u/bemusemenp

I’m struggling with something and I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.
A few weeks ago, I saw my ex again after about four months of not seeing each other. I was the one who ended the relationship because of some problems I won’t go into here. At the time, I don’t think I fully understood what breaking up actually meant for me.
Seeing him again brought everything back. I realized that I still love him deeply and that I never really stopped caring about him. Since then, I’ve been thinking about him constantly and wishing we could be together again.

We have talked and spent some time together recently. He told me that he is disappointed and hurt by some things that happened after our breakup, and I completely understand why. I regret hurting him and I’ve apologized.
The confusing part is that his behavior sometimes makes me feel like he still has feelings for me. He seems to enjoy talking to me, he has said that I’m still important to him, and there have been moments where we’ve been physically affectionate. At the same time, he says that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me right now.

He says he needs time and has even mentioned something as long as a year. He also seems genuinely confused about his feelings. I don’t know whether he still loves me but is afraid to try again, or whether he cares about me but simply doesn’t want a relationship anymore.
I told him honestly that I still love him, that I want us to get back together, and why I still want to be with him. What I really want from him now is an honest answer about whether he still has romantic feelings for me and whether he can ever see us being together again. I can understand needing time before actually getting back together, but staying in complete uncertainty for months or potentially a year is very difficult for me (and it is in general because he is the only thing i can focus on).

If he ultimately tells me that he doesn’t want to get back together, I don’t want to completely lose him either. I would still want to talk to him, see him, and potentially become friends. The problem is that I still love him, so I don’t know whether being friends would actually be healthy for me or whether I would just spend all my time hoping he changes his mind.
I know people will probably tell me to “move on,” but emotionally I’m not there. I genuinely want to try again with him, while also respecting that he has his own feelings and choices.

What would you do in this situazioni?
Would you ask for a clear answer about his feelings, or give him the time he says he needs? And if he ultimately says he doesn’t want a relationship, is it possible to stay close friends when one person is still in love?

Hey guys, title basically says it all.

How do I actually express my goth side around my parents when they absolutely despise the aesthetic?

IDK if they even know anything about the music, the history, or the political side of the subculture—literally all I know is that they hate the visual aspect, which is something i would like to express and show more since i really like it as a style other than the “basics” of goths.

Every time I try to dress alternative or express myself, I get hit with so much pushback just over the look. They always have smth to say about it even if it’s little things.

Has anyone here dealt with super normie/conservative parents who hate alt styles? How do you guys subtle-goth your way through living at home without triggering a massive argument every single day?

Any tips or low-key styling hacks would be hugely appreciated. TIA!

TL;DR: Parents hate the goth look, know zero about the actual subculture. How do I express myself without starting a full-blown war at home?

Hey everyone, I just really need to get this off my chest because I’ve been drowning in hatred and jealousy for the past 9 months, and I can’t take it anymore.

Everything started around September/October of last year. My boyfriend made some complimentary comments about a new girl in his class. To be clear, he said these things to me, not to her, but it triggered a massive insecurity in me. I immediately started thinking she’s super pretty and, obviously, way better than me.

Fast forward to today, and I’m still carrying this obsessive jealousy. To make matters worse, he recently started following her on Instagram. You could tell he was all anxious about doing it, acting like he was following his school crush or something. That completely set me off and amplified everything.
At this point, I hate this girl (let’s call her Ella) with every fiber of my being.

Rationally, I know she did nothing wrong and has no fault in this. But her standoffish, IDGAF attitude towards everyone (except the people she actually deems worthy) combined with my own jealousy makes me absolutely loathe her.

Every time I think about Ella, I burst into tears. I constantly ask myself why she is better than me, to the point where I question my own worth and literally spiral over her existence. I cannot go a single day without checking her profile or stalking her. I often find myself crying over her photos out of pure jealousy, and at my worst, just hearing her name literally makes me sick to my stomach.

I don’t even know if I’m looking for advice, I just desperately needed to vent and get all this toxic poison out of my system. Thanks for listening.

Hey everyone, I just really need to get this off my chest because I’ve been drowning in hatred and jealousy for the past 9 months, and I can’t take it anymore.

Everything started around September/October of last year. My boyfriend made some complimentary comments about a new girl in his class. To be clear, he said these things to me, not to her, but it triggered a massive insecurity in me. I immediately started thinking she’s super pretty and, obviously, way better than me.

Fast forward to today, and I’m still carrying this obsessive jealousy. To make matters worse, he recently started following her on Instagram. You could tell he was all anxious about doing it, acting like he was following his school crush or something. That completely set me off and amplified everything.
At this point, I hate this girl (let’s call her Ella) with every fiber of my being.

Rationally, I know she did nothing wrong and has no fault in this. But her standoffish, IDGAF attitude towards everyone (except the people she actually deems worthy) combined with my own jealousy makes me absolutely loathe her.

Every time I think about Ella, I burst into tears. I constantly ask myself why she is better than me, to the point where I question my own worth and literally spiral over her existence. I cannot go a single day without checking her profile or stalking her. I often find myself crying over her photos out of pure jealousy, and at my worst, just hearing her name literally makes me sick to my stomach.

I don’t even know if I’m looking for advice, I just desperately needed to vent and get all this toxic poison out of my system. Thanks for listening.

Every morning when I wake up I feel really vulnerable and a bit scared.

I have trouble breathing (not like I’m choking, but it feels uncomfortable and weird), and my body feels very tired, like I’m drained. I usually have to sit down before doing anything or I feel like I might get worse.

I’m not sure if it’s physical or anxiety/paranoia, so I’ll give some context:

- In the past few days I started ⭐️ving again (I also did it last summer but didn’t feel this bad) and i don’t want to stop because i feel the need to do it and i am lowkey guilty abt the fact i started binging on winter
- For about 1–2 years I’ve been smoking daily, especially vaping for long periods (like 2 hours straight while studying)

It’s worse in the morning specifically. During the day I feel more normal.

Does anyone know what this could be? Could it be low energy, nicotine, anxiety, or something else?

Has anyone experienced something similar