u/disappearing_haze90

Hey all so I had about a three year extremely stressful period, mostly related to a relationship, family dynamics stress and developed some health issues from it.

The thing is, now I have zero capacity to do anything social. Maybe a random lunch with a certain friend super close by like once a season. Otherwise, I just don't have it in me. I know that I still get really tired early in the evening so I choose not to have any evening plans anymore. I tried for a little while to do some social things - hikes, dates, even talking on the phone sometimes. And still that was too much.

But also I'm just genuinely not interested in other people for some reason. And I think I still have a ton of feelings like I want my time and energy for me, probably to the extreme.

And I just don't get it. I was never that social, but I always had some social life. And, as longas it was the right people, I liked it. It's like I just get immediately exhausted, even if it was something I think I could find fun.

But also these days, I don't get normal social interactions from school or work, so it's like everything has to be a planned event at some place. And I think I don't enjoy that as much as just getting lunch with some coworkers or something.

My obgyn presented two options: progesterone only or go on birth control (both estrogen and progesterone).

The hormone panel came back normal so my dr said it's likely stress suppressing my system. (I also have a lot of systemic health issues from a period of severe stress).

Biggest concerns are wakeups between 2-3am, feeling hot, and not feeling as rested or generally like myself. I did have a lot of anxiety but that's been managed better with calming supplements. I also have a super light, barely there period.

Edit: Thank you so much for your responses! I just made an appt with a WHNP, I'm really hopeful this well help me with my symptoms, especially sleep.

I have such little support that any support now isn't enough to overcome the initial deficit.

Before a therapy appointment or a nice lunch with a friend really kept me going for awhile when I needed it.

But now it's like this pit.

I know they say that money doesn't buy happiness, or that people with money aren't traumatized. But money buys time, safety, comfort, support, health and experiences that can all tremendously help trauma recovery.

It doesn't mean there still wouldn't be hard days or bad memories, but then you actually can afford the support needed to recover and keep going without creating more issues in the process.

I believe if most people were given time and money to heal, they would quickly learn what helps them and what doesn't and proceed accordingly.

I can only sleep at hotels. I'm so desperate. Tried making my room like a hotel it's not the same. Really need to move but worried I still won't be able to get sleep. I know there's something about hotels that make me feel safe.

I'm really>!considering spending the rest of my money staying at a hotel and then ending it. !<

Don't have enough recovery. My consistency that I've maintained for most of my life is gone and even if I do workout, my muscle and endurance just aren't as robust anymore.

He said he needs 9 hours and has "barely been getting 8." He has no idea that I was getting 2-3 hrs/night for years, only recently getting it up to 5 hours.

I feel like I live in a completely different world than people who sleep regularly. I wouldn't have understood long term insomnia until I experienced it.

I've had to cut back on so much the last couple years. And it has helped me physically. But the years of cutting out things I like, ending relationships, financial concerns, less independence, sleep deprivation, isolation, and just having so many issues within a single day over and over and over again, has really taken a toll on me. And just the fact of the nervous system being stuck on alert for so long, often feeling a severe restlessness and brain pain, makes it hard to just rest and feel gratitude.

Waking up in the morning after having been asleep all night. Stretching and feeling all cozy. Not wanting to get out of bed because that's just how comfortable I am. I'd get up and not be irritated by sounds or light or people. Naturally have energy. And all day I wouldn't be thinking or worrying if I was going to be able to sleep at night.

You used to be able to see what workouts you did each day in the Progress section. I can't find them now -- does anyone know where they are?

I was sick for over a year before I realized my fight or flight system felt stuck "on" and then another two years before I even learned it was a real thing and learned the terms dysautonomia and hyperadrenergic pots. Before that I thought I had difficulty adjusting to my new living situation, stress at work, anxiety, insomnia (which are all true in part) and thought I just needed to manage the stress of it better.

I couldn't keep up. And unfortunately we don't live that close to each other so everything either involved a lot of driving or going out which is something I've had to limit. He most recently asked me to go on a cruise, and I just.. can't.

I know this is better in the long run for me. He always seemed to push me to do things I didn't want to do. And now I can focus more on my health and save my energy from a long, arduous relationship.

I like Range & Repair from 4wotp. Hoping to find some other good ones to add into the rotation.

I think I know how to help myself when I'm panicked and exhausted. Does anyone know what to do feeling so empty and hollow inside and can't sleep because of that? I feel like eating chocolate helps ,me a tiny bit.

I guess it's a small relief that I don't have panic and feel like I'm jumping out of my skin. But tonight I feel so so hollow.

Been thinking about it for awhile. Did it at 22 for a year and helped my emotional health tremendously. However, I'm sick now so idk if it'll work the same.

I'll either stay the same/get worse, which is what would've happened anyways, or I'll get better.

I don't really have a high quality of life of life anyways right now, so might as well try.

Anyone else do this?

I had an ex boyfriend who didn't care if I wanted sex or not, if I enjoyed it or not, as long as I had it with him when he wanted. And at first I was taken aback, but then it kinda made it easier. I didn't have to pretend I wanted it, not just with him but with myself. And he didn't feel rejected because ultimately got off on just having it as opposed to me needing to perform certain ways.

Sometimes I read about people trying to get turned on more to have more sex with their partner -- but to me, if I'm not desiring it, then why make myself? I can definitely see if I'm in the minority because I really don't need it and I also don't really partake in other things like alcohol or vices, I'm more of a utility type of person.

And I've had sex other times in relationships where I enjoy it, but again I personally don't really need it and don't feel that much closer to the other person because I know it's just temporary feelings. And I place much more value on other things in the relationship - like trust and security. However, I understand that certain people absolutely need it so I'll do it. Otherwise I probably wouldn't ever find someone that just doesn't care about sex.

So I'm wondering how you approach sex in your relationship?

Edit: Thank you for all the responses. I'm happily surprised as the common sentiment is what I used to think before this last relationship. I definitely think, in part, that this last relationship has messed up my understanding of some things in relationships as I think there was likely abusive (or immature) tendencies in other areas outside of sex.

I've been using a massage gun and it calms me down immediately sometimes... the vibration really does something for me, especially when my own skin feels like it's vibrating from overstimulation. Has anyone else experienced this?

I can go from 0 to 100 which has never been a thing for me prior to getting sick. I feel like it has to be from the adrenaline dumps that amp me up, or the intense fear, or just exhaustion coupled with lack of control in my environment, which hopefully I can change at some point. I haven't seen many people mention anger, so I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar

I always had a neutral/slight positive relationship with my family. When my life was separate. But after getting all these health issues - their lack of understanding, their pushiness, their judgement, their lack of consideration, lack of support .. it's just permanently changed how I view them. I miss being on my own and believing that my parents could always help me or have my best interest, or at least care about me.