r/FIVcats

Hi, all. My spouse and I are struggling with the introduction process for our resident 6-yo male cat (Seiji) and a 2-yo male cat we just adopted (Mochi/"Cheeks") and I'm trying not to lose all hope. Cheeks is the chillest cat in the entire universe and could not be more eager for friendship. He was fostered in a local cat cafe affiliated with a lovely rescue, so he's very used to having other feline pals as well as humans loving on him all the time. He is FIV+ but otherwise healthy and vaccinated, and has our vet's blessing.

We brought Seiji home when he was a kitten during the pandemic, and he lived in relative peace and harmony with our old lady cat until she passed away a few months ago. He looooves attention and has been much more clingy since we lost his sister, so we wanted to get him a pal. We decided on another boycat and we thought we found the perfect companion. Unfortunately, Seiji does not agree so far!

We've been going super slow, trying the Jackson Galaxy "Eat, Play, Love" method — unfortunately, we are stuck somewhere in the Eat/Play phase, and "Love" seems impossible! We started by isolating Cheeks in our home office, doing scent-swapping, then adding swapping spaces. Seiji stopped hissing at us when we smelled like Cheeks pretty early on, and they can now eat meals peacefully on opposite sides of the first floor of our. house, with a bit of a visual barrier in between. But we are stuck at having them in the same room for any length of time when not eating, even when trying to engage them both in fun activities or giving treats. The problem is that Cheeks absolutely wants to be friends, meows desperately at night and often when he's alone in his "room," and will just walk right up to Seiji without a care in the world. Seiji is having none of this and will just start hissing and growling when he gets too close. We try giving him treats and love and attention to distract him, but it's ineffective, so we end up abandoning ship and putting poor Cheeks back in his room. It's been 18 days and we're so discouraged! We just want Cheeks to be able to leave the isolation tank because he's such a social boy and clearly hates it. We try to spend as much time with him as possible, but it's getting hard to do. Nights are the worst, too! Help? Any advice very much appreciated.

ETA: Seiji (resident cat) is FIV-, which is of course part of the reason we're going slow and not just letting them "figure it out," as I've admittedly done in the past with various cats and situations. 😬 Seiji is largely a lover not a fighter, but you never know...

He's dipping again and I think he's burnt 8 lives. Any good thoughts would help.. well.. me. I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my body.

I have a roughly 9–10 month old FIV+ cat. We found him as a tiny kitten in a tree and he tested positive shortly after. Our vet said it could have been passed from his mom, but he did also have a couple wounds on his face when we found him.
Up until recently he’s been a normal, playful kitten. Over the past few weeks he started getting picky with food. He still eats treats, Churus, shredded chicken, and will pick at his regular food, but definitely not like he used to.
Friday I noticed his gums looked very pale, so we took him to the vet and they did a CBC. Monday we got the results and were told he was severely anemic (7) and needed to go to the emergency vet immediately.
The emergency vet discussed a blood transfusion, but said there could be risks/reactions.

From what I understood, they aren’t sure yet whether
his body is destroying his red blood cells, or his bone marrow isn’t producing enough

They sent us home with prednisone and an appetite stimulant.
I guess I’m just looking for advice or guidance from anyone who has dealt with severe anemia in an FIV+ cat. Is there anything else we should be asking about or testing for? I know FIV can complicate things, but I left feeling a little hopeless and like there weren’t many options discussed.

Any advice or experiences would really be appreciated.  

This is my baby Hiyori! She's 8 months old and the sweetest most friendly and social girl. I got her when she was around 5 weeks old from my ex partner's coworker. To me, it's important to know that her parents were both stray cats that had been living on this guys farm. Anyway, today was her spay appointment. I've been horrified for weeks since I've booked it because 2 of my close friends had their cats die due to anesthesia complications related to stress. Around an hour after I had dropped her off, the vet calls me. The call is about 98% accurate to what I'm quoting...
"Hi, this is *Woman I don't know* from *Vet office I brought her to*. Is this *my name*?"
Yea, oh my god is my cat dead? Did something happen with the anesthesia?
"No, but the cat you brought in today has FIV, which is basically AIDS."
Wow, holy shit okay. My cat has AIDS, is she gonna die?
"No, but we needed to call you to let you know he tested positive."
Okay. Fuck well thanks for letting me know. Are you still able to spay her or do I need to come get her?
"We can still spay him, but we need to let you know that less than 1% of the population has FIV so it is incredibly rare. If you decide by the end of his appointment today that you don't want to keep him, we have our own fosters for cats with FIV and it's better than having him euthanized."
I'm sorry, you keep saying him, I dropped off a girl... Do you have the wrong cat? You might be calling me about someone elses pet.
"Did you drop off a cat today or not?"
I did but you're saying him so I just want to make sure this is about Hiyori.
about a minute of dead silence and background noise.
*"*He, She, this is about YOUR cat. The cat that YOU dropped off has AIDS, ma'am. Do you want her or not?"
...What? Do I want her? Yes, you're not keeping my cat I'll be there after the surgery is over to pick her up!
"Well you need to know that the treatment for FIV is incredibly expensive and you'd need to give her shots every day for the rest of her life. We have fosters that care for cats with FIV specifically."
Okay, I'll do anything for her that she needs.
"Do you work full time?"
Yes I do
"So it would be incredibly difficult for you to monitor her health and give her medication. It's in your best interest to surrender her to someone that can provide for her."
I can provide for her just fine. I work overnights so I'm home with her all day, she's never had any issues before and she doesn't even like going outside.
"Okay, well if you decide you can't handle her anymore then you should have her surrendered, it's not right to euthanize her and we don't put cats down here."
I'm not giving her up and I'm not killing her. I will pay for any medication she needs and I will give it to her as much as she needs. I will be there when her surgery is done, thanks.
"Okay good luck, we'll let you know when she wakes up from surgery."
So after the call ends I break down sobbing and call
my mom. My mom is furious and instantly gets to googling... There is about 1.5 to 5% of cats in the states that have FIV, so I have no idea why this woman told me that it's less than 1% and incredibly rare. Secondly, I don't know if she's talking about interferon or what, but even so the "shots every single day" thing as far as I can find only applies to cats that have an illness due to FIV weakening their immune system. I don't know why, but the vet spent that whole phone call trying to persuade me into letting them keep my cat because they believe that I'm incapable? Anyway, her spay went well and she's home! The vet offered no other information about her having FIV besides basically keeping her carrier in a corner away from the other cats and saying "Is that the one with FIV?" when I came to pick her up. She's been eating wet food just fine and has been lounging on my bed. Any insight on what it'll be like caring for her going forward is greatly appreciated :)!!
*EDIT 5/19/2026
I have Hiyori scheduled for a FIV Snap test next week at a different hospital that many of my friends have personally recommended to me! I will make another post about her status and if she actually is FIV+. To keep anyone else safe from going through misinformation and blatant fear mongering, the organization I scheduled her spay with that called me is Kitten Angels in Fulton, New York. They for some reason unknown to me preformed the surgery at Central Veterinary Hospital in Albany, though. The woman who called and had that insanely nasty and unprofessional conversation with me is named Deborah, but according to reviews left by other patients, Kitten Angels has a reputation of giving fake employee names to dodge people calling back with complaints. Thank you all so much for your advice and support for me and my little girl!!

Oi, pessoal. Estamos procurando um lar MUITO responsável e amoroso para o Cheddar 🧀

O Cheddar é um gatinho laranja, macho, adulto (8 anos), extremamente querido e carinhoso. Ele é FIV+ e atualmente está em investigação/tratamento de um quadro gastrointestinal crônico.

Já fizemos:
✔️ ultrassom (normal)
✔️ exames de sangue
✔️ PCR para Tritrichomonas (negativo)
✔️ exames para giárdia (negativos)
✔️ tratamento veterinário contínuo

Recentemente foi identificado parasita intestinal (ancilostomídeo), e ele segue em tratamento com acompanhamento veterinário.

O Cheddar merece um lar com pessoas preparadas para dar continuidade aos cuidados dele, com paciência e muito amor. 💛

Estamos sendo totalmente transparentes porque queremos encontrar alguém consciente e responsável, que realmente queira ajudá-lo.

📍Estamos em AMPARO-SP
📩 Interessados podem me chamar no privado para conversar melhor, enviar exames e explicar toda a rotina dele.

Por favor, compartilhem para ajudar o Cheddar a encontrar uma chance de ter uma vida tranquila e segura

Hello! The tabby one is a girl and has been FIV+ for two years now. She is living very happy and healthy life with her FIV- brother. If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask! I have been to FIV+ rabbit hole many times out of fear at the beginning, and now, most of the time I forget she is has FIV. I do give her L-lysine but not too regularly. She is being fed high quality food (the meat components are known and now some mystery meat). She has her yearly vet check ups. As you can see, she and her bro are on very good terms. They eat, share a litterbox, even play roughly from time to time :) Just wanted to give someone a little bit hope if they are freshly diagnosed. I was very scared at the beginning but we are thriving!

On Thursday, May 14th, 2026, I had to say goodbye to my best friend. I had posted him a few times in this group so I just felt like I needed to post him a final time. Lou got diagnosed with lymphoma in January, and the vet gave him 2-3 months. I had to go out of the country for school and said my goodbyes because I didn’t know if I would see him again. I got home two weeks ago, and I truly believe he was waiting for me to get back. I noticed his lymph nodes were swollen, and he was super lethargic so I took him to the vet, where they found a mass in his stomach. So for all my cat parents here, please listen to your gut, if you feel like something is off please get your baby checked out. We chose not to do chemo as he was 9+ years old, and with his FIV+ diagnosis the vet recommended against it. I’m so thankful I got to spend the last two weeks with him, but I will miss him for the rest of my life. It feels unfair, I didn’t even have him 2 years. But for the year and 10 months I had were some of the best. Give your babies an extra hug for me tonight, and an extra treat for Lou. Thanks to everyone who’s given me advice and support while I had him, yall rock.

The vet suggested euth but I asked/ pleaded to treat symptoms and see how that goes.

We haven't done a full-mouth extraction and I'd like to know other's experience if you've had it done on your cat.

Did it really make that much difference?

I just had to get this out.

Like a lot of other cats, you were born into this world in the spring. We had just moved in after years of the property being empty. Your mother took up residence under our shed and brought you and your two sisters into the world under the shed.

I was the first to see you wondering out, and y’all quickly became my favorite thing. We called your mother Pearl for how sweet she was, but your tabby sister was the complete opposite so we called her Hisser; no matter what we did she was hissing. You and your other sister were both sweet and playful, both of you orange but you were a bright orange and she was muted orange like sand. She was Sandy and you were Cheddar.

Cheddar. In the course of a year, it somehow became just you. Your mother left one day and never came back, I liked to imagine someone took her in and got her fixed and she lived a nice life. Sandy was attacked by a wild dog; she died before we even got the car started. She’s buried in the yard. Hisser left too, but that wasn’t a shock, she hated everything.

You always stayed in the yard though. Meeting us in the morning and at night for feeding. Waiting on the porch when I returned from school so we could play. My little sister and I would pass you through our bedroom window so we could cool you down on warm days. You weren’t allowed inside.

We lived with Poppy and Nana. Nana liked you, and thought you were so funny. But Poppy did not at first. See Poppy and Nana had a lot of animals growing up and then more then they built their lives together. With a lot of pets, comes a lot of pet loss. After mourning my mother’s cat, he ever wanted to lose another pet, so that meant never having another pet.

One day in December, your tail stopped moving. It dragged behind you limp and if I stepped on it, you didn’t holler. Nana said it was broken, and Poppy said to wait for the hair to fall out for it to be sure. I ask for you to go to the vet, that would be my Christmas gift. And Nana listened.

Nana found their old cat kennel, and I got up inside it. We drove 30 minutes to their old vet. I remember the receptionist greeting Nana by name and saying “got you a new one?” The vet had been there only veterinarian for miles when Nana grew up, and I remember getting bored waiting in the room while they caught up. But your tail was broken, you had to have it removed, and Nana got you all your shots and also had you neutered. So we left you overnight for two nights and three days.

This was before dissolvable stitches were a thing, so you had stitches on the outside of your tail and junk to keep you closed. You came with a plastic cone to keep you from biting at them. Although, you somehow managed to pull out four stitches.

We had to keep you inside got two week, and bring you back to the vet so they could remove the stitches. The vet gave you a clean bill of health, and when we got home, I released you into the yard like Poppy said.

“That damn cat isn’t staying in this house.”

But you did stay in the house, because after supper Poppy asked me where you were and I told him you were outside. He went to the door and called you inside. And since then cheddar, you were ours.

You did not stay inside all the time. You loved being outside, especially in the fall when the leaves would fall and you could chase them. You loved climbing the tree and jumping on the roof. Every morning after school drop off was done, you’d go outside. You’d come inside when pick-up started, and then back out when pick-up ended. Then home by supper.

We’ve survived so much cheddar for you also being outside. You’ve gotten in so many fights. Been bitten by at least a dozen garden snakes. Kidney infection. An FIV diagnosis. An ear abscess FROM fighting. The summer Mama took me to move to Florida and I took you with and tried to make you an inside only cat. But you bolted out and I lost you for weeks in Port Richey. You found your way home and I heard you from the other side of the home and nobody else did. After that, I moved right back home with you.

You loved turkey meat from the deli and bringing home stray kittens for her to find homes for. You loved cuddling, and loved watching The Originals with me. You loved my great grandmother, and mourned her with me. You’d sit for hours on her clothes we brought home.

And Poppy was right. He never had to mourn another animal. Because we mourned him instead. And you laid with me when I couldn’t move from bed because I was so depressed. And you laid with me when I contemplated joining Poppy.

Eventually, I graduated and went to college and you couldn’t come. And then I decided to move to the north to see the big cities, and it was cruel to take you to an apartment with no yard, and even worse to take you from Nana. You made Nana get up at a certain time for her pills, and woke her up before she slid off her bed. You’ve pushed her the phone when she fell.

You got old, and lost all of your teeth but still somehow caught mice. You stopped going past the porch and just wanted the sunlight. You stopped jumping up into bed and laps for cuddles. And we knew it was time.

Everyone was going to travel home to be there, and I had a ten house layover so I could be there. But you were too tired, and too old. And when Nana let you out for your daily rest in the afternoon, you never returned home.

I do not know if we will find your body Cheddar, and be able to lay it by your sister and the too sick kitten you brought us in 2018.

But I do know that Poppy greeted you on the other side.

Sixteen years for a FIV+ outside cat. What a wild ride it was Cheddar. I will always hold you in my heart, and be deeply regretful that I was not there in your last moments.

Ed Morris got his first dental surgery since we got him and had to have 5 teeth removed (4 molars + 1 canine). He is in a lot of pain but is eating well and is very social still. He is on pain meds but he still is grimicing and having trouble cleaning himself. He has been drooling and bleeding some, but I sent the vet pictures and they said he is okay as long as it doesn't get worse. Any tips for keeping him comfortable in recovery?

My family and I are going on a road trip in a month. I need a sitter to come and feed my positive girl and my negative girl. My mom and sister are suggesting a family friend can watch them at their house but I'm concerned about my girl being stressed more. Even with vet visits I give Gabapentin two hours prior to the appointment and I'd rather someone come and just feed them from my house.

My girls, Tammy (left, positive) and Oreo (negative)

EDIT: NEXT MONTH IM GOING ON A TWO DAY ROAD TRIP