u/disappearing_haze90

Just a vent. Can't sleep again. Everyone else is sleeping right now. Tomorrow is going to suck. And I feel so alone.

Hey all, among the many other symptoms, I believe brain inflammation has been the hardest for me. Some of my symptoms were - (one sided) migraines, sensory sensitivity, extreme agitation, insomnia, brain is hot feeling, losing train of thought easily, noticed change in connecting my brain to my body (motor skills). Usually at the same time I'd have facial pain, congestion, and sore throat. Could either be viral flareups, pure migraines related, or something else.

Either way, what has helped me has been tylenol, sensory deprivation for days, cold compresses on my head, high doses vitamin c, zinc, elderberry, lysine, lots sleep meds to try to sleep it off, stretching my neck, and ofc doing everything possible to not induce a flare again. Massages sometimes helped. Noticed a difference with HBOT, don't have enough data if it helped long term.

Wondering if anyone else had something similar and what helped them?

Heart has been pounding continuously for days. And it's like I can't catch my breath. And my digestive system is out of whack.

Usually I have it managed (long term chronic insomnia) but I just haven't been able to downshift it the last few days, taking all my usual stuff and doing all the usual stuff.

My body feels trapped in a frozen state

32f, been struggling the last couple years. live with my parents. I've tried to stay strong and have hope. Before I got sick, I finally felt like I had some ability to create a life I wanted.

I feel like I did all the hard work of getting a degree and experience, trying to save money, and working on my emotional health issues. All for it to have no use.

I finally bought good furniture for my last job/place, just to use it for 6 months and be stored in my parents basement.

All the things I want to do - find a partner, have a stable career, go to weddings and events, save for a house... I haven't been able to.

And what really sucks is my last job and relationship sucked. And that's what it all ended on. I haven't had any opportunities for the last couple years since being sick to overwrite the old ones.

And I just don't see a viable way for me to build any sort of independent life anymore even if I do get healthy enough, although I doubt I'll ever be totally healthy.

But I can't have a healthy future living like this. I really want to move to a different country and cut off from this life entirely.

Does it ever feel like you need to do something really radical or you're just going to be consumed or lose whatever is left of you?

As the title says... Can't believe I've wasted so much of my life because I couldn't sleep around them.

Does anyone else experience this?

When it comes to daily tasks, cleaning, bills, cooking, etc I can do.

When it comes to things like moving, leaving a job, getting out of a relationship, or taking a vacation... even if intellectually I know it's the right thing, it's like I can't do it.

But if someone else is kinda doing it with me, I can have a lot more motivation or just tag along.

Has anyone just left their old life behind completely and moved away? With no support?

Not expecting it to solve anything, but just to have a chance to survive.

No matter what I do, I'm just getting worse. Feel like I've been stuck in a nightmare. And any cope or therapy or skill or hobby is just a drop in the ocean of pain here. I believe it broke me mentally. Starting to break me physically. Feel like if I were somewhere new and had time to thaw out and settle, re-integrate into the world, in some new scenery, and not be connected to my old life, is my only chance.

Anybody else feel that way?

Currently live my parents. I think I'd fare better on my own, however I can't do the transition yet of moving. And I get a lot of things here, sunlight, bath tub, clean air, low financial pressure.

But I wish I had parents that advocated for me. That was curious about what they could do to help make my environment or situation better. That would find things for me - like noise canceling headphones, or truly allowed me to rest - like bringing up food to my room or offering to drive me somewhere, or protecting me from decision fatigue or trivial obligations.

It was such a toll living here, and partially why I deteriorated. I was asking for help all last year until I just couldn't get up anymore. I almost was admitted to inpatient. I'm so so glad I didn't because I was deeply exhausted, and I'm glad the woman there said the words "you seem exhausted" which just felt really validative (even though continued to offer admittance to inpatient) and gave me a little confidence to try to rest. I spent a lot of my savings going to stay at a hotel and ordering food. And honestly just felt really lost, exhausted and hopeless.

But even with that, my parents never offered to take me somewhere I could rest, or find a place, or help pack, or allow me to feel supported. I was open to getting an apartment but needed serious help in getting that. I've mentioned to this to them all before but nothing changes.

I get a little sad when I hear about other people's parents or partners drive them or bring them food or things they need to their room. I think living with them has triggered so much emotional pain, and I've had to kind of just shut off my emotions to get through.