u/annagenc

Genuinely curious about this as in the last couple of years I’ve been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses but still have a dream and spark inside me that wants to pursue further education. I did my undergraduate studies and then did a Masters program since my undergraduate GPA was lower than I wanted, and in my clinical psychology masters program I got almost all perfect grades and did very well. I graduated in 2020 which was not great but I worked and accrued 2000 hours for my AMFT number before I started having odd severe symptoms that forced me to stop working around 2023. I was feeling better in 2024 so I was going to apply to PsyD programs and jobs to gain more clinical experience when I became severely ill from a pneumonia Covid combo. It’s definitely been a struggle but I have recently been able to volunteer as a therapist and get clinical experience again. Part of me knows I need to pace myself but I’m just wondering if anyone has had experience doing a PsyD program with health issues and still been able to complete the program?

I 31f have been diagnosed with POTS and a number of other illnesses in the last year after getting very ill at the end of ‘24 but had issues starting around the beginning of the pandemic. One of the worst things that occurred at the end of ‘24 was that my brain would not go to sleep much at all no matter how tired I was, and for months I’d get maybe a few hours per night. I had sleep problems on and off since childhood but only ever tried melatonin (did nothing) and sleep hygiene stuff but when I was suddenly very sick it was just hell.

While trying to figure everything out my primary prescribed ambien just so I could get some level of sleep and I’ve been still taking it on and off for over a year now. I then saw my POTS neurologists PA recently and she sent me to the centers sleep doctor who said I really shouldn’t be taking the ambien still so she prescribed trazodone and said to cut the tablet at least in half (so cut the 50mg into 25mg) and if I felt more comfortable to take a quarter at first since I let her know I’ve been reacting to meds more intensely/inconsistently and I’ve had low BP issues in the past.

In recent years with all these health issues and me reacting to things more intensely/inconsistently I’m just so conflicted on if I should actually try trazodone (especially after reading negative responses from others on here etc) and if I do try it what night I should take it because I don’t want to go downhill again with symptoms and ruin what I’ve worked really hard to get to do (still semi housebound but I’m able to go to stores sometimes and even volunteer a bit per week and do shorts walks in the mornings). Just feeling conflicted and a lil bit emotional about how much my body sucks at times >_<

I 31f had to move back to my childhood home a few years ago due to health issues and then I became severely ill at 30 and have been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses. I also was diagnosed with autism weeks before I became severely ill so I’ve been processing a lot. Something I’ve been leaning into and trying not to mask too much with is saying certain phrases over and over with vocal stimming at home. I sometimes repeat certain words from commercials or shows etc but something I mainly do with my mom is I say “I love you” multiple times a day at random times whenever she’s near me. Sometimes I say it every few minutes to half hour for a short period of time, and I tell her she is definitely not expected to say it back I just feel calmer when I say it out loud. Lately she’s been getting agitated when I say it as much as I do and she says she doesn’t understand why I feel the need to say it so often and that it makes her feel like she’s obligated to respond :/ part of it for me is just saying it makes me calmer, another part is me genuinely just feeling like I care for her and I want to say it, and a lil part of it is my thought patterns of wanting to make sure I say it to her often in case something happens (I have a lot of anticipatory grief/anxiety surrounding death with family members since everyone has health issues and I’ve lost around half of my family members in recent years). Is this a major issue I need to address or does anyone else do something similar?

I 31f have multiple diagnosed chronic illnesses (POTS, fibromyalgia, HSD, occipital neuralgia, Raynauds, ibs-c, etc) on top of it being suspected by multiple specialists that I probably have MCAS, CCI, SFN and a few other things that my specialists don’t really want to dig into (ME/CFS, long COVID etc). All that to say I AM FATIGUED and feel like crap most of the time. My mom 69f has always had chronic pain and has had other health issues since birth (she was born with a blood tumor on her spine which had to be dealt with immediately and she developed severe scoliosis in that area and needed a rod put in at 17 on top of being diagnosed with arthritis at 9).

I completely understand she’s been through a lot of crap and I’m 90% certain most of my diagnoses started with her and some of it was passed on to me and most of her doctors gaslit her and she never got the care she needed. But when I got severely chronically ill in 2024 from a pneumonia Covid combo she was very confused that I could not push myself like I’ve always done when I couldn’t even get out of bed most days. I’ve had to pace myself SO much and my parents and older brother who I live with just keep asking if I’m all better now and I just say this stuff is chronic and they just get angry with me over it.

What really gets me emotional is that my mom keeps telling me I’m choosing to be ill and I’m making excuses to get out of doing things around the house and outside. She says she’s lived with pain and just did things so I should be able to as well. If I could clean the 2000sq foot house every week like my parents want me to and work a full time job I would but damn my body is just nowhere near what it once was. I WANT to do so many things like see friends, go for a run, work and accomplish my dream of getting a doctorate degree in clinical psychology but I now know the signals my body has been telling me that I ignored for 30 years and I just cannot push myself like I did. It’s so hard that my mom is so invalidating because I’ve been there for her emotionally etc since I was a child even when that was not my job.

Sorry for the long post my brain and body are going through it extra today and when my mom (who I care about so much) keeps saying I should just push myself even when I feel like I’m going to pass out/collapse I just can’t explain how much it hurts <\3

I 31f have been having a lot of health issues since the pandemic started and realized I had many chronic illnesses that I was told were nothing but actually were 6+ different conditions >_< I have multiple specialists and most of them aren’t connected so it’s a lot of work communicating with all of them.

I had a semi recent appt and then testing done from my dermatologist for facial flushing and while I was appreciative she wanted to actually do a test, the people at her office just are not organized for the most part :/ I had 24hr urine tests done (that’s a whole other frustrating thing with lack of explanation of instructions etc) and I saw on LabCorp that a couple things were off. Of course I missed one call from them initially but I had to call 4+ times because they kept trying to call before 8am etc and it took me 3+ weeks to finally get a hold of someone since their phone went right to voicemail or I’d literally be looking at my phone all day and then I’d see a voicemail from them pop up with no notification of them calling :/

Playing phone tag is so annoying and I wish all offices had a portal or email etc to go through that actually works >_<. And when I finally got a hold of someone they said I needed to get 4 referrals (allergist, endocrinologist, gastroenterologist and rheumatologist ((even though I already have the last two…)) from my primary because the dermatologist was concerned about my high histamine levels and low normetanephrine levels :/ just hoping I can get some additional answers in the future but dang the communication needed to manage all these issues is exhausting -_____-

I 31f have been through a lot of testing and labs to figure out some health issues I ignored for decades and then became severely ill after a pneumonia Covid combo at the end of ‘24. I’ve been diagnosed with POTS, occipital neuralgia, fibromyalgia, HSD (even though doctor said I could definitely have hEDS but she wrote HSD on the chart), Raynauds and suspected CCI, SFN and MCAS. This is already on top of my scoliosis and gastro issues and known arthritis.

I’ve had so many appts, tests and blood draws that at times everything has been a blur and I’ve definitely experienced medical fatigue. However sometimes when things are a bit calmer I rethink some of the appts and tests I’ve had done and I wonder if something different should have happened or if I should have questioned some things.

One example that comes to mind is when I had my adrenal glands tested a year ago with a acth stimulation test and it started off poorly when the nurse couldn’t get the IV set up for 10 minutes to inject the drug and I was already in a heightened state. Then I remember finally getting the drug, feeling nothing other than the pain from the IV and then having it taken out and being told I had to go walk to another area of the building to get the other labs drawn. I still question why they made me get up and walk around and if that affects that test overall.

There’s other tests and things I question but it’s so darn hard to keep asking questions and being told it’s nothing to worry about :/

I usually go through songs and listen to them constantly until I get sick of them for awhile. I randomly was going through my music and saw a Zedd album and was like ah yes lemme just listen to this….then I listened to Clarity and now I have been playing it on repeat in my car for months >_< I was actually a very boring overstimulated neurodivergent kid/teen so I sometimes really wanted to go to concerts and stuff but my brain/body couldn’t handle it so I’d listen to all sorts of music and just imagine in detail being in a crowded space and this song was one of my favorites to imagine with. I also enjoyed listening to it while working out etc. but also how in the heck did this get released in 2012? It feels like yesterday 😩

My parents bought my childhood home in ‘95 and it was a suburb with a golf course in the back on the houses across from us. My dad, a past avid golfer and engineer, calculated that the house they bought would only get hit rarely unless people utterly sucked according to where the tee box is etc …. Fast forward to me having to move back home due to finances and multiple chronic illnesses and my 2020 accord has been in the driveway most of time and it has been the #1 hit car in our neighborhood…. There’s lots of cars (many rentals with multiple people etc) so I have to either stick to the driveway or park way out of sight around the block or across the entire neighborhood. I have 13+ dents major and minor (from direct hits or it bouncing on the street then hitting my car) and I know I can’t do anything about it but danggg for them to slice the ball over the houses and across the entire street is impressively bad… and mildly infuriating…..