u/dreamyLee33

Hi, I'm 40F, looking for someone, a new friend, to chat, message, or talk with.

Life has recently decided that its time for me to be under the wheel of life. This time has also made me realize how lacking I am in the friends department.

A little about me;

I'm single, I love cats (I have 5), no kids, I like arts and crafts, and I like watching and listening to scary stories, mostly on Youtube.

I'm hoping to find someone to connect with, and eventually make this an offline friendship.

To be clear SFW topics only hehe

I've been dissociating for a few days now. It brings both relief and worry at the same time, so confusing.

Relief because I'm not feeling the same level of anxiousness I have with the many current problems I'm dealing with.

Worry because at times I think I should be MORE worried so I can take action, I should be worried that I'm not worrying enough, I should worry because I'm increasingly losing the will to continue.

The last time I experienced this I was able to get checked by a psychiatrist and get medications, but unfortunately I don't have any money to spare. What little I have now is strictly for food.

Yes, I'm fully aware that I'm dissociating. I fight it as much as I could. I walk around in the afternoon, chat with anyone I can including my sister, I watch youtube videos about funny and entertaining topics. But its there, painfully so.

I can only pray I'll be able to overcome this.

Second post in 2-3 days, eto na lang ang paraan ko to decompress.

So tired of my life.

Bata pa lang ako, 7 or younger, I've experienced traumatic difficulties that no one should ever experience, much less a child. But for the sake of my family I kept quiet. Now, whenever I see pictures of myself especially my elementary years, I see the burden behind my young eyes.

Became the breadwinner of the family, parents died, helped my siblings finish college. My whole 10 plus years of employment were dedicated to my siblings.

I had some nice memories and experiences din, but I was sorely limited. My growth was stunted due to the fear of taking risks, "I'm the breadwinner. I can't be taking risky decisions." Then I saw Vice Ganda's movie Breadwinner, I didn't want to watch it at first, but that rant, the glorious RANT that Vice delivered stabbed my soul. Bakit nga ba isa lang ang breadwinner?! Di ba pwede lahat? Di ba pwede pag ako yung bagsak may sasalo sa akin???

Now, I'm in my 40s, single (not by choice), jobless, friendless, broke AF, my rent's unpaid, depressed and on the brink of ending it. I'd love nothing more but for someone to actually make an EFFORT to come and comfort me, tell me its gonna be fine, I'm not alone, someone to support me 'till I'm back on my feet.

Someone who'll take me to the ER and sit beside my bed, unlike 2 years ago, where while I'm breaking down I miraculously brought MYSELF to Makati Med.

And now, to add to my sh*tty situation, my cats, my only source of happiness, has to be given for adoption since I can no longer care for them.

But I love them and I know its the best for them.

I wonder what's the best for me... if somebody is even thinking whats the best for me.

Cried so much today, been crying on and off the whole week but today's the worst.

I had to make the hard decision to have at least the youngest kittens get adopted. It pains me so much, especially one of them strongly reminds me of my cat who passed away in June.

However, unfortunately, I'm still jobless, broke AF (like -I only have less than 500 in my wallet now- broke), my rent handn't been paid in months, and all other sorts of sh*t.

The only tiny hope I have is the possibility of getting hired by the end of this month, but that is still days away and my dear kittens need food and security that I cannot give them.

I've failed, not just with my cats, but with myself. This keeps happening year after year, time after time. I try to be good and hardworking, no vices, no enemies, no issues with others, but this just keeps happening. I try to stand after I fail, I fight, but then I fail twice, thrice as hard.

Its so tiring, so tiring. Today, my tears flow so easily, my head hurts, the thought of fighting, trying, continuing, just feels so unnecessary. Only one thought dominates me now, I should just sleep and never wake up.

Hi po,

Can I request for a free reading? Just to get some clarity or guidance in what I'm going through or maybe a little encouragement?

June had been one if the worst months for me; my beloved cat died, I lost my job, I'm on the verge of being homeless, and negative ang finances ko 😭

I'm looking for a job currently, and I need to get one ASAP.

Will my fate turnaround for the better soon?

Please DM me if you'll grant me a read🙏

Thank you so much!

I've been single for a long time now that when I think about being with someone I just draw a blank.

I'm mostly satisfied with myself and my cats. But then difficult days arrive, some just unbelievably bad, and I wish I have someone at home to talk and cry to.

Someone who's there to say its gonna be alright, and I know its gonna be true because they'll be there to catch me when I break.

I love my siblings but they're all in Visayas, I'm in Luzon. They would listen, but more often than not I find myself providing the actual support.

I do have family just outside of Metro Manila, but they have their neverending drama as well.

Most of my friends are casual, none too deep. I tried joing church groups, hobby groups, etc. But it all fizzles down.

Its been such a hard month for me, and here I am again wishing for someone who truly cares.

About two weeks ago I lost a beloved furbaby. A week before that I was already stressing for the 2 months rent I owe my landlord, and my lease contract will end early July. Then last Thursday I lost my job, not yet official but as of today I am unpaid.

I tried my best to not think too much about it during this whole long weekend since my blood pressure has been at stage 2 more often than I'd like in the past week.

But its Monday, and real life's knocking, reminding me of my situation. I need help, but unfortunately people around me need help too, I'm the one they usually ask help from😢

Its so tiring. But I still want to fight for my other furbabies' sake.

I sorely need a fresh start🙏

I'm female, 40, single, living with 5 cats in Manda. Your average cat lady hehe.

Been in the corporate world/rat race for 18yrs now, ok naman ang company ko, wish my salary is better (but everyone does), and lived most of my life in the city.

For a few years now the thought of living in the province keeps popping up in my head. And as I grow older, this thought echoes louder and louder in my brain, nearly screaming at me.

I did have an experience living in Negros for a few years in my teens and in my early 30s. In both cases, multiple factors pushed me to go back to Manila.

Now, its all I can think of. Building a small house with my cats, working from home, write or paint something, maybe have a small business. Just taking it slow and steady, heaven!

Alas, this seems to be only a dream or at least it might still take me 5-8 years of corporate slavery before I could reach it. Cross my fingers 🤞 at least if I win the lottery I now have a concrete plan of what to do😆

I just joined this group hoping to maybe get some answers, opinions, and share my experiences with my dreams.

I've had dreams or nightmares about someone very close to me passing. Not sure who they were at the time, but later on I would find out it was my cousin, my dad, my grandparents, my uncle.

However, there were times I would know who it was. I dreamt of my Mom for 4 months straight, on a near nightly basis, and she passed a month after. Two pets, a dog, and most recently a cat.

These happened in a span of over 2 decades, and I'm still in denial most of the time.

There were also very mundane dreams coming true like the general features of my future workplace, house, streets I've never been to, but suddenly deja vu. Situations happening in my dreams actually happening in real life months or even years after.

I have really good dreams too, though far in between, but they have yet to happen. Nonetheless, somehow I feel a certain peace, because no matter how much I'm in denial, I'm certainly in the path where I'm supposed to be.

Free will vs Predestined? What do you think? For me, over 2 decades, and with my most recent loss, and what's currently happening in my life, the future life I see in my dreams is a balm on my current struggles.

I'm looking for a very pet or cat friendly apartment, house, condo style place to move into by June-July.

I have 4 indoor cats (emphasize on indoor).

My budget is 9k to 13k.

Preferrably with 1 bedroom, 2 if possible.

Areas can be Pasig, Mandaluyong, QC, Makati, Taguig.

Thank you!