u/bluestlouismr2

All the faces, names, groups, cliques, afterschool, boyscouts, sports leagues, attempts to meet girls or go to parties...

Started at zero. In just 15 years of folks most social ages... i finished at zero.

Im actually 41 now. Later on id find friends, but theyd never be people i met or knew in childhood.

Apparently I couldnt meet friends, anyone trustworthy anyways. I would retreat back into other things i was passionate about, videogames, hamsters, or old japanese shitboxes.

And looking back in that 15 year span, anyone i thought might be a friend, really was not/never was, or tell me they were my friend but actively disrespectful or conniving against me when i wasnt in the room.

Is this relatable to anyone here?

The strongest most overriding lesson that impactscmy mental.state on a daily basis was hate for my enemies.

I ate losses time and again and was always told turn the other cheek, be the bigger man, theyll grow out of it, yelled at or punished or treated worse if i did anything to stand up for myself/draw attention/rock the boat. It fermented and distilled a hatred within me. Especially with the injustices, humiliations, unfair punishments.

That and the people i hated most, also were well liked and popular too, even if i had firsthand account of them being a degenerate.

When people would say i was being unreasonable on these matters id think to myself "You dont like it when i treat you the same as you treat me". Because i looked over the track record of letting shit slide, it looks like an unmitigated disaster/welcomed and invited unfair treatment.

Whats done is done, i find their internet presence years later and then self-proclaim to be an old buddy of theirs who loves to share our funny story from school, then basically cuss them out and make sure to point out theyre the asshole/bully/criminal in the story. They never seem to act cool/proud when im done.

Thats what school taught me, how to hate.

I think syntax/lexicon/how words are used is very important. Over using strong words, waters them to the point of irrelevancy. Charity imo has been watered down to almost being conflated with "scam" as example.

Another word, "rescue". "My dog is a rescue".

I was born in 85, and "rescue" had a very specific meaning. I hate how dog people grabbed ahold of that good/positive word and then used it to prop them and their egos up, started applying it to mean "my dog was a stray/unhoused etc." They really didnt rescue shit. Bob Barker did more for strays by reminding people to spay and nueter their pets than these people ever did.

I could list a lot of words that have been watered down to irrelevancy.

Anyways, i think its a bigger deal than society realizes, how words get misapplied and practically changes their definitions entirely. It ruins language/communication and allows charlatans and grifters to get away with destabilizing nonsense.

Reason i ask is i run increased boost pressure on 93 octane and while i have a safety margin, it is diminished for the purpose of power gains. I am running a gt3071r and 11psi of boost, i usually hit around 11.7 afr at top of 3rd.

Ive been doing this with gen3 3sgte motors for many years, no problem. But ive never introduced it to e15. Thats where my concern is.

A lot in my town and school believed they had a god given right to treat me just all kinds of open disrespect, assaults, spit in my hair, serial vandalize our house and cars.

By popular kids. Kids who were liked and had multiple circles of friends to fall back on/back them up.

I was confused through all of it, why they were so evil towards me.

Years went by and i was watching vids from my skipped 10 year high school reunion. They were laughing/hugging, reminiscing stories on what they remembered from school.

What do i remember? "That kid there open palm slapped me across the face to gails of laughter. That kid threw my caprisun packet from my own lunch all over my clothes. That kid had parties up the street, i was never invited, and they came down to my house and threw a beer can through my livingroom window in the dead of winter at 1am spraying it with beer...".

Well...these are the stories that stick out in my head from that era. Lets start openly sharing them on our social media...

And people who liked school/friends with all those felons, vandals, bullies, by god do they not like ugly truths spread about their friends/classmates.

But i pointed out to one girl who was very popular and always had friends in and out of school "hey, read what your friend did to me. Pretend they did that to you. I know you, you wouldnt be forgiving towards them either, so we can quit pretending im wrong here".

I sense they still believe double standards on behalf of their criminal+bully friends must continue to be upheld, and as victim i dont.

Has anyone encountered treatment like that before?