u/hash-slingin_slashr

A little over a year ago, I found out I was pregnant. I hadn’t thought much about vaccines before that and was generally pro-vax because propaganda and the actual info/contrary opinions being buried and silenced. But with the COVID vaccine injuries (ty Jimmy Dore) I had started being a little wary and decided to do my own research.

I read a couple books and started verifying the information myself. Not just looking at “anti-vax biased” studies, but the very studies that vaccine manufacturers referenced to support their claims. It was genuinely painstaking but it was good to not take any one persons word for it. While I was doing that I came to Reddit to see if I could find any uncensored opinions. There were a few vaccine subs that were heavily biased and basically useless for actual discussions. This one was way more pro vax than it is now, but it was something.

Now the discussions are open. One anti-vax post doesn’t just get downvoted to oblivion and drowned in comments saying, “trust the science” and “ask your doctor” (which are not arguments in a DEBATE). There is actual discourse here.

I am grateful not only for the people who share their stories and science/other info, but for the people who come here to debate for vaccines. Ideas need to stand up to scrutiny and I am anti-vax because of what I know, but I’m always open to being corrected and learning something new. I appreciate that I get the chance to defend my ideas and look into the claims made against them. It is vindicating!! I seem to always get the last word in back-and-forths because I present something that can’t be argued, it seems.

Anywho thanks to all of you for your different perspectives and for pushing me to be informed. I’m not here to debate (this time), just to send my fellow humans some love.

Informed consent ftw!

I have been reading up on vaccines since I got pregnant last year and my husband and I decided against them.

My baby was premature but has been healthy as a horse her whole life (she’s 6 months old). No colds or ear infections or anything.

I looked into it and most kids get 2-4 colds/upper respiratory infections by the time they’re her age. So I’m just wondering if we are simply lucky, or if this is a common story for others who didn’t vaccinate.

I was just making a little piece of toast with this spread that is basically puréed Kalamata olives, capers, and herbs. My baby (5 months) was in my arms and reached out and grabbed the whole thing. I pried the bread away but figured I’d let her taste it. Her hand was COVERED in it. She put it in her mouth, didn’t make a face at all, and just kept going back for more.

Up until now she’s only tried a few fruits and peanut butter. She liked em all but I was not expecting her to like olives (and capers!!) … it took me 30 years to like olives.

Anyone else have a baby with a refined palate? I’m afraid I will go broke when she finds out about fancy cheeses and caviar 😜

This is long I am sorry but I am running on fumes and overwhelmed. TIA 🙏🏼

I am a new SAHM to an almost 4 month old baby girl. My husband and I’s first. She’s honestly a really good baby and I feel very fortunate. However, it’s still easily the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. It’s also the most rewarding which is why I think I am able to keep my spirits up and give it my all every day (and her being pretty chill certainly plays into this too).

We have company for like 10+ days straight starting today. My sister is here this weekend. My best friend comes the day my sister leaves and stays all week. Then his aunt comes the day she leaves and I’m not sure how long she will be visiting. I have been stressed and working hard to make our new home presentable and plan meals and everything. Our guest room has been full of everything from storage and we had to get a bed and I still haven’t gotten the room set up for my best friend and his aunt (sister got a hotel for the weekend). But I’ve been staying up late and cleaning and organizing til like 4am for the last week or so.

This morning I was scrambling to get things ready be for my sister got here, and was so burnt out I was on the verge of tears and kind of venting about how stressed I was. My husband had gotten the wrong size bags for the vacuum so we couldn’t do that and he said it was fine but I expressed that the floor looked gross and we didn’t have a dust pan so I couldn’t get the stuff off the kitchen floor easily either. It has been literal months and we had a dog so yeah it isn’t great. It doesn’t really look horrible but it’s definitely needed. Anyways I wasn’t blaming him or anything just kind of fretting about everything aloud and he said, “you’re making me want to drink.”

This really struck a nerve. I told him it wasn’t fair to put that on me and that it was a filed up thing to say. He’s been having a hard time not drinking (but holding string) so it felt like he was making me feel responsible for his drinking. I really never complain because I’m very grateful he works hard and I can be home with our child, but I have one stressful day and he makes it about himself.

We then had a big fight about how I don’t manage my time well and every time I mention having a hard time he will say something like, “wanna trade? I’ll stay home and you can work.” He thinks I have it easy and should not have a hard time managing the home and caring for our baby who I also breastfeed. He tells me he works 50 hours a week and basically that he has to do more than me. I feel like he’s not appreciating/validating how much I do. He thinks I could do more and it’s not that much because our house is small (honestly kinda part of the problem cuz there’s nowhere to put anything).

My baby sleeps well at night but doesn’t really nap and only really lets me put her down for maybe an hour in the morning where she will play by herself. Otherwise I am holding or wearing her or bouncing her in her bouncer when my upper body needs a break. I read to her and take her on walks and all the regular baby stuff.

I also cook dinner, make him lunch, and usually breakfast of some kind too. I do laundry and dishes. Care for my dog. And yea pretty much all the day-to-day baby stuff. He works 12-hr shifts a few days a week and one shorter shift, all overnight. So he generally sleeps during the day and I try to let him sleep as much as he needs. So I’ll wake him up with food ready and let him sleep til the last possible second. I understand his long days are exhausting and I want to be as helpful as I can be. I fully respect that he works very hard but he doesn’t seem to think that I do. I did not make this a game of comparisons but he did. I generally just think we are a great team and we both do our best. No scorekeeping.

This is not a common occurrence at all. We get along very well and both express our appreciation for each other all the time. He will come home
And specifically mention things he notices that I did and thank me. So I usually feel appreciated. But this seems to contradict that.

He even said this was not how I normally am. That this kind of emotional reaction is unusual and not like me. SO MAYBE CUT ME SOME SLACK? Maybe I am genuinely not coping well and need support??? But instead I get told (I’m paraphrasing) to try harder and stop stressing him out.

Also he said that his comment about drinking wasn’t out of line and lots of people say that all the time and “it’s a thing.” I might be overreacting there idk but it set me off. I don’t want to be responsible for his bad habits and have to walk on eggshells to avoid causing him to do harm to his wellbeing. I don’t feel like I should be made to feel responsible for his feelings especially when I wasn’t even upset at him or anything, just venting. I don’t focus on the stress in my life most days and keep a happy face on for him because I don’t want to add to his plate and he said he does that for me too. I just feel like I can acknowledge that he works hard and deals with stress and perseveres but he won’t give me that in return. At least not without the caveat of, “but I would be able to do it better if we switched, and you *could* do better too if you just managed your time.”

He also said he has taken care of the baby when he lets me sleep in a couple times a week (MAX) and he can get stuff done while she sleeps and he finds it easy but like.. a few hours at a time vs 24/7… is he serious???

I have ADHD and no meds. Can’t smoke weed to cope or anything which I did daily for like 10-15 years before getting pregnant. And could drink but I don’t really enjoy it. So yeah I am scattered and stressed and rawdogging life with a new baby and no sleep. At least he has weed. At least he clocks out.

So yeah I cried a LOT. He left for a while and came back and went to bed.

TL;DR- SAHM to a 4 m/o and stressed about preparing for company and my husband said I make him want to drink, that it’s not that hard, and I need to manage my time better. I feel like he doesn’t think I work as hard as him. He says he would switch and manage it all better than me while I work.

My daughter is 3.5 months old and she’s my first so I’m not sure what normal looks like.

At night she sleeps pretty long stretches (~5 hours) and wakes to eat and then goes back to sleep. During the day she probably eats every two hours on average but often just hangs out on my boob for an hour and nurses. I occasionally pump and bottle feed and if I had to guess, she eats 4-5 oz each time. Sometimes she stops or falls asleep and I pump the rest and then she will act hungry and I give it to her and she finishes it not long after nursing. I haven’t been able to freeze any in a couple weeks because she will eat whatever she can.

I know you can’t overfeed a breastfed baby, but she will just eat and eat on the boob and then she is super full and spits up multiple times usually after each feed. I keep her upright for a while and then she spits up sometimes over an hour past when she ate. It makes me feel like she’s taking in too much.

We haven’t been to the pediatrician in a few weeks so I’m not sure how much she weighs but she was born at 36 weeks and was 6 pounds 6 ounces so kinda big for a late preemie. She has gotten sooo chubby and it’s absolutely adorable lol I can’t get over the rolls and I’m not concerned about her size, it’s just another thing that makes me wonder if she is taking in too much.

She is a good sleeper and generally very happy. She really only fusses when she’s hungry if I don’t get to her in time. But usually her hunger cues (eating her hands lately and rooting) work and I feed her before she even cries.

Anyone else experience this? Shes been doing it a while so I don’t know if it’s cluster feeding.

I have had godawful periods for many years. I’m talking *blinding* pain, vomiting, migraines, and very heavy bleeding.

I got my first period after the birth of my daughter (ftm) at 10 weeks pp and I’m now at 12 weeks. It was literally painless. The bleeding was what I can only assume a normal period is. Not spotting but not huge clots and messes.

I have only heard of the first period being super bad and was dreading it. I guess I just don’t know what to expect going forward.

Did anyone else have a mild first period? Did it stay that way?

My PMDD has unfortunately returned and I did get a migraine on the last day but I’ve had migraines my whole life. Can’t have it all. 🤷🏼‍♀️

ETA: my supply was also unaffected by this, I’m wondering if that’s gonna stick too or if I should make sure to have extra before the next one.

Thanks!

My husband and I are seasoned campers. We were actually homeless once and lived at campgrounds. We have lots of equipment and know some great campsites (WNC wooo).

We have a 3 month old baby and I really want to go camping for our belated first Mother’s Day celebration. She’s little and a happy/easy baby especially outside. We have a little portable bassinet and I breastfeed so we don’t have to worry about keeping milk cold or cleaning bottles. But I still forget things when packing her up to go somewhere and I want to make sure we are covering all our bases.

So what should we be considering?

Thawed a bag of milk from March today and my baby made a “yuck” face when I gave it to her. Tasted it, yup. Pennies.

I have been trying to build my milk stash up and I’m super bummed. Fortunately she will still drink it, but I feel bad! What a gross taste.

I hate the idea of scalding it and losing the antibodies and some vitamins :( I know freezing immediately helps but it still turns gross in the freezer over time (hence the older milk being a problem).

Ugh. I’m sad. I wanted to pump enough to donate. I guess I could still donate scalded ones?

My baby is 12 weeks old so not old enough to add vanilla. I’ll save the milk for when I can do that though.

Any other advice?

I have seen SO MANY posts today about women having a disappointing Mother’s Day because the husband doesn’t do enough/anything. But each of these posts also explains how “just this once I don’t want to be the one to cook/clean/plan/wake up with the kids.” Talking about how dad never does any of these things.

So… Mother’s Day is kind of a litmus test for whether or not he’s a good husband. I’m sure there are exceptions but by and large these men just suck.

I hope today was the straw that broke the camels back for some of you, and you leave. Life is so much harder in a bad relationship than it is being single. Being single you have no expectations to disappoint you. Constantly being let down is so much worse than occasionally being lonely. It is more lonely being with someone who makes you feel unworthy and invisible. It hurts the soul.

This is my first Mother’s Day and everything I just went through just this past year is enough for me to feel very entitled to a little celebration. Many of you have kids you’ve spent years sacrificing yourself for. Some of you have multiple. Day in and day out you show up for your kids. You deserve a standing ovation (and dinner, flowers, cards, *recognition*).

Happy Mother’s Day you beautiful queens.

This is going to be a doozy so thanks in advance.

My husband and I recently had a baby (10weeksF). His parents (50s) have always been sweet to me and his family threw our baby shower (and went ALL OUT). His mom came to visit when our daughter was born and was just so helpful and thoughtful and sweet. She cried having to leave our baby last time. I have told my husband many times how grateful I am to have such an awesome MIL.

His “dad” is his step dad who has been in his life since he was a toddler. I do think for context it is relevant that they were pretty abusive towards him as a child. He was “difficult” and they were marines. I was angry with his parents for years and had a hard time getting past what I knew but my husband seems to have made peace with it all an his relationship with them was much better. His mom especially has become a very sensitive soul. He has two younger siblings who had a very different childhood from his.

Well, the issue comes with what’s been going on in the Middle East. My husband and I pay attention and have just been getting more and more angry at the people doing so much evil and the people who support it. Turns out his parents support it. He has spent months now trying to enlighten them and it only makes things worse. They want to argue back/be right and he just wants them to understand what seems like us to be straight facts. The conclusion he has come to is they are racist and genocidal, even when it comes to babies and children. He spent weeks telling me he doesn’t want to let our daughter hang out with them when she gets big enough to speak because “I wouldn’t let her hang out with racists.” And I do completely understand his point. It is hard to argue.

Well this came to a head when he saw a video of an interview that just broke him. He sent it to his mom with something like, “I want to believe you’re not a complete monster but I’m losing faith” or something like that. Went on to explain that he doesn’t want our daughter around people with their views when she can talk. It was pretty cold. She got super hurt and canceled her plans to visit (even though he said he would be cordial lol). She remarked on his mental health as a factor and said she’s done.

I was not with him when he sent it and I didn’t know how harsh he was (calling her a monster). He pushed me to say something myself or respond in a particular way when she reached out and I did not want to get involved but his mom talks to me a lot. I guess I felt like I had to back him up because he’s my partner and how he deals with his family and setting boundaries with them for his child is up to him. So I basically told her he seems stable and that I agree with his worldview and stand by his decision.

Upon reflection, he does not seem as stable as I thought. Our baby is new and we are both super sleep deprived and just going through big changes and I didn’t notice. He acknowledged this and regrets being so harsh and he did apologize via text and got no reply (he might be blocked). He still stands by his boundary though.

My stomach has been in knots and I’ve cried a few times since then (it was like a week and a half ago). I have so many feelings about this and I don’t know how to reconcile them. I agree with how he sees the world and understand wanting to protect our kid. But if I really think about it, I think his parents would be good to have in our daughter’s life. I want her to know her grandparents. My grandparents were probably a bit racist but I loved them and it never came up and my life is better having known them. My parents also share this shitty worldview and I know he’s going to be just as opposed to our daughter spending time with my parents and that makes me really sad. Our relationship has been rough (mine and my parents) and only recently got smoothed over and I also think they’re a net positive for my kid.

I want to apologize to his mom and extend an olive branch but I don’t know what I can/should say. My sister (27F) actually isn’t talking to my parents because of the same stuff and it makes me wonder if I’m wrong for wanting to keep a relationship going with these people. If I’m not, do I even have a right to keep a relationship with them if he doesn’t want one? What is actually best for my daughter in the long run?

We are just new parents trying our best. We are tired. We are both a bit mentally unstable (bipolar 2). We are devastated and sickened by what is happening to other children just like ours who were just born in a very unfortunate time and place. I am in uncharted territory on so many levels. I don’t know what to do.

When they canceled their plans he was bummed and told me to tell his mom he would just stay out of the way if they wanted to visit me and our daughter. I didn’t say anything about that to her though. It was all so chaotic and I don’t want to try to fix things and then have everything blow up in her face again.

Really hoping for some insight. I’ve never needed it so badly. Thanks guys. 💔