u/eggoinapan

got way to invested in daydreaming and now i feel like i'm gonna pass out, the world is fucking spinning. dae get like this?

i've just been laying in my bed, unable to stop crying. i don't want to be here. i want to go home. i want to go be with my family where i never even know about any of these problems. where my life is small and simple and full of love. sure, there's good things in my real life, but i don't know if it outweighs everything else.

this is the worst night i've had in a while. i don't know how to keep going

Personally I always eat really fast because I hate being in the act of eating and want it to be over as soon as possible. But then I always feel awkward cause I'm the first one finished lmao. Do any of you do something similar?

i don't belong here this isn't my world or my body i miss my family and my home so much, it's so distressing i don't know what to do, everytime i'm forced back into the real world i want to cry. how do you deal with this everyday?

i don't belong here this isn't my world or my body i miss my family and my home so much, it's so distressing i don't know what to do, everytime i'm forced back into the real world i want to cry. how do you deal with this everyday?

so my 2 best friends, we'll call them sam and peter, are dating. i am with them almost everyday and they are the most important people in my life. but i'm starting to worry that i might be falling in love with peter.

i was technically friends with sam first and they introduced me to peter as their boyfriend, but it's gradually gotten to the point where it feels like i'm closer to peter than sam. partly because of certain interests lining up more but also partly because i've noticed some behaviors and habits in sam that bother me and i just don't enjoy being around them as much.

anyway, it's always been very hard for me to tell when i am attracted to someone because i am just naturally very affectionate and have very strong and deep feelings for people i love even platonically. because of this, i am having a hard time figuring out if i am in love with peter and am trying to suppress in because of sam or if i just have never had this close of a relationship with a friend. i feel so safe and comfortable with him and i want to be with him all the time, sometimes i think i find him attractive but again i can't tell if that's my brain just not having another way to express the comfort i find in him, or if i just want to be in a relationship and my brain is latching onto the person i'm closest with.

i also don't know if i only feel this way because i feel myself growing distant from sam. i genuinely do not enjoy being around then most of the time and feel relieved when i get to have time with just peter. on the other hand, i don't know if i only feel like this because i might be subconsciously in love with peter. i know to some extent my feelings toward them are valid because of certain things that have happened but i am afraid that i'm just starting to dislike my friend because i'm jealous.

sorry if this is kinda word vomitty, hopefully it makes sense. i just don't know what to do and it's starting to really stress me out

so for context, recently a bunch of stuff has been happening with our ex partner, i won't get into the details of everything that happened but we are trying our best to cut him off because he has become a borderline dangerous person for us to be around. it's difficult since he is currently living with our best friends but he will be moving out soon.

anyways, because of how stressful the whole situation has been it's had a big impact on our system. the most annoying thing is that our 3 most frequent fronters all hold very different emotions regarding the situation.

i am the main protector and am doing most of the work to make sure we associate with him as little as possible. i hold all of the anger towards him and the situation and i'm the only one willing/able to stand up to him. this has made it very difficult for me to watch the others when they are fronting as they do not have the same feelings that i do. of course this is just to make sure they are protected and aren't stuck with this resentment since i am literally built to be able to handle that and they aren't, but sometimes i wish it wasn't that way. our main trauma holder of course just feels a lot of fear and shame and sadness, and i've been doing my best to comfort her and take over when he is around so that she doesn't have to deal with that stress. our host, however, was not fronting when any of the bad situations happened. she knows basically what happened but because of how the disorder works obviously the emotions associated with it are inaccessible to her. this was to keep her from having to deal with that trauma obviously, but that also means that she doesn't really remember a lot of the details and is unable to feel the way that me and the trauma holder do. she doesn't understand why she's not allowed to talk to him or why we all hate him since she mostly just remembers all of his good parts. she trusts us and our opinions, but she feels like a bad person for suddenly shunning him.

we all have a good relationship with each other and i have no ill feelings toward the host, it's just kind of annoying that she is literally unable to fully dislike this person that has been so detrimental to our life.

so my xbox recently updated and for some reason it seems to have fucked up the graphics in rdr. it used to be very high quality graphics but suddenly everything is low res. there are no graphics settings in the game and my xbox is set to 4k which is the highest option. has anyone else had this issue or know how to fix it?