u/Waxycapmushroom

Caption kind of explains it.
I’ve known said person for about 4 days and we are online friends, I introduced them to my gf to play games and they quickly seemed to become attached. We would vent about things in our group chat and he would vent about his abusive ex a lot and talk about her, which I don’t mind because it’s been not very long since they broke up. They seems very attached, they we are very important to them and this and that. To be honest Im not sure if they have BPD or not but ive noticed they exhibit some BPD behaviors and I’ve been around people with it. I could be wrong though and it may just be anxious attachment. I noticed they have mood switch ups and get upset and sad really easily at things that i would consider minor. Besides these small moments things are fun and we are laughing and such, but recently he had an issue I don’t know how to deal with. He made a joke that made my gf slightly uncomfortable and she said it made her uncomfortable, and ever since then he hasn’t wanted to talk to her because he’s scared that she’s going to yell at him. He’s sent so many messages with me and I keep telling him it’s fine and that she’s not mad at all and not the kind of person to yell. But he keeps saying he’s scared and how he feels embarrassed and ashamed and how he doesn’t want to lose us. I really can’t seem to convince him that everything is fine?? He says he just has trauma with girls but I feel like this could be BPD. I don’t know. Tell me what you think. I have a personality disorder too so I understand it can be tricky finding validation.

Caption kind of explains it.

We’ve been together for over half a year now, things have been good, but I can’t get over this one thing. Most of the time I wear modest clothes but sometimes I feel like wearing shorts or something more low cut in the chest. She won’t let me wear shorts or skirts when im not with her, which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me because the times I’ve been harassed I’ve been wearing clothes that literally only show my neck and face. She says it’s about harassment but like I said in the line before it doesn’t make sense. I feel like she’s blaming me.
I dated a woman and felt like I escaped the way men treated me in the past…

TW: suicidal thoughts, overdose, cheating

I am at a complete loss. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I can’t trust anyone. For context, I’m in the mental health facility for attempting to overdose. I have some free time with my gf when she visits and sometimes I get to have my phone (all of this is supervised). I spiraled out of control due to an incident that involved one of my friends doing me a flirty message and my gf and I decided to block them. It made me feel as though I didn’t have any people who actually wanted to be friends.. just wanted to get to me. It’s the same with my gf. I see trans girls and some cis guys liking her posts and I can tell that they want her…it’s the same with me.

My gf has a friend (we will call her j) and she has been friends with her for longer than I’ve been with my gf. She has been with her since beginning of transition. I never had a problem with their relationship, and I’m even friends with J. Keep in mind J has a girlfriend and is in a poly relationship. I was reminiscing about how me and my gf first met, and my gf lets me have her phone and look through things. So I went through her and J’s chat logs to see what she was saying about me when we first started dating.

All nice things of course and I felt really good inside.. until.. I scrolled up more and saw my gf and J flirting before she met me.
I saw my gf sending her dirty memes. My heart dropped immediately. I felt awful. She used to flirt with this friend? I know if I used to flirt with my friend, my gf wouldn’t let me be friends with them anymore. We literally had a conversation about it the other day. What really made me upset was the message that j said that stuck with me.. she talked about grabbing my gf by the boobs and talked about “doing something more” and even “cuddling afterwards” but my gf never responded to that text.

My gf said she never liked j. She was sad too. She’s disabled and has short term memory loss and said she forgot completely about flirting with j and just sent those dirty memes because she was lonely. I started to break down. I said “I know what you are doing to me” and she asked “what?” I said “manipulating me.” It gave me a bit of ptsd to when I would get manipulated in past relationships, but she reassured me that she wasn’t and that she truly forgot. My gf started to cry thinking about it. She told me that immediately when we got in a relationship she set boundaries with j and said we were monogamous.

So here’s where it gets bad. J knows I’m in a mental health facility and my gf is in a vulnerable place alone. We decide to set out some bait. J said that she was going to give my gf money for a bong earlier before all this happened. I messaged as my gf and sent her a dirty meme about sending a picture of her tits. J responded something like “you don’t have to do that girl im only doing it as friends 🫣” so I thought she was rejecting my gf. But just in case I sent “I mean if you really want them..”

That’s when J responded with something like “let’s wait. I want to rub tits together in person.” My heart broke. I kept endorsing her and somehow the flirting went to all three of them making out, my gf, her gf, and j. Both me and my gf feel disgusted, she was crying all night and said she felt objectified. J and her gf ended up both sending my gf money for the bong. On cash app you can say what the money is for and her gf said “for being a slut.”

I don’t blame my gf. Though im sad she forgot about the flirting.. but I understand since she has memory loss. She told me another memory came to her when she was first transitioning and my gf send a picture of her nude breasts to show progress of hrt. It wasn’t meant to be inappropriate, but she said now that she knows she likes her she felt objectified. I feel really jealous that she even saw that.

J is like.. my gfs only close friend so it really hurt the both of us. It still hurts. I guess we aren’t going to be her friend anymore. I even said they could still be friends if it matters anymore but my gf says she doesn’t want to be her friend anymore and she only wants me.

I feel so betrayed. She would endorse my gf cheating on me right after I tried to commit..?

I feel like I have no real friends, like I can’t trust anyone. I just want to hold my breath and die. I know I can’t leave my gf though. She would want to go with me.. but I just want to fall asleep forever.