u/heartpixi

we were super close for years before this, and every friday would go to the local roller skating rink together. that used to be the hangout spot when i was growing up. she met a guy she really liked there, and they started dating.

a few months went by and she started to seem withdrawn from a lot of social situations. she would still want to hangout sometimes, but she wouldn’t come skating anymore, stopped coming to school, and i realized pretty quickly to stop asking questions about it because it was making her uncomfortable and she seemed to withdrawal even further.

after a bit of this, she just disappeared. completely unable to be reached. nobody really knew what was going on, but everyone was worried about her. i had heard rumors that she ran away from home with the guy she had been seeing, but rumors are just that. rumors.

today i was on instagram, and while on my random shitpost acc, i got a follow request from an acc with only 13 followers and no name attached to it. i assumed it was another random shitpost acc, so i accepted the request and requested to follow them back.

it was her. she’s happy, healthy, still with the guy she ran away from home with, and apologized for disappearing. i was mostly just happy to see that she was alive. i have spent almost a decade worried about her and wondering what actually happened.

she messaged me and apologized for disappearing for so long, and explained that she did run away with that guy, and they’re still together. she stopped talking to people because she knew for months before that she was gonna run away, but didn’t want to tell anyone because she didn’t want anyone to know where she was.

she said she wanted to try to rebuild her life at 18 and wanted her friends back, but since it had been so long she didn’t know how to do it. she’s finally reaching back out to all her old friends and explaining her situation. 4 years into being an adult.

i am so happy for her that she’s finally happy and i love knowing that she’s been safe and taken care of for all this time. i feel like these types of stories usually don’t end well, and that’s what i was always scared of. but i’m so happy to know that everything went exactly how she wanted and she’s finally able to build a life she’s happy with

pushing paint brushes against a plate
until it mirrors the image that i’m better
or of a happy dinner with my friends
so they don’t say i need help again

i could wear the white dress
and stare into the walls
until they’re making fun of me
and they say i’ll feel pretty
but i never wanted to be pretty
i wanted to be art

how much shame can i contain?
tucked discreetly into pockets
napkins folded like origami
and nobody notices
i’m being consumed at the table
what a lovely performance
and i love art

so much that i still spill rotten teeth
into the white ceramic bowl
while i’m trying to remember what it’s like
to feel comfortable in the space i occupy
constructing an interest in destroying myself
from the inside out
and it was never supposed to be pretty
i wanted to be art

i know for some people, this is a given, or unhelpful advice, but, i know the very large majority of people don’t floss. i was one of those people. my sister started doing it, and i made a few passing jokes about it, because i thought it was overkill. she explained to me why it REALLY was necessary, and had me try it, and then smell the floss id just used. it was HORRIBLE. i brush my teeth atleast twice a day, and i was completely blown away. it smelled like a concentrated, absolutely filthy aquarium. i’m embarrassed for walking around with others possibly smelling it. it was absolutely horrible.

FLOSS YOUR TEETH. i never realized how important it was but it is VERY important. if you don’t believe me, get some, floss 2-3 spots, and then smell it. you’ll be just as horrified as i was.

i know for some people, this is a given, or unhelpful advice, but, i know the very large majority of people don’t floss. i was one of those people. my sister started doing it, and i made a few passing jokes about it, because i thought it was overkill. she explained to me why it REALLY was necessary, and had me try it, and then smell the floss id just used. it was HORRIBLE. i brush my teeth atleast twice a day, and i was completely blown away. it smelled like a concentrated, absolutely filthy aquarium. i’m embarrassed for walking around with others possibly smelling it. it was absolutely horrible.

FLOSS YOUR TEETH. i never realized how important it was but it is VERY important. if you don’t believe me, get some, floss 2-3 spots, and then smell it. you’ll be just as horrified as i was.

i know subs can kind of get overrun with people looking for games, so i understand if that’s not allowed, however, looking at the rules it seems to be okay? but it just makes me wonder because i don’t think ive seen anyone else trying to host a run on here.

anyway, my highest day is 982 and ive reached that spot multiple times, but my phone would always crash at that same spot. but i got a new phone. so i feel like id be able to get a new highest day with it, and im looking for people interested in 1000+. a slot will be taken by my bf, but, im looking for 3 other people with atleast 500 days if possible. it’s not strict, so if your highest day is close to 500, 450 maybe even a bit lower, im not going to flat out reject you, dont hesitate to dm me because if i dont find 3 ppl over 500, thats exactly where im going to turn.

also, im interested in gem focused runs where we stronghold as much as possible, so even if you aren’t in my attempt to get to 1k, id be more than happy to have gem focused runs with you guys

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i even have 2 reminders set on my phone to take my meds, and if you ask me if i took my meds everyday, i’d probably tell you yes. genuinely believing i did. it’s the end of the month and i have 16 leftover vyvanse and 26 and a half leftover adderall so more than half the time, i actually didn’t take my morning vyvanse, and barely touched my afternoon adderall at all.

i keep wondering every month why my pills aren’t working, but how can they? they just sit in the bottle. i got a pill organizer a while ago hoping it would help me, and it did for a while, but now i always forget to refill it. that’s empty on my floor too.

i thought these things were supposed to be addictive. i almost wish i was addicted, because atleast then, id remember to take them.

i was 17 (i’m 22 now) and in an abusive relationship and unfortunately got taken advantage of. i had a plan b the morning after, but i know its not always effective. and i was so scared of judgement, i payed close to $30 extra to have it delivered via doordash instead of going to get it. i was too scared to do anything, but my best friend (who was 18 at the time) who i trusted took me to buy a pregnancy test when it was long enough that a test would be able to tell.

she wanted me to try buying it on my own to build confidence that it was okay. she was behind me the whole time, but i was the one who carried it and set it on the belt. when the woman scanned it, she asked for my ID. i told her i didn’t have it on me, but that i was pretty sure you didn’t need an ID to buy a pregnancy test. and you don’t. she then asked me “well how old are you?” and i told her 17, i was honest, and she told me she wouldn’t sell it to me because she was uncomfortable.

i’m not sure if that’s legal, but regardless, my friend behind me WENT OFF on this lady. she said “you won’t sell it to her, well then FUCK IT. i’ll buy it. i’m 18, here’s my ID. you have no idea what her circumstances are and you have no right to deny someone of even just KNOWING if they’re pregnant” and the woman replied “ i just think 17 is a little young” and that’s when i said “do you think you denying me a test will change what has already happened?” and she said “no, i just don’t want to encourage it”

that’s when my friend said “encourage it? she got assaulted. nice to know how you see people just looking for an answer.” then the woman got quiet and just let us pay and leave.

now that i’m older, im even more pissed than i originally was. i must be a whore because i had to buy a pregnancy test a few months before the date where she’d suddenly think it’s okay. and it hurt even more that it was coming from another woman, but i know she probably just has so much internalized misogyny that she has no idea how fucked up that actually was

i could almost guarantee if a 17 year old boy came in to buy a pregnancy test, he’d probably be seen as responsible. let a young woman do it and she’s simply just a whore. even to some women. it’s gross

when things are going okay, and things are steady, i get too bored and it almost feels unbearable, and i tend to self sabotage and put myself in dangerous situations almost on purpose. i’ve been raped, mugged, stalked to the point i would receive photos of my own house at night, and i’m always very upset after the fact, but when it’s happening, i feel like i need it like i need air. i almost feel fed from the chaos. it doesn’t make it any less torturous though. i know this is an issue, but alot of the time when things are “steady”, im like “welp, what now?”

i’m inbetween jobs rm. i have no income and im running off of my old pocket change. im also an alcoholic. i can admit that. was walking to the next store to spend my last $6 (in quarters) on alcohol and i got stopped. someone pulled a knife on me, i told him i don’t have anything worthwhile, and emptied my pockets. it was my phone, which is trackable, and $6 in quarters. he mumbled some shit under his breath and left. i got let go. ever be so broke a robber lets you go? i’m glad it didn’t end worse, but shit :/

i was at grateful fest 2025 at nelson ledges quarry park. great place. but there’s one experience that has stuck out to me through everything and every show.

a woman approached my camp just to hang out and talk. she seemed super cool. few hours in, we got the fire going, and i had shared some drinks and sausages i had brought with her and she was super appreciative. just all around great vibe. i had accidentally overdone it and was more drunk than i should’ve been and was trying to tend to the fire. i had scavenged for wood in some woods by my house before going, but since i was carrying most on foot, my firewood wasn’t the best. so she shared some with me.

i was on my way to the fire to add a log, and i can admit i was more intoxicated than i should’ve been. i hadn’t drank for months prior and lost all the tolerance i had, but tried to follow my same drinking habits so i was unintentionally SLOSHED. i tripped over something and was heading face first towards the fire, but she had AMAZING reflexes and jumped out of her chair and tackled me away from the fire which stopped me from landing in it. i genuinely don’t know how she even managed to be quick enough. even faster than gravity, but i think of her all the time.

i know i would’ve survived the fall, but i definitely would’ve been badly burned and would’ve lost my hair. i can admit im a bit of a vain woman. my appearance is a bit important to me. my hair is one of my favorite features and i’ve been growing it for years. it’s down to my butt and with all the money i’ve spent on bleach and hair dye over the years to keep it green, i’d be heartbroken to lose it. even if it does grow back. and if i had bad facial burns, i think id struggle for the rest of my life to feel beautiful.

that’s not even touching on the possibilities of it actually giving me a debilitating injury. i imagine your eyes and fire don’t mix too well. i think if she wasn’t there, and i had landed in the fire, i probably would have ended my life. if not, id definitely struggle horribly with my self image to the point my life would basically feel over to me.

i never caught her name. i really wish i did. but it was an amazing experience to joke and laugh, to share, and live in the moment with a stranger, and for them to care so much to risk landing in the fire with me to save me.

i’m not sure if this is a stupid question, but i’ve been on the ring and i love using heating pads when i have back pain or am cramping, but when i thought more about it, it’s been making me paranoid.

the ring has to be stored refridgerated because heat makes the hormones expel out of the ring faster, and higher heat speeds it up even more, which could ruin it. i sometimes use a heating pad and during some rough points, i’ve used it 20+ days in a single month on high.

its summer now, so i haven’t been using it, but im worried if this could become an issue again later

if you want to get past floor 10, you kinda have to join a run off of discord. however, the people who play discord runs are literally the most rude and unforgiving people i have ever met. every single time i have played, people dog pile on and bash either a certain person or a certain shelly duo. every. single. time. there was one time someone i saw seemed to just not know what “duoing” was, and everyone was so incredibly mean to them that even though it’s been over a year and i’ve played hundreds of games since, my sister knew exactly what time i was talking about just from saying “the time with the dino shelly duo”.

i always just stay quiet, i don’t like to get involved, so i only speak to give call outs. but today, the dog pile was on me and it’s honestly disgusting how people in this fandom talk to each other over minor mistakes and it makes playing this game almost miserable. i’ve played hundreds, maybe thousands of discord runs and my sister and i both have a HF of over 100, so i know we aren’t bad at the game, and i know im not just getting unlucky with runs. there’s always someone who’s singled out and torn to shit for almost nothing.

i was shelly duoing with my sister. this all started because someone opened a rodger capsule behind me while i was on a machine. so i got hit. the person who opened it on me apologized in chat, and someone goes “i haven’t even been hit once😂” and other people started going on ab how they haven’t been hit either and were hating on me, even though you could tell by the chat that it wasn’t my fault. it was around floor 40, and it was also the first time i had been hit. so even if it was my fault, i feel
like it’s crazy to act weird over someone being hit once in ab 40 floors. so i said “sorry. someone opened a rodger capsule behind me”. i didnt even say who because i didnt want the dog pile to get them.

a few rounds later, my sister who was my duo was late getting to elevator because she was grabbed by squirm, and then there was a tendril at the entrance to the room with the elevator with no time to go all the way around the map to the other side. the distractor stayed out of elevator to make sure she wasn’t going to be hit, and someone in chat said “just go in next time.” to the distractor.

a few rounds later, one of the people in the other duo said something ab how we should “stick to the left like we’re supposed to” because they had to do a machine on our side. i knew the exact machine they were talking about, and i skipped it on purpose to come back to because the distractor was distracting in front of it. i said that, and someone else said something about how i “need to practice”. but if i did the machine, i know id be yelled at for getting in the distractors way, and if i waited, they’d have had a lot more time to do more than just one machine on our side. so i said they needed manners. then sprout seemed to get me hit on purpose. so i lost the twisted they put on me, and just said “bruh” in chat. the sprout didn’t heal me and they had said a few rounds before that they had 2.2k tapes.

this made things worse. ppl started dogging on me for getting hit again. and once again, even if it was my fault, accidents happen. but it wasn’t. but they seem to not care. it seems like the discord runs just like having someone to hate. i self healed, and then the next round, glisten popped and i watched a shelly purposely get glisten on them and then run to me while i was on a machine and i ended up dying. my sister left when i died, and i didn’t stick around to see what people said, but ive seen this happen to so many people before its happened to me and its literally so disgusting. people wonder why the game is dying and then they treat each other like shit. i’d hate to be a new player at this time. i wouldn’t get into it either with this fan base.

my bedroom gets ants every summer for some reason. i haven’t been home much recently, so i didn’t notice that they were already back this year. i was eating a beef stick in bed and wanted to save the rest for later, so i set it on my windowsill to come back to later. i picked it up a few minutes ago, and there was maybe 10 ants on it and a few more i saw on the way. i threw the beef stick away, and put a wasabi pea where i had the beef stick laying.

the goal is to fry the shit out of the ants mouths and have the colony chastise the original scouter, and either get him jumped by the colony or have the colony lose their respect for him. i wish i knew where they were hiding out so i could see what they do to him

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