To begin with , I took core and I scored at the VCI 99.6th percentile (140) and the score for the fluid reasoning index was 99.1th percentile(135) ,my psi was at the top 97.7th percentile as well as my QRI was at the 98th .but coming to both my WMI and VSI my scorings were suspicious, like for the WMI it was at the 50th(it says 100 basically)percentile and my VSI was in the 75th(110) percentile. So why does the spiky profile happened. And FYI I was diagnosed with adhd medically and have been confirmed to have high functioning autism. So am I doing the test wrong? Or is the test itself untrustworthy ? Hewp im confused

للملاحظة انا مشخصة باضطراب اكتئابي جسيم +Adhd ونفس الحالة الي بحكيها بتيجي بس بفترات اقصر بكثير وما تعدي يوم ابدا كانت

انا قبل ثلاث اشهر تحديدا الاربعاء صحيت بنشاط كبير عزلت البيت كامل (مش من عادتي) وكنت اتحرك واصرخ (بفرح) كثير واغني والخ من الحماس. كان كلامي كثير اسرع من المعتاد والفرح مش طبيعي، وبنفس الوقت تململ عالي وراسي مثل المحرك بحسه، وكنت قبلها نايمة بس ثلاث ساعات. الخميس اليوم الي بعده كان نفس الشي مع الاستثناء إني تهاوشت مع أبي وصار موقف فعصبت على نفسي لانه افتعلت شجار معه وبوقتها كنت خلص مقررة انهي حياتي من قد ما انا معصبة وزعلانة على نفسي بس قلت بالليل بعملها. رحت نمت كانت الدنيا بعد العصر صحيت بعد ساعتين ثلاث نشيطة وسعيدة بعد المغرب وكثير قيمتي مرتفعة عن لما نمت.

​ونفس الشي حتى انه اجا ببالي اعمل المطبخ الساعة ثلاثة الفجر، وبنفس اليوم وانا احكي مع اختي ولانه انا اتحرك كنت بسرعة واحكي اسرع بكثير والكلام يطير سألتني انتِ راجعة توخذي ادوية (قصدها مضاد اكتئاب لانه أخذته فترة سنتين وقطعته) فحكيت لا وكملت حكي عن شو كنا بنحكي. وبعد ما طلعت رحت اصرخ واغني واتحرك واقفز والخ ضليت صاحية طول الليل نمت عالخمسة الصبح صحيت على التسعة عشرة الصبح عزلت البيت كامل (اشي مش عادتي انا اصلا بس كان فيني طاقة اعملها فعملتها).

​بعدها طلعنا رحلة وطول الرحلة وانا بحكي بطريقة الواضح الان الي انها ازعجت اهلي لانهم كانوا يحكوا انتِ 22 انتِ كبيرة ما يصير هي التصرفات بس طنشتهم وضليت احكي هيك وصوتي كان عالي وكلامي سريع واضح حتى انا حسيت انه اسرع بكثير من المعتاد وهيك طول الرحلة ضليت وواضح انزعاجهم وانا مكملة (مش عناد بس لانه وقتها ما كنت عارفة بس كان بدي احكي). وهيك اذا مش على تلفوني انا قاعدة بحكي بسرعة كثير، فلما روحنا نفس الشي على طريق الترويحة اختي وامي منزعجين ليش هيك وانا مستمرة. وصلنا البيت الكلام مستمر ما خلص قعدنا نفس الشي انا لسا احكي حتى حكيت اشياء متهورة تعارض أساسيات بالعيلة عندنا مثل توجهي بالاعتقاد اني مشائية وهم سلفيين، والكل كان تعبان وناموا الا انا كنت كثير نشيطة وبحكي واتحرك وامشي واتكلم واغني واصرخ وارقص والخ.

​ونفس الشي ضليت صاحية طول الليل ارقص واغني حتى اني عزلت المطبخ كامل الساعة 3 الفجر. نمت تقريبا اربعة او خمسة مع انه حسيت بالتعب قبلها بس ضليت مستمرة بالنشاط هذا فهمتِ، وصحيت تقريبا على ال 11 ونفس الموضوع رحت عزلت البيت كامل من نفسي ومسكت كتاب وبلشت اقرأ فيه ورحت ساعدت امي بالدوالي فتركت الكتاب شوي هيك شي نص ساعة. وبالوقت الي ساعدت فيه امي بحس نفسي رح هيك اموت واتحرك من مكاني بس ضليت لحتى خلصنا وبعدها مسكت الكتاب وعلى جلسة واحدة خلصته (والي هو شي مش من عادتي برضو) مع انه كتاب قصير بس انا فيني عادة ما بقدر اكمل قرائة صفحتين على بعض واموت لو عشرة.

​فبعدها نفس الشي صراخ ورقص وحركة وحماس وكلام مع العيلة والأصحاب والخ. طلعت في الليل امشى لحالي واقرأ كتاب ثاني ما كملته لانه حسيت بالملل منه ولانه الشارع معتم والكتاب فيه أخطاء املائية فرجعت البيت وحكيت برضو نفس الشي هذا الحماس والبطيخ والرقص والحركة والتململ والخ. وحتى حكيت لأمي انه ببالي اشرب لتر حليب مرة واحدة كامل لانه اجا ببالي، واجا ببالي اجرح نفسي من السعادة وعملتها برضو تبع اجرح نفسي ورحت وحرقت وكان الدافع الها حماس مش شي ثاني بس ما شربت الحليب وعملت كل شي ثاني برضو.

​وهيك تقريبا للساعة اربعة الفجر خمسة نمت وصحيت نفس الشي يوم الاحد بس بنسبة اقل شويييييي بس وقت الصحيان مع انه لساتني كنت نشيط وحكيت مع صاحب الباص كلام كثيييير وما سكتت حتى المواضيع حسب ما بتذكر الناس ضلهم وراي يضحكوا والسايق كان ضل يضحك وانا مكمل وبحكي طول الطريق الي هو 45 دقيقة من بيتي للجامعة. طلعت الجامعة وعزلت فراشي والايام هي لقيت طالب ورحت معه وقبلها كنت قاعدة هادية وبملللل في مكتب الدكتور وبنفس الوقت في رغبة بانه احكي واتحرك والخ، فلقيت الطالب هذاك حكينا وبينت وقتها هادية والخ لانه طالب اجنبي كان فانا ارشدته والخ وبعدها روحت بالباص. انا حسيت بالنعاس والتعب ما نمت بس روحت الدار وانا بطريقي امشي رجع الحماس صرخت بالشارع وامشي بسرعة اكثر من المعتاد يعني. ارتحت قليلا بالبيت ورجعت كملت الدورة تبع الايام الي قبلها صراخ والخ بس اعتقد نمت يومها على الساعة 3 لانه ما قدرت اكمل فنمت وصحيت كنت نوعا ما أهدى بس لسا الكلام والنشاط والتململ موجود بنسبة كثير كبيرة.

​وكان برضو لما حكيت مع حبيبتي كذا مرة كنت اتمجنن بس وما بحكي بجدية وكنت حكيت انه انا ملاك والخ وانا عظيمة مش ذاكرة الايام الي عملت فيها هيك. وحتى لما طلعت مع صحابي نفس الشي بحكي واتململ وتعظيم نفسي قدامهم والخ بس ما اذكر الايام. المهم وفي كل يوم من الايام صارت مشاكل بيني وبين عائلتي بسبب سلوكي هذا مخصوص الصراخ والغنا والرقص عقولتهم طفولي وانه انا كبيرة. باليوم الي بعدها كان النشاط موجود بنفس الوقت كنت اهدى بنسبة كبيرة الخميس والجمعة والسبت كان مودي متقلب كثييييير يعني فيني حزن وبنفس الوقت يكون عندي نشاط ويمكن يتبادلون وينقلوا مكان بعض.

​ملاحظة غالبا يوم الاثنين انا صلحت شغلة لاختي وطلعت صرخة عالية فصحي ابي وامي مفزوعين مفكرين صارلي شي فانا حسيت بتأنيب ضمير وزعلت من نفسي كثيييير وحسيت انه استحق اموت وقتها كثير بس نمت وصحيت على النشاط الي كان مرة ثانية. اعتقد كان يوم الأربعاء او الثلثاء هو آخر يوم فيه نشاط فعلي وهي قصة اسبوعي الماضي الي هو أول مرة يصير معي هيك بحياتي. بالعادة الحالة هي ما تستمر لساعات قليلة بس استمرت لايام ورا بعض كان غريب بالنسبة الي كثير. وملاحظة كمان الايام الاخيرة اخر يومين كان في شوية اختلاط بين شوية حزن وخدران بس النشاط كان جدا غالب وكان اعتقد فيه توتر او هيك عدم ارتياح داخلي خلال الفترة كاملة.

وهيك كان جدول نومي

قبل الأربعاء: نمت بس 3 ساعات.

الخميس العصر: نمت العصر متأخر وصحيت بعد ساعتين أو ثلاث بسبب الهوشة مع أبوي.

ليلة الخميس / صباح الجمعة: ضليت صاحية طول الليل، نمت الساعة 5 الفجر، وصحيت الساعة 9 الصبح.

ليلة الجمعة / صباح السبت: ضليت صاحية طول الليل، نمت حوالي 4 أو 5 الفجر، وصحيت حوالي الساعة 11 الصبح.

ليلة السبت / صباح الأحد: نمت يمكن الساعة 3:30 الفجر وصحيت الساعة 7 الصبح.

ليلة الأحد / صباح الاثنين: نمت حوالي الساعة 3 الفجر.

ليلة الاثنين / صباح الثلاثاء: من 3 الفجر لـ 9 الصبح.

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So I got my visa out , a student visa . And I will be studying at the USM can someone tell me how much would it cost me monthly asa student? let in mind that I'm planing it to be a sharing apartmen ,I also don't prefer going outdoors so most of my time is going to be in my room and classes.

Firstly I am from Jordan, A country that lies within the middle east , And Im now doing my MSc and PhD in Malaysia in radiation science and MRI , and also want to chase my passion which is studying English literature and taking my bachelor Msc and PhD in it . And I have chosen Germany to be my next station for this dream , so what is the paper work that is required for this especially that Im an overqualified person with my PhD , can I still work while Im studying? Adn I mean by working that working with my PhD degree either clinically or academicly and research. And also wanted to ask how much would it cost me per month living there ?

Thanks for your time

Does the ADHD(stimulants) meds affect the mode and induce hypo(manic) episodes?

I (22 MTF) have been diagnosed with ADHD for nearly 8 months I haven't been taking any meds since the diagnosis(haven't I neither been taking the adhd meds nor the antidepressants)

So would they (I mean the stimulants) induce any mode episodes or what so ever ?

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So nearly 2 monts ago I had a state where I was in elevated mode I spoke to everyone faster than I'm used to(one of my friends told me that words isn't gonna end anyway why are you speaking in 2X) I danced all the time when I wasn't talking and did all sorts of things this state started dropping when my screams at the 6th or 7th day of those symptoms in the latest of the night woke my parents up at 3 am scared thinking smt bad happened to me so when I saw there faces the elevated mode dropped to be a depressive one I slept then woke up my energy was still but I felt numbness other than joyness which When I started having SI then started dropping more and more day by day after the scream event.

Im seeing a doc and he said it is bipolar2 since I've never hit the manic bar and have recurrent depressive episodes

but I forgot to tell him about this screaming incident which was 6 days after the symptoms and the other one was 2 days after when I got into a conflict with my dad and I also had had **SI** where he repuked me but I slept afternoon for 2 hours woke full of energy did everything I was doing and more and my mode was elevated and had done alots of things and loved myself etc ..unlike the screaming one where I fell into sm Im disappointed of myself

So I had to come up to me sister 2 days ago and tell her that Im diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder which Yhen I explained yo her how things in this disorder works and this was 3 days ago.

Today she came to me and said you don't have that and I'll prove it to you I said how come ? She said your symptoms stopped the day you felt guilty and she had read that ppl with hypomania those incidents cannot affect them nor can they suppress their energy whilst the hypomanic episode and you , your symptoms stopped the moment you felt guilty or smt like that .

Afterwards she said you only want to put up smt within yourself ,just don't ruin your life .

So really am I just faking things ? Cause I really can't tell if I am , and with those 2 incidents is it really hypomanic or just normal elevated mode ?

Not to mention after the screaming incident I started to crash out into depression for like weeks then my mode started fluctuating again between the high mode for few hours and the depressed mode for days and I mean for those days it is more likely to be dysthymic mode most of the time those days .

So nearly 2 monts ago I had a state where I was in elevated mode I spoke to everyone faster than I'm used to(one of my friends told me that words isn't gonna end anyway why are you speaking in 2X) I danced all the time when I wasn't talking and did all sorts of things this state started dropping when my screams at the 6th or 7th day of those symptoms in the latest of the night woke my parents up at 3 am scared thinking smt bad happened to me so when I saw there faces the elevated mode dropped to be a depressive one I slept then woke up my energy was still but I felt numbness other than joyness which When I started having SI then started dropping more and more day by day after the scream event.

Im seeing a doc and he said it is bipolar2 since I've never hit the manic bar and have recurrent depressive episodes

but I forgot to tell him about this screaming incident which was 6 days after the symptoms and the other one was 2 days after when I got into a conflict with my dad and I also had had SI where he repuked me but I slept afternoon for 2 hours woke full of energy did everything I was doing and more and my mode was elevated and had done alots of things and loved myself etc ..unlike the screaming one where I fell into sm Im disappointed of myself

So I had to come up to me sister 2 days ago and tell her that Im diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder which Yhen I explained yo her how things in this disorder works and this was 3 days ago.

Today she came to me and said you don't have that and I'll prove it to you I said how come ? She said your symptoms stopped the day you felt guilty and she had read that ppl with hypomania those incidents cannot affect them nor can they suppress their energy whilst the hypomanic episode and you , your symptoms stopped the moment you felt guilty or smt like that .

Afterwards she said you only want to put up smt within yourself ,just don't ruin your life .

So really am I just faking things ? Cause I really can't tell if I am , and with those 2 incidents is it really hypomanic or just normal elevated mode ?

Not to mention after the screaming incident I started to crash out into depression for like weeks then my mode started fluctuating again between the high mode for few hours and the depressed mode for days and I mean for those days it is more likely to be dysthymic mode most of the time those days .

So , Im refusing to take any meds for now that might have the risk of increasing my weight ,I like my body as it is underweight . And I have read that srroquel and other mode stabilisers has the risk of me gaining some weight and I didn't like that so I stopped ,so can anyone tell me if they lost some weight using antidepressants with mode stabilisers ?

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I have been in an episode lately, depressive one . andcI didn't do anything just thinking of ending my life. I didn't notice that by my dry respondes and cold ones my relationship was falling apart till moments ago. I keep forgetting birthdays and I keep saying things impulsively as I speak before I think . This kept pushing her to the edge. She told me that she doesn't like this in me and I don't either but no matter how hard I try ,it doesn't change. And as I'm depressed she said she can't handle this no more ,passed her limits. She wanted me to try for now to change thatcI said I love to and want but I can't do anything for now im tiered .and also for important dates I don't recall I said this is me Ig I can't change that , I really hate how things are falling apart one by one in my life

First thing first , relationships sucks

2nd thing you need to keep in mind , don't rush into a relationship like you are rushing into a burning house just because it's cold outside, you are going to ruin yourself/ life . There are bigger things in your life you need to worry about at such a young age.

**************

3rdly you are making friends with the other gender just to be in relationship ask yourself why do you need the relationship? If the answer is clear for the call 2as something other than the relationship it is probably not gonna work for you and you'll still feel the emptiness without facing the real causes if your problem so you better beforegetting into one know why and what are you expecting of it .

****************

In the 4th place STOP treating gurls(if you are a boy) and boys(if you are a gurl) or in general the gender/sex you are attracted to as they are something other than humans either if you see it as higher value than thee or less.

************

5th stop seeking friendships to get into a romantic/sexual relationship . Friendships are friendships they are nothing more l, you gotta keep boundaries .and relationships are relationships they have their boundaries too .stop making it awkward for you and them by hitting on your friends ( I mean real flirting not like those when you're hitting on your HGs or HBs for fun )

***************

6th you need to value yourself in your eyes not in other's. See yourself and your goals are way bigger than a relationship to be one . You need to work on your self and become a better version , nonstop you need to .

**************

7th if you really are that down for a relationship make your intentions clear since the very beginning .

**************

8th be yourself do not pretend to be someone else just because you want that.

***************

9th if you are thirsty only water can quenches your thirst , when you are seeking a relationship while being salivating for one you probably not gonna judge correctly, you are just going to idolise the other person and the water you seeked to quench your thirst you will never have .

Be rational and treat the core problem , probably you are looking for someone to fill in a gap within yourself , Im sorry to tell but they won't. You are the only one who is responsible to fill it. Or you are seeking something that you didn't have by your mother or father I also am sorry to tell you that you are never getting that from someone else you need to acknowledge what is missing within thee ,fulfill yourself and don't expect of someone else to do so .what your mom/dad hasn't given you is NOT going to be guaranteed by a relationship so thou better treat thy problems then to seek a healthy relationship and a partner.

10th relationships are just more responsibilities so you better not aid to your more open wounds to which you got , if you insist to do so be responsible for your choices and take what you have gotten so far of your NEW responsibilities.

**************

THESE ARE THE 10 COMMANDS OF A RELATIONSHIP SEEK NOT A RELATIONSHIP , THEY SUCK

First thing first , relationships sucks

2nd thing you need to keep in mind , don't rush into a relationship like you are rushing into a burning house just because it's cold outside, you are going to ruin yourself/ life . There are bigger things in your life you need to worry about at such a young age.

**************

3rdly you are making friends with the other/same gender just to be in relationship ask yourself why do you need the relationship? If the answer is clear for the call has something other than the relationship it is probably not gonna work for you and you'll still feel the emptiness without facing the real causes of your problem, so you better before getting into one know why and what are you expecting of it .

****************

In the 4th place STOP treating in general the gender/sex you are attracted to as they are something other than humans either if you see it as higher value than thee or less.

The gender you are attracted to = homos and hetros

************

5th stop seeking friendships to get into a romantic/sexual relationship . Friendships are friendships they are nothing more l, you gotta keep boundaries .and relationships are relationships they have their boundaries too .stop making it awkward for you and them by hitting on your friends ( I mean real flirting not like those when you're hitting on your HGs or HBs for fun )

***************

6th you need to value yourself in your eyes not in other's. See yourself and your goals are way bigger than a relationship to be one of your goals. You need to work on yourself and become a better version , nonstop you MUST to .

**************

7th if you really are that down for a relationship make your intentions clear since the very beginning .

**************

8th be yourself do not pretending to be someone else just because you want craving for a relationship.

***************

9th if you are thirsty only water can quenches your thirst , when you are seeking a relationship while being salivating for one you probably not gonna judge correctly, you are just going to idolise the other person and the water you seeked to quench your thirst you will never have .

Be rational and treat the core problem , probably you are looking for someone to fill in a gap within yourself , Im sorry to tell but they won't. You are the only one who is responsible to fill it. Or you are seeking something that you didn't have by your mother or father I also am sorry to tell you that you are never getting that from someone else you need to acknowledge what is missing within thee ,fulfill yourself and don't expect of someone else to do so .what your mom/dad hasn't given you is NOT going to be guaranteed by a relationship so thou better treat thy problems then to seek a healthy relationship and a partner.

10th relationships are just more responsibilities so you better not aid to your more open wounds to which you got , if you insist to do so be responsible for your choices and take what you have gotten so far of your NEW responsibilities.

**************

THESE ARE THE 10 COMMANDS OF A RELATIONSHIP SEEK NOT A RELATIONSHIP , THEY SUCK

السؤال فيه شطرين الشطر الاول فيه اما مختار لا بقيد او يختار بقيد . على الاولى محال وبيان الامتناع يكون بكون المختار اما اختار وجوده او لم يختره على الثانية جبر فكان قيدا وعلى الاولى اراد وجوده قبل ان يوجد وارادته متعلقة بوجوده فوقف وجوده على وجوده قبل ان يوجد فهذا باطل .

الشطر الثاني ان يكون مختارا للفعل فيكون ، اما المختار اختار باختيار مخلوق او لا مخلوق على انه لا مخلوق يكون انه يلزمه منذ وجوده فان لزمه منذ وجوده فهذا جبر واذا قيل يختار باختيار مخلوق فاما ان المختار خلق اختياره-لكل حادث محدث- او غير المختار خلق اختيار المختار فان قيل المختار خلق فاما خلق باختيار او لا اذا قيل لا جبر واذا قيل باختيار كان التسلسل فان قال باطل كان به وان قال التسلسل جائز نفى وجود ربه فلا يكون المختار مخلوقا من مخلوقاته فيسقط الكلام عن قدرة الله بخلق مختار يختار . وان قيل ان غير المختار خلق اختيار المختار كان ذلك جبرا، كيف لاختيار غيرك ان يكون انت اخترته؟

فان قيل الطبع يخلق ان المختار يخلق بطبعه فاما الطبع يخلق لسبب او لا على لا كان ترجيحا بلا مرجح فان جوزه بهذا الموضع كان حائزا في كل موضع فترجح الوجود لا بمرجح فسقط ان يخلق الله مخلوقا مختارا بل يكون ترجح لا بمرجح فان قيل باطل كان به. واما اذا قيل ان طبع المختار يخلق الاختيار لسبب فاما سبب يختاره المختار او سبب لا يختاره على ان لا يختاره المختار يكون جبرا واضحا وعلى ان يختاره

هو استدلال دائري(دور منطقي) وهو مستحيل

22MTF Msc in radiation science Jordan ->Canada/New Zealand/ Finland

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So who am I ? Im a trans fem 22 yo who lives in jordan rn . Got my bachelor in Radiation science as Im going to have both My MSc and PhD in the MRI field . by the. I'll be 26yo-28yo I have my acceptance from the USM which is ranked 134 on the QS ranking. My BCs GPA Is 3.48/4

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So now as trans ppl in my country get discriminated and we have no clear rules about it in jordan, they don't say it is illegal to be trans here or you are going to be punished if you do so as well as you cant get the necessary medical help and I'll be discriminated by both the society and my family.

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So I started looking for migration and getting an asylum in new Zealand ,Canada ,Finland or Denmark. To live and work there without the fact that at some point I'll be forced back to jordan or midlle east .By then the time I'll start packing my packs I'll be 26yo And have no working experience but have A PhD degree in the MRI physics, so what could I possibly do ?

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What are the requirements for me to get out?

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How much shall I save before starting the process ?

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After I get what jobs Im expecting to have ?

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Is it simple ? Or hard ?