u/david-saint-hubbins

Every time Malcolm whips out his phaser, he'd do what I've come to affectionately call "phaser ballet", replete with tip-toes, pirouettes, flamboyant foot drags, awkwardly locked joints, and my personal favorite, the thing where he'd point his phaser behind himself like he was pulling an invisible wagon.

Clearly these were advanced combat tactics that maximized phaser stability, recoil management, and overall accuracy. So why didn't we see this phaser shooting style employed by later security chiefs?

We've basically run out of different ways to say, "It's impossible to tell, Captain", and meanwhile our half-Betazed counselor/resident psychic keeps flip-flopping between "I sense nothing" and "I sense something... perhaps an intelligence so vast, I missed it before!"

It's just getting really annoying. Like, no Captain, I don't think some mysterious "intelligence" was behind why your tea came out of the replicator slightly lukewarm that one time. Call me crazy, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that our android 2nd officer keeps briefly going insane and taking over the ship due to yet another unexpected "glitch" in his programming? Maybe we should focus on that a bit more?