u/circular_reticle

So, as a person who generally likes Jax and sees themself in her, but does not in any way like her actions, I can't deal with this subreddit. A good amount of it is addressing claims made by Jax fans, which is good. Nothing should be exempt from critique, even things you like. But some of the people in this subreddit wish the worst things upon Jax, like things I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

I understand hating a character because they took up too much screentime, or because their actions are detestable, but I feel like a good amount of people are using one aspect being bad as an excuse to hate the character for reasons that aren't related to the aspect they hate.

(For context, I saw a post saying with a picture of Jax having his skin torn out, and the poster was saying that the cast should've done this to Jax. I feel like some forms of torture should only be used once or not at all.)

Edit: I have muted the sub, I've just been wanting to yap about this for a good bit.

I (15MtF) have, like a lot of people, a younger sister, who's simultaneously an angel and a pain in my ass. She keeps making fun of me, but it's not in the funny, sibling banter kind of way; it's just mean-spirited. Like I'll be talking with her or something and she'll just say something outrageous about my body or my voice or my demeanor or just about how I'm queer and that's something to make fun of apparently (she's not a homophobe, she just doesn't know what's okay to poke fun at). I'm trying to do voice training in the midst of the hell known as puberty, and all she does is make fun of the way I talk, either it's too deep or it's sounds too high. She makes fun of the hair on my legs, upper lip, fingers, armpits, when she knows I was never tought to shave because "men don't need to." I haven't come out to her as trans, and I don't know if I ever will, because I feel like it's just more ammo in the gun. I can't even set boundaries, because I just get called sensitive or it's just how siblings are supposed to do things. Last time I tried to set boundaries, I gave her the silent treatment, and she just said she was glad she wouldn't have to hear me anymore. God I'm so sick of her.

(Small Rant ahead) I've realized there's a large disconnect between how I came out and how others did. Like, I've heard people say they've always been trans, and while I can agree on some level, I can't do so wholeheartedly. As a kid, I was confident in my identity as a man. Then I came out as gay. I wasn't as aversed to things as feminine (not to say being gay is inherently feminine), and I'd look at women and see myself. And I remember at one point thinking I could be trans, but if I were I'd be offending other trans people because I hadn't felt dysphoria. I only really came out a couple months ago because I did. Even now I feel like my identity as a woman kind of hurts women everywhere because I haven't been on the wrong side of sexism (if there's even a right side), or I haven't menstruated. I feel like my coming out was so attached to the idea of earning, and I haven't really seen anyone else mention it. So how did you guys come out?

I don't watch horror, I get super squeamish. And what a choice to be my first. It just deeply terrified me that Owen never realized who she was, and by the time she did, she just went back to nothing happening.

(15MTF) I keep getting videos about "girlhood," and it's always something related to a period. And (I know it's weird) I get really jealous. I obviously don't want menstrual cramps or my uterine wall to shed blood out of me. It's just the fact that the experience is so integral to being a woman just gives me such FOMO.

I (15F leftist) understand why deporting people and stuff is extremely frowned upon, especially children. But (and this is mostly because, before now, I've expressed no interest in politics and don't know the workings of most governmental systems), from what I know, ICE's job is to deport those specifically working in crime, such as cartels. My only real source of info for this is my grandfather, who is pretty far right-wing and served in the military and TSA for 30-40 years, so although he is likely to know the workings of it all, he's also pretty biased.

So, my big question is, what makes ICE bad? Why are people so against it? (If possible, cite sources with answers.)

To start off, I am MTF as of 5 months ago, and I only just now realized how disgusting my wardrobe is. I used to prioritize comfort over style (which I still do every now and then), so my wardrobe is full of sweats and hoodies and jeans. It's kind of icky. Not only that, but I don't have any shirts without some kind of brand label on them that completely ruins their style-ability. So, I desperately need some advice. How do I know what to add to my wardrobe, how do I find my style, and how do I make do with what I have?

I know I'm preaching to the choir here, but it really pisses me off.

Because the argument makes sense in theory. Bathrooms are separated by sex for the purpose of preventing incidents---mostly consensual and nonconsensual sex. And letting trans people into bathrooms blurs that line because anyone with malintent can claim that they're a woman/man and walk in.

But the argument just falls apart so quickly. In any real world, how do you even check this? There's no way to check a person's sex aside from illegal means. No way to stop someone with malintent from walking in anyway. Who'd even claim something as socially alienating as being trans for sex? Most people who would just walk in and do their thing.

And don't get me started on gender neutral bathrooms. Because it's the same argument. Except that gender neutral bathrooms already exist. There are literally family restrooms in nearly every Sam's Club and Costco and honestly any large store.

It just really annoys be that bigots will just grasp at so many straws instead of just thinking a little more openly.

So, a few weeks ago, I made a post about coming out to my mother, and, although I am a bit scared, I think it's best that I do it.

So, I've gotten the tip that it's best to write down what you want to say in advance. But, I still need help getting it out in the way I need to.

Essentially, my mother is a bit under the guise that some trans people choose to be trans for attention. And I'm worried that she'll either say that or blame it on my friends, who are also trans. I obviously know not to use words like "decided" so that it doesn't sound like I'm choosing and not being. But, how do I make it sound gentle, like I'm not forcing it onto her?

Edit: I'm transfem btw.

It's not like I hate clean rooms (I actually quite like it), nor do I purposefully get my room messy. But there's something to having your room a mess that's kind of cathartic.

This may only applies to me, but I really only end up with a messy room when I'm too tired to undo what I mess up. For example, on really bad nights, (I go to sleep without a shirt) I'll just throw my clothes onto my floor and leave them there to rot.

I think it's just the feeling of "Hey, you had some rough days," and the dirty room is just the proof that you got through them, with the shirts on the floor being the inly casualty.

There's also the nice feeling of cleaning up your really dirty room, but that's different.

(Also, when I say messy, I mean in a disheveled kind of way. I don't mean spills and grime and mold. It's less of actually gross stuff and more of piles of typicaly ordinary stuff that make it impossible to see the floor.)

I was watching a couple video essays on YouTube on the way to school and one was about addressing racism in the LGBTQ+ community. I didn't even think it was there.

Which, to me, is wild. On dating apps there's an actual label for "No Blacks" and "No Asians." Which is kind of a double standard; either they're excluded or they're fetishized. And a lot of times people are so open with it!

We're already a marginalized group. What's the point?! I'm a Latina-Asian American, and I'm transfem as well. I literally have a target on my back wherever I go!

Edit: I've gotten a few comments wondering how I didn't know this already. Call it wishful thinking or naivete but I never considered the possibility. I guess I just had a "We're better than that" mindset. Funny thing is, I knew about biphobia and transphobia within the community. I just never thought about racism as a possible thing. I guess I thought racism was inherently heteronormative (?). I live in the Deep South, and racism was only really performed by the straight men. (To be fair, there were only like 15 gay people in our area, but they weren't racist.) Idk, I just never considered it possible.