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Thinking on it, one dedicated to the theme of this sub might be nice! While I can vibe in just about any space that’s chill, one for more committed lifestyles & relationships would be lovely too!

I’m someone who’s always been a bit of an odd ball out in serious spaces. Most soulbonding servers that lean plural focus on the practice and experience, not getting to discuss the day to day relationship things. Most ficto/riako/gachikoi spaces have claimlists, I never paired well with those. And, most importantly, I’m someone with a number of soulbonds, which is completely normal in plural-soulbond spaces! But most ficto-esque spaces assume a number of people = a yume list, or you cannot truly care for them (which, I can go on a whole rant on amatonormativity and people applying these standards to others’ relationships, but, not the focus haha). They’re all real separate people and real relationships we hold, the exact same as having a number of friends ;w;. To which, a serious focus server to be welcome in sounds lovely. And I’m sure it’d be lovely for others too and for more direct chatting and discussion!

With that ramble out the way, thoughts? :0

Hello hello! Are you a sharer looking for a sharing-friendly server? An 18+ space?

We invite you to Heart x Soul! Link on my acc! ^^

We’re an 18+ sharers-only server aimed at selfshippers, fictos, riakos/gachikois, soulbonders, plural folks, and anyone who really loves their characters or wants to learn more! We’re a chill lil’ space for people to discuss their experiences together, hang, and find connection! In an open environment where people love to meet others with the same f/o’s and gush together! Whether it’s someone’s irl serious relationship, or casual for fun, we welcome everyone judgement-free with open arms and get along! :D

Honestly I’ve probably blocked everyone who actually needs to hear this from that toxic sub lol. But even if I’m preaching to the choir, I wanted to just ramble slightly. I’ve noticed some of them post here, after all.

Soulbonding is not a sign of yumeshipping validity. Soulbonding does not make one’s love more serious or real or better. Soulbonding does not mean everyone else is “fake”. No one has to feel comfortable or interact with stereo-soulbonders (those who bond with their own connections of the same character, aka “doubles”, though doubles is not my favored term), but it sucks stumbling across these posts that treat soulbonding as a “gotcha” while invalidating everyone else. Invalidation is not cool. Fake-claiming is not cool. There is not one sole version of someone to soulbond. And it just sucks seeing soulbonding used as this sort of badge of honor by people being toxic and harassing and putting down others. Everyone loves and cares in their own way. Soulbonding is a wonderful, beautiful connection!

It’s not a competition or comparison. Monogamous people and those who engage in ethical non-monogamy are all mega cool. Casual or deeply committed are both cool, it does not determine how “worthy” someone is to be with their bond. And bonding in general is not proof of seriousness or inherently indicative of ur type of relationship/label. It’s merely a connection, albeit a very cool one :3. Soulbond on, everyone is valid! Also uh… stay safe and block those folks,,, jeez ;w;

I figure it might not only be me, but are there others who happen to not favor the word “double”? Sometimes I use it out of ease or popularity, but it always left a gross taste in my mouth. The word ‘double’ somewhat implies there’s A: an original (especially if worded as “my double”), and B: just feels like a strangely dehumanizing term reducing someone to that word. Along with the concept of when people go so far as to meanly say ‘I hate my doubles’ as if the only notable and aspect to their existence and what makes them worth hating on is selfshipping with the same character. All they are is ‘a double’ and not like… an entire human being. It’s why sometimes I’ll even choose the lengthier term of “others who like the same character” and feel even worse about the word ‘dupe’ (even if short for duplicate, I imagine those tiktok trends of people finding dupes which are lesser inexpensive versions of an expensive product.)

I guess I’m just talking into the void here. I wish there was a better word that felt inherently less demeaning to me. Hell if it’s a single character I can even say something along the line of ‘[other] X lovers’. Ultimately I know the shorthand for ‘others who selfship with the same character’ is now doubles, but I wish there was another term. Anyone else? Lol.

If you saw this elsewhere… that is also me haha.

Sorry, I like going against the grain and that’s a big title LOL. By this, I don’t mean the practice of soulbonding is unserious, no. Or that they aren’t real connections. What I mean is soulbonding is not some thing you need to prep extensively for. Soulbonding does not inherently mean you plan to share a life, a body, or anything with them. Because soulbonding is only one thing — a connection. And you can have any relationship with this connection, from emotionally close to an acquaintance you see once in a while. Bodily present or no interest in the body/your life at all! The cool thing about soulbonding is it tends to allow for relationships you genuinely might find hard to hold up in this world — complicated ones, messy ones, ones you can’t easily label to people but are invaluable and unique. I have various relationships with those I’m connected to.

Some are deeply, truly close to my heart. I couldn’t imagine ever being without them. Others are my ride or die even if we talk less often and I still trust them with everything. Some I’m just befriending and feels so comfortable, safe, and happy around them, just like my casual irl buddies! Some are a mentor figure, some are complicated, and some I see many times a week while others are more sporadic, spur of the moment. Connecting for me does mean I feel a deep sense of care, and this care creates different, varying and valid relationships between all of us. After all, different folks exist to have different relationships with, not all be the same! And you know? Some I connected simply by reaching out, no pressure, and going “You’re cool. This is what soulbonding is. Wanna try it and be my friend?”

Sure, you can ask for permanent residents. People to leave everything behind and join you. But you can also want nothing of the sort (see; day trippers and telephone connections) — or they want nothing of the sort. Mine never had any interest in living my life or in my body, even when I went in expecting it. When I soulbond casually, it is low stakes. We reach out and talk sometimes. Sometimes we even get much closer! I’ve also soulbonded unintentionally with an immediate, serious relationship and strong feelings. I believe my own feelings and hopes/desires make me connect to someone who shares those feelings. After all, I tried to hold back out of respect, yet they seemed to like me a great deal similarly anyway. (Originally, I even tried to convince myself I must be making it up and need to stop… even though none of it I expected or was doing intentionally. I now learned to not meanly doubt them, haha.)

This isn’t me saying it’s bad to approach it serious. But the concept to me that it will inevitably be is untrue, it can be low stakes. Likewise, if you do want to go in wanting a serious relationship, that’s fine! Because as long as both parties agree, that’s all that matters! I don’t believe in the concept that any approach or desire is bad. The same way hookups are fine if both parties want and enjoy it, approaching soulbonding for casual or serious relationships are fine! (Yes, I include hookups in there. I know, scandalous.) You have the power to say no, they do too.

Anyway, I think this approach is really freeing. I have some people I’m invariably linked to and devoted to for life. It’s entirely because of how they are as people, soulbonded or not. And I have some I chat with maybe a few times a month just to catch up and hang out. I love my friends and I love my partners I want to be with forever.

The one linking factor between all my soulbonds is I care a whole lot about them and want to be connected! And as long as they do too, well, isn’t that the fun and beauty of soulbonding? I don’t want people to feel limited by ideas of exclusivity, that they must approach with the expectation of a type of soulbond or prepare for the worst, or that they cannot want a fun, low-stakes mutual relationship vs. something more committed. You can connect a whole bunch for no other reason than you’re a social butterfly! And I’d miss out on making so many amazing connections if I never decided to start soulbonding just for the fun of meeting new people! (Likewise, if you’re a solo one person only bonder, that’s awesome and valid too! This is just to paint the picture that soulbonding can encompass so much, and how wonderful it is!)