u/gerardwayfan6767

We both have strict brown parents, both our parents know about us not in detail but they know we are together. My parents are strictly against going on dates alone with him but his parents are okay with it. Im always disappointing him by not going on dates. hes obviously already really upset that we both cant hang out alone outside of school.
Both of our birthdays are 3 days apart, mine is on 24th and his is on 27th. Im having a party and i’ve invited like 7 people in total including him. He said hes obviously coming. He said that doesn’t really want to celebrate with his friends and only with me alone. I told him i will show up and i feel so horrible i feel like crying. My parents just said no, i cant figure out a lie. They said they will only let me go if more people are going. I first lied and said yes he invited his friends too. Then my dad said that he will drop me off exactly where hes celebrating to make sure.
I dont know what to do, i told him all this and he sounds so sad ;( I wanted to make him really happy for his birthday I have no idea what to do.

I can’t talk to anybody. My boyfriend has his own issues related to mental health, it makes me so guilty that I promised to help him and be there for him but I can’t even help myself. None of my friends take me seriously. I hate talking about my health with anyone now. I keep wondering what would happen if I were to disappear. I relapsed 2 days ago, nobody knows. Nobody cares enough. I genuinely don’t believe I will make it till September this year. It’s only serious once it’s too late.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive towards the people who have struggled with these situations, I really don’t want to come off that way
I just want someone to beat me up. I want someone to severely hurt me- I really like the feeling after getting hurt maybe? i cannot explain it. its probably because i’m too much off a pussy to hurt myself in anyway.

Im so lonely, i have nobody to cry to. He doesn’t want to talk to me. I made a mistake (no i didn’t do anything close to cheating, and i really dont want to type all of it). he believes that “i hate him” its so suffocating because i haven’t loved anyone more and i show it really well. He doesn’t talk to me like before, its all so dry and he just looks tired. i miss him so much. ive tried my best to apologise but i dont think he will ever give up the resentment. he wont believe me when i say i love you. he said that im a bad person and called me a bitch. i cant talk to anyone im considering relapsing.
thankyou for reading till here, any advice will be appreciated.

LTDR: made a mistake, boyfriend resents me and im gonna relapse

For context Im deeply aware of how much i messed up, i truly love this boy so much.

I have this create mode account (basically those accounts with those reels with a colourful creatmode backgrounds and text), and i posted one with the caption “stop saying bs you dont mean “i miss you” i know you dont lmao 🫩” it was really irresponsible and childish, It was for when he once told me that his day would be “dry” if i was with him (which we later sorted out)
I posted this reel right after he said that, and this was 2 months ago. we later sorted it out AFTER i posted it. I have two creamode accounts, one of which he knows. Not the one i posted this reel on bc i mainly used that as a venting account and kinda like a digital diary (nobody knows about it) i have allot of posts of me explaining how much i love him too. today he somehow found it and got really mad. he said that he cant get himself to trust me ever again because he would never post anything like that publicly which makes sense and im so ashamed. I apologised allot but he didn’t stop, he called me even a “bitch” and told me to fuck off.
After i apologised allot he said that he was shocked because he didnt expect me out of all the people to do something like that. he kept saying how i hate him and that i dont get to say i love you anymore.
i dont know what to do, the guilt and regret is genuinely eating me up, i feel horrible. ive ruined a loving relationship. he said that its “fine” but it obviously isnt. We always resolve arguments and say i love you to each other every time, we have been together for almost 2 years.
please please help me out any advice will be so appreciated.

We have been together for one and a half year now, I do trust him allot. Lately all our conversations on have been about him asking for nudes. We have exchanged pictures before but Ive never sent him photos of me completely naked.

Ive told him that Im super conscious about my body and that i just dont want to send photos of me completely naked. He says that Im beautiful and dat I dont need to feel that way but Ive made it so clear that i just dont want to send. He just wont stop asking for them, so i for some reason (i know its stupid) said that id send him on Saturday, he although still didnt stop asking for them even before saturday smh. yesterday was saturday. Yesterday he kept asking for it, spamming “please”. I was especially down yesterday because of my parents, im not getting into that but yeah so i said “I dont feel like clicking i hope you understand” he said that i literally promised and started begging again, he didnt even care to show any sort of concern which was weird but whatever.

Now i just feel extremely guilty for no reason at all.

We have been together for almost 2 years, and its been like this since the start honestly. I thought it would get better but it doesn’t. Irl we run out of things to talk about, I feel like we cant even match love languages anymore. I dont know how to bring this up with him.

On text we talk really well but irl its just not the same for some reason?? i really really love this boy, i have never in my life loved someone as much. I dont want to break up like ever, we havr so much planned out.

Also im extremely anxiously attached, so i just keep overthinking so much but ive started getting thrapy. PLEASE tell me how to bring this up and communicate better.

How do I change that? We are in a long distance relationship. Hes good with dirty talk, I’m not and for him it’s a big part of the relationship.
I try to be more comfortable in talking about sex and kinks but I just can’t.
Please don’t tell me to “break up” bc we are “sexually incompatible” I really love this guy and I wanna work it out.
How do I become more comfortable in talking about my fantasies?
It’s not that I don’t have any, I just get super shy and awkward when he talks about them. I can sense him getting bored sometimes and I just FEEL SO GUILTY. I wanna make the relationship exciting for him I don’t want him to get bored.

TLDR : i feel like me being too “vanilla” is making my boyfriend bored and I need advice in how to be more comfortable w dirty talk.

I’m in one of the most important grades of my academic life, and im totally wasting it. I hate waking up, every night I wish that I don’t wake up tomorrow and it’s just fucking draining it’s like I’m stuck in this loop. I hate being conscious.
I don’t study, I don’t do anything. I have no hobbies. I’ve ghosted my friends. I don’t find anything fun.
Every night I just feel guilty for wasting all my potential. I’m not a dumb kid, I can study fine but I just cannot get out of my bed. I’m ruining my life. I feel guiltier for feeling like this, I have no reason to.
Fml

I feel like I am disappointing my non ace partner

for context, me (15f) and my boyfriend (15m) have been planning dates for a while now. we have never gone on real dates, we only meet in school but we do have most of our classes together.
my parents are extremely strict (emphasis on extremely) they dont know about him and they always need to know who im with and where i am all the time. that means i cannot go on dates with him without figuring out a good enough lie.
Now we were supposed to meet the day after tomorrow , i asked 2 of our mutual friends to be my coverup, my mom knows them (they both also have a thing going on? so it wouldve been sort of a double date buy we were gonna hang out alone anyways separately).
spoiler : they cancelled. i had to beg them to come along i even offered to pay for their tickets if money was the issue (we were gonna watch a movie).
the plan was officially cancelled. i told this to my boyfriend and he started acting so unusual he was not being understanding at ALL. he was being so passive aggressive and was being SO RUDE. he said that im always scared of everything and how i dont have the guts to sneak out and that its gonna cost me to miss out on the fun. i told him my parents are scary as fuck he just kept saying how hes SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME and how hes accepted that we wont be able to meet ever. i felt so guilty but i seriously cant control it. brown parents are STRICT AS FUCK and SCARY.
he was being really rude im genuinely really sensitive when it comes to him.
i dont know what to do he just said “bye” and thats it. he also mentioned how he doesnt even want to meet me now since the plans never work out. i feel so guilty, i even apologised allot.
he really said hes very disappointed in me.
i dont know what to do, this was kind of a rant but if anybody has any advice please help me out.