u/Working-Trainer-5301

Every beach in oregon is technically free use unless stated otherwise, and I've used that to my advantage. From the Connie Hansen garden to bonfires on the beach, to throwing rope and descaling clifside for better beach access and i know ima get shit for this one but my initials are carved in almost every standalone tree along the coast including the 4 mini islands just outside of Lincoln.(relatively mid climb).

Im 21. And I feel like no matter what i do something always goes wrong. I feel like I've been royaly fucked. Like I feel like i got the shortest stick and cant help but take scissors to it too. I went into the foster system at birth. And got taken away from my mom first, i was put on the list cus my dad was 37 and my mom was 16, my mom was 16 smoking weed, drinking, heroine, meth, the works. So I was born not breathing. And sure im "lucky I didnt get cystic fibrosis like my older brother who's actively trying to kill himself faster literally joined a biker gang and has cut us all off for the last few years of his life, or my younger brother who only has about 80% of his lung capacity" but i cant exist. Genuinely my s9ber existence is hell. Its mental break downs cus my car didnt start. Cus I broke my bowl piece before getting to smoke for the day. I could take a car apart and put it back together get home drop a plate and have a full mental breakdown/panic attack because glass broke near me. But let's get back around to it. My mom's boyfriend decided he was gonna collect my older brother(4) and beat my mom infront of us me at the age of 1( and idk how but i remember things breaking and I remember my brother grabbing me out of my crib and bringing me into the bedroom and hiding in the closet. So I spend a few months in a fosterhome(but I cried so much they couldn't handle me, so the foster system decided to place me with my broke. Alcoholic pedophile father at the age of almost 2. Only to take me away again because my dad started doing drugs again and my mom found out about it and being the drugged she is she kidnapped me. So once again. Im back in the foster system. And for the next few years up to around 7 it was bouncing around foster homes every few months because I wanted to be with my dad or my mom and was relentless about it. All the way up until they told me that my dad was singing over his rights willingly (which i found out a few years ago was because he wanted to keep his other children without scrutiny from dhs. So me and my brother proceeded to go to our last visit to meet with our dad only he didnt show up, he got arrested that night drunk at a bar. His last chance to say goodbye to his children and he got wasted instead. Now the ne t few years after this were the realllly fucked years, see now im getting older and they r struggling to find me foster homes. They split me from my brother and labeled me a danger to other children and from then on refused to put me in homes with kids my age. And thats where one of my most memorable foster homes came in. You see I was with this realllly nice older Mexican lady and her piece of shit abusive husband. You see her husband had sibling who equally hated life and themselves who ALSO did fostercare and lived nearby, which means my fosterparents used them as respite. And they were horrible. Between the 3 homes I was physically abused, mentally tortured demeaned, belittled, and shamed. Were gonna label them. House 1(my foster home) house 2(foster parents brother) house 3(foster parents sister) in 1 the husband would abuse me, he would straight up drop his knee into my chest and make it so I couldn't breathe. He'd hit me, throw me around, and it got to a point where I felt like I had to start fighting back. So id kick him in the balls. Which led to my foster mom trying to console both of us only for my foster dad to hit my foster mom. And then he'd take me to house 2 where I was forced to sit and do nothing. They had six kids, 2 foster and the rest birth. And idk how to explain what this does to a child but ill try to explain what it is. They would spend the whole morning making breakfast they'd make eggs and bacon and they'd have tv on. And then the second the foster kids come out(we weret aloud to u less they let us out.) They would put the kids in the other side of the house dole out all the food and leave the foster kids with one parent and a bowl of cereal and 0 stimulation for my adhd ass. They refused to aknloede any of there children's mental health needs but still punished them for everything. Literally everything. One of their foster kids wet the bed one time and they made all of us from all 3 foster homes come over and sit and watch as he would drag his pissy mattress outside and clean it infront of us all. They would shame me for not being able to read and make fun of my intelligence calling me retarded amd shit. And if it wasn't house 2 it was house 3. House 3 was all mental game. They had had other allegations so I assume they got better at making their kids slaves. They would turn their adult responsibility into our punishment. And they would punish over dumb things to like wetting the bed as an 8 year old with 20 fosterhomes and zero consistency in life. But back to the point. They would let their 6 yes 6 fucking dogs shit for weeks straight and not pick it up and then wait till they had an excuse to punish us amd proceed to make us clean nasty varying from dirt dry to diarrhea wet dog shit just so they could throw a BBQ and not include us cus we were "on punishment". Rhats just the base of it. The easy stuff to talk about. And then came another one. At this point they were struggling to find me a foster home. So they placed me with this older Asian lady and her 18 year old daughter. And lemme tell you. I was not aloud to exist in that home. I wasn't aloud to come out of my room unless she was awake and out of her room. I wasn't aloud to use the bathroom without her permission and supervision so much so to the point that she MADEEEE me wear pull-ups and would lock the bathroom door. If you dont know what its like to be forced to pissyourself in your own house because you have an alarm on your door and couldn't use the bathroom even if you did leave your room. Then your lucky. I wasn't aloud to have toys. At allllll. I couldn't have friends, she actually told me one whem i was supposed to be working 9n a sciemce project with this other girl in my class and she wouldnt let me, she told me no one wants to be friends with me cus im weird. Nothing. My bedroom was pure white and nothing else. And she had this dog. God fucjing damn this fucking dog. She would tell me not to play with him oh hes dangerous(well she was right) she wasn't legally the owner of this dog. She didnt get it registered and approved my dhs. She rescued this dog outside a bar chained up and just told no one about it. She stole the dog. And one morning I came out of my room. Alarm blaring me holding my 8 year old dick dancing around cus I have to piss like a racehorse and I go up to my foster mom's door to knock and wake her up damn the punishment I knew she was gonna give me. And there's the dog. Now a month before hand her dog clawed my cheek open yes claw through mouth hole in my cheek open. And she hides it. No incident report nothing tells me oh you'll be fine. And slaps a bandaid on it. Sure it heals up. But now were back to the moment at hadn. I leaned down to pet the dog and try to make him move. I think I was even trying to pull like a sowing needle or something out of the carpet so he would t step on it. I actually remember that part vividly cus its when he pounced on me(an 8 year old it being a 90lb Doberman pincer and tore half my face off. He got both my eyes reduced one of my eyes vision by 20% gave me astigmatism and 2 hours of plastic surgery and 250. 250 fucking stitches. Wich followed by 2 weeks in the hospital and them releasing me to the custody of my bio aunt who saw the story on the news. And my aunt did not know how to handle me. Decided I was to much and gave me back to dhs 5 mo ths later I was in a respite home for 2 weeks. And I liked the respite home. They had kids with special needs and understood my attachment issues and my adhd and my temper. But dhs wouldn't let them because I was labeled a dangerous child and they didnt want me to hurt their children. So dhs said nope you cant have a home that understands you and proceeds to place me in yet a other fosterhome that didnt give a shit about me and punished me for dumb shit. Got transferred again to a foster home i liked. And they set up visit thru my brother foster parents they were very consdierate of me and honestly i loved them, but these 2 gay guys from maryland came down and managed to convice me and my brother to let them adopt us(by somehow i mean they thru money at us) so they adopted me and my brother together took us to maryland and then 2 weeks later they put me in a phych ward and 2 m9nths after that they got rid of me, literally just gave me back to oregon. But they kept my brother. On the other side of the country. And then they tried to cut my contact with him. They wouldnt let us talk they stopped gicing him my letter, they cut us off completely and then whe. He turned 18 they told him to go fuck himself and let him age out of a group home in florida and then texted me and told me that im a horrible persin and that they regretted every taking both of us. Which is insane considering how fucked my brothers mind is from them trying to "fix him". Anyways they sent me back and i got placed in yet another foster home. They got rid of me a few months later Which led to my first in a while foster home that cared(or so I thought.) All im gonna say is i called my foster mom by her name and i called her mom grandma,and it all ended with me being removed from the home cus my fostermom thru my bucket of Legos at me. And I think in part it got that bad cus my caseworker hadn't seen me in like 8 months(talk about easily forgettable) so he pulled me from the home and left me in a hotel for 3 weeks(its a whole thing rn and very illegal for caseworkers to do) and from their instead of finding me a foster home that would actually work they sent me to a level 4 of 5 group home at 12. And this place was basically child prison reform school. I feel very bad for those kids there now. But I got kicked out 2 weeks later cus a staff member tried to restrain me for not wanting to go inside so I bloodied her arms with my finger nails and she quit. Upon wich they sent me to a group home in Utah a level 15 called red rock canyon school. Wich ended in a full blown riot and swat being called because the staff were beating raping and impregnating children both male and female not 6 months after I left. Amd that place was bad. You can find it all over google rhat how bad it was. Id been ABUSED. everyone on my unit was abused. Whether it was mental or physical it was nonstop. All of our staff were on constant power trips. WE were not aloud to close the bathroom door past hand in the doorway. So essentially anyone could just walk in on you at anytime wether it be showering bathing or just taking a shit. The staff would restrain us but not the way they were supposed to. They'd bend our palms to our wrist and our hands to the back of our necks and call it the goose hold. Wich in reality just made our arms fucking dead for the day because they were clearly taking g their aggression from home out on us. Id been thrown into a cabinet from er well.

Im 21. And I feel like no matter what i do something always goes wrong. I feel like I've been royaly fucked. Like I feel like i got the shortest stick and cant help but take scissors to it too. I went into the foster system at birth. And got taken away from my mom first, i was put on the list cus my dad was 37 and my mom was 16, my mom was 16 smoking weed, drinking, heroine, meth, the works. So I was born not breathing. And sure im "lucky I didnt get cystic fibrosis like my older brother who's actively trying to kill himself faster literally joined a biker gang and has cut us all off for the last few years of his life, or my younger brother who only has about 80% of his lung capacity" but i cant exist. Genuinely my s9ber existence is hell. Its mental break downs cus my car didnt start. Cus I broke my bowl piece before getting to smoke for the day. I could take a car apart and put it back together get home drop a plate and have a full mental breakdown/panic attack because glass broke near me. But let's get back around to it. My mom's boyfriend decided he was gonna collect my older brother(4) and beat my mom infront of us me at the age of 1( and idk how but i remember things breaking and I remember my brother grabbing me out of my crib and bringing me into the bedroom and hiding in the closet. So I spend a few months in a fosterhome(but I cried so much they couldn't handle me, so the foster system decided to place me with my broke. Alcoholic pedophile father at the age of almost 2. Only to take me away again because my dad started doing drugs again and my mom found out about it and being the drugged she is she kidnapped me. So once again. Im back in the foster system. And for the next few years up to around 7 it was bouncing around foster homes every few months because I wanted to be with my dad or my mom and was relentless about it. All the way up until they told me that my dad was singing over his rights willingly (which i found out a few years ago was because he wanted to keep his other children without scrutiny from dhs. So me and my brother proceeded to go to our last visit to meet with our dad only he didnt show up, he got arrested that night drunk at a bar. His last chance to say goodbye to his children and he got wasted instead. Now the ne t few years after this were the realllly fucked years, see now im getting older and they r struggling to find me foster homes. They split me from my brother and labeled me a danger to other children and from then on refused to put me in homes with kids my age. And thats where one of my most memorable foster homes came in. You see I was with this realllly nice older Mexican lady and her piece of shit abusive husband. You see her husband had sibling who equally hated life and themselves who ALSO did fostercare and lived nearby, which means my fosterparents used them as respite. And they were horrible. Between the 3 homes I was physically abused, mentally tortured demeaned, belittled, and shamed. Were gonna label them. House 1(my foster home) house 2(foster parents brother) house 3(foster parents sister) in 1 the husband would abuse me, he would straight up drop his knee into my chest and make it so I couldn't breathe. He'd hit me, throw me around, and it got to a point where I felt like I had to start fighting back. So id kick him in the balls. Which led to my foster mom trying to console both of us only for my foster dad to hit my foster mom. And then he'd take me to house 2 where I was forced to sit and do nothing. They had six kids, 2 foster and the rest birth. And idk how to explain what this does to a child but ill try to explain what it is. They would spend the whole morning making breakfast they'd make eggs and bacon and they'd have tv on. And then the second the foster kids come out(we weret aloud to u less they let us out.) They would put the kids in the other side of the house dole out all the food and leave the foster kids with one parent and a bowl of cereal and 0 stimulation for my adhd ass. They refused to aknloede any of there children's mental health needs but still punished them for everything. Literally everything. One of their foster kids wet the bed one time and they made all of us from all 3 foster homes come over and sit and watch as he would drag his pissy mattress outside and clean it infront of us all. They would shame me for not being able to read and make fun of my intelligence calling me retarded amd shit. And if it wasn't house 2 it was house 3. House 3 was all mental game. They had had other allegations so I assume they got better at making their kids slaves. They would turn their adult responsibility into our punishment. And they would punish over dumb things to like wetting the bed as an 8 year old with 20 fosterhomes and zero consistency in life. But back to the point. They would let their 6 yes 6 fucking dogs shit for weeks straight and not pick it up and then wait till they had an excuse to punish us amd proceed to make us clean nasty varying from dirt dry to diarrhea wet dog shit just so they could throw a BBQ and not include us cus we were "on punishment". Rhats just the base of it. The easy stuff to talk about. And then came another one. At this point they were struggling to find me a foster home. So they placed me with this older Asian lady and her 18 year old daughter. And lemme tell you. I was not aloud to exist in that home. I wasn't aloud to come out of my room unless she was awake and out of her room. I wasn't aloud to use the bathroom without her permission and supervision so much so to the point that she MADEEEE me wear pull-ups and would lock the bathroom door. If you dont know what its like to be forced to pissyourself in your own house because you have an alarm on your door and couldn't use the bathroom even if you did leave your room. Then your lucky. I wasn't aloud to have toys. At allllll. I couldn't have friends, she actually told me one whem i was supposed to be working 9n a sciemce project with this other girl in my class and she wouldnt let me, she told me no one wants to be friends with me cus im weird. Nothing. My bedroom was pure white and nothing else. And she had this dog. God fucjing damn this fucking dog. She would tell me not to play with him oh hes dangerous(well she was right) she wasn't legally the owner of this dog. She didnt get it registered and approved my dhs. She rescued this dog outside a bar chained up and just told no one about it. She stole the dog. And one morning I came out of my room. Alarm blaring me holding my 8 year old dick dancing around cus I have to piss like a racehorse and I go up to my foster mom's door to knock and wake her up damn the punishment I knew she was gonna give me. And there's the dog. Now a month before hand her dog clawed my cheek open yes claw through mouth hole in my cheek open. And she hides it. No incident report nothing tells me oh you'll be fine. And slaps a bandaid on it. Sure it heals up. But now were back to the moment at hadn. I leaned down to pet the dog and try to make him move. I think I was even trying to pull like a sowing needle or something out of the carpet so he would t step on it. I actually remember that part vividly cus its when he pounced on me(an 8 year old it being a 90lb Doberman pincer and tore half my face off. He got both my eyes reduced one of my eyes vision by 20% gave me astigmatism and 2 hours of plastic surgery and 250. 250 fucking stitches. Wich followed by 2 weeks in the hospital and them releasing me to the custody of my bio aunt who saw the story on the news. And my aunt did not know how to handle me. Decided I was to much and gave me back to dhs 5 mo ths later I was in a respite home for 2 weeks. And I liked the respite home. They had kids with special needs and understood my attachment issues and my adhd and my temper. But dhs wouldn't let them because I was labeled a dangerous child and they didnt want me to hurt their children. So dhs said nope you cant have a home that understands you and proceeds to place me in yet a other fosterhome that didnt give a shit about me and punished me for dumb shit. Got transferred again to a foster home i liked. And they set up visit thru my brother foster parents they were very consdierate of me and honestly i loved them, but these 2 gay guys from maryland came down and managed to convice me and my brother to let them adopt us(by somehow i mean they thru money at us) so they adopted me and my brother together took us to maryland and then 2 weeks later they put me in a phych ward and 2 m9nths after that they got rid of me, literally just gave me back to oregon. But they kept my brother. On the other side of the country. And then they tried to cut my contact with him. They wouldnt let us talk they stopped gicing him my letter, they cut us off completely and then whe. He turned 18 they told him to go fuck himself and let him age out of a group home in florida and then texted me and told me that im a horrible persin and that they regretted every taking both of us. Which is insane considering how fucked my brothers mind is from them trying to "fix him". Anyways they sent me back and i got placed in yet another foster home. They got rid of me a few months later Which led to my first in a while foster home that cared(or so I thought.) All im gonna say is i called my foster mom by her name and i called her mom grandma,and it all ended with me being removed from the home cus my fostermom thru my bucket of Legos at me. And I think in part it got that bad cus my caseworker hadn't seen me in like 8 months(talk about easily forgettable) so he pulled me from the home and left me in a hotel for 3 weeks(its a whole thing rn and very illegal for caseworkers to do) and from their instead of finding me a foster home that would actually work they sent me to a level 4 of 5 group home at 12. And this place was basically child prison reform school. I feel very bad for those kids there now. But I got kicked out 2 weeks later cus a staff member tried to restrain me for not wanting to go inside so I bloodied her arms with my finger nails and she quit. Upon wich they sent me to a group home in Utah a level 15 called red rock canyon school. Wich ended in a full blown riot and swat being called because the staff were beating raping and impregnating children both male and female not 6 months after I left. Amd that place was bad. You can find it all over google rhat how bad it was. Id been ABUSED. everyone on my unit was abused. Whether it was mental or physical it was nonstop. All of our staff were on constant power trips. WE were not aloud to close the bathroom door past hand in the doorway. So essentially anyone could just walk in on you at anytime wether it be showering bathing or just taking a shit. The staff would restrain us but not the way they were supposed to. They'd bend our palms to our wrist and our hands to the back of our necks and call it the goose hold. Wich in reality just made our arms fucking dead for the day because they were clearly taking g their aggression from home out on us. Id been thrown into a cabinet from er well.

Im 21. And I feel like no matter what i do something always goes wrong. I feel like I've been royaly fucked. Like I feel like i got the shortest stick and cant help but take scissors to it too. I went into the foster system at birth. And got taken away from my mom first, i was put on the list cus my dad was 37 and my mom was 16, my mom was 16 smoking weed, drinking, heroine, meth, the works. So I was born not breathing. And sure im "lucky I didnt get cystic fibrosis like my older brother who's actively trying to kill himself faster literally joined a biker gang and has cut us all off for the last few years of his life, or my younger brother who only has about 80% of his lung capacity" but i cant exist. Genuinely my s9ber existence is hell. Its mental break downs cus my car didnt start. Cus I broke my bowl piece before getting to smoke for the day. I could take a car apart and put it back together get home drop a plate and have a full mental breakdown/panic attack because glass broke near me. But let's get back around to it. My mom's boyfriend decided he was gonna collect my older brother(4) and beat my mom infront of us me at the age of 1( and idk how but i remember things breaking and I remember my brother grabbing me out of my crib and bringing me into the bedroom and hiding in the closet. So I spend a few months in a fosterhome(but I cried so much they couldn't handle me, so the foster system decided to place me with my broke. Alcoholic pedophile father at the age of almost 2. Only to take me away again because my dad started doing drugs again and my mom found out about it and being the drugged she is she kidnapped me. So once again. Im back in the foster system. And for the next few years up to around 7 it was bouncing around foster homes every few months because I wanted to be with my dad or my mom and was relentless about it. All the way up until they told me that my dad was singing over his rights willingly (which i found out a few years ago was because he wanted to keep his other children without scrutiny from dhs. So me and my brother proceeded to go to our last visit to meet with our dad only he didnt show up, he got arrested that night drunk at a bar. His last chance to say goodbye to his children and he got wasted instead. Now the ne t few years after this were the realllly fucked years, see now im getting older and they r struggling to find me foster homes. They split me from my brother and labeled me a danger to other children and from then on refused to put me in homes with kids my age. And thats where one of my most memorable foster homes came in. You see I was with this realllly nice older Mexican lady and her piece of shit abusive husband. You see her husband had sibling who equally hated life and themselves who ALSO did fostercare and lived nearby, which means my fosterparents used them as respite. And they were horrible. Between the 3 homes I was physically abused, mentally tortured demeaned, belittled, and shamed. Were gonna label them. House 1(my foster home) house 2(foster parents brother) house 3(foster parents sister) in 1 the husband would abuse me, he would straight up drop his knee into my chest and make it so I couldn't breathe. He'd hit me, throw me around, and it got to a point where I felt like I had to start fighting back. So id kick him in the balls. Which led to my foster mom trying to console both of us only for my foster dad to hit my foster mom. And then he'd take me to house 2 where I was forced to sit and do nothing. They had six kids, 2 foster and the rest birth. And idk how to explain what this does to a child but ill try to explain what it is. They would spend the whole morning making breakfast they'd make eggs and bacon and they'd have tv on. And then the second the foster kids come out(we weret aloud to u less they let us out.) They would put the kids in the other side of the house dole out all the food and leave the foster kids with one parent and a bowl of cereal and 0 stimulation for my adhd ass. They refused to aknloede any of there children's mental health needs but still punished them for everything. Literally everything. One of their foster kids wet the bed one time and they made all of us from all 3 foster homes come over and sit and watch as he would drag his pissy mattress outside and clean it infront of us all. They would shame me for not being able to read and make fun of my intelligence calling me retarded amd shit. And if it wasn't house 2 it was house 3. House 3 was all mental game. They had had other allegations so I assume they got better at making their kids slaves. They would turn their adult responsibility into our punishment. And they would punish over dumb things to like wetting the bed as an 8 year old with 20 fosterhomes and zero consistency in life. But back to the point. They would let their 6 yes 6 fucking dogs shit for weeks straight and not pick it up and then wait till they had an excuse to punish us amd proceed to make us clean nasty varying from dirt dry to diarrhea wet dog shit just so they could throw a BBQ and not include us cus we were "on punishment". Rhats just the base of it. The easy stuff to talk about. And then came another one. At this point they were struggling to find me a foster home. So they placed me with this older Asian lady and her 18 year old daughter. And lemme tell you. I was not aloud to exist in that home. I wasn't aloud to come out of my room unless she was awake and out of her room. I wasn't aloud to use the bathroom without her permission and supervision so much so to the point that she MADEEEE me wear pull-ups and would lock the bathroom door. If you dont know what its like to be forced to pissyourself in your own house because you have an alarm on your door and couldn't use the bathroom even if you did leave your room. Then your lucky. I wasn't aloud to have toys. At allllll. I couldn't have friends, she actually told me one whem i was supposed to be working 9n a sciemce project with this other girl in my class and she wouldnt let me, she told me no one wants to be friends with me cus im weird. Nothing. My bedroom was pure white and nothing else. And she had this dog. God fucjing damn this fucking dog. She would tell me not to play with him oh hes dangerous(well she was right) she wasn't legally the owner of this dog. She didnt get it registered and approved my dhs. She rescued this dog outside a bar chained up and just told no one about it. She stole the dog. And one morning I came out of my room. Alarm blaring me holding my 8 year old dick dancing around cus I have to piss like a racehorse and I go up to my foster mom's door to knock and wake her up damn the punishment I knew she was gonna give me. And there's the dog. Now a month before hand her dog clawed my cheek open yes claw through mouth hole in my cheek open. And she hides it. No incident report nothing tells me oh you'll be fine. And slaps a bandaid on it. Sure it heals up. But now were back to the moment at hadn. I leaned down to pet the dog and try to make him move. I think I was even trying to pull like a sowing needle or something out of the carpet so he would t step on it. I actually remember that part vividly cus its when he pounced on me(an 8 year old it being a 90lb Doberman pincer and tore half my face off. He got both my eyes reduced one of my eyes vision by 20% gave me astigmatism and 2 hours of plastic surgery and 250. 250 fucking stitches. Wich followed by 2 weeks in the hospital and them releasing me to the custody of my bio aunt who saw the story on the news. And my aunt did not know how to handle me. Decided I was to much and gave me back to dhs 5 mo ths later I was in a respite home for 2 weeks. And I liked the respite home. They had kids with special needs and understood my attachment issues and my adhd and my temper. But dhs wouldn't let them because I was labeled a dangerous child and they didnt want me to hurt their children. So dhs said nope you cant have a home that understands you and proceeds to place me in yet a other fosterhome that didnt give a shit about me and punished me for dumb shit. Got transferred again to a foster home i liked. And they set up visit thru my brother foster parents they were very consdierate of me and honestly i loved them, but these 2 gay guys from maryland came down and managed to convice me and my brother to let them adopt us(by somehow i mean they thru money at us) so they adopted me and my brother together took us to maryland and then 2 weeks later they put me in a phych ward and 2 m9nths after that they got rid of me, literally just gave me back to oregon. But they kept my brother. On the other side of the country. And then they tried to cut my contact with him. They wouldnt let us talk they stopped gicing him my letter, they cut us off completely and then whe. He turned 18 they told him to go fuck himself and let him age out of a group home in florida and then texted me and told me that im a horrible persin and that they regretted every taking both of us. Which is insane considering how fucked my brothers mind is from them trying to "fix him". Anyways they sent me back and i got placed in yet another foster home. They got rid of me a few months later Which led to my first in a while foster home that cared(or so I thought.) All im gonna say is i called my foster mom by her name and i called her mom grandma,and it all ended with me being removed from the home cus my fostermom thru my bucket of Legos at me. And I think in part it got that bad cus my caseworker hadn't seen me in like 8 months(talk about easily forgettable) so he pulled me from the home and left me in a hotel for 3 weeks(its a whole thing rn and very illegal for caseworkers to do) and from their instead of finding me a foster home that would actually work they sent me to a level 4 of 5 group home at 12. And this place was basically child prison reform school. I feel very bad for those kids there now. But I got kicked out 2 weeks later cus a staff member tried to restrain me for not wanting to go inside so I bloodied her arms with my finger nails and she quit. Upon wich they sent me to a group home in Utah a level 15 called red rock canyon school. Wich ended in a full blown riot and swat being called because the staff were beating raping and impregnating children both male and female not 6 months after I left. Amd that place was bad. You can find it all over google rhat how bad it was. Id been ABUSED. everyone on my unit was abused. Whether it was mental or physical it was nonstop. All of our staff were on constant power trips. WE were not aloud to close the bathroom door past hand in the doorway. So essentially anyone could just walk in on you at anytime wether it be showering bathing or just taking a shit. The staff would restrain us but not the way they were supposed to. They'd bend our palms to our wrist and our hands to the back of our necks and call it the goose hold. Wich in reality just made our arms fucking dead for the day because they were clearly taking g their aggression from home out on us. Id been thrown into a cabinet from across the bedroom by the unit leader in my frist 2 months cus I tried to break up a fight and my should dislocated breaking the cabinet doors. I watched the resident autistic kid get thrown into the ceiling and then thrown onto the ground and had a staff member fucking drive his knee i to the kids back. Like they were abusive. And big. Like these were massive Samoan men. Like that made 75% of the staff. Anyway I know their is a lot more but im starting to cry so I can't really keep going. But I tried to get the general idea and the worst of the worst that I can remember well.