u/VirgoVanity

I am 31F and am a single mum to the most gorgeous, happy little boy, but I am not a single mum by choice. After a decade of close friendship and what I thought was a happy several years long relationship, my partner left me for his work colleague when I was 7 months pregnant. It came out of the blue, I didn’t even know she existed. My relationship history before him wasn’t great either, involving cheating and dv.

All of my friends are either engaged or married and none have children yet. I watched one of them get married three weeks ago and it was the most beautiful ceremony filled with so much love between two of the most wonderful people. However, I feel like I have been in an existential crisis ever since. Being a single mum is so incredibly hard and watching my friends all in happy, caring, long term relationships where they’ve never had issues while I am single is killing me. I feel like I will never find someone that wants to take on raising another man’s child, and all my baggage that comes along with it. It breaks my heart every time I look at my little boy knowing he has a father who isn’t interested and I feel like a failure.

I feel desperately lonely surrounded by all these couples and I just think, why can’t that be me? Why can’t I have someone that loves me that much? I feel like I’ve done something wrong to end up like this but I don’t know what it is. I feel like everyone looks at me with pity and like I’m some sort of train wreck. I love my son more than anything and he is my number one priority, but sometimes I just want someone who loves me as much as I love them, someone I can lean on during the hard days. I want someone to want to marry me and I don’t think that’s selfish of me to want.

I know people will say ‘why did you have a baby with him when you weren’t married’ but it wasn’t a planned pregnancy. I had been on contraception and it failed, but we had been seriously looking at rings when we found out I was pregnant and decided mutually that we would keep the baby as we both wanted children. There was also the possibility of infertility on his side, so we just decided we’d do things in a different order. I seriously had no reason to think I would ever be in the position I find myself in now and wouldn’t have gone through with the pregnancy if I thought it was even remotely a possibility.

Are there any other women my age who have been in this position? Did you ever find someone and does it ever get better?

Sorry if I have used the wrong flair, I wasn’t sure which one to put this under.

My ex and I were close friends for a decade before we started dating and we were together 3 years. One evening he told his family we were finally moving in together and buying a house and making engagement jokes, then 24 hours later he broke up with me saying he didn’t care about the relationship. I was completely blindsided.

24 hours after breaking up, he was in a relationship with his work colleague that I didn’t even know existed and a week later they had moved in together.

2 months after breaking up he went on holiday with her and her family and posted it all over his Instagram, but he never posted me once. 4 months after we broke up she replaced me as his plus one to his sister’s wedding. 6 months after we broke up and he’s fully integrated her into our friendship group. His family have told me he’s pretty much acting like we never dated.

The speed at which they’re moving is completely crushing me and I don’t understand how he’s moved on like I was nothing. All that friendship and history just gone and I can’t even hang out with our friends in peace because she’s always there, I have to just uninvite myself to avoid getting upset.

How do I even move on from this? It’s been 6 months and I’m as heartbroken as I was the day he left me.

My son’s father left me for his work colleague I didn’t know existed 8 months into my pregnancy. We were very close friends for a decade before we started dating for 4 years and I really thought I knew him and I’d picked a good life partner.

He doesn’t want anything to do with us and my heart breaks for my son every time I look at him. He’s only 3 months old, but I don’t know what I’m going to do when he grows up and starts asking about him. I worry constantly about how it will affect him growing up. How it will affect him seeing all these loving families when all he’s got is me who can’t afford all the nice things they’ll have.

I had to move far away from everyone I know just to be able to afford somewhere to live and even then it’s not a great place. I’ve not done anything in the past 3 months that isn’t related to caring for my son. I feel desperately lonely, trapped and like I’ve ruined my life, even though I love my son and he is wanted. I don’t know how I’m going to cope much longer, let alone for a minimum of 18 years. I don’t know how I’m going to afford anything on my salary and it absolutely terrifies me. I’m barely sleeping at this point.

If anyone has ever been in a similar situation, please tell me how you made it work on your own with minimal support.

When looking at the synastry chart of myself and particular person for a romantic reading, the houses in which our planets fall change depending on which system used. For example:

Using Placidus, my Sun and Venus fall into his 12H and Saturn his 6H, whereas using Whole Sign, Sun & Venus fall in his 1H and Saturn his 7H.

I feel like this changes the interpretation of how the aspects in our synastry work quite significantly and the areas of our relationship it affects. I feel as though some Placidus readings resonate more in some cases and in others the Whole Sign fits better, however it doesn’t feel right to pick and choose readings from each.

How do you determine which system to use in a case like this?

That’s what I should have been saying this morning as I woke up next to you.

Instead I woke up alone whilst you woke up next to her. You didn’t even wait 48 hours.

Why do you get to be happy whilst I’m shattered into a million pieces? I don’t understand. I’ll never understand.

I am looking at the synastry chart between myself and a recent ex partner.

I had previously always used whole sign, but I decided to look at the placidus chart and it’s completely shifted where my planets fall in my exes houses. For example, in whole sign my Sun and Venus are in his first and my Moon in his 8th, but reading placidus my Sun and Venus are in his 12th and my Moon his 7th.

I feel like this makes our synastry reading completely different depending on which system you use. What is the best system to use and what is the difference between the two?

I have been trying to manifest an SP who is also my ex.

I am suddenly seeing the same make, model and colour of his car everywhere when I have not previously.

The other day I was driving through his home town on the way to see a friend and the car in front of me had his name in their number plate. They were in front of me for the number of minutes equal to the date he was born on.

I keep hearing his name everywhere; I’ve turned on the tv to a random channel and the first name that’s mentioned is his. I’ve opened TikTok and the first video that pops up will be by someone with his name.

Are these examples of a manifestation starting to work, or am I being delusional and subconsciously looking for things? I don’t know if he is with someone new, would that make a difference?

Some background: we were close friends for nearly a decade before we got together and then dated for 3 years. We’ve been in the same friend group that whole time.

During our relationship we didn’t live together but saw each other every weekend. We were about to start buying our first home when he left me and stated seeing his work colleague (27F) the next day. A couple of weeks later they were in a relationship and he pretty much moved into her house the minute they started dating. Within a few months, he’s already been on holiday with her family, plastered her all over his social media after a 6 year hiatus of never posting and made his sister invite her to her wedding in my place even though she’s never met her. I have heard through his family that he is pretty much acting like I never existed and we never dated.

The speed at which he’s moved with their relationship compared to ours has absolutely rocked me and I’m completely heartbroken. After 12 years and being the only friend who knew about and was there for him during a mental health crisis, he’s just tossed me to the side like I never mattered.

A couple of our friends are turning 30 this summer and I’m dreading having to see him and her at their parties. Our friends all know the situation and think the way he’s acted is appalling, but some are closer to him and some closer to me, so things are a bit difficult.

How am I supposed to act in front of them? What is the best way to act? I never got a conversation when I was dumped, just told it was done and that was it and I don’t know how to sit there without saying anything.

TL;DR: Ex moved on with a work colleague the day after ending a 3 year relationship and moved incredibly fast with her. We have been friends for 12 years in the same group. How do I navigate having to be around them?

As the title says - how would someone with this stellium be affected?

We were together for 2.5 years and close friends for 10 years before that.

He hadn’t posted since 2020 when we got together and never posted the whole time we were in a relationship, so near 6 years without posting.

He went from telling his family and our friends that we were going to start looking at buying a house, to dumping me 24 hours after saying that, because he ‘no longer cared about the relationship’. Now 2 months after breaking up, he’s posted a 12 photo reel with multiple pictures of him and his new girlfriend, who he knows from work, on holiday. After 6 years of social media silence. Who knows how quickly they got together.

I feel like I’ve been shot in the heart. We’re in the same friendship group so I hadn’t blocked him to remain as civil as possible for the sake of our friends. That was a mistake.

I am crushed.