I have cptsd from csa
He’s always saying “NO SLEEP!! Not safe!! HOLD ME ROCK Me!!! How do I make him feel safe? All he does is scream from the second the sun goes to bedtime. My anxiety is through my heart goes crazy I sleep with a nightlight and a stuffed weighted whale shark plush
I’m 31 (ftm) a CSA survivor and I have one baby part in particular (although both baby and 8 year old part that experienced the abuse do this) screams hysterically in utter terror when it’s time for bed or I’m try and sleep I jolt up with my heart rate getting incredibly high 150s and shaking. I don’t know how to help him. They want non stop cuddles and scream while I’m holding them
Specifically, the sound of people whistling I have two birds that whistle constantly they are fine. I just hate when my brother and my mom whistle. It’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. I also hate the sound of my mom (she is so whiny it’s annoying) and stepdad‘s voices and the sound of my mom tapping her nails on EVERYTHING. I have WAY more sensory issues than I do social issues. Anyone else? How do I cope? I already use noise canceling headphones but it’s like I know what is making the sound so it still hurts
Every time I try and close my eyes I jerk back awake terrified I sleep with a nightlight on but the shadows are making me scared (I’m 31)
I’m new to IFS. I’m 31, lvl 1 autistic and have cptsd from CSA when I was 8. I found this part that is around 3, they only appear (to my knowledge) when I’m trying to sleep and can’t due to nightmare (chronic insomnia since age 8, after abuse) I wake up and my heart goes up to 160 (I wear my watch to sleep) and all the part wants to be cuddled sucking his thumb and rocked (which is a safe stim for me only done in private) and screams hysterically if I stop. He ask for Nyx (my weighted whale shark plush, my comfort object). How do I soothe him? I also crave touch in outside of this but I’m simultaneously touch averse (hate light touch, need firm touch). I need help
I’m in another sub and I’m getting a jumped on because I’m asking a simple question to not ask the poster about what caused their trauma. If they wanted to share, they would volunteer that. I don’t understand what’s hard about that. The comment I responded to said they didn’t understand how someone from a stable family could have trauma and where did the trauma came from? I just think that question is wildly inappropriate because even without asking gruesome details just asking someone hey how are you? Traumatized is kind of fucked up. Am I wrong? I wasn’t mean about it. All I simply said was that question is not respectful and they do not owe you that information that’s it and yet people are attacking me for it.
Want advice and support please
I’m an autistic with adhd and OCD (FtM, pre hormones) CSA survivor (assault happened twice at 8 yrs and another at 18, different people, not believed and no therapy until now at 30) and I’m currently in beginning stages of prolonged exposure therapy (similar to EMDR) and I’m noticing myself getting more triggered daily especially when doing something like showering (huge trigger, but usually only around Halloween when my assault happened, this frequency is new, i just emailed my therapist about it yesterday) I wore my Apple Watch so I saw the spikes in real time. I was steady at 92 bpm until I touched the faucet jumped to 109, then I plugged the drain started the water and got it (135-170) for the entire 10 minutes. I wanted to get out when it started but I couldn’t move or speak. Has anyone else experienced this, what can I do to calm?
For context, we have hardwood floors and we have two birds. I wear socks because I hate the feeling in the texture of the wood. If that makes sense cause it’s not real wood it’s like vinyl. And the texture feels gross to me so I wear socks (for the regular socks and fuzzy socks) to walk around the house. According to my mom, my socks were tracking birdseed up the stairs and in the hallway to my room so I’m not allowed to wear socks anymore. 😭
How do I manage the sensory issue without socks?
Like at least if the bot is gonna do that or whatever tell me what comment it was about I guess just kind of weird
I just got the bed yesterday they paired to my phone just fine but when I try and connect them to the app, they don’t show up. I have repaired them four times and nothing. What am I doing wrong? My crusher 2s connect to the app just fine.
For the love of God, I don’t understand what is the obsession with being seen as normal who gives a fuck if you stim as long as you’re not hurting anyone who cares??
As long as you’re not a safety risk to yourself or anyone else who gives a fuck whether what makes you happy is “childish” just live your life don’t be an asshole that’s it. Don’t hurt yourself. Don’t hurt other people. It’s simple if people actually wanna be your friend that’s fantastic if they don’t and they wanna be mean well that’s their loss. But for the love of God, like why is the sub this past like two weeks just a constant drain I’m sorry but it’s true. Trying to find joy in this life is not gonna kill you. What is gonna kill? You is sitting in wallowing and negativity.
That’s gonna kill you. Yeah being autistic is hard, but there are tools out there that can make it a little bit. Easier to manage once you learn those things get a little easier to deal with. But just throwing your hands up and saying I give up I’d rather be dead. It’s not helping anyone you or anyone else.
Sorry, not sorry but it’s true. Someone had to say it. All the negativity is frankly fucking exhausting. for anyone who jumps down my throat saying I like empathy, shut the fuck up. I deal with depression myself I have since I was a kid I live in an accepting environment where they don’t even know I’m autistic because I’m Hispanic into the mental health that doesn’t exist so to anyone who says I don’t have any empathy shut up? I have to mask every day at home to survive and the only relief I get is when I am at school (university) and I am unmasked. I’m on summer break right now which means I’m home and have to mask 24 seven so yeah I get it. I have empathy. I have compassion, but for the love of God if you have the means and the opportunity to go get help and you’re not doing it. You’re only doing yourself a disservice. I work very hard on my mental health every day so that I can myself honestly and authentically when it is safe to do and cope with my feelings when it’s not safe for me to do so.
Now to shift something more positive: because I’m home I have unlimited time to engage in two of my special interests: knitting and reading. I’m currently knitting a blanket for my best friend for her reading nook. And I just started a ebook called The Dead and The Dark by Courtney Gould which is fantastic so far. It’s queer and paranormal, which is two of my other favorite things as I am queer and trans myself and really into paranormal occult things. Anyone else have any fun discoveries of special interests?
I had this dream last night and I don’t understand:
I was in Mexico on a solo trip it was freezing when I got off the bus and I stopped in this woman's house who was selling Mexican hot chocolate and I made a comment that it tastes just like the way my grandma would make it and started crying. The woman sits down next to me and asks if I can hug me. She firmly embraces me and she smells just like my grandma did and start sobbing and panicking she just kept saying "let it out, you are safe, you are okay" with her hand on my chest. I was an adult in the dream but when I drank the hot chocolate felt small again.. (in trauma therapy using prolonged exposure for cptsd, inner child work)
I get it being autistic is hard, but why are there so many posts on here about people who hate it so much that they’d rather be dead. Sure we have challenges that Neurotypical people don’t but there are so many worse things in the world then being autistic. With support and work, you can have a wonderful life. It may look a little different than what society tells us, but your life still has value. I’m autistic and struggle with anxiety, depression, and CPTSD myself, but I do the work in therapy to make sure I can have the life I want to have, being healthy and happy. I still struggle every day with my extreme sensory issues and feeling misunderstood.