u/carbonerapack

I really want to go to Aqaba, and I need recommendations for a stay + good restaurants and preferably something budget friendly!!

My mom has been slowly shrinking for years, and she’s unaware of it. I have done all I can to wake her up and remind her of what she’s worth because she has grown to be nothing but a helper to my dad, and older brother. Dad who I once thought was a great father and who I used to look up to turned out to be a manipulative, emotionally unavailable, and distant manchild who’s ready to show up for anyone except his family. Should’ve known 3 years ago when my mom’s brother died, and instead of being there for mom he was looking for an opening with her dead brother’s wife Sara. He doesn’t respect her, he always makes sure to humble her, and to invalidate her in every way possible. She doesn’t have anything to talk about because she never goes out anymore, talks herself down in front of people when she does go out or see anyone because DAD gradually broke down all the confidence she had like 10 years ago, and it’s so terrifying.. my mom is literally a child and just a little love from him makes her turn into a little girl, and he uses that against her. A fight broke out yesterday on our way to a nature spot when he blurted out something about “wishing Sara was with us” (he literally never sees her and talks badly about her kids for no reason) and for the first time he felt exposed in front of me, didn’t care about my mom AT ALL but just his image in front of me. later he asked to talk to me and yk what he said?! He said “Your mom seems to be depressed I don’t know what’s wrong with her.” then made her out to be a jealous depressed person when she’s literally a science experiment of what it’s like to have a husband who doesn’t appreciate you, and who quite literally hates you but never directly says it. Parentified as a child and now I am a 19 year old therapist to my parents. I am trying to be optimistic and there’s so much I want to do in life. It’s just upsetting that I have 0 control over my life right now.

After years of emotional neglect, negging, and manipulation my mom has reached a state where she fully believes that she’s worth nothing. She cares for everyone but herself, and each time I call dad out for his backhanded behavior that only I seem to read well she defends him and he deflects and tries to protect his image, but he doesn’t know that I see right through him and know every insecurity of his. I don’t know what to do it’s like i’m watching her lose her sense of self, she used to paint.. exercise and she had her own personality now she quit doing those things and all she does is mother my dad and brother, and when she tries to care for me I get angry internally because i’m not asking for her to care for me and I want her to spare something for herself! I don’t know how to convince her to talk to my therapist or how to get her to wake up from this.. it’s terrifying everything about it, the way she uses the same phrases, the same explanations and has 0 stories to tell because she refuses to socialize and is convinced she’s introverted! I am the only one who sees her and cares about her I don’t know what to do

The first few days were badd I was still adjusting to the medication, and felt some confusion but on day 5 it’s like I unlocked something, and I got my bodily signals back (like hunger, fullness, etc) and even my emotions, I didn’t realize that I was living like a zombie on hard mode until now. It’s day 18 now, and I feel the brain fog and emptiness creeping back in, is it a good time to determine whether I can increase the dose to 300mg?