u/deevee318

Where are the best spots around Monmouth County to watch??

I live in an apartment complex with about 300 units. It’s majority young couples/young professionals, and a handful of families.

We have a really nice pool that is borderline unusable because of children. I’m laying here now, trying to relax with a book, and there are two children in the pool screaming at the top of their lungs, cannonballing and splashing everyone, and just being general massive nuisances, while their mom sits in the shade and doesn’t say a word to them.

The lifeguard is also a young high school kid who has all of his friends visiting, so he just sits at a table with them not even watching the pool, let along enforcing any kind of rules.

It’s so infuriating that public places are ruined by lazy parents and out of control children. I hate that adult-only pool hours are a violation of the Fair Housing Act, because just once I’d love to sit by the pool without the screaming.

I (35F, 5 ft 6 in) have been on Wegovy pills since mid-February.

I started on 1.5 mg for a month and a half and, after feeling no appetite suppression/not losing any weight, my doctor bumped me up to 4 mg at the end of March. I immediately felt a difference in terms of appetite and have lost 22 lbs since then (sw: 182 lbs | cw: 160 lbs).

I've been averaging ~2 lbs of weight loss per week since starting on the 4 mg pills, but have hit a plateau and have been stuck at 160 lbs for the last couple of weeks. I also feel like my appetite/food noise has been coming back a bit.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did bumping up to the next dose help?

Full disclosure, I am wondering if I may be "over training," and holding on to water weight. I'm doing HIIT 2-3x/week and cardio (running or kickboxing) 1-2x/week, while maintaining a calorie deficit.

I'm a 35F who is childfree by choice. I don't hate kids, but have never particularly been interested in them and don't really enjoy spending time with them.

My mom has been with her partner for over 15 years. His daughter is around my age and has three young children. Even though my mom and her partner aren't married, my mom considers those kid her grandchildren and they call her Grandma.

I see the kids maybe once or twice a year at holidays or family functions. I'm always polite and friendly to them, but I don't go out of my way to play with them or build a relationship with them. I'm also not close at all with my mom's partner's daughter.

My mom recently got mad at me and said it's "not right" that I never ask about the kids or come visit when she's babysitting them. She said that because they're her grandchildren, I should care about them and take more of an interest in them. I'll add that I feel like I already know what's going on with them because my mom regularly sends me photos and updates without me asking.

My mom thinks I'm being cold and that I should make more of an effort because they're her family and important to her. I personally don't think I'm the asshole in this situation, but curious to hear others' thoughts.

Has anyone had luck in the past getting a refund for a cancelled flight from Ethiopian Airlines?

For context, I was scheduled to fly from Newark (EWR) to Kigali (KGL) on June 15, with layovers in D.C. (IAD) and Ethiopia (ADD). On the morning of my flight, about 3 hours beforehand, I was notified that the EWR to IAD leg was canceled due to weather.

There were no other available flights that would have gotten me to IAD in time for the second flight, so I had to jump in my car at 3:30 AM and drive to Washington, D.C., leaving my car there for my 10-day trip. This cost me about $40 worth of tolls and $240 in parking fees.

I know the airline isn't required to reimburse out-of-pocket expenses related to the flight cancellation, though I hope they'll at least give me some form of goodwill in the form of miles, I've been trying to get refunded for the leg of my flight that was cancelled.

I used the Refund Request form on Ethiopian Airlines' website twice and got no response. I then reached out directly to the EWR regional director at EA, who told me since the flight was operated by United, I had to go through them. United told me they couldn't issue a refund because I purchased the tickets through EA, and I've just been going around and around in circles.

Anyone have any recommendations on what else I can try? Calling EA customer service just results in a loop of never reaching a real person.

I’m desperately trying to come up with more ideas for things I (35F) can do together with my Little (16F) that are free or very inexpensive.

She comes from a low-income family, so I want to be mindful of cost and not suggest things that would feel inaccessible. She also has a lot of anxiety and doesn’t leave the house much outside of school and our outings, so I’m trying to find activities that feel fun but not too overwhelming.

Some of her interests include reading, movies, baking, and hiking. So far, we've done:

- Thrift shopping

- Hiking & ice cream

- Kite festival at the beach

- Red Bulls soccer game (tickets provided by BBBS)

- Lunch and trip to the mall

- Valentine's Day bazaar/local market

- Barnes & Noble cafe & walking around looking at/talking about books

For those of you who are matched with teens — especially older teens — what kinds of local (free or cheap) activities would you suggest? I’d love any recommendations, especially ideas that help build confidence/get her out of the house without putting too much pressure on her.

Thanks in advance!

Hi! I’m a Big with Big Brothers Big Brothers and my Little is a 16-year-old girl who’s a high school junior. I’m trying to come up with more ideas for things we can do together that are free or very inexpensive.

She comes from a low-income family, so I want to be mindful of cost and not suggest things that would feel inaccessible. She also has a lot of anxiety and doesn’t leave the house much outside of school and our outings, so I’m trying to find activities that feel fun but not too overwhelming.

Some of her interests include reading, movies, baking, and hiking. So far, I’ve been thinking about things like easy local walks/hikes, baking something simple together, free community events, or maybe a casual movie night-type activity.

For those of you with teens — especially older teens — what kinds of local activities would you suggest? I’d love any recommendations, especially ideas that help build confidence/get her out of the house without putting too much pressure on her.

Thanks in advance!

I’m 35F and have been dating my boyfriend, 40M, for about 10 months. He has an 11-year-old son. I don't have or want kids of my own, and I went into this relationship knowing his son would always be his priority.

His custody schedule is every Monday and Wednesday, plus every other Friday-Sunday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, he usually works overtime (6am-6pm), so our time together is very limited. We usually see each other once during the week for a couple of hours and then every other weekend. I'll occasionally hang out with him and his son during the weekends he has him.

One of the biggest issues we've had over our relationship is that any time I bring up a feeling, concern, or need, he says I am “attacking” him. He gets defensive, angry, and reactive, and then the original thing I brought up never gets addressed. I’ll start by calmly saying something like, “This situation hurt my feelings,” or “I’m struggling with this dynamic,” and somehow the conversation becomes about how I’m criticizing him, making him feel like a bad father, or not accepting his son.

This happens around: me not feeling like we have enough quality time, not feeling included in his life, feeling uncomfortable with the level of contact and closeness with his ex-wife, and wanting more reassurance/clarity about where I fit in his life.

Instead of talking through those things, he often frames it as me making him choose between me and his son. I’ve repeatedly said I am not asking him to choose between us. I understand his son comes first. But I also think there should be some room for a serious partner to have feelings, needs, and boundaries without it being treated like a threat.

Another thing I’m trying to understand is whether his dynamic with his son is typical or whether it sounds unhealthy/enmeshed. I know his son is 11, and I know divorce is hard on kids (I'm a child of divorce myself). But sometimes it feels like my boyfriend babies him and treats him as far younger than he is. A lot seems to revolve around making sure his son absolutely never feels uncomfortable, upset, or has to adjust to anything. I absolutely support being a loving, protective parent, but I wonder where the line is between being sensitive to a child’s needs and using the child’s comfort as a reason to avoid moving forward in a new relationship.

For example, after nearly a year together, he won't so much as give me a peck on the lips in front of his son, and I can't spend the night there if his son is over. On the days he has his son, communication between us is minimal, and he usually only calls me for a few minutes once his son is asleep. It feels like I’m kept completely separate from that part of his life.

I feel like I am being asked to accept a relationship where I'm expected to adapt, but he's not expected to make meaningful room for me

I’m genuinely looking for perspective. Is this normal when dating someone with a child? Am I being unreasonable for wanting more boundaries, more inclusion, and better communication? Does this sound like healthy co-parenting/parenting, or does it sound like someone who is not ready to build a serious relationship after divorce?

For stepparents: how do you know the difference between “the child comes first” in a healthy way and “there is no real room for you in this family system”?