My husband just took a three week vacation in July and now he wants to take another in October. I can’t deal with it. I swear he has the world best(or worst for me) vacation time.
I can’t take three more weeks of him day-drinking, ordering fast food, and being annoying.
Oldest(12) is on the spectrum. He got the super nerdy version of it. Personally, I don’t think there is a single thing wrong with him. He’s not the most conversational person on earth but whatever.
His pediatrician keeps pushing speech therapy, occupational therapy, and regular MRIs. Hours upon hours of therapy multiple times per week. Sometimes a morning session and an afternoon one at the same place but with awkward 3 hours gap(it’s 45 minutes from our house).
He tried speech therapy. He hated it, the owner of the place was an annoying bitch that told me we need her permission to go on vacation or call out sick, the therapist spoke to him like people used to speak to people that don’t speak English(loud and slow).
The occupational therapist told him there’s something wrong with you if you don’t like sports. She was also upset that he has messy handwriting. He’s a preteen boy, are you expecting calligraphy? It’s legible and that’s all you can ask of him. My son swore at her and so did I.
Regular MRIs to see if he’s still autistic. Is it just going to fucking go away? It’s his brain structure not a fucking rash. I’m not subjecting him to that or paying for that. And I can’t even make an appointment with any of fucking neurologists that take our insurance because the pediatric one only sees patients under 6 and the regular one only sees patients over 18. I’m not driving to the other side of the state for them to go “lol, yup he’s got the ‘tism”.
And this is the least judgmental pediatrician he’s had 🙃
He drank most of a 1.5l bottle of wine and passed out in bed. At midnight I woke up to him gasping for air(he has had lung issues in the past, not technically related to drinking but I doubt it helps). I ask him if he wants me to call 911, he tells me no then falls to the floor gasping and twitching. Of course at that point I called. Ten minutes of twitching a gasping while we wait for the paramedics. At one point he went completely limp and wasn’t breathing. The paramedics checked him out and he was completely fine. O2 at 100%, normal lung sounds, normal pulse, ever so slightly high blood pressure. He wants to go to the hospital anyway and he’s continuing with the gasping and twitching so they take him. He had multiple x-rays at the hospital and……
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..
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He pulled a muscle. All of that for a very minor pulled muscle. I’m so tired. I had to move his heavy ass legs because he “fell” blocking the bedroom and I didn’t want the paramedics to damage the door to get to him. He’s been bitching the whole day about how terrible they were. They were great, seriously unbelievably calm and professional in spite of his behavior. To give you an idea of how completely non serious it was, he was discharged in under hour in one of the busiest hospitals in a major city 🙃
He drank most of a 1.5l bottle of wine and passed out in bed. At midnight I woke up to him gasping for air(he has had lung issues in the past, not technically related to drinking but I doubt it helps). I ask him if he wants me to call 911, he tells me no then falls to the floor gasping and twitching. Of course at that point I called. Ten minutes of twitching a gasping while we wait for the paramedics. At one point he went completely limp and wasn’t breathing. The paramedics checked him out and he was completely fine. O2 at 100%, normal lung sounds, normal pulse, ever so slightly high blood pressure. He wants to go to the hospital anyway and he’s continuing with the gasping and twitching so they take him. He had multiple x-rays at the hospital and……
….
…
..
.
He pulled a muscle. All of that for a very minor pulled muscle. I’m so tired.
He can’t actually be bothered to parent so he acts like a sulky teenage brother. He’ll watch them if he has to with a whine. He picks on them. He tries to get them to police each other. He just wants to play WoW with his friends all day.
My husband has been pushing and pushing to get a dog. I don’t want one.
I love dogs but they’re expensive and I just don’t have the mental bandwidth for one right now.
I handle all the cooking and cleaning, I homeschool our middle schooler, I take care of our toddler, I handle all the banking. I can’t even take a piss without someone following me and demanding things. Even my fucking husband takes fucking work phone calls while trying to be in the bathroom with me.
No. Just fucking no.
So toddler woke up at 4:30am. Whatever, I can deal with that. We watch Pooh bear and play picnic for 3 hours then head to the backyard to feed the birds.
We come back inside and my husband has dragged his office chair into the bathroom to stand on to catch a spider and left the chair in there. The bathroom that was clean when I went in to backyard 15 minutes before looks like the goblins from Labyrinth had a hair spray fight in there. Bits of string and hair everywhere. He doesn’t even have that much hair on his head. How the fuck!?
He then spent the next couple hours complaining that our oldest(12) was making noises. Laughter. He was complaining about laughter.
Then he decided to make a pick up order for various bullshit. When he gets home he asks me to walk to my parent’s house to borrow my dad’s air compressor because he hit a pothole and thinks the car has a flat. He then flips out when I tell him no. He says he’s tired, he just worked three days in a row 🙄
It started off with my hair looking like shit no matter what I did. So throw it in a bun and head off to the grocery store. Toddler is being whiny and wants everything. Then my card declines. Plenty of available credit, no reason for it to happen. I don’t know why and neither does the bank. I had to use a card I don’t like to use but at least we got our food right?
During all the chaos the bagger turned an entire tray of orange chicken upside down and it leaked. I didn’t even notice until we got home 🙃 My husband hid. Literally hid so that he didn’t have to help carry the groceries in or put them away.
Toddler has been having off and on constipation that’s stresses me out. I asked my husband if he would take her to the doctor with me and he called me selfish and unable to parent.
Preteen slipped in the aforementioned orange chicken juice. He’s fine just bruised.
And my husband is still on fucking vacation. 3rd week of him sitting there being useless.
My husband has ADHD(severe in my opinion). He held it together just fine until he hit his 40s and now it’s a complete cluster fuck when he’s home. He’s currently on a three week “staycation”.
He has broken the pantry doors 3 times this month.
He found some uncapped markers so instead of putting the cap on them or putting them in a ziplock or literally anything else he decided to wrap them in our youngest pajamas and shove in under the coffee table.
He threw out the kids candy because he doesn’t like it.
He has been hogging the living room for weeks.
He goes into the bathroom every 20 minutes and either blows his nose or rubs dry toilet paper on his face to get rid of dry skin. Not only does that make it worse we’ve been going through two rolls a day.
He stays up late and makes a mess after I’ve cleaned in the evening.
He’s been spending $40-$60 per day on snacks.
My youngest is almost three and she’s difficult to potty train. Peeing is fine but she hates pooping and really hates pooping on the potty to the point of constipation which just makes it even worse for her.
Get ready for the most privileged first world complaint you’ll see today.
My husband wants to go dinner but I don’t want to! I don’t want to spend $100+, I don’t want to eat while he picks at his food like an alien, I don’t want my parents to have to babysit while they’re busy, I don’t want our toddler to go to bed late and waking up grumpy, I don’t want to have to clean up everything when we get home.
😑
My cousin is an influencer(🤢) that married into money, like 1% level money. She’s naturally pretty but she has literal millions to spend each year on surgery, fillers, personal chefs and trainers, she has multiple maids and nannies. She’s also a fucking awful person and her husband is worse. He’s a trophy hunter aka giraffe murderer.
But I’m the shitty one because I can’t maintain my home as well as a woman that has a fucking cleaning staff and never sees her children.
I never ask for help with anything. I figured out when I was very young that people either wouldn’t help or would just make it worse. Family, acquaintances, coworkers, doesn’t matter, they all feel the need to specifically tell me they will not help me.
I’m throwing away some old dog bedding I get “DO NOT expect me to help you with that”
I had to strap up my ankle after fall and it’s “I’m not fixing your mistake!”
The weirdest was years ago when I mentioned to a coworker that I was hungry and couldn’t wait for lunch “Well, I’m not buying it for you!”
Why the flying fuck are you setting off something that sounds like a mortar at 11pm. The kids are scared, the dogs are scared, the wild animals are absolutely terrified, and that’s just my house. Imagine that times a few million.
Our toddler was scared so let her sleep in our bed. About 45 minutes ago he wakes up then rips the pillow out from under her head which obviously wakes her up screaming then he runs to the living room. I pick up the toddler to get her some milk and see what the hell he was doing. He’s just standing in the corner looking at him computer so I get milk and back to our bed.
She wanted me to read her favorite book as he’s coming back to the bedroom. I asked why he did that and he explodes.
First of all he denied it. Then he decided to start screaming that I’m r€t@rded, calls me a stupid butch, throws her book across the room then says he didn’t, demands I apologize to him for him calling me a stupid bitch, says I only pretend to be a caring mother, and now he’s packing to leave.
I don’t have anyone to talk to.
Edit: If I stop replying that means I’ve fallen asleep. I’m safe, promise.
Background:
My husband had a terrible childhood. Think 3rd world style poverty in the Deep South. Neither of his parents or close family have ever had consistent employment. Ever. He moved away from that hell hole, met me, and I convinced him to go to college. For most of his career he’s worn scrubs and been on the hospital floor. He completed his masters degree a couple years ago and recently got a promotion that’s a desk job.
Now that he has a desk job he has to start dressing up for work. He keeps trying to wear shoddy old jeans and t-shirts because when he was young his parents taught him that looks “humble” and people will be impressed. I’ve managed to get him to at least wear slacks and a button down shirt but from what I’ve heard he has a habit of ditching the button down and just wearing his short sleeve undershirt. His boss’ boss has made some subtle hints that he needs to dress better if he ever wants to move up(he does!) and he just ignores her.
The worst part is that he was offered the opportunity to go on a business trip. It would have been a huge career boost and great for networking. He turned it down because he had never heard of the city it’s taking place in. It’s in a well known place think Aspen or Sedona.
Advice, commiseration, or whatever you’ve got for me.
My husband.
One of his coworkers is having a party and invited everyone plus their family. And he only wants to take our youngest because he doesn’t want anyone to be around our autistic oldest child.
Our 12 year old is level one/low support needs/high functioning. He’s super nerdy and a toe walker. He is also one of the most awesome kids to ever exist(3 year old is also awesome but extremely neurotypical and there’s not embarrassing to my husband). He’s responsible, helpful, and the most trustworthy kid I’ve ever met. Yesterday he spend over an hour making clay sharks for little sister. How many 12 year old boys willingly spend an hour with a 3 year old? But he’s not conversational with people he doesn’t know(or like, hence he’s not conversational with his dad).
But of course King Asshole is too embarrassed.
Why do people think this is some sort of ultimate own?
Oh, you got me. It’s actually all my fault!
No dumbass. He changed. Anyone that knew him before 2022(already a decade into our marriage)can tell you that he fucking changed.
As far as I know I’m not damn clairvoyant. But shame on me for not expecting my normal pleasant helpful husband to turn into an unrelenting asshole the second I got pregnant with our second child.
Seriously it feels like at least half the posts are AI generated.