u/citgoj

Everyday for the entire day it feels like a nightmare, I wake up, open my eyes, and immediately feel like my existence gets stuck in a tunnel. Everything feels 2d and I'm scared that I'm hallucinating everything, almost like a Boltzmann brain. I feel 100% detached from the world, I'm scared this is a simulation and I'm the only real person. I don't know what I am, where I am, what this is, I feel completely lost. I am so scared of existing and death, there is no safe space. I'm scared this is a simulation because then when I die someone can just unplug it and I will be gone forever, completely erased.

It seems like society is all zombies just working all day, watching shows, achieving "goals" that mean nothing, but I do the same thing, so what is there to do? Even if everyone was "real" in the sense that they have a consciousness, they aren't. If there isn't a "soul" or a "god" then we are all just chemicals, atoms and neurons, and whatever other materialistic things that make up the universe. Love, feelings, happiness, thoughts, aren't real. They are just chemicals and atoms. We are all "zombies"

Which would then mean everything that I feel isn't real either which makes me feel empty and alone, I want things to be real. I wish I could feel like everything's okay but I don't. And I truly think it is. I wish god was real or some type of creator with good intentions but all religion seems man-made. I don't know anything and nobody does, all I can feel is fear.

I'm scared of death and I'm scared to live, to exist or not to exist is terrifying. As I'm writing this I feel completely detached, I'm confused and scared. It feels like some distorted movie that I'm looking at. I don't feel like I'm experiencing it - it's just happening. It feels so surreal that I can see anything, and I am existing at this very moment. I wish I knew what I'm experiencing but I don't have an answer, I wish someone had an answer. I'm scared of the universe when I die what's going to happen, just nothing forever? I don't want to be nothing forever, but I don't want to be something forever, forever is terrifying. Everything seems scary and I don't know what I want.

That whole text above is what I wrote in my journal - that's how I feel.

For backstory, I've had these thoughts since I was 10. I started thinking about death and the universe and I started freaking out, this lasted for around 6 months. I was put on Zoloft and I was on it for 5 years until this year, 8 months ago I stopped it cold turkey,

I read that it affected height, and I'm short which also has something to do with my depression and isolation. This whole year I've been home all the time, I don't go to school, barely see friends, I've basically been bed rotting the past year.

The Zoloft helped for 2 years, although when I think back I was still scared of everything, and I don't know when my dpdr started. But I think it really went downhill last summer I smoked weed for the first time with my cousin and had a panic attack, I thought I was going to die, my chest was warm, my body got tingly, and that started another existential problem for me. It then feels like a blur since then.

Around a month and a half ago I was up all night, I drank an energy drink and I was standing in the living room with my mom and I thought how I felt so disconnected from everything, I went back to my room and my heart rate went to the sky, I had a crazy panic attack, went to the ER, and ever since then it's been getting worse and worse.

I went to a new psychiatrist 2 weeks ago he prescribed me Prozac, hydroxyzine, and propranolol, when I went to the ER they told me I had an irregular heartbeat and I read online I shouldn't take those medications while on it. So everyday I was checking myself, my heart would feel weird, I would freak out, and go to the ER. I've been to the ER twice since I had the panic attack 2 months ago.

I'm scared I'm going to lose my mind, my uncle and grandpa both had schizophrenia, I'm scared that the weed might have brought it out and I'm becoming schizophrenic. I just started therapy 2 weeks ago, I'm not sure what kind of therapy and if he specializes in cases like mine. I want to switch therapists.

I also see videos on TikTok that freak me out, like an illuminati conspiracy theory and all the comments are talking about how we're in a simulation, I saw one video that used science and a study to prove that we're in a simulation and that still stuck with me. There's more I could write but this is getting wayyy too long, I just need help, I'm very scared and very confused.

I'm outside and it feels like I have brain damage, I'm completely detached, I feel like I'm forgetting things, I feel like I'm half conscious, I don't know what's going on

I'm 15 and have been dealing with very intense anxiety and existence. It's made me completely detach from reality with very intense dpdr. I'm very scared of what this is, what I am, where I am, if everything's going to be okay, etc. The dpdr makes me feel so detached- everything feels 2d or like a simulation. I think it all boils down to the fear of death. I really do not know how to get over this fear, I've had this fear since I was 10 very intensely and it's never gone away. I'm scared of being in a simulation because I'm scared when I die then I could just get unplugged and never live again. I'm scared that I'm going to be gone forever and ever. I used to cling onto the fact that we are energy and that energy can't be destroyed so I would essentially be "eternal" in some way or another. But I googled it and google says the universe is going to end. I went to a Reddit post and it basically explains that dark matter will destroy energy or something and the universe will turn into a wormhole of absolutely nothing. And that scares me so much. I know I will be dead but that's the point is that if the universe ends then there is absolutely no chance that I can live again. I'm very confused on what I am, I look around and it is so surreal that I'm just experiencing things, I can see things, people, I feel so detached from people tho I feel like I'm the only real person. I just need help, all of these thoughts are on full blast and it's hard for me to explain them. I have panic attacks everyday throughout the whole day. I don't know what to do.

I'm going to try to explain what goes through my head, I wake up, open my eyes, immediately everything feels 2d, I feel completely detached. It's hard for me to think properly, it feels like I'm hallucinating everything. I then had to take something to the post office and walking to the car my heart is pounding and I feel dizzy. And the whole car ride my mind is racing, it feels like I'm watching my life as if it's a movie and I'm not there. I'm thinking about how I don't feel real, that I'm in a simulation, that no one's real, that I don't know if I'm real, that I'm going to die and be gone forever, everything feels like a dream, I feel like I'm just going to stop existing, I'm scared that I'm going to die because my heart is going so fast, i don't know what death is, I feel alone. I then got home and went to my room started crying so hard I want this to end but I don't want to die. I wish I was religious so bad and could believe everything's going to be okay, i tried to pray and I don't feel anything and i tried to sleep and I just woke up 2 hours later. Immediately I opened my eyes and felt bad, so I went onto Reddit and I'm asking for help. I don't know what to do.

I just re read what I wrote and there is a lot more that happens that is very hard to explain, I'm basically very confused, and scared 24/7.

I've been having a lot of anxiety and dpdr. I had such a bad panic attack I went to the er and they did an ekg. They told me I had an irregular heartbeat but it was normal. I'm on Prozac and hydroxyzine which affects the heart prolongation. I was very worried so I went to a cardiologist and he kind of just brushed it off and said it's fine and to keep taking the medicine. But I then googled it and the Google ai told me it's a very very dangerous combination for me. I'm 15 so I can't schedule an appointment myself and my parents are telling me it's fine because the cardiologist said it's fine but he didn't take any tests or anything he just looked at my previous ekg and said I should be okay and to monitor it. I've been have panic attacks and anxiety now about this as well last night I was scared that I was going to die and started having a panic attack. I don't know what to do

Hey, I'm 15 and I got put on Zoloft at 10, I got put on for death/social anxiety. I was on it for 5 years until 15. I got off around 8 months ago because I heard it affects height so I stopped abruptly. No taper off. 5 years stopped in a day. It's been 8 months and I now have really bad dpdr, more anxiety. And feeling completely detached. I got prescribed Prozac again and it's my 4th day. I'm worried I did something or something could happen. Does anyone know anything about this?

I made a thread about this yesterday but I didn't explain it well and added more and kind of what I'm thinking.

I'm 15 and have been feeling really weird. When I was 11 I started having existential thoughts about death, it was bad but it went away for a while. Up until last year I was with my friends and I got peer pressured into smoking, as soon as I did that I had a panic attack I didn't feel real and thought I was going to die. Ever since then I don't know if I've been normal. I haven't been to school because of anxiety, I don't think I've felt 100% normal since. But it was manageable, a few weeks ago I woke up early and was in the kitchen with my mom. I guess I've always felt not real since then but I noticed it, I was talking to my mom but it didn't feel like anything was real. I then had a huge panic attack and literally thought I was going to die. Ever since then it's been getting worse and worse. I'm super scared I'm in a simulation, I'm super scared of death, it feels like everything's a dream l, it feels like I'm just going to stop existing out of nowhere if that makes sense. It feels like this isn't real, almost like a hallucination. Last night I was laying in bed and it felt like everything was spinning, I literally don't know how to explain it, I was freaking out. Like I don't know where I am, what I am, who I am, if everything's going to be okay. As soon as I wake up in the morning it feels like I'm just a robot moving around, it almost feels like I can't think. I'm really confused and scared, there's more I want to say but I can't explain it. I was reading through the dpdr subreddit and saw your post that seemed to explain some of the things I was feeling and wanted to reach out. I also saw some people in the subreddit talking about how it's been 30 years and they haven't fixed it. That scares me so much. I want to feel normal again, I feel like the weed might've permanently messed up my brain since some of the threads I read where it's been 6 years or so seems to have started with smoking. I want to know I'm going to be okay, I seriously don't know what to do. I need help. I also googled if we're in a simulation and it says there is a good chance. Which freaks me out, I'm so scared to die and if we're in a simulation that means whoever is in control can do whatever they want, they can delete the simulation or whatever at any time. I feel like I sound crazy. I'm so scared of death and living I don't know what to do. I read a bit more through the subreddit and most of these people have had this for years and haven't fixed it, this is making me freak out. I feel like I'm going to die and feel horrible everyday I just want to know everything's okay. Has anyone been able to fix this?

Hey, I'm 15 and I've been having a lot of derealization and anxiety about death recently. The past week has felt not real at all I really don't know how to explain it. But right now I'm freaking out because I was in an old car with my dad and we drove for a while and it smelled like exhaust the whole time. Now I'm home and scared I'm going to die because of poisoning or something. I've been out the car for around 15 minutes now. I don't feel real, everything feels like a blur I'm scared I'm going to pass out or die. What do I do I have hydroxyzine as needed prescribed but a few days ago I went to the emergency room for a panic attack and they did an ekg and said I had a irregular regular heartbeat and said it was normal for kids my age. But then I asked ai about it and the medications I'm on and it said to not take hydroxyzine or propranolol until I tell my psychiatrist about the heartbeat

I don't really know where to start but I'm coming on here to ask for help. I've had anxiety about death since I was 11, about forever and forever being gone and the universe. It went away for a bit and came back last year. I then stopped going to school cause I was so anxious and ever since then life's felt like a blur. It's gotten way worse but not in the same way, I had a panic attack a few weeks ago about thinking that I wasn't real and ever since then it's been super weird now. I can't explain it, it feels like im not real at all, like I'm in a simulation. Nothing feels 3d it's hard to explain, it feels like im trapped inside my brain. And I've been having thoughts and seeing videos about like what if I'm the only real person and that scared me so much. It feels like this is all a dream. I don't really know how to explain how I'm feeling but I'm very confused, I don't know where I am, what I am, what this is, if it's real, what's going to happen to me. Last night I was laying in bed and all of a sudden i thought about death and like how everyone's going to die, then I thought about if I'm the only real person and i already felt like nothing was real. Then it felt like the world was spinning and i was imagining everything and my body started panicking and i was just very confused about everything going on, I don't feel like I'm real, I don't know if I'm real, I don't know what everything is. I'm scared I'm becoming schizophrenic. I really wish I could explain how I'm feeling I just want it to end, it feels like it's been years since I was totally normal. I don't know what to do and I need help.

I don't really know where to start but I'm coming on here to ask for help. I've had anxiety about death since I was 11, about forever and forever being gone and the universe. It went away for a bit and came back last year. I then stopped going to school cause I was so anxious and ever since then life's felt like a blur. It's not gotten way worse but not in the same way, I had a panic attack a few weeks ago about thinking that I wasn't real and ever since then it's been super weird now. I can't explain it, it feels like im not real at all, like I'm in a simulation. Nothing feels 3d it's hard to explain, it feels like im trapped inside my brain. And I've been having thoughts and seeing videos about like what if I'm the only real person and that scared me so much. It feels like this is all a dream. I don't really know how to explain how I'm feeling but I'm very confused, I don't know where I am, what I am, what this is, if it's real, what's going to happen to me. Last night I was laying in bed and all of a sudden i thought about death and like how everyone's going to die, then I thought about if I'm the only real person and i already felt like nothing was real. Then it felt like the world was spinning and i was imagining everything and my body started panicking and i was just very confused about everything going on, I don't feel like I'm real, I don't know if I'm real, I don't know what everything is. I'm scared I'm becoming schizophrenic. I really wish I could explain how I'm feeling I just want it to end, it feels like it's been years since I was totally normal. I don't know what to do and I need help.

I don't really know where to start but I'm coming on here to ask for help. I've had anxiety about death since I was 11, about forever and forever being gone and the universe. It went away for a bit and came back last year. I then stopped going to school cause I was so anxious and ever since then life's felt like a blur. It's not gotten way worse but not in the same way, I had a panic attack a few weeks ago about thinking that I wasn't real and ever since then it's been super weird now. I can't explain it, it feels like im not real at all, like I'm in a simulation. Nothing feels 3d it's hard to explain, it feels like im trapped inside my brain. And I've been having thoughts and seeing videos about like what if I'm the only real person and that scared me so much. It feels like this is all a dream. I don't really know how to explain how I'm feeling but I'm very confused, I don't know where I am, what I am, what this is, if it's real, what's going to happen to me. Last night I was laying in bed and all of a sudden i thought about death and like how everyone's going to die, then I thought about if I'm the only real person and i already felt like nothing was real. Then it felt like the world was spinning and i was imagining everything and my body started panicking and i was just very confused about everything going on, I don't feel like I'm real, I don't know if I'm real, I don't know what everything is. I'm scared I'm becoming schizophrenic. I really wish I could explain how I'm feeling I just want it to end, it feels like it's been years since I was totally normal. I don't know what to do and I need help.