u/bedrock_BEWD

Hi, my PIP is due on Monday and I can see in my banking app that it's my normal payment. However I've just had another payment of £80.33 and I've no idea what it's for - anyone know?

Been on PIP many years now, was reviewed in Feb and awarded enhanced care and mobility then. Payments have been the same every 4 weeks since then.

So I'm currently in an acute ward, got here Monday. My care co and I have been taking about an admission for a while, as my self harm and suicidal ideation are both severe right now and there's a significant risk to my safety. I came here straight from a medical ward after having surgical repair of self harm, and the psych liaison team at the hospital were so concerned for my safety that I wasn't allowed home to get any stuff, and they paid for a 45 minute taxi to get me here.

There was a ward round this morning, including my care co, and they've decided I'm being discharged on Monday as (quote) the evidence says that long stays in hospital for self harmers doesn't help and is counter productive. Now my care co had suggested to me that in her opinion a stay of 4-8 weeks would be best, with input from the OT and psychology teams on the ward, and that a recently agreed change of medication could also be cross titrated during my stay. She said she would come to the ward to see me every week to ensure continuity of care etc...All of this was a lie, and she walked back on everything we had discussed. She said I should be discharged, and when I tried to challenge her about the things she'd said to me, she started talking about how being in hospital doesn't solve anything, and that I know that really, etc etc etc...i just walked out of the meeting at that point, as she was clearly trying to cover her own back rather than stick up for what we'd discussed over the last month at least.

So I'm going home on Monday, with no more support than I had before I came in, and just expected to get better. I don't get it, I really don't. It's like my care co just crumbled and wouldn't advocate for me at all. I was not expecting hospital to fix everything, but I was hoping for space and respite in a safe place where I can't harm myself like I have been doing, and the chance to get the meds change done in a safe controlled environment.

I don't know what to do when I get out. I no longer trust my care co, but she is my only link into mental health services (I see her weekly, and the community psychiatrist once in a blue moon) so i feel i have to keep seeing her. We've been working together for 2 1/2 years, near enough, and i feel totally betrayed.

In England.

I have been asked to help someone fill in their PIP application today. English is not their first language and their English is very poor. Am I allowed to fill in the form with their responses, or will I need to write their answers down for them to copy onto the form themselves? Is there somewhere I can make a statement that I'm filling in the form due to poor English skills?

Thank you.

I've been out (FtM) for ten years, near enough, on T but pre any surgery. Today I was talking with my dad about the choir that my mum and I are in. I sing tenor (a male voice part) and there is a woman who also sings tenor. My Dad proceeds to say that he thinks we must be the only choir in the area who has two biologically female tenors...I didn't know what to say to him so just changed the subject. It made me sad, more than anything, that he didn't realise that describing me that way is so invalidating and hurtful.

I had to come into hospital last night for a non trans related issue. I need to have surgery, and this is something I've had a few times in the last few months. Every time I've been on the male ward, no problems, no questions asked. My NHS number and record both say male, and when they print my hospital wristband that also says male.

I was put onto the male surgical ward about 9pm yesterday. Just before midnight a nurse came and asked me if I'd had "the surgery" - I was confused so she asked again if I was just on hormones or if I'd had this mythical surgery. I replied i was on T but no operations. She then said because I haven't "fully transitioned" I would have to be moved as "this is a male ward", implying that I'm not male. They have moved me to a ward that is all single rooms, so I guess this is that 'third space' that has been talked about.

Don't get me wrong, no one was unpleasant or aggressive, but I feel sooooo invalidated. Just thought it was worth sharing my experience of the same hospital and same reason for admission just 4 weeks apart.

Had appt 3 with Nottingham today. Adjustment to my T prescription, which is fine (I need to go up to 3 pumps as my T level on 2 is only 9.4). Talked about top surgery, and she said she would add me to the referral list. Not the surgery referral waiting list, but the waiting list to get a clinician to talk to me and see if they agree I need surgery. It's about 18 months. So that's another year and a half just to get to talk to someone about referring me to a surgeon (then the wait for the surgeon to pick up the referral, then the wait for the surgeon to see me, then the wait for actual surgery date...). I'm trying not to be disheartened, as I know I'm lucky to be even this far in the system, but it's hard knowing that top surgery is likely still 3 years away 😔 I'm 45 this year and just wish I could pay for it, but I'm not that fortunate at this point in time (disabled, unable to work right now). Trying to keep my head up and keep things in perspective, but it's difficult. I know I'm not alone in this, I just needed a little vent, I guess.

I cut to fascia today, 3 cuts. Went to A&E for treatment and they said i need it closing in theatre under anaesthetic. However, they've said due to lack of beds I'm to go home with a dressing on and return for closure in the operating theatre on Friday afternoon. So I'll essentially have 3 open wounds for 48 hours with no treatment bar a dressing and bandage, then they'll attempt closure. In all my years of self harming I've never been sent away and told to come back for closure 2 days later! I'm in the UK, so this might just be an indication of how overstretched the NHS is...

My therapist has had to fly back to America for a family emergency and won't be back for a fortnight. My best friend might have cancer, she's got an appointment at the clinic in 10 days time. My CPN is rubbish. I have started reducing my quetiapine from 600mg to 450mg as I'm sick of the side effects and waiting to see the psychiatrist (the plan to switch meds was made in November 2024 and still hasn't happened). I am not ok.

Hi, I'm 44m with a 12m autistic child. We currently live with my parents, due to my poor mental health and need for support. I'm accessing support from mental health teams and private therapy, and have been for many years. Self harm has been part of my life for 35 years and I struggle daily with the urges.

I currently limit my self harm to the one day a week my son spends with his mother, so as to limit or minimise the impact on him. He has never seen me with short sleeves as I have extensive deep scarring to both arms. I have harmed myself weekly for the last 18 months at least.

On Saturday I harmed to the point where I needed surgery. This was not what I had planned. I was admitted to hospital and had surgery Sunday morning. I had to stay in hospital for 2 nights. son was told I'm in hospital with a poorly arm, but that's it. He wanted to video call, so we chatted for a bit. He asked me directly what happened and what the doctors were doing. I said I took a tumble (lie) and that the Drs wanted to check all my tendons were working (technically the truth) and that I needed to stay and have some medicine (also technically true).

Logically, I know this lie was the right thing to say to him - in order to protect his well-being, he can't know about my self harm. I just feel awful about lying to him - it's a strong principle of mine that I don't lie, especially to him, but i couldn't tell the truth in this circumstance.

If anyone here is a parent who self harms, please give me your insight on how to manage it with your children.