u/Worldly_Guest8817

Hi everyone! Im 28f, work 9-5, Mon-Fri and feel like I live for the weekend and get Sunday scaries every week and therefore have time anxiety about the weekend having to be perfect use of time but in feeling that way, it almost has the opposite effect. I think I've been feeling this for over 8 months now. I stepped up in responsibility at work a few months ago and feel like work mentally takes up 90% of my week and the rest is just stuff I have to do like life admin or squeezing in seeing my partner (who I only get to see at the weekend at the moment as we're living separately while saving for a house deposit, and live too far away to see each other in the week). At the end of a working day, I've got into a bad routine of shower, dinner, bed, scroll for hours until sleeping, because I'm too exhausted to do anything else. I'm also on a weight loss journey, and having lost 4kg in the past 8 weeks, I'm putting pressure on myself to staying on top of that. Just not sure what to do to not waste 5/7 of my life! I used to be so busy, going to gym classes, seeing friends, but life has changed, work is busier and it's just a LOT. :(

I work a 9-5, Mon-Fri and feel like I live for the weekend and get Sunday scaries every week. I feel like work takes up 90% of my week and the rest is just stuff I have to do like life admin or squeezing in seeing my partner (who I only get to see at the weekend at the moment as we're living separately while saving for a house deposit, and live too far away to see each other in the week. At the end of a working day, I've got into a bad routine of shower, dinner, bed, scroll for hours until sleeping, because I'm too exhausted to do anything else. I'm also on a weight loss journey, and having lost 4kg in the past 8 weeks, I'm putting pressure on myself to staying on top of that. Just not sure what to do to not waste 5/7 of my life! :(

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for 4 years and I’m genuinely starting to question whether I’m overreacting or if there’s a real issue with how my time is being treated in this relationship.

We’ve been trying to plan a holiday together, but I feel like I’m the only one actually putting in effort, organising anything, or even making sure things happen.

A couple of nights ago, we were meant to sit down and plan it together. He chose to watch football instead, so it didn’t happen. I ended up spending the evening researching everything myself.

Then today he told me he’d be home by 5pm so we could finally do it. I cleared my evening, didn’t make any other plans, and waited. Hours went by with no update. At 7pm I finally got a call saying he was in the pub and “had no signal", and was headed home and would be free at 8.30pm.

This isn’t even a one-off situation... it’s a pattern.

What’s really starting to bother me is that I feel like I’ve become too available. I’ve basically trained myself to wait around, because I expect plans to him to be late and not follow through on timing. I also feel I end up doing most of the organising and decision-making in general.

I messaged him saying I always follow through on plans or communicate if I can’t, especially if someone is waiting on me, and that I feel like I’m constantly left hanging and carrying the mental load. But I’m now second guessing myself and wondering if I’m just being overly sensitive.

Am I actually being disrespected here, or am I overreacting?

I've cried a years' worth of tears in the past week.

My partner (26m) and me (25f) were due to move into our first home this July - we've been together for 5 years. However, solicitor searches revealed a huge train station (incl. a massive multi floor car park) and 6400 houses being built pretty much directly behind the house in this village. There was note of possible permit parking being enforced because the house is so near that people would dodge the car park fares and park on the road outside of our house. This train station would serve the 6400 houses too.

I brought this up to my partner and said I cannot in my right mind go ahead with the purchase. There was no return for me - it was not going to be the quaint village we originally signed up for.

My partner said he really wants to continue living there and said he feels he's grieving and that he doesn't think we're going to get any better if we pull out, but I stuck to my guns. (We saw other houses in our 6-month search that we liked, but for reasons on the sellers side it didn't go ahead.)

He tells me he can't get past it and I don't know what to do. He said he's not angry at me, he's angry at the situation but I feel guilty that I've forced him out of a dream he wanted because had I not said I want to pull out, he'd be living happily in this house because the things I thought were issues, aren't issues for me. I don't know what to do - he's so upset and I feel so responsible but I need to be happy too.

It doesn't help that he's going through a lot at the moment with his parents divorcing so I've stressed that this is a huge purchase so it has to be right for both of us, and can't be approached with an 'it will do' approach, as a form of escape.

Ultimately, how do I approach this when my other half doesn't want to? He's said we can pull out but just seems unhappy about it - he's said he's conflicted and that I have to love the house too, but he's struggling to get past it.

TLDR: new info arose about house which I wasn't aware of at time of offer, and now I don't want to continue with house purchase but partner does

I've cried a years' worth of tears in the past week.

My partner (26m) and me (25f) were due to move into our first home this July - we've been together for 5 years. However, solicitor searches revealed a huge train station (incl. a massive multi floor car park) and 6400 houses being built pretty much directly behind the house in this village. There was note of possible permit parking being enforced because the house is so near that people would dodge the car park fares and park on the road outside of our house. This train station would serve the 6400 houses too.

I brought this up to my partner and said I cannot in my right mind go ahead with the purchase. There was no return for me - it was not going to be the quaint village we originally signed up for.

My partner said he really wants to continue living there and said he feels he's grieving and that he doesn't think we're going to get any better if we pull out, but I stuck to my guns. (We saw other houses in our 6-month search that we liked, but for reasons on the sellers side it didn't go ahead.)

He tells me he can't get past it and I don't know what to do. He said he's not upset at me, he's upset at the situation but I feel guilty that I've forced him out of a dream he wanted because had I not said I want to pull out, he'd be living happily in this house because the things I thought were issues, aren't issues for me. I don't know what to do - he's so upset and I feel so responsible but I need to be happy too.

It doesn't help that he's going through a lot at the moment with his parents divorcing so I've stressed that this is a huge purchase so it has to be right for both of us, and can't be approached with an 'it will do' approach, as a form of escape.

Ultimately, how do I approach pulling out of this when my other half doesn't want to? We are at a stage where we haven't yet exchanged and have incurred less than £500 in solicitor fees, and an £800 survey.

TLDR: new info arose about house which I wasn't aware of at time of offer, and now I don't want to continue with house purchase but partner does

NOTE: for those mentioning that we are unmarried, we will have a cohabitation agreement and formal deeds (tenants in common) which we are passing through solicitors.

Hi everyone,

I’m 24F (UK) and I wanted to share something I’ve experienced over several years that I think may resonate with others.

For a long time I’ve had ongoing pelvic pain, bloating, and painful/heavy periods. I repeatedly sought medical advice, but was often told things like anxiety, IBS, or that I was 'a young lady, far too young for anything to be wrong with you' (I'm not kidding!), even when I explained they were persistent and affecting my daily life.

In some cases I was advised to focus on stress management, despite not feeling particularly anxious and not having clear IBS patterns. I was told to go on antidepressants but refused because there was no offer of further testing. I also tried going privately at one point but still didn’t get much further clarity or investigation.

I had an appendix rupture last year, which resulted in them finding 2 ovarian cysts in post-op scans. No follow up even a year later though it was in my care plan for gynae follow up. It has taken a long time to be referred for gynaecology only because I begged for an internal/external ultrasound this year, where abnormalities were identified - inflamed ovaries, an abnormally thick womb and 4 large ovarian cysts (2 on each ovary). I’m now waiting on next steps, which has been a difficult and uncertain period, but yet I'm still hearing the echoes of all the previous medical practitioners who have dismissed me and wondering if I'm overreacting. It's ingrained because it's been so long.

I also have a family history of ovarian cancer, which I did mention during consultations, but it didn’t seem to significantly change how my symptoms were initially interpreted.

I’m sharing this not to diagnose anything, but because the pattern of symptoms being attributed to anxiety or IBS before gynaecological causes are considered seems very common from conversations I’ve had with others.

I’m curious if others here have experienced similar dismissal, and whether you think there are still gaps in how chronic pelvic pain is assessed and referred in practice.

Hi everyone,

I’m 24f and I’ve been struggling for a while with:

• Daily pelvic/abdominal pain
• Constant bloating (worse through the day)
• Heavy, painful periods

And a recent ultrasound (which has taken 10 years to get to) has revealed:

• “Thick womb”
• Cysts on both ovaries (4 total, one measuring 5cm)
• Inflamed left ovary

I kept being told it was:

• anxiety (even though I kept saying I wasn't anxious)
• IBS (even though no triggers)
• “normal at my age” "you're a young girl"
• to just try stress management / meditation

Even when I went privately, I was still brushed off (TWICE!) and told to just take liquid probiotics, which did nothing.

I also have a family history of ovarian cancer (my grandmother died in her early 50s), which I mentioned, but it didn’t seem to change anything.

I’ve finally had a gynaecology referral and internal + external ultrasound, but I’m now in that waiting stage and honestly I’m scared because I don’t feel like I’ve been properly listened to until now and fear it may be something serious with repercussions on my fertility. I feel so angry and scared but also relieved that at least something was found to be abnormal and I'm not going crazy. They mentioned potential endo.

Has anyone else been through years of being dismissed before finally getting answers and does this sound like anyone here? Also, WHY is there no pathway between gastro and gynae problems? I'm so worried.

Hi everyone,

I’m 24f and I’ve been struggling for a while with:

• Daily pelvic/abdominal pain
• Constant bloating (worse through the day)
• Heavy, painful periods

And a recent ultrasound (which has taken 10 years to get to) has revealed:

• “Thick womb”
• Cysts on both ovaries (4 total, one measuring 5cm)
• Inflamed left ovary

I kept being told it was:

• anxiety (even though I kept saying I wasn't anxious)
• IBS (even though no triggers)
• “normal at my age” "you're a young girl"
• to just try stress management / meditation

Even when I went privately, I was still brushed off (TWICE!) and told to just take liquid probiotics, which did nothing.

I also have a family history of ovarian cancer (my grandmother died in her early 50s), which I mentioned, but it didn’t seem to change anything.

I’ve finally had a gynaecology referral and internal + external ultrasound, but I’m now in that waiting stage and honestly I’m scared because I don’t feel like I’ve been properly listened to until now and fear it may be something serious with repercussions on my fertility. I feel so angry and scared but also relieved that at least something was found to be abnormal and I'm not going crazy.

Has anyone else been through years of being dismissed before finally getting answers? What did it turn out to be for you, and how did you cope while waiting? Also, WHY is there no pathway between gastro and gynae problems?