u/_bambi0713

I (21) am not sure if this place is a place for me. I'm not an Ex-christian but I genuinely feel so in between it T~T. Especially right now?

Honestly I Learnt that obviously it's very healthy to get to know your Body well. But why do I feel such Religious Guilt whenever I please myself????

Because even THAT is considered a Sin and its honestly so silly to me cuz...????? Why?????

Isn't it good to know your Body?? I just get so annoyed at hearing it's Lustful and horrible to want to touch yourself like what. WHY.

Cuz I also follow alot of Healthyhooha women, and I've learnt alot about my Body, About what Healthy...that...looks like. What compatibility is. I've learnt alot about my body too.

But then every once in awhile I feel such Religious Guilt whenever I feel to stressed and decide I need a little alone time to unstress. Why does it feel to me as if it's another 'trying to control my body' situation.

Also I'm sorry if This is not the Right Sub T~T. I'm lit so close tho to maybe not entering the church fully.

I(21F) Skipped mass and now I feel HORRIBLE. T~T.

It's just that Life has been so draining these past weeks. Home alone with a 1 and 3 year old for 10 days (my brothers.) Then as my parents returned I thought I'd get a break before school starts again. But I haven't. We're in the middle of Moving and that too has given me so much stress. School has given me so much stress. Then Intern at a Daycare every Thur-fri from 9am till 6pm....

I still have so many stuff from school I'm supposed to finish by next MONTH because it's already the end of the schoolyear next month. There's an exam I was supposed to make this schoolyear but was unable too, I think I'll do it next year then. (I have too..next year is my Last year...full of Exams.)

Next year I'm interning from wed to Fri, I work weekends as dishwasher at an restaurant. And today I gotta work from 6pm till 11pm.

I sleep with my 1yo brother since my room is completely packed away now. Due to babysitting I hadn't worked the past 4 Weeks, nor intern. So I had no Income. I now have to survive on €10 this month untill the last week so I can get paid-

I just feel so mentally drained. I genuinely just want to give up but I know that's not what I should do. But this morning when I woke up...I mentally just couldn't.

So I Skipped mass. But honestly now I regret it so bad T~T I feel horrible. Like I fell into a deep dark place of Sin. I've unfortunately been dealing with Lust its horrible, but I've managed to throw away everything that made me lust. So I thought It'd get better, but now I just feel so drained from this day T~T I don't even want to get to work, nor school the next day, nor Intern on Thursday & Friday...(I Pray to be an sahm someday..and Wife. The 10 days with my brothers were genuinely nice, ND I love children)

Going to Mass is literally the highlight of my week...seeing my churchfriends...praying..I was so happy to go to because a Male I kinda like from church had been sick, and he's back now so I was happy to see him.

I feel like my faith just keeps tumbling whenever I don't go to Mass and Now I feel horrible T~T

Especially since I wanted to make a prayer corner in my room so bad, but apparently I don't have the space for it...so I can't.

I already know this week is going to suck T~T. But atleast tomorrow I can go to Daily Mass at 9am.

I just hope The Lord forgives me :/

I'm in the middle of Moving and honestly think I want a hamster once I'm in my new house??

I've had an hamster before. Her name was Atlas, and she sadly passed away after 3 years of living with me. I loved her, but she was a little diva lol.

But since then I hadn't been able to take care of any other hamster. Especially since The Cage I had Atlas in was to small (I was like 15 so I didn't really know much about Hamster care). But Now that I'm 21...

I really want one.

But is it weird that I don't really want to touch the little one??? Unless the little Ham actually wants too ofcourse. Atlas didn't like it and had a few times of biting me so I just let her be, and made sure she had enough enrichment in her enclosure.

But as of now ?? I don't know?? Would that be weird/unfair for the hamster????

I ofcourse want to Build those enclosures I see video's off that are Huge, with Many different stuff for enrichments, Deep bedding for burrowing & making tunnels, The Top being covered in Hides / trunks etc so she can just life her live. And scavenge for food instead of getting it in a bowl (I'd ofcourse offer a bowl for if she needs it.). But is it weird I just want to build it and just watch her live her life ? (I'm not English speaking im sorry...how do you even write it??? I never understood the differences between life / live).

Be honest. Cuz as soon as I hear it's unfair for the Hamster I won't do it.

Ofcourse I'd love to interact with the Hamster though. I'm not going to like...completely ignore it.

I (21F) genuinely LOVE swimming.

I love being in the water. I love Diving under in pools, love Swimming in the sea. I genuinely LOVE being in the water. I used to WANT TO be a mermaid. I now write merfolk stories...

I'm honestly thinking of buying a subscription at my local Pool to just go swimming. But not everyone wants to always go with me. Would it be socially acceptable to just go Myself??????

How? How can I? Because I'm socially kinda...awkward. and I'm scared I'll be so embarassed to just be alone. How can I just be at the pool Alone???

I (21F/162cm) have been loosing weight and I'm really happy about it. Started at 89kg, dropped to 77kg. But stopped a whole year, gained like 3kg back. But Since January I've locked in again and Now I'm back at 78.9kg which I'm very happy about.

I was just doing some online shopping and bought a few bras since I have no ideas where my other ones have gone T~T but it gave me a concern.....

My 🍒 shrinking?????????? They're definitely on the Not Larger side rn, So I'd be glad if they got a little smaller. Since that could also result in me being able to buy cuter bras (I love cute stuff...like wearing those makes me feel pretty. Like nightgowns??? Tops & dresses!? I have a problem Lmao.). But now I'm scared they'll just LEAVE!?!?!?!

I've seen so many tiktoks of girls saying their 🍒 just disappeared after loosing weight....I don't want THAT. How can I stop it? Even if it's just a little???

Would it work if I did less Chest?????

Or eat protein and do MORE chest??????

I'm so scared of Pain. I don't want any 🍒 Jobs done T~T

I Use Nair Cream to shave my Armpits & 🦁. But just bought an electric Razor and it's too arrive within a few days.

But honestly can't I just continue to use the Nair Cream on my Armpits & 😺 every 4-5 weeks to keep the Hairs away? It's always the easiest and quickest for me. And I've had times with Razors in the past where It made me get Bumps (That'd acc open and bleed and stick to my Underweat and hurt SO BAD when it gets ripped when I lower my underwear.) That'd actually hurt like when I sit etc. It's always on the same spot. And it ALWAYS happens when I shave. Never happened when I used the Nair Cream.

I'd love to just shave My body and use the cream for Armpits & Ms.Kitty. BUT I get if it's not the best Idea T~T I'll just have to figure an other routine then

Honestly I'm quite thick. So The Itty bitty bottles of Body oil finishes QUICK😭😭.

I also don't really like Lotion/cream since To me they're so sticky. I had bought a body oil in etos and I LOVE it. But whenever I lather myself it finishes so quickly. In like 2 weeks.

Am I able to just use like...Olive oil / coconut oil or something ? :3 so I can just buy it in the supermarket or something. Lol I'm sorry it's such a stupid question.

Also I heard on tiktok that putting lotion and then Oil will hydrate your skin better (I have dry skin I NEED something to work. The cocoa butter doesn't work for me.), but does anyone know more about that?

Honestly I(21F) want to keep it short. I've been converting to Catholicism since last year January. I really Love it, the faith, My community at church.

But there are .... a few things I just... one of them is that dating is so so so so so so so hard. Cuz everyone tells me to "trust in god" and "God's timing is best timing" and I do my best to have faith and believe. But it's so incredibly hard????

I've never had an romantic relationship before, nobody ever looked at me. I'm almost 22 and had never had a Boyfriend before, someone that Loved me. But so many people around me keep getting Love interests?????

I keep hearing I should grow first, grow closer to God, or change things of myself. Or this is my waiting season to prepare.

But I've literally cried to God before because I felt so unlovable. Literally cried and asked to please atleast have an romantic interest. I've bought books in hope to Deepen myself more in how to be a christian-woman and how to be a Woman in general (They're not all Christian, I have one about being an 'high-value woman' literally just girlhood.) I try to learn how to cook, clean, be kind.

But I just feel like I just don't get HEARD.

And if I do try to take it into my own hands and search.....

I don't know but I just get so icky with most Catholic Men. They seem to all just dislike that I'm pro-choice AND pro-life, even if I literally Explain that I just don't like people telling WOMEN what to do because of 'church teachings'. That Just Church support isn't always ENOUGH. That bringing a Baby into a world with parents unable to care for them, addict, abusive relationships, or even SA victims is Unfair. They all just go back to how Church teaches this church teaches that.

Why can't they just look away from that and SEE how Horrible and Mean it is to force pregnancy on ANYONE?

I matched with a guy and he was 'concerned for my ideas' and I explained. And told him he doesn't have to be concerned for me. We was 'trying to be sympathic' (what he said in his own words.) When I explained exactly why I'm pro-choice.

Then he proceeded to unmatch me.

But so so so so many of these Catholic men just do it. And it just pisses me off.

How will I ever marry if I'm supposed to marry in the church so I'm not unequally Yoked, but all these men just...think differently.

I'm just so annoyed. I'm not Ex-catholic at all...I'm converting. But I feel like If I even put this in the Catholic reddit I'm in nobody would even understand where I'm coming from.

This is the exact reason why I had called myself an Atheist from ages 14 - 21. Before I returned to the Catholic Church from protestantism.

I (21F) want to take more care of my body than first. I never really cared about Body hair, but I'm entering my 'spoiling' Era. I do Love to Shave, and feel smooth and clean. But honestly since it's so...complicated I never know what to do thus gave up.

Especially since I have Strawberry Legs. And my...pubic space has hyperpygmentation from bumps or??? Whatever ingrown hair I get. Everytime I used to shave I'd get this Bump that'd hurt, grow, bleed, then be gone again.

I found that it doesn't happen when I use the Nair Cream, but last time I did it my lips acc burned so bad and felt so raw I don't want to use it anymore.

I am thinking about going on monthly Waxing trips. But before I give out...all that money. I want to see first if I'm able to build a Routine for myself?

Does anyone know any good routine to Shave not only my arms, legs, Belly etc. But also my armpits and pubic space? Especially there. Since my Bikini line grows so...healthily. but I'd like to Trim Miss girl down a little if not all (I like the bald look bur also like the little blanket look).

Does anyone have any good routines for both? So I can write them in my Notes app to try soon. Like exfoliate First(literally NEVER got taught how to shave)...etc. should I get an Electric trimmer? My friend said it works good for her, and I've seen a few good tiktok videos too

And literally HOW do I get rid of the Strawberry look T\~T

I (21F) want to take more care of my body than first. I never really cared about Body hair, but I'm entering my 'spoiling' Era. I do Love to Shave, and feel smooth and clean. But honestly since it's so...complicated I never know what to do thus gave up. (And cuz I've just been too lazy to upkeep it.)

Especially since I have Strawberry Legs. And my...pubic space has hyperpygmentation from bumps or??? Whatever ingrown hair I get. Everytime I used to shave I'd get this Bump that'd hurt, grow, bleed, then be gone again.

I found that it doesn't happen when I use the Nair Cream, but last time I did it my lips acc burned so bad and felt so raw I don't want to use it anymore.

I am thinking about going on monthly Waxing trips. But before I give out...all that money. I want to see first if I'm able to build a Routine for myself?

Does anyone know any good routine to Shave not only my arms, legs, Belly etc. But also my armpits and pubic space? Especially there. Since my Bikini line grows so...healthily. but I'd like to Trim Miss girl down a little if not all (I like the bald look bur also like the little blanket look).

Does anyone have any good routines for both? So I can write them in my Notes app to try soon. Like exfoliate First(literally NEVER got taught how to shave)...etc. should I get an Electric trimmer? My friend said it works good for her, and I've seen a few good tiktok videos too

And literally HOW do I get rid of the Strawberry look T\~T

Can someone help me (21F) Find some books to read?????

I want to get more physical books! Since I have a bunch on Kindle now, but would like to get new ones now.

I recently finished:

Bride by Ali Hazelwood

It was AMAZING. I LOVVEEEEEED it. I'd love to get more Recommendations. I love reading Romance/Arranged marriage/ Fantasy/ abo / Royalty books. Especially human x some type of creature, or something.

I don't like Series very much. My attention span is too short for that (Though I did read the Vampire Royals 3 book series. I like books I can read in 1 time and finish at once much better.) I also don't like too much betrayal etc. Just want sweet romance and some drama.

Pls drop some names so I can make a list and check them out ☺️