u/Wannabeartist9974

It's due to all the Vought Rising promo.

In reality i agree, that objectively this isn't the worst thing ever, and i really loved the initial episodes in this season.

But all the time spent on promoting Vought Rising and the Super Natural cameos is what essentially left me incredibly pissed off.

I am really forgiving with flaws, it takes a lot for me to actually dislike something, if this season had been consistent, and centered on the Boys and HL (including Ryan) the ending as it stands having a few hiccups, would not annoy me as much.

But after having SB steal the spotlight all the time, diminish HL's threatening aura, which is important as he IS the big bad, no matter how pathetic he actually is, he has to demonstrate that he is a huge problem to take down.

All this together makes an ending that on a better season i would have been much more forgiving, grind all my gears, because all i can think about is how better would have landed, if that time invested on freaking Spinoff characters went to the ones we were following already.

It doesn't help that Kripke will not acknowledge these writing issues.

That's it, that's the last piece of my mind on this.

I guess i need to offer a little context, i'll try to not derail to much, or describe too much as per the rules mandate.

Basically i (27M) have been struggling with a sort of sexual addiction for years, it would be easy to explain, if it was just porn , but nah i just had to make it complicated. I got addicted to online spaces and chatting with the worst kind of human scum in the world.

I started when i was young and shy/introverted , and as time went on i kept going deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole, encountering worse and worse people to the point of developing a fake persona, that acts the opposite way to how i do irl, to not be discovered. Like a sheep putting on a wolf's clothing.

And of course, that shit messed me up, talking to those peeps and specially pretending to be one of them, to never run out of conversations did a number to my own sense of self.

I have already done plenty of work to deal with it, recognized the thought patterns, self image issues, and trauma that led me to end up in such a way.

I used to punish myself, but learnt that thinking of myself as a disgusting freak, was only feeding the addiction. And that i had to learn to love my actual self to stop indulging a fake persona.

So you know, i did what you are supposed to do, blocked myself from those spaces, went out, socialized, worked out, traveled around the world,learnt to know myself better, focused on the good things in my life, made more friends, maintained a healthy relationship with women, the usual.

I've relapsed a few times but each time i got stronger from it, managed to stay away for longer and longer until we reached a point, where my mind felt clearer, and i finally felt like myself, like the way i was before being exposed to all that disgusting noise.

But i don't know what's going on that i have broken that streak and relapsed three times now between the past month and today.

In the past it would be easy to fall on the rabbit hole while dissociating, or being on one of my depressive days, you know when i felt weak or vulnerable.

But this is now happening after experiencing positive moments that bring me hope for the future.

First time was when i met a relative, who has too gone through some stuff but managed to be succesful in spite of it all, i connected a lot with him, received good advice, he made me feel like my future could actually be bright.

Felt good, and then right after it i went in to get drunk with people that i was not comfortable with, came back home, alone, went down the rabbit hole, hooked up with a complete stranger, which i absolutely did not want to do, while still being drunk and frankly being absolutely cruel to myself, trating my life as if it was worthless, for no reason.

Few hours ago i was inspired and looking brightly at the future, so what the hell?

Second time, it was similar, went out with my cousins and some friends, had a good night, met new people, reminisced about crazy events we had shared together a week ago.

Went back home, did that shit again.

And finally we reach today, i managed to force myself to wake up early, i was ready to write my progress in my diary, keep myself in check, you know?

I had a lot to process, since well yesterday as i was getting a sick double twist retwist on my dreadlocks, i guess the chat with my loctician got a bit personal.

She asked questions about past experiences and how i felt about them, pointed out that i hadn't yet forgiven my father for not being there, which i guess was true so idk i welled up and cried.

But, you know this is nothing new, it's all stuff i have already written down, analyzed, thought about processed.

I don't want to keep giving it power, only reason i even started thinking about agains is due to fucking Kendrick Lamar's Mr Morale album, but it's nothing i haven't faced before throughout the years.

It just felt good to let out my feelings at that moment, she's a person i trust and i felt like i took some weight off my shoulders, and came back home, smiling.

I even had a kitty climb up to me, sleep on my lap and it even tried to comfort me as i vented out. Weird thing, since it was a one month old kitty and it was the first time it met me, never had i ever had a cat warm up to my presence so instantly.

This rambling is getting too long, but i want y'all to understand i don't have a bad life, i don't punish myself as much as i did when i started out on this crap , i have a lot of family around me that i know that love me, i'm trying to get a job again and already planning how to effectively safe my money and be smarter about it. I keep failing and failing but i'm still trying.

I help around the household, food, rent and everything,i've been easying my mother's anxiety since we have some issues with the place we are living on and she's getting old, i was getting ready to tell her to go back to our motherland once i manage to stabilize myself, because i know she's staying for me and my brother, but mainly for me since i am a bigger mess that should know better at this point.

And i want her to be near her parents and stop overworking herself.

I joined a Muay Thai club and i love it, i'm having lots of fun sparing matches. It surprises me how comfortable i am with getting punched in the face i thought i would be more afraid off it.

So lord, WHY DOES THIS SHIT PERSIST?! God i relapsed, due to thinking "damn this would be a terrible moment to relapse" like, what?

And the thing is i have systems to stop this from happening, applications that block everything, so that i may not fall back on bad habits when vulnerable.

But my brain is a wild, sttuborn animal, and will find loopholes around it, so i have to find new stuff to block or new ways to keep myself from falling back again.

Worse thing is i am actually aware while falling into it, i actively shout at myself to stop.

A normal person would have just put down the phone, gone out for a walk to clear up the mind, come back, block whatever loophole my tantrum, throwing toddler of a brain might have come up with. But i don't, these are the things i was actively thinking while shouting myself and completely ignored, it feels like i'm riding a wild animal at times, or like i'm driving a car and a co driver monkey pulls the wheel to the left when im trying to go to the right, and whines and seethes if i dare to go against it's impulses.

It's really annoying, i had actually managed to have things be right for long enough i actually believed i had beaten this one issue.

But damn, why won't it die, i already have enough of different other issues to have to be worrying about this crap again.

Anyway, i doubt anyone reads this, i will probably delete after calming my ass down, and well, i guess i gotta start again, pull myself up and keep going, but look, i am not fond of having to be on guard for this crap forever, at some point i have to be a mature responsible adult that has dealt with his issues, i don't have the excuse of being a young person anymore.

Hi, so I have an 8 x 5.9 inches uncut penis.

And last time I had sex with no condoms it hurt pretty bad due to my foreskin pulling back, it makes me lose my erection due to the pain.

Now I do know that the issue was that I didn't spend too much time on foreplay, so the girl I was with wasn't fully stretched out and I also went with no lube so I was pretty much asking for it.

But this still something I tend to worry about.

Thing is I don't have any issues pulling my foreskin back on different sizes (I'm a grower), and at 6-7 inches semi hard I am able to stretch it fully with no issue.

The problem is when I'm at max size and the head reaches 4.7-5 inches, that's when it's too big for my skin and I can only pull it back at it's middle point (going further would hurt).

I know I can do stretching exercises, but since the issue only appears at max size I have to pretty much jack myself off everytime I have to do anything like that, which gets bothersome, I don't feel like masturbating every single day just to stretch my skin.

I have yet to have an actual sexual experience that I actually feel pleasure from.

But since like I said above, most of my lack of enjoyment came from inexperience and things like that, now that I know much better would still face the same issue?

Could I still enjoy sex without pulling back my skin? I don't feel like I want to go to surgery over this, since I've never had any issue with hygiene or regular health over it.

Something that saddened me about this episode is Marvin giving up completely on surviving, and if the show parallels the comics, his fate will be a Grimm one.

But, damn, if there's someone who deserves less such an end in the show it's him.

He arguably had a worse dealt hand than Butcher with his beef with Supes, Butcher thought his lover was dead (which she was not), MM lost his whole family and the guy who did it is immortal (so far).

He's the only one of the Boys, that, so far, has no wrongful kills.

Butcher is self explanatory, Frenchie has his dark past, Kimiko worked as a serial killer, Hughie killed Translucent out of anger and Annie killed that random civilian.

MM has never done such a thing so far.

Hughie is supposed to be the empathetic character ( which he is), but MM has been managing to work with Supes by appealing to their humanity since season 1.

He managed to get Mesmer to help them by allowing him to see his daughter, he's in good terms with the Legend and he flipped A-Train over to their side!

When Butcher found him in season 1, he was working with troubled youth to reform them!

The worst thing he has ever done, was when he was uncooperative with working with Soldier Boy to take Homelander down, which can be understandable due to his trauma, and punching Todd in front of his daughter (which the guy deserved)

Marvin deserves better, I'm going to be incredibly sad and pissed when and if he dies.