u/ZinziZotas

Basically, I come from a conservative family. I've been trying to deny the fact I'm trans since I found out what "trans" was back in college after moving out of my small town (2008). But even in my small town, my friends always laughed and said I was a "gay guy in a girl's body" due to me hating my breasts, my butt and all that, but still being attracted to men.

Fast-forward to a few years ago and I started to honestly question if I was a trans man. After watching a certain movie, it made me accept the truth and, moreover, accept myself. I was TERRIFIED my living family would hate me.

Well, earlier today, my older brother was talking about how he met someone who transitioned at his high school reunion and how he was happy for them. At that, I felt safe enough to tell him about what was going on with me.

His response, "I figured that out 10 years ago."

...HE FIGURED IT OUT AND ACCEPTED IT BEFORE I DID.

My heart was beating so fast, but having my conservative brother just be like, "Well...duh," when I told him had me crying out of disbelief and relief. We started laughing about it.

I don't have many friends (by that I mean I have one), and the only living family I have is my brother and mother. Can't tell my mother, but having my brother accept me just makes me so happy! I wanted to share because this made me smile and laugh, and I wanted to share it with someone!

Long story short, I've been in conflict since high school. My friends used to say I was a "gay guy in a girl's body." When I hit college, thoughts kept entering my head, though I kept pushing down, trying to say there was something else. I'm ace, I have body dysmorphia, etc.

Well, last year, I started doing more research on trans identities. My family is right-wing, mainly my mother. When this film dropped and I watched it, it was like a veil was lifted and understanding just slammed down on me.

I'd been denying it for so long, but my friends' "jokes" were right. I 100% am a gay man in the body of a woman. I've had all my socials as "male" for years, trying to claim it was to keep people from finding me. In reality, I want to be perceived as a man.

I owe so much to the the writers and actors in this movie. I wish I could meet them and thank them, and shake their hands.

I was at No. 1 after playing for hours. I closed out for about an hour and when I logged back in, the even wasn't showing up. I closed out and reopened, only to find out everything had reset. Anyone else have this issue? I was trying so hard for the Dawn hair. 😭😭

It came damaged (slightly bent in the corners), but it's not like I'm ever gonna sell it. Time to break out my old record player! ...that sits in my living room because I'm old.

Yuna: "Like what?"

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Beclam: "Memories."

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That conversation hit hard. I lost my older brother in 2015. Had it not been for him, I'd've never gotten into gaming or Final Fantasy.

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Shortly after I lost him, several of his friends, many who I had never even met, started contacting me. They wanted to know more about the friend they lost. As I talked to them, not only did they learn about him from my perspective, I learned more about him from their perspective.

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Final Fantasy, as a series, has such a strong hold on my heart, because it was when me and my brother bonded. Even when we fought as kids, we loved Final Fantasy and Silent Hill. To this day, I still play these games and remember being that "annoying little sister" who would sneak into her big brother's room to play these games on his PlayStation.

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Ya know, with today's political climate, FFX-2 hits hard. 😭

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It's been over 20 years, and Gippal is still my favorite character in FFX-2.

He's the best gaming partner.

My laptop runs on Windows XP and I installed Office 2007 to obtain Microsoft Word. Every time I open the program, this notification pops up and I have to click "ok" several times to remove it. While using the program, it will randomly pop back up. I followed the directions to enable the Macros, but I still get these notifications.

When I first open Microsoft Word, it prompts me to activate the software, but I believe it no longer works, because when I click to activate over the internet, it acts like it's loading, then doesn't do anything.

Am I just going to have to deal with these popping up due to the software being older, or is there something I'm missing?

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To tell you how long I've been on the SoRiku train, this was from 2005. I was 15. I had just started playing the game and when I saw Maleficent talking to Riku, I remember thinking, "Ah. Riku's just jealous he doesn't have Sora's attention." And tah-dah! A ship was born in my brain!

Please excuse the watermark. It's from my old DeviantArt, which I have long lost the password to. The source is me. I still have the original in a folder, along with all the other fanart I drew in high school for other games/shows/movies.

After reading this entry, now I look at them like police K9s! I don't wanna hurt a big ol' puppo for doing their job! 😭

FFXII, you're my favorite game in the franchise. Stop making me feel bad for the enemies I have to slaughter (looking at you, Trickster). 😭😭