u/elle___woods

I live with my parents for financial reasons (I’m 34 and back in school so have minimal income for the next couple of years) and while I can kind of ignore the hoard a lot of the time, I feel so angry and upset right now. We’ve been experiencing a heatwave in Europe that our infrastructure is not prepared for so the most of the house is unbearably hot, especially my bedroom on the top floor. The reason I’m angry is because we have a big basement floor with 3 big rooms. One of them used to be a TV room and the others have always been used for “storage” but over the past few years the hoard has taken over and there’s only a tiny path to walk through in each room and the spaces are useless basically because there’s no space to even sit down. I feel so incredibly angry that my parents have allowed their shit to accumulate to this degree and it’s so backwards that all this random shit (that I’M gonna have to sort through when they die because they’re incapable of dealing with it themselves) gets to be in the basement which is many degrees cooler than the rest of the house, while the actual humans are forced to sweat upstairs. The rest of the house is also cluttered as hell but we are able to live in the space at least. I just had to vent because it’s making me want to cry. We could be comfortably sleeping and spending time in the basement but instead we are forced to suffer. And my parents need to get real: these heatwaves aren’t going to stop and they are only going to get older and more vulnerable so when will they finally prioritise throwing some shit away so they can be comfortable and safe from the heat??? Arghhhhhh

I have 6 hours to see a bit of Thessaloniki but will have a big suitcase with me. Is there anywhere where I can store it safely so that I can walk around without my bag?

Whenever a story comes up about my past and what I used to do or put up with for male validation, my gf gets weird. She is a lesbian who has never centered men or wanted their validation, whereas I am bi and have had many many situationships with shitty guys of all sorts (and a few decent ones), before I met my gf. I tell her that her reactions make me feel like she's disgusted by me or that she wishes she could erase my past. She says she's just "shocked" and wonders how the need for these extreme situations was cultivated in me. She wonders why I had to subject myself to these situations at all. And then she goes quiet for ages (these convos usually happen over text as we are long distance). I don't know what to think? I know the solution is to talk to her about it and I'm sure we will, I'm just wondering if any of you have experienced something similar and how you handled it? Idk why but it feels a bit victim blame-y because while I did willingly partake in a lot of the things I did, I was also a broken/unhealed person desperate for attention and that made me vulnerable to being abused. It's taken me long enough to get over my own shame over doing certain things with/for men, and it hurts to notice how disturbing she finds it. It would be nice for her to be like "sorry you went through that" rather than tell me she's shocked and then go quiet for hours.

I'm curating my collection and I only want max 6 full bottles, which means I can't have a bottle for every season and occasion. I'd say currently my most versatile (and favourite) perfume is L'Eau Papier by Diptyque.

It's not even Hochsommer yet and the gym I go to the most (Gewerbepark Stadlau) is so stuffy and hot that it makes it hard to workout as efficiently as I usually do. Don't gatekeep! Which locations have good air conditioning or are generally cooler because of their location/ventilation system? Thank you!

I'm (34f) asking because I want to understand my girlfriend (37f) better. If I go more than a week or two without exercising (by exercise I mean something that gets me sweating and increases my heart rate) I physically feel bad. I feel sluggish, my appetite decreases (because I physically feel like I have to work off all the food I'm eating or I just won't have an appetite), I feel bloated, my lower back pain comes back, etc. My girlfriend wants to exercise more but she really struggles with motivation. My motivation is that I feel like crap if I don't, so I have to do it. I do know that not everyone is the same. For example, she has a much bigger appetite than me and never complains about feeling bloated or too full, whereas I do even if I eat much smaller portions than she does. I guess I'm wondering if people that don't exercise actually feel fine or if they're just used to not feeling great so it doesn't bother them as much as it bothers me? I'm trying to find ways to help motivate her.

EDIT: thank you everyone for your replies!! Can't get back to all of you but really appreciating your insights!

Every now and then I'll randomly remember a cute shirt I used to wear, or I'll see a photo and be like "wow that looked good on me, I can't believe I gave it away". While some people might just be able to shrug it off, it makes me feel very sad and regretful. I just woke up and I had a dream where I was looking for an old dress that I'm pretty sure I gave away years ago. Just to give you an idea what I'm working with!! What's also hard is that trends keep coming back around - all that Y2K/2010s stuff that I used to wear when I was 16 would sell for good money if I had it today, and I'd even wear some of it again (I'm 34 but basically the same size and I still dress pretty young). I have SO much clothes and I simply need to part with it but there are just so many different ways I'm attached to things. Either it's sentimental, or it's something that could become trendy again, or it's only slightly too small or too big but my weight fluctuates. I've got an excuse for everything and as long as I've got excuses I feel like I'll have future regrets. Help!

I just sold a few perfumes that I grew out of, and even gave some away for free (ones that are quite old and/or low value) and it feels so good! My collection is now mostly made up of scents I actually love and am excited to wear, whereas before I was kind of forcing myself to wear some perfumes that I didn't really enjoy simply because I had them there. With the money I've earned from selling some bottles, I am saving up for my next perfume (not sure which one but it's probably going to be expensive and something I LOVE like Lilyphea), so it's almost like I'll get the next one for free #girlmath! I'm sharing this because a few months ago, what excited me was collecting perfumes, but then I realised that my taste changes too quickly for me to buying full bottles this casually, and life is too short to wear scents I don't love, and my money is too valuable to spend it on things I won't really enjoy longer term. It also feels really good to allow other people to access perfumes for free or for a very good price, rather than these perfumes gathering dust and cluttering my perfume tray. That's all! Just wanted to share because this is a win-win situation and maybe it will inspire someone 😄

I’m in a relationship with a woman and my mom seems very accepting of it and she loves my gf and they get along great. But when she’s talking to her family or friends from a conservative Latin American background, she avoids mentioning I have a gf, either by calling her “a friend” or by avoiding speaking about me altogether. I told her I’d like her to please mention I have a girlfriend so that we can normalise being LGBTQ+ and she said “I don’t want to tell anyone who might be sexist or homophobic about it because I don’t want them to talk badly about you”. I told her she doesn’t have to protect me from people talking and she said she’s not doing it for me, she’s doing it because SHE doesn’t like the thought of it. I know she’s in the wrong here but I don’t know how to explain it to her. Can someone help me out? She’s basically putting her own comfort over mine, isn’t she? Even though I’m the minority here who needs an ally to make me feel more comfortable in a heteronormative environment?? She constantly has these excuses for why she doesn’t mention my gf to people and it’s making me feel sad.

Fellow fragrance lovers, I'm travelling to the US tomorrow and I'd love to come back home with something for the summer. It can be a perfume/cologne or a body mist. I love love love Wood Sage & Sea Salt by Jo Malone - something in that direction would be great! Does Indigo by Nest fit the bill? All I know for sure is that almost all of my perfumes feel too heavy or sweet or musky for the summer heat, so I want something I know will work in warm weather. Open to all recommendations!