u/belledamesans-merci

Mostly a rant

34f. I’m tired of how many men say they’re looking for a woman who “doesn’t take things too seriously.” As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been inclined to take everything seriously, because I cared.

I’ve tried to be more chill, but it’s just not in my nature. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never find anyone willing to put up with my sincerity and enthusiasm because it’s not cool, or easy. And I both wish I could be cool and easy, and at the same time resent that that would be a prerequisite.

Assuming she’s pretty enough, what makes you decide whether to swipe left or right on her? Are certain kinds of pictures a turn off? Hobbies? Are you looking for signals she had certain hobbies in common?

The dental insurance I get through work caps out at $2000. Unfortunately for me I inherited my dad’s bad teeth—I’m 34 and already have two crowns. While I’m good right now I’m anticipating I might need more crowns or a possible gum graft in the future, and those are expensive AF.

Knowing many plans have waiting periods I’m considering getting secondary insurance so that I’ll be able to use it by the time I need it. My goal would be to find something that’ll cover most of the cost and has a cap that would make that possible. Does anyone else have experience buying and using secondary insurance, and if so, any recs? Thanks!

The dental insurance I get through work caps out at $2000. Unfortunately for me I inherited my dad’s bad teeth—I’m 34 and already have two crowns. While I’m good right now I’m anticipating I might need more crowns or a possible gum graft in the future, and those are expensive AF.

Knowing many plans have waiting periods I’m considering getting secondary insurance so that I’ll be able to use it by the time I need it. My goal would be to find something that’ll cover most of the cost and has a cap that would make that possible, but I’m not finding a lot. Does anyone have any advice? I’m located in New York

I'm 34F living in Manhattan. The guy I was sort of seeing the last couple of months just broke up with me this afternoon. I'm not that upset about the end of the relationship, it wasn't exclusive, and it wasn't really going anywhere, but I was hit by how isolated I've become.

The last two years were pretty bad. I ended a long term relationship and was unemployed for almost a year.

Most of my friendships didn't survive either. I had had some friends from a retail job but they faded out after we weren't all working together. There was another group I was getting to know, but it fizzled out; they were nice girls but they were all making a lot more money than I was and I felt unable to participate. They were also mostly married or in serious relationships. It felt like watching a bunch of people living the life I wanted, one I was embarrassed and ashamed not to have achieved.

The last two local friendships I had faded out as I started to feel like we had nothing in common anymore. I felt alienated by their politics; they didn't seem to be able to relate to my feelings about dating and wanting to get married.

So now I'm sitting here without anyone to talk to about this breakup and wondering how I change my life. My job is 100% remote. I don't enjoy exercise or sports, so run clubs are out. I'm in a couple of book clubs and hopefully those might produce some friendships in time. I don't know, I just feel sad and lonely and embarrassed, and I'm not sure how to start rebuilding. Advice or stories of how you did it would be much appreciated.

To make a long story short, I hired a matchmaker and paid using my Amex. The profiles she presented were not in line with my asks and I suspect she didn't have the inventory she intimated at the start. I filed a chargeback, she sent some documents and Amex sided with her. I tried calling customer service and they conceded it was "subjective" but that's all I got. The matchmaker has blocked me which is definitely breach of contract, how can I approach Amex to get them to side with me?

Really just a rant. So many guys will put in their dating profile something like “ideal relationship has the perfect flirt/roast ratio” or “playfully roasting each other.”

Well honestly, fuck that. I know it doesn’t make me cool or easy, I’m no fun, but I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to be roasted or insulted, I want to be loved. I want someone who wants to say nice things to me.

ETA:

Definitions of "roast" from three different sources:

Merriam Webster: to subject to severe criticism or ridicule

Dictionary.com: Informal. to ridicule or criticize severely or mercilessly

Cambridge Dictionary: to criticize severely or speak angrily to someone

Sorry if I’m just being dumb, but I’m having difficulty understanding the tariff situation on Vinted. It doesn’t look like they include it in the final price (the way Vestiaire does) but I don’t see anything about paying tariffs later (the way eBay warns you.) So what’s the deal? Is the price the price? If not, is there any way to find out?

I live in Manhattan and contracted for services in Manhattan with a company based out of state. Long story short, they didn't deliver, refused to give a refund, and so I'm now suing. They don't have a New York address; everything took place over Zoom/text. I'm having difficulty figuring out how to file; the New York small claims forms all have "New York" prefilled. Anyone have any experience with this sort of thing and can direct me?