than ever and my heart is just so so heavy. I have wasted my youth. I have hurt my family. I have killed my potential. I ruined my life. I have risked my own entire life and that of others. And im just in pure shock, that this is what i’ve done. How do you deal with this feeling man

Soft launching the end of my same sex attraction feelings

Seeing beautiful femboys and feminine gay boys developping, wearing makeup and feminine clothes without transitioning is making me mourn the gay boy i could have been if i was just a couple years younger. I hate tucking, dont have bottom or top dysphoria and the only thing i hate about myself is things that make me ‘ugly’. My transition is solely based on internalized homophobia and self-hatred. Had i gone about it this other way i couldve simply bene feminine whenever i wanted, but also been natural and comfortable if i felt like it. Being transgender comes with so much force and acting. I miss being a laid back nerdy boy.

Im 26 now and i would say ive been obsessed with worrying about how i look since i was 16 to the point where i transitioned and ive finally reached a point where i realized that looks arent everything and ive neglected almost every other aspect of my life in search of perfection through beauty. There’s somewhat grief there but also relief aswell but it’s mostly disappointment of me being 26 and a bum and not hahing achieved anything in love other than the realization that i am more than my looks. I could have used all that precious energy into my passion and hobby’s and craft but instead I chose this which is really sad because at the end of the day i still look relatively the same i mean im still me so it sucks that my youth was wasted on vanity in order for me to love myself but i guess it is what it is and im glad i found out now rather than 40 or 50. But im still sad ab the fact that i havent maintained friendships properly and stuff but it is what it is this has been on my mind lately and thankyou for taking the time to read. Have a blessed day.

So i think i might have it, caused by weed which put me in these weird dreamy states where i would feel dreamy sensations, and ever since i stopped i still feel remnants pf that for example when im on my phone for too long and i get off and realize i am in my own home it feels almost surreal that i am in my home and not in a weird internet sub space and time. I also feel the urge to jump in water in the ocean? In hopes it will wake me up to reality? I have limited social contact and zero real life friends so im basically isolated other then trivial interactions at work and hobbies but even there i have moments where… life feels unreal.

I think it might also be happening during waking me up, whereas i feel alot of sensations which causes me not to be able to just get uo right away and first fully feel like i have to calibrate and FEEL steady and present before i can start the day.

I can also kind of describe it as a realization of the physical perspective i have through my eyes, and that being abnormal? Like it feels weird that i can see people but i cant see myself and that my vision is alllll the way up around the top of my face rather then any other point.
Would you describe this as dissociating?

Because growing up i was always compared to other boys which caused idolization in me which turned into attraction and my actual type in women repressed to be the type of woman im trying to look like now.

I know it sounds crazy, but i actually do see connections of those groups and i kinda believe that sexuality is fluid anyway, and this just happened to become mine through socialization

Because growing up i was always compared to other boys which caused idolization in me which turned into attraction and my actual type in women repressed to be the type of woman im trying to look like now.

I know it sounds crazy, but i actually do see connections of those groups and i kinda believe that sexuality is fluid anyway, and this just happened to become mine through socialization

Ive posted about this before where since ive been on hormones my experience of sensations feel desensitized as far as physical touch, my legs have gotten thicker and it feels like theres a barrier between when i touch it and what i feel. During masturbation ive noticed it aswell, extremely desensitized to touch to where only the orgasm is pleasureable while i used to be very sensitive naturally. Is this normal?

Anytime i see myself in video footage my self concept crumbles and i see my sister who i hate. I dont want to look like her and she was not my transition goal at all, i wanted to distance myself from their look but it seems i nerfed myself to be a ugly clone of her. I transitioned for beauty initially but HRT genuinely changed my experience of life for the better so i can’t say im not trans because being treats like the feminine that i am truthfully validates my essence its just, i dont look the way i want to look based on aesthetics and thats not even gender disphoria i feel because i see many many gorgeous femboys and inbetweens that i wander over, but i just dont have that IT factor and i guess i thoight transitioning would give that to me and its not. I do see it at times where im dolled up but its just a facade because once the tan fades, my makeups off & im back to my default state i get the ick of myself again.

Sometimes i look like a painted woman. Like somebody tried tk create a woman by drawing hair on a male character and it scares rhe shit out of me and makes me want to revert and be an ugly boy again so i could atleast look human and not like a creature

Edit: guys i take 6 mg total a day, with doses of 2mg 3 times a day… NOT 3 x 6!

I just cant believe how peaceful and soft this hormone does my nervous system. I still cant wrap my head around the fact that my body’s natural hormone levels as a ‘male’ dont align with my nervous system but artificial ones do. Its a crazy concept but i am so glad to have figured it out. The peace and calmness is indescribable. Estrogen feels like a drug for me.

Anytime i see a realistic new perspective of myself im reminded of how pale, ugly, male and clocky i look. Everybody around me tells me i pass and i do, but im a perfectionist and if i dont recognize a woman in my reflection i get very sad. Im 4.5 years on hormones and ive changed alot but also have alot of change ahead of me. I believe rhino is going to be my biggest feminizer. Im just upset and blaming myself for not working hard enough to save money for all my surgeries. Manifesting a speedy second half of my transition..

It felt good and it activated some masculinity within me but it feels weird to see myself react to my orgasm in that masculine of a way and it just doesnt align with how i want to look which is feminine and pretty and i just feel really really weird and confused because on one hand i enjoyed something but on another hand rhats not how i wanna be its so weird

I have noticed that when I get ready i tend to be more on the nervous time especially if im in a rush, and leaving the house always feels like im being watched from everywhere, whereas towards the end of my day and im walking back home i have the most confidence, dont feel as watched or objectified or any negative stimuli from the external unless im like tired or overstimulated and want to be in my own bubble. But theres this high to low graph im noticing here, wonder if anyone can relate and what it means?