Thank GOD my lesbian coworker doesn’t have a crush on me (I am a man)
Meal was 2 soy sauce eggs (eggs from my dads farm, soy sauce poured onto the yolk, end of list) a Big Shirley (so much grenadine) and two tootsie pops, yes I know I eat like a freak
For necessary context, I’m a trans guy who’s still fairly early in my transition. I’ve been on T since last September, so 10 months now. I work at a theme park, and the coworker in question here is a Jamaican exchange student. We both have long term girlfriends
Tessa (the exchange student, not real name) and I became friends literally immediately. She came out as a lesbian in our first conversation, and I got accidentally outed as trans by another coworker. She didn’t really know about being trans, and asked a lot of (respectful) questions. Of course questions like these tend to revolve around intrusive topics like genitals and what not- but I’m an open book and was willing to educate, so I didn’t mind
A few shifts later, I left before her and she jokingly said “you’re leaving?! Without me?! We’re done!! I’m breaking up with you!! Don’t call me, we’re through!!” And I jokingly went along. There was a point where she said that if my girlfriend ever said she was uncomfortable with the joke, she would stop
I talk about my gf A LOT. We’ve been together for nearly 2 years and it is in fact all sunshine and rainbows. I am a notorious wife lover, loyal to a T, zero respect for cheaters and never EVER going to cheat on her. Tessa and her gf do not have the same dynamic. From what she’s told me, there’s a power imbalance with money, work, time, responsibility- Tessa can’t drive and her gf can, and they make up “90% of the time usually, but we fight a lot”. My gf and I are both mentally ill people and have never once had an actual argument. We’ve had long, long discussions, but there hasn’t ever been a time where we didn’t work it out- we are *always* on the same team. Like I said I talk about my gf a lot- but I also tell her everything. I mean *everything*. I write notes about pretty much everything that happens while I’m at work. I infodump a lot, I go out of my way to learn things about her interests and tell her lots of fun facts. She knows pretty much everything happening in my life at all times, so she’s hearing all of the information about Tessa in real time
Important note, I am autistic and have a hard time understanding people’s intentions and certain social cues. I’ve never been able to pick up on flirting, or if someone does or doesn’t take my words at face value
The catalyst was my gf going to the club. I don’t drink, I was scheduled to work, the club is my nightmare. So, she went with a friend while I was at work, no problem! She sent me a picture all ready to go (looking gorgeous as per usual) and I show Tessa and say “look at that, doesn’t she look good? My hot sexy wife” yes I know it’s corny but I love her a lot. Tessa’s immediate reaction was “you’re not worried? She’s going to a gay bar without you, you didn’t call out to go with? You’re not jealous?” No, I wasn’t! And I told her as much, that neither of us would ever cheat, that if someone hits on her I wouldn’t be jealous, that I’m more worried about her being out and about in Ubers and in bars under the influence and getting hurt (I tend to be paranoid about safety). She was surprised I wasn’t at all concerned. Later, I overheard her calling me her work husband to a guest. I piped up immediately and called her my work bestie
She was scheduled to work until 8:30, I was scheduled to 8. She asked me to hang back to walk out with her (the walk out of the park is 15ish minutes) and I agreed, on the condition she ride a roller coaster with me. Tessa is extremely scared of coasters, and I *love* roller coasters. Getting to ride them and be around them all the time is so fun and cool to me. So I picked one of the most chill coasters we have, notorious for being gentle. The ride went fine, she didn’t have a heart attack, but she did hold tight to my arm the entire time, pulling me close and having my hand on her knee. It didn’t feel good, I did not like it. This was when I realized that *something might be going on*
My concern was that we know she’s into masculine women, and since she doesn’t understand being trans, that she saw me as a hypermasculine woman. I told my gf everything, every part I could remember and what I was feeling. I got genuinely nauseous at the idea of my intention being misread, I felt terrible. We made a plan: distance physically and emotionally and tell her that my gf is not comfortable
Yesterday I worked with Tessa again, and I was noticeably acting weird. I tried really hard to be cool, but I was planning on just distancing myself and not allowing anything to get furthered. She figured it out within a few minutes and asked if my girlfriend was uncomfortable with how she talks to me at work. I said yes, and she was completely understanding. She went over every detail with me to assure she isn’t into me, that I’m not her type, that “I can’t even get your pronouns right!”, and all the other reasons she doesn’t have a crush on me. She felt so incredibly guilty that she sent my gf a voice note on my phone apologizing for making her uncomfortable or giving her the idea that there’s anything non platonic happening. That she doesn’t respect cheaters or home wreckers either, how she is very happy with her gf and that there’s no chance for her to pursue me. We went as far as changing the “we’re done! We’re broken up!” Joke to “you’re not invited to my birthday party!”
I feel so much relief, Tessa is a good friend and I’m glad it was a misunderstanding. And, as per usual, my gf and I came out on the other side completely fine- so that’s the story!
Edit: TL;DR my lesbian coworker took things too far and made me and my gf think she had a genuine crush on me, thankfully was a big misunderstanding and everything worked out in the end