u/edward_furlog

This goes out to especially those who suffer with moral OCD themes or interpersonal themes around being disliked. You can make so much progress with your OCD when you decide to consciously embrace and love your imperfection, your quirkiness, your little inner gremlin. All of that stuff makes life interesting.

I bet all of you have read a book or watched a movie where you empathized and even loved a character who was morally gray, chaotic, sneaky, or even a little bit evil at times. You can love that in yourself, too.

Find ways to practice being a little bit unpalatable. I'm not suggesting you do something that harms others or goes against your core values. There are a lot of ways to practice without doing that.

Here are a few ideas to try:

• Share an unpopular opinion on Reddit (in either a post or a comment.) Practice sitting with the discomfort of being downvoted and having disagreeing comments posted in reply.

If you need to make it easier: Use a burner account, don't look at the comment after you post it, or start with a very lightweight opinion (ei., an opinion about a video game rather than a deep ethical or political issue!)

• Set a boundary or make a minor request to someone (saying no to something you don't want to do, voicing a minor preference for how things are done around the house)

If you need to make it easier: Set the boundary with the nicest/most accommodating person you know; set a boundary about something very minor; bring your boundary up as a preference rather than a request ("I like when things are like xyz" instead of "Could you please do xyz."

• Tell a small/harmless lie

If you need to make it easier: Tell a friend who knows it's a lie ahead of time

A good exposure should be a little difficult, but not feel like the hardest thing ever for you. Start slow and calibrate it to your own needs.

After your exposure

After an exposure you might feel anxious/distressed or want to solve the problem (confess, apologize, check, ruminate). Remember that this is normal and plan on it happening.

Jot down a few thoughts on what you think you will feel and want to do, after you do an exposure.

Plan for how you will react when you feel those urges. Practice harm reduction. Can you reduce the response? Can you delay the response? Maybe you want to confess your lie - can you wait five or ten minutes? Always do a little less and wait a little longer when you can. if you tend to punish yourself mentally, plan for that and do something nice for yourself instead. You can customize it to your needs and have a plan for whatever it is that you tend to do.

After 8 years on T, I've stopped passing. I'm getting she/her'd to my face daily. People glare at me with hostility and are unfriendly to me in public. I probably look like a woman with a beard.

Last year I had cancer and went on chemo, where I gained 20 lb. This has affected my body shape and face shape.

I've tried to lose weight but nothing works. I just don't seem to burn fat. I'm unable to exercise due to ME/CFS, so I'm limited to diet changes. I already eat healthy.

This is kind of my nightmare. Advice welcome.

I will expand on this with sources if it gets anyone's attention. Several years ago I stumbled across a connection that I haven't seen anyone else make.

Macrophages are part of the innate immune system and have many complex roles. Microglia are a type of macrophage that is in the brain.

Macrophages have phenotypes which can Change depending on their environment and role. There are, broadly, pro inflammatory and anti inflammatory phenotypes. There are also many intermediate phenotypes. We are still learning a lot about macrophage phenotypes.

A study showed that in Hypoxic conditions inside the joints of children with a type of juvenile arthritis,macrophages took on a pro inflammatory phenotypes; hypothesized to be triggered by the low oxygen.

People with ME/CFS have low RBC deformability, discovered by Open Medicine Foundation. This low RBC deformability leads to low oxygen in the smallest capillaries. If the arthritis study is correct, this would lead to macrophages adopting the pro-inflammatory phenotype, which would provide a possible mechanism for brain inflammation and possibly muscular PEM.

I had a total hysterectomy (including cervix) a little less than a year ago. Right after, I noticed that my hymenal / coronal tissue seemed to be filling up my vagina a lot more, blocking it sort of.

It's still the case now. I am now using estrogen tablet suppositories and I hope it will help but it's hard to even get the applicator in. It gets caught on the tissue.

Penetration is uncomfortable and the tissue is in the way and tender. It has always felt like it was a lot of tissue and kind of in the way but now it's much worse.

Is there anything more I can do here? Why did this happen? I am wondering if my cervix was helping to create more space in my vagina that's now collapsed, plus atrophy?

Does anyone ever get this tissue removed if it's too excessive? I've always wondered about this.

I've had two pelvic exams since hysto and the doctor didn't say anything.

I've been excited to participate as a Big for a while, and finally my health is in a place where I can. But BBBS never responded to my application.

Today I went to try applying again, and I saw that the chapter in my area has actually been closed for a year. Their website and volunteer listings had remained up for much longer, but now all that is gone too.

Other BBBS chapters in my state are not close by.

Are there other opportunities to mentor that might be more available in a rural area? (I am in central Maine). Any other organizations that are similar?

I even reached out to a family I know who i would love to work with even without a program to meditate it, but I recently had a falling out with the grandparent unfortunately, and they didn't respond. Which is fine and their perogative. But I'm at a loss for whether I can find a way to do this.

I recently decided to rent out my guest/craft/office room and prepared it for the renter. That meant I needed to move a couple things into my bedroom, including a bookcase with visible items on it. I also have a bunch of stuff on the floor that hasn't been sorted yet... like 2-3 boxes/bags worth :(

I have a small room and I keep it exactly the right way. No clutter, no visible storage, and everything that IS visible is carefully chosen and curated, and doesn't overwhelm the senses.

Now I'm struggling because these things are here. When I look to my right in bed, I can see the bookshelf, the books and bins on it. They don't look bad and I'm aware of that, but I can't shake the feeling that it's too many objects and they shouldn't be visible. I also had to move a very large yucca plant in here.

I am cleaning a lot and clearing away anything out of place, and I'll deal with the bags of stuff... I'm even moving some other stuff out of my room that is normally here, like my mirror and some blankets. I hope that I will be able to calm down soon.

I'm also chronically ill so I need to be careful and not exhaust myself with this like I did yesterday, working late into the night to try to at least improve it.

Any tips are welcome. Is it better to try to completely deal with this so that I can calm down or should I try to tolerate this situation somehow? If so, are there good techniques for doing so?

A big frustration. I spent over 30 minutes refining a vintage medical-themed iPhone case using keyword targeting, updating listing pics and more.

Almost immediately, my listing (which was already an Etsy pick!) was removed for a policy violation. The specific violation was not named, of course. Etsy referred to this policy:

https://www.etsy.com/legal/prohibited/#Q5
Items, Items Promoting Illegal Activity, and Highly Regulated Items

I cannot appeal. The notice I got says that Etsy staff actually made the decision, and it was not automatic.

I am guessing that it was removed for somehow being medical equipment, which is ridiculous. however, One of my new listing photos did have a stethoscope as a prop shown in a larger arrangement; and stethoscope was used in a tag; and nursing/medical etc were used in text and keywords.

What is it that I actually did wrong? Is there any way I can list more medical-themed items, items for nurses/doctors etc without risking penalties/removal?

When I was about 11, the memory of my most recent past life was restored to me.

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In that life, I had been a bright & promising young man growing up in the 60s, but became involved with heroin and eventually started working for a small criminal organization who provided me with heroin and kept me addicted. I worked for them for a few years moving drugs to their various front businesses. In my late 30s, full of guilt for wasting my life and causing harm to others, I intentionally overdosed.

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In this life, I have repeatedly struggled with the fear that I've ruined my life, squandered my potential, or made serious mistakes, mostly against myself. Indeed I was very promising as a young person but have had a much harder life than expected, and feel I have brought a lot of that on myself.

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I try to be forgiving and sometimes am. Curious if anyone has any practices, or ideas, for how to release this karmic pattern.

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Ty ♥️

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For about 10-15 years, I've had repeated but non-related physical problems around my right side - both in the area of my heart and sacral chakras.

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Currently I am suffering a lot with illness and pain affecting the right side of my chest and underarm. I'm seeking regular medical help, too, of course. But I can't help but notice how every physical problem I've ever had is on my right side. Many of them have been quite serious when they occurred in my sacral.

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Can anyone shed some light on how to address right-side issues of the heart chakra?

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How do you determine whether to research something or not?

Obviously, the easy answer is "Don't do research on things you're worried about, it's a compulsion."

But there are many times when research is part of being fully informed. For example, I have had a serious illness, and research would help me be a better healthcare consumer, ask better questions of my doctors, and so on.

I know that if I didn't have OCD, I would actually be researching more, not less. I avoid researching so that I don't trigger spirals. I basically hardly ever research anything, and as a result, I can be pretty underinformed about things.

If you do determine that it is a good idea to research something, how do you do so safely as someone with OCD? Do you seek out support before/during/after researching? Are there any techniques you use to process the information that you find?

I have a serious buyer lined up for my car (2014 Prius), but she just moved to the state and can't get cash because her bank doesn't operate here. I can't figure out what a safe option is for a digital money transfer. I live in Maine, USA.

What do you recommend?

The amount is $4000. I don't trust a Venmo transaction (What she offered). The payment could be reversed or held by Venmo.

Edit: Thanks for the ideas/options. We will either do a Wise money transfer or money order.

I'm a 39 year old trans man who is interested in the program, but I haven't yet gotten involved. The impression I got from my local chapter was that they match male littles with big brothers and female littles with big sisters (though this may not always be true, they do seem to give that impression -for example, by saying that they have a lot of boy littles who need a match, so therefore they need more big brothers to enroll.)

However, since then I have heard online about, for example, big sisters having little brothers - so I'm confused.

Personally I would be fine with either gender little - I'm much more concerned with us having a good match for interests and activity level. I'm not sporty at all, and I am physically disabled, so I wouldn't want them to match me to an active sporty kid just because he's a boy!

I also am not sure how things go with being a trans big in general. Including with meeting the family - I would love to hear from other trans bigs!

Thanks!

I have a newer car and I use two metal ramps to load/unload from the hatchback. The ramps need to sit on a painted part of the bumper.

I've noticed some paint on my bumper is already chipping and scratching. 😳 How can I protect the paint?

The ramps already have little rubberized strips on them but it doesn't cover everywhere,so there's bare metal at the edges.

Any ideas? How do you protect your car from ramps?