u/Visible_Today_7862

We're visiting Maui with my parents and our 10-month-old daughter. Unfortunately, we couldn't get sunrise reservations for Haleakalā, so we're thinking about going for sunset instead.
The forecast is showing clouds and some rain later in the day, and we're trying to decide if the drive is still worth it. Has anyone gone up for sunset when the forecast looked questionable? Were you still able to get good views or see the sunset above the clouds?
Any recent experiences or advice would be greatly appreciated.

I (33F) feel like I’m losing my mind and really need outside perspective to understand if leaving my marriage is the right decision for me and my daughter.
My husband (36M) feels like a completely different person from the man I married. Over time, he has developed a lot of resentment toward me and constantly blames me for things, even things I don’t understand or remember. He often brings up past issues involving his mother and says I have “wronged” her, even when I don’t recall those situations or feel they were ever serious enough to be brought up now.
During fights, he frequently compares things I’ve done (or even joked about) to how I treated his mother or family, and uses that as justification for retaliation. For example, once I jokingly told my daughter that I wanted to watch a movie but couldn’t because he wasn’t feeling well. He became extremely offended over that.
Another time, I mentioned something about a relative of his, and although things seemed fine initially, the next morning his mother brought it up, and suddenly I was told I was wrong. He has also threatened me in the past, saying he would “do worse” to me if I repeated certain things again.
During my postpartum depression period, there was a situation where he liked a cap and I said no to buying it, and he responded by saying next time I like something, he would do the same to me. That kind of tit-for-tat mindset shows up often.
I try to communicate and always check with him before making plans. For example, last week my father made plans, and I checked with my husband first—he agreed—but the next day he still blamed me for “ruining his weekend.”
Recently, I asked him to sleep next to our 9-month-old daughter while I went to pick up my parents from a movie so she wouldn’t roll off the bed. He refused and said I should have “crib trained her,” and didn’t help, which forced me to take her with me. She cried the entire time.
He also believes that whoever earns more has more power and authority in the relationship, and has said there is no such thing as karma.
I feel constantly blamed, threatened, and emotionally exhausted. I have asked for marriage counseling multiple times, but he has always refused. Now even I don’t want it anymore, because I feel too drained.
I have a 9-month-old daughter, I’m not doing well financially, and I feel emotionally dependent, which makes this even harder.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I just need perspective on whether I’m overreacting or if this is as serious as it feels. Please advise.

TL;DR: My husband constantly blames me, brings up old issues, refuses counseling, and sometimes threatens me. I feel emotionally exhausted, financially stuck, and unsure if I should stay or leave with my 9-month-old daughter.

I feel like I’m losing my mind and really need outside perspective to understand if leaving my marriage is the right decision for me and my daughter.
My husband feels like a completely different person from the man I married. Over time, he has developed a lot of resentment toward me and constantly blames me for things, even things I don’t understand or remember. He often brings up past issues involving his mother and says I have “wronged” her, even when I don’t recall those situations or feel they were ever serious enough to be brought up now.
During fights, he frequently compares things I’ve done (or even joked about) to how I treated his mother or family, and uses that as justification for retaliation. For example, once I jokingly told my daughter that I wanted to watch a movie but couldn’t because he wasn’t feeling well. He became extremely offended over that.
Another time, I mentioned something about a relative of his, and although things seemed fine initially, the next morning his mother brought it up, and suddenly I was told I was wrong. He has also threatened me in the past, saying he would “do worse” to me if I repeated certain things again.
During my postpartum depression period, there was a situation where he liked a cap and I said no to buying it, and he responded by saying next time I like something, he would do the same to me. That kind of tit-for-tat mindset shows up often.
I try to communicate and always check with him before making plans. For example, last week my father made plans, and I checked with my husband first—he agreed—but the next day he still blamed me for “ruining his weekend.”
Recently, I asked him to sleep next to our 9-month-old daughter while I went to pick up my parents from a movie so she wouldn’t roll off the bed. He refused and said I should have “crib trained her,” and didn’t help, which forced me to take her with me. She cried the entire time.
He also believes that whoever earns more has more power and authority in the relationship, and has said there is no such thing as karma.
I feel constantly blamed, threatened, and emotionally exhausted. I have asked for marriage counseling multiple times, but he has always refused. Now even I don’t want it anymore, because I feel too drained.
I have a 9-month-old daughter, I’m not doing well financially, and I feel emotionally dependent, which makes this even harder.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I just need perspective on whether I’m overreacting or if this is as serious as it feels.

I'm struggling and looking for perspective from people who have been through this.
We both work fulltime and have a 9month old daughter who is not crib-trained yet.
The other night, I had to pick up my parents from a movie late at night. Before I left, I asked my husband if he could simply sleep on the other side of the bed so our daughter wouldn't roll off while I was gone.
Instead of helping, he blamed me and said this wouldn't be an issue if I had crib-trained her.
Because he refused, I had no choice but to take my daughter with me late at night. She cried the entire drive, and it was so stressful. When I got home and told him how difficult it had been, he blamed me again instead of showing any empathy or acknowledging that he could have helped.
This isn't an isolated incident. Whenever something goes wrong, he finds a way to make it my fault. I feel unsupported and constantly blamed, even when I'm simply asking for help.

For those who have left a marriage, how did you know it was time? Was it one defining moment, or was it the repeated pattern of feeling unsupported and blamed?

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