
Genuinely is there anything to look forward to? I’m turning 25 and i can’t do another year.
I had a pretty decent childhood, but then i turned 13 and genuinely everything went dark, my teen years weren’t the best, college years were just survival years, now im turning 25 next month, and i really just cannot deal with it anymore.
I know some will say Jupiter in leo, but any leo rising here will know we’ve been told good is coming since 2024, I also have not benefited from any jupiter transit in the past 5 years genuinely. I waited and assumed things would definitely get better after saturn left my 8th house, but genuinely nothing has changed. My chart seems empty, and purposeless. I’ve been told by astrologers and even a psychic that my path is is continue my studies, but i’ve been trying to pursue that and others since 2024, but to no avail, the past rejection really hit hard as i genuinely thought it was my reward for what indured the past 3 years. There hasn’t been anything i haven’t tried or pursued, I’ve put everything i have in to so much, but there is only so much a single person can do. I don’t talk to anyone, don’t have a good relationship with family, but i still try i really do. I hate speaking like this but a year ago i wrote myself a letter to be sent anytime this month asking if things got better, and im so scared for that day to come. I know my north node is in my 12th house i should try to help or heal others with what i know but how are you supposed to fulfill your purpose if there is no one around? For a while i tried to rework my life purpose in to just living to serve other people, helping, donating etc, but all that did was make me feel ungrateful and awful for those in horrible situations.
they say that after rock bottom there is only up but i have hit rock bottom 3 times i can count in the last 3 years, anything else happens and i will literally not make it to another day.
also because i know some might mention it: my jupiter placement being in the 12th house some might suggest that i need to move out of the place i was born in order to “activate” it but i do not live in the country that i was born in.