u/Vega4628

Today is hard. I didn’t take my cat into the vet when I noticed she wasn’t eating. It should’ve been obvious when she wouldn’t even eat her tuna. It should have been obvious when she didn’t want to be around her sister or me.

My girl left me too soon. She was only 3. had started having anal gland issues about nine months prior, which had led to multiple vet visits to get her anal glands expressed and all sorts of different things to try and help her be comfortable, so when all of this happened, I didn’t realize how serious it was when she stopped eating.

I feel this void inside of me that just feels at fault. A little pings in my chest that feel like a fraction of what I felt when I got the call from the vet telling me that she didn’t make it.

It turns out that the reason she wasn’t eating is because her liver was failing, and she had progressed to the point of having jaundice. Even though I’ve had cats all my lives I didn’t recognize the sign because I was busy with other things and I feel like a Fraud for saying she’s my best friend, but I didn’t take the time for my best friend because I didn’t know it was serious. I didn’t know it was serious.

I don’t know if jaundice is a complication of anal gland issues or if they’re totally unrelated and I can’t use that as the scapegoat. The load is heavy and I’m carrying the weight of this responsibility.

I had a period of a few months where either I pretended that I was over it or just had to put it to the side because of life and work, but here I am 10 months later and I’m still back in the throes of grief. I feel so silly for letting it hit me this hard but I thought I was a good cat mom and if I was a good cat mom, I should’ve known that my girl was sick and I I saw it and I chose to ignore it. She didn’t eat her tuna. She always ate her tuna.

She was a beautiful calico with the most gorgeous fur pattern, and the soft fur that always felt luxurious and thick, she slept with me every night. Her sister is alive and happy, and they have the exact same texture of fur. Last night, I closed my eyes and kept my hand on her sister and imagined I was running my fingers through her fur. I love you forever, Mrs. Paolo and I’m so sorry for failing you.

​Hi guys,

Fell in love at first sight with this suspended coffee table design when I saw it in a hostel. After using it as a painting station for almost 2 months, I’m a huge fan of how the design fits in a space without traditional table legs.

Curious if anyone could help me make sense of the materials and methods of recreating this design - it may be fixed or vertically adjustable but hopefully one if you will be able to confirm. Thank you!

reuploaded the photo to imgur so it loads easier :)