u/WittyGarlic8192

About a year ago, I (27F) met a guy (33M) on a marriage app. We got along really well from the start and wanted to get to know each other better. We talked for about a month and occasionally had FaceTime calls. Overall, things seemed to be going great.

However, there was one thing that bothered me. He would always text me very late at night, usually around midnight or even 1 a.m. During the day, he barely texted at all. It made me feel like I was at the bottom of his priority list. When I brought it up, he always said he was very busy.

Even though I often felt lonely, I stayed because I genuinely enjoyed talking to him. We had a great connection whenever we spoke, and I started developing real feelings. He told me he was serious about me, and we had conversations about a future together. He repeatedly said that he genuinely wanted to meet me in person. We lived about four hours apart.

Eventually, we planned a date to finally meet. But two days before the trip, he suddenly sent me a message saying he wanted to end things. He didn’t really give a proper explanation. He mentioned the distance, his workload, the fact that I was in university, and said there was another reason he didn’t want to talk about.

I accepted it and tried to be understanding. But about thirty minutes later, he texted me again saying he regretted it. At that point, I was really confused.

After that, he asked if he could call me. I was hurt, but I agreed. During the call, he said his head was a mess and that he didn’t know what he wanted. He asked me to give him a day to think things through, and I did.

The next day, he neither called nor texted. I didn’t reach out either. Then, the day after that, he sent me a short message and ended things for good.

It’s been almost a year, and I still don’t understand what happened. What do you think this was?

TLDR: Met a guy online, talked for a month, FaceTimed, and even discussed a future together. We planned to meet for the first time, but two days before the date he suddenly ended things. Half an hour later he said he regretted it, called me, asked for a day to think, then disappeared and ended things for good. A year later, I still don’t understand what happened.

EDIT: Also a friend of mine saw him on a different marriage app, not long after he ended things with me. I don‘t get how you can spend your nights talking to someone for a whole month and then act like it was nothing…

About a year ago, I (27F) met a guy (33M) online. We got along really well from the start and wanted to get to know each other better. We talked for about a month and occasionally had FaceTime calls. Overall, things seemed to be going great.

However, there was one thing that bothered me. He would always text me very late at night, usually around midnight or even 1 a.m. During the day, he barely texted at all. It made me feel like I was at the bottom of his priority list. When I brought it up, he always said he was very busy.

Even though I often felt lonely and a bit unimportant, I stayed because I genuinely enjoyed talking to him. We had a great connection whenever we spoke, and I started developing real feelings for him. He told me he was serious about me, and we even had serious conversations about a future together. We talked about what a relationship between us could look like, and he repeatedly said that he genuinely wanted to meet me in person. We lived about four hours apart.

Eventually, we planned a date to finally meet. But two days before the trip, he suddenly sent me a message saying he wanted to end things. He didn’t really give a proper explanation. He mentioned the distance, his workload, the fact that I was still in university, and said there was another reason he didn’t want to talk about.

I accepted it and tried to be understanding. But about thirty minutes later, he texted me again saying he regretted it. At that point, I was completely confused.

After that, he asked if he could call me. I was hurt, but I agreed. During the call, he said his head was a mess and that he didn’t know what he wanted. He asked me to give him a day to think things through, and I did.

The next day, he neither called nor texted. I didn’t reach out either. Then, the day after that, he sent me a short message and ended things for good.

It’s been almost a year, and I still don’t understand what happened. What do you think this was?

TLDR: Met a guy online, talked for a month, FaceTimed, and even discussed a future together. We planned to meet for the first time, but two days before the date he suddenly ended things. Half an hour later he said he regretted it, called me, asked for a day to think, then disappeared and ended things for good. A year later, I still don’t understand what happened.

EDIT: Also a friend of mine saw him on a dating app, not long after he ended things with me. I don‘t get how you can spend your nights talking to someone for a whole month and then act like it was nothing…

Bundan yaklaşık bir sene önce online birisiyle tanıştım. İlk başta gerçekten çok iyi anlaştık ve birbirimizi daha yakından tanımak istedik. Yaklaşık bir ay boyunca konuştuk, ara sıra FaceTime yaptık. Genel olarak her şey güzel gidiyordu.

Ama beni rahatsız eden bir şey vardı: Bana hep çok geç yazıyordu. Genelde gece 12’den sonra, hatta bazen 1 gibi. Gün içinde ise çok az mesaj atıyordu. Sanki hayatındaki en son öncelikmişim gibi hissediyordum. Bunu fark ettiğimde sordum ama sürekli çok yoğun olduğunu söylüyordu.

Açıkçası zaman zaman kendimi yalnız ve değersiz hissetsem de konuştuğumuz zamanlar çok keyifli geçtiği için devam ettim. Ondan gerçekten hoşlanmaya başlamıştım. O da benimle ciddi düşündüğünü, ileride bir ilişki istediğini ve yüz yüze tanışmayı çok istediğini söylüyordu. Aramızda yaklaşık 4 saatlik bir mesafe vardı.

Sonunda buluşmak için bir tarih belirledik. Fakat buluşmadan sadece iki gün önce bana bir mesaj attı ve ayrılmak istediğini söyledi. Doğru dürüst bir açıklama bile yapmadı. Sadece mesafe, iş yoğunluğu, benim hâlâ üniversitede olmam ve söylemek istemediği başka bir sebep olduğunu söyledi.

Ben de bunu olgunlukla karşıladım ve kararına saygı duydum. Ama yaklaşık yarım saat sonra tekrar yazdı ve pişman olduğunu söyledi. Açıkçası o noktada hiçbir şey anlamamıştım.

Daha sonra beni aramak istediğini söyledi. Kırgındım ama yine de kabul ettim. Telefonda kafasının çok karışık olduğunu, ne istediğini bilmediğini anlattı. Bana bir gün düşünmek için süre vermemi istedi. Ben de verdim.

Fakat ertesi gün ne yazdı ne de aradı. Ben de yazmadım. Ondan sonraki gün ise sadece kısa bir mesaj gönderip her şeyi tamamen bitirdi.

Aradan yaklaşık bir yıl geçti ama hâlâ bu olanları anlayabilmiş değilim. Bu sizce neydi? Gerçekten hoşlanıp son anda korkup geri çekilen biri mi, yoksa başından beri emin olmadığı için mi böyle davrandı?

EDIT: Bu arada, herşeyi bitirdikten iki-üç hafta sonra bir arkadaşım bu adamı bir dating uygulamasında görmüş. Gerçekten aklım almıyor, nasıl bir saçmalık peşindeydi.

I’m so grateful for my fiancé, truly the best man I could have ever asked for. I love him from the bottom of my heart. Alhamdulillah for a blessing like this. May Allah bless everyone with a partner who brings them peace and happiness.