u/WeirdMuch634

OK. So: I was ghosted last year by a man after he got caught cheating with me apparently. I'm vague on the details, but it sounds like he was found out and that's why he ghosted me. I didn't know about her, if there is one. I just know we went from constant texting and meeting to he's busy and can't make it...then silence. He promptly deleted all social media. I don't know if I was blocked or not, but I have a new number now anyways.

Anyways, I'm on Facebook like a month ago, and going through my people I might know recommendations. Now, normally I just delete most, unless we have a lot of friends in common or the name/face is familiar. Or he's hot lol. But as I was looking, it occurred to me that I was seeing an awful lot of people, mainly guys, from his hometown where he lives, as well as lots of Marines, again, mostly men. My ex is ex marines. So I got curious and started looking at profiles, and a lot either overlap service times, have him in pictures, are the same battalion, or live at the same bases he did. Only a few have a friend in common with me as I'm friends with his ex and one guy he served with. (He was an oops, he looked familiar and I thought we went to school together. So added him) But other than those few, no links to me that I can tell.

So here's my quandary: is ex using friends to orbit me since he can't? Is it because I'm friends with one marine so it's showing me more? Has he been talking about me to buddies and they're curious about me? Or totally random? It's just weird that I'm getting so many, especially the ones with obvious links to him. Also should add; before he deleted his accounts, we weren't friends on them. It was suggested that it's from before, but we were never linked on Facebook. So I don't know if maybe it's from a different platform, like Instagram or TikTok, if someone I follow is the link? I'm genuinely confused.

I'm not asking because I want him back, but because I think this is weird and I'm curious why it's happening. I've heard avoidants who ghost tend to orbit, so I'm trying to figure out if that's the case or not.

OK. So: I was ghosted last year by a man after he got caught cheating with me apparently. I'm vague on the details, but it sounds like he was found out and that's why he ghosted me. I didn't know about her, if there is one. I just know we went from constant texting and meeting to he's busy and can't make it...then silence. He promptly deleted all social media. I don't know if I was blocked or not, but I have a new number now anyways.

Anyways, I'm on Facebook like a month ago, and going through my people I might know recommendations. Now, normally I just delete most, unless we have a lot of friends in common or the name/face is familiar. Or he's hot lol. But as I was looking, it occurred to me that I was seeing an awful lot of people, mainly guys, from his hometown where he lives, as well as lots of Marines, again, mostly men. My ex is ex marines. So I got curious and started looking at profiles, and a lot either overlap service times, have him in pictures, are the same battalion, or live at the same bases he did. Only a few have a friend in common with me as I'm friends with his ex and one guy he served with. (He was an oops, he looked familiar and I thought we went to school together. So added him) But other than those few, no links to me that I can tell.

So here's my quandary: is ex using friends to orbit me since he can't? Is it because I'm friends with one marine so it's showing me more? Has he been talking about me to buddies and they're curious about me? Or totally random? It's just weird that I'm getting so many, especially the ones with obvious links to him. Also should add; before he deleted his accounts, we weren't friends on them. It was suggested that it's from before, but we were never linked on Facebook. So I don't know if maybe it's from a different platform, like Instagram or TikTok, if someone I follow is the link? I'm genuinely confused.

I'm not asking because I want him back, but because I think this is weird and I'm curious why it's happening. I've heard avoidants who ghost tend to orbit, so I'm trying to figure out if that's the case or not. Thanks for reading!

OK. So: I was ghosted last year by a man after he got caught cheating with me apparently. I'm vague on the details, but it sounds like he was found out and that's why he ghosted me. I didn't know about her, if there is one. I just know we went from constant texting and meeting to he's busy and can't make it...then silence. He promptly deleted all social media. I don't know if I was blocked or not, but I have a new number now anyways.

Anyways, I'm on Facebook like a month ago, and going through my people I might know recommendations. Now, normally I just delete most, unless we have a lot of friends in common or the name/face is familiar. Or he's hot lol. But as I was looking, it occurred to me that I was seeing an awful lot of people, mainly guys, from his hometown where he lives, as well as lots of Marines, again, mostly men. My ex is ex marines. So I got curious and started looking at profiles, and a lot either overlap service times, have him in pictures, are the same battalion, or live at the same bases he did. Only a few have a friend in common with me as I'm friends with his ex and one guy he served with. (He was an oops, he looked familiar and I thought we went to school together. So added him) But other than those few, no links to me that I can tell.

So here's my quandary: is ex using friends to orbit me since he can't? Is it because I'm friends with one marine so it's showing me more? Has he been talking about me to buddies and they're curious about me? Or totally random? It's just weird that I'm getting so many, especially the ones with obvious links to him. Also should add; before he deleted his accounts, we weren't friends on them. It was suggested that it's from before, but we were never linked on Facebook. So I don't know if maybe it's from a different platform, like Instagram or TikTok, if someone I follow is the link? I'm genuinely confused.

I'm not asking because I want him back, but because I think this is weird and I'm curious why it's happening. I've heard avoidants who ghost tend to orbit, so I'm trying to figure out if that's the case or not. Thanks for reading!

OK. So: I was ghosted last year by a man after he got caught cheating with me apparently. I'm vague on the details, but it sounds like he was found out and that's why he ghosted me. I didn't know about her, if there is one. I just know we went from constant texting and meeting to he's busy and can't make it...then silence. He promptly deleted all social media. I don't know if I was blocked or not, but I have a new number now anyways.

Anyways, I'm on Facebook like a month ago, and going through my people I might know recommendations. Now, normally I just delete most, unless we have a lot of friends in common or the name/face is familiar. Or he's hot lol. But as I was looking, it occurred to me that I was seeing an awful lot of people, mainly guys, from his hometown where he lives, as well as lots of Marines, again, mostly men. My ex is ex marines. So I got curious and started looking at profiles, and a lot either overlap service times, have him in pictures, are the same battalion, or live at the same bases he did. Only a few have a friend in common with me as I'm friends with his ex and one guy he served with. (He was an oops, he looked familiar and I thought we went to school together. So added him) But other than those few, no links to me that I can tell.

So here's my quandary: is ex using friends to orbit me since he can't? Is it because I'm friends with one marine so it's showing me more? Has he been talking about me to buddies and they're curious about me? Or totally random? It's just weird that I'm getting so many, especially the ones with obvious links to him. Also should add; before he deleted his accounts, we weren't friends on them. It was suggested that it's from before, but we were never linked on Facebook. So I don't know if maybe it's from a different platform, like Instagram or TikTok, if someone I follow is the link? I'm genuinely confused.

I'm not asking because I want him back, but because I think this is weird and I'm curious why it's happening. I've heard avoidants who ghost tend to orbit, so I'm trying to figure out if that's the case or not. Thanks for reading!

I met a man and we started sleeping together, which led to texting at all hours, sometimes for hours. He was funny, fun, easy to talk to, and just easy going. He did change some just before the end; I noticed some inconsistencies, plus he said a few things that I called him on, and he apologized. I got feelings, but he had excuses for why a relationship wasn't possible right then. They seemed logical, so I decided he was worth waiting for. I felt at times like he cared a lot, but then I'd feel like he pulled away. Well, I thought he'd ghosted me so was messaging a friend, who looked into him, found his ex wife, and wrote her. The ex then told his family about me, including the wife I didn't know about. He then ghosted me for real after his wife wrote my friend to ask about me. Now he clearly cheats, and according to his ex is abusive in almost every way one can be. However, I never felt anything but safe with him, in fact he was very patient, gentle, and sweet. I even got him to open up at times. There were only a few times he said something that bothered me, but there was never anything abusive, just rude. And he apologized when I said it hurt. This was last November. I've since discovered that he fits the dismissive avoidant pretty much perfectly. My question is; did I mean anything, and is he going to one day try coming back to me. I want to be prepared for if it's likely. Not to take him back, unless he's changed, but just so I can mentally prepare myself. His ex said he doesn't know how to be alone, which is why he remarried after their divorce. I care a lot about him, and miss him, but I don't want to be the other woman. He isn't likely to change enough to not cheat on me though, is he? Even if they divorced too, and he wanted me, he'd still go and find other women. I should add that he apparently has a history of hooking up with a woman, then ghosting after a while to go back to his wife, then eventually returning, according to a woman who claims to be his ex gf. But will I be different because he got caught? I've wondered if he lost interest because being with me got him in trouble. I am also very different from his usual type. I know some of who his exes are, as well as what his wife is like. All high maintenance (as in lots of makeup, nails done, fake lashes, dyed hair, skinny, and just totally my opposite), and not nice. His ex referred to them all as "bimbos". I don't wear much makeup, I've got curves and some weight, I've never worn fake lashes or nails, nor have I ever dyed my hair. But he told me he was attracted to me. He liked me as I am. So. Am I one day going to hear from him? Any chance he'd change? Or is he done, and never going to become the man he showed me?

My mom refuses to take her cats for wellness exams. I have argued, yelled, calmly stated, etc that it's important. Some back story: her cat 14 years ago had seizures, but I was the only one to see them except once. My grandmother was dying and mom was taking care of her, so had a lot going on while I was at home with said cat. She started having seizures, which I told my mom about and was blown off. Mom finally saw one, it freaked her out, and that was it. No vet visit. My grandmother died Nov. 18. Five days later I found the cat dead, and she had obviously not passed peacefully. To this day I'm ashamed to say a part of me hates her for not listening to me.

Next, with my grandmother gone we inherited her cat. Who about five years ago started having constant diarrhea and vomiting. I once again said she needed to be seen. She ignored me. And then I discovered a huge lump in that cats side. She was finally taken to the vet, examined, and mom was told that it would likely need surgery and a lot more visits. The cat was clearly suffering, so when the vet suggested euthanasia, mom agreed. Both of us were with her as she passed. Neither of those cats ever went to the vet except to be spayed once they came home with mom. She now has a third cat who turned 7 today. She has been spayed and given shots, and then taken to be microchipped. So two vet visits but neither wellness ones. She has icky teeth that will hurt her in time. She has never been examined and is not up to date on shots.

My mother's reason? If something was wrong she'd be able to tell, and taking her to the vet means she could be told the cat is going to die, so she'll basically be waiting for her to pass. Now my mother is diabetic. She gets mammograms, pap smears, and bloodwork done regularly. She has medication for her diabetes in fact I give her her shots. I tried telling her that that baby deserves the same. What if there is something wrong, something fixable? Like cat diabetes. But burying her head in the sand means if there is a problem it won't be noticed until it's too late. Again. But she won't listen to me.

What I need from you all is advice. Should cats get regular checkups? Or am I overreacting? And if I'm in the right, how do I get through to her? As is, she told me if it's that important then I can pay for it. So I'm going to. She isn't my cat technically but I love her more than I can say. And I'd rather be in debt and know she's healthy than have savings and be scared she isn't. I should add my mom makes twice what I do.

So I keep hearing everyone say how much avoidants and ghosters hate kindness. That when we reach out after they've left it's a repellant and I guess we're seen as desperate at that point. What I don't understand though, is so, I've been ghosted twice now by men who mattered. One said my kindness is a lot of what drew him, what he liked about me. And the other liked my soft side too. Both were kind to me too, overall, until they ghosted obviously. So what I don't understand is: if they hate kindness so much, why did they show me kindness and why did they seem to like mine while we were together? Or is it different after they've left, suddenly kindness is a repellant rather than attractant? It just seems to contradict what I'm hearing.