u/heisfullofshit

Hello

I'm introverted, sensitive and a bit eccentric. I feel strongly about human rights and I have progressive values. I am a feminist. I love books, and I have a cat.

I am very intelligent, it’s my most noticeable quality, and I’m proud of that. Unfortunately, I am afraid I’m gonna waste my intelligence unless I get some guidance.

I’m not looking for someone who’s an entrepreneur entrepreneur and I don’t care about how much you have. I am not interested in startups, AI or computers in general. I am looking for a maker or an intellectual - ideally both. Someone creative, an academic, a writer, an analogue photographer, a professor, maybe even a doctor (I started med school, and I’m trying really hard to like medicine again).

I have many defects and I’ll mention some here so people can decide whether they are tolerable or not. I’m pessimistic, and I can fall victim to inertia - some call it depression. I cry easily. I’m demanding, skeptical, opinionated, combative, too honest and socially awkward.

I look reasonably good, if that matters. I am not looking for any kind of romantic or sexual relationship, though.

Hello.

I saw a similar question, but I couldn’t find any helpful information among the comments.

What I am not looking for: a life coach, a friend, a sexual or romantic relationship. Suggestions to seek a doctor or therapy. Please, focus on what I asked.

What I am looking for: a mentor

I am smart. Really. I’m not bragging, I’m trying to get my point across. That’s what I’ve been known for my whole life and now I even got an official IQ test to prove it (I had to take the test to get my adhd diagnosis). But I won’t do anything with my life unless I get some help or guidance urgently.

I am not a maker. I don’t have focus. I need someone I look up to, someone great, stern but also kind. How can I find this person? How can I ask them to mentor me? Why would they bother with me?

The person I’d like to be my mentor (Alex Horne) is completely outside of my reach.

Hey

Please, be nice, it took me a long time to ask for help. 😔

I am ashamed to say that, right now, I have more or less 9,000 tabs open on Safari, on my cellphone. I have hundreds of open tabs on my iPad. I also have enough open tabs on my macbook to make it very slow (but I believe this’s mostly because its 2tb HD is almost full at this moment).

I can’t barely use my cellphone. Those tabs are mostly stuff I wanna buy, books I wanna read and that I haven’t yet added to my Amazon wishlist, wikipedia articles and resources for learning interesting stuff (chess, greek mythology, fountain pens, anything, really)

Everything is so interesting!!! I don’t wanna close my tabs! I wanna read everything! I wanna learn everything! I also wanna buy a lot of pretty things, but that’s a different issue.

What can I do? Please? 😭🥺

I try to close them, it never helps. I close ten, but in the same day I open twenty more. I’m really lost here.

Hello

So, I wanna write, maybe post some pictures, but I don’t know where. I thought about setting up a wordpresss account and creating a website/blog, but people even do that anymore? (i wish they did)

I know about Medium, but I’ve never used it. I know everyone has a substack right now, but honestly, I hate it. I subscribed to a few, and now they junk up my inbox. And when I wanna read something I don’t go to my email, so they just sit there, unopened.

Any suggestions? Thank you for your time, good people.

[I’m not exactly young anymore. The title comes from a song that I liked and that seemed otherwise appropriate.]

I’m smart. Really.

I’m never gonna do anything with it, though. I’m too traumatized, too depressed. I spend half of every month curled up in bed because of endometriosis and PMDD.

I’m bad at every practical aspect of life. I’m clueless. I don’t fit in. Talking to people is exhausting and confusing.

I’m in the middle of nowhere, away from Cambridge, the Sorbonne, museums, theaters, art, writers - everything interesting. I’m not where great things happen. But I can’t just leave, I have to think about my family.

I know the things I mentioned aren’t insurmountable obstacles. But I am broken. I know I won’t get anywhere.

There isn’t anyone I can ask for advice or guidance. I wish I had a mentor. Someone kind who cared about me, and who would tell me what to do. Someone I looked up to, someone great.

Thank you.

I’ve been reading some and I don’t think they are realistic at all, but I can’t be sure: I’m a bisexual woman.

What are your thoughts on literary gay sex scenes? This subject has been really weighing on my mind recently.

Over the last month, the subject of erotic humiliation (and a few related topics) has been bothering me a lot. I have been trying to fully understand it, but it hasn’t been easy.

Could anyone, please, suggest an academic book about the subject?

So far, I’ve only read Enough to make you blush, by Princess Kali, that despite not being academic at all, provided interesting insights. I also found books about humiliation in non-sexual contexts, and I still don’t know if they are worth reading or not.

Oh! One more thing, just in case someone here knows about it. Do people ever have a fetish for eating weird or disgusting food because someone tells them to do so? Eg: chocolate+salami, a whole pat of butter, liquids with saliva in it, dirty food, dog food, dog biscuits, eating a whole pie with their hands etc. Does it have a name? Comedy? lol What is this about? The food, the humiliation, being bossed around, none of this…? I don’t get it.

Hey there,

So… how’s everyone?

Forgive me for writing so much. It’s hard for me to express myself. This issue has been tormenting me for a while. Give this ridiculously long post a chance, pretty please?

(*Please*, read carefully, I’m afraid of being misunderstood about a sensitive topic 🙏🏻)

Is there something in common between:

- BDSM (especially when the person agrees to be in situations of *physical pain, discomfort or humiliation*)

- Self-harm

- Performance art (eg: think about how many performance artists put their bodies through extreme conditions. More about it below.)

- Some types of comedy. I can’t think of many examples, but I’ll try. (Sacha Baron Cohen in Brüno. He puts himself through insane situations, sometimes dangerous, always unhinged. Alex Horned in the British comedy panel show Taskmaster. Alex is the creator, writer and show producer, yet he cast himself as a submissive assistant and let someone else be the Taskmaster. More about that below.)

You can read the *** in the end first, if you want to know more about performance art and comedy right now. (Sorry, I know this is confusing. 😥 ) lIf you are familiar with performance art, Brüno and Taskmaster, no need to bother, skip the ***.

More clarification about the question: I noticed, anecdotally, that people who are interested in one of the things I mentioned seem to be also interested in another one of them. Could it be something more than coincidence? Is it possible that those things scratch the same “itch” on people? If so, what itch is that?? I don’t understand it!!! 😵‍💫

Is there any research or book about this?

Assuming that there is a connection between at least two of those things: what is it about? Pain? Vulnerability? Letting go? Relinquishing control? How important is the physical aspect? - in all of the situations I mentioned, people let unpleasant stuff happen to their own bodies - or do it themselves. I’m aware BDSM is a source of pleasure, and that self harm is used to self regulate - but what about performance art and the sort of comedy I mentioned? Could a pleasure or regulatory component exist?

I honestly don’t understand it. I believe there’s something significant in there, but I don’t know what it is. It’s driving me mad. Something deeper than “all those activities require submission and loss of control”.

Thank you so much. 🤍🤍🤍

Don’t need to bother reading the rest if you are familiar with these stuff, ok? 🤍

*** More about performance art:

Marina Abramovic, a performance artist, walked half the length of the Great Wall of China, laid down in the middle of a wooden fire star until she passed out due to a lack of oxygen, carved a star on her stomach, sat on a chair for days and stared at people, scrubbed a piled of cow bones etc. There are other examples of performance artists, some much more extreme than her. I don’t have any interest in her, or her specific psychology, I am just trying to describe the behavior that draws my attention.

*** More about Brüno:

Brüno is a movie by Sacha Baron Cohen. It’s a mockumentary and Sacha plays Brüno, a gay man, but he interacts with real people who don’t know they are participating of a satire. In the movie, Brüno/Sacha kisses another man during a wrestling match, causing a riot that endangered him. He creates uncomfortable situations, both for him and the other people (but mostly for the other people). He dresses in clothes that I can only describe as scantly clad and humiliating.

*** More about Taskmaster:

Taskmaster is a British comedy panel show where comedians compete by completing absurd tasks. But, there’s a gimmick. Supposedly, the Taskmaster, Greg Davies, is the person who comes up with the crazy tasks, and they are completed to please him. And, the Taskmaster has an assistant, Alex Horne, who is awkward, submissive and eager to please Greg. But that’s just for the show. In fact, Alex Horne created Taskmaster, he chose to cast himself as a submissive assistant, he writes every single task and he produces the show. He’s everyone’s boss.

If it was just that, fine, but the humiliation that happens during the show gets pretty intense, because contestants, sometimes, use Alex to complete their tasks. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t know Alex is, ultimately, in control of the situation. It would’ve been cruel.

Examples:
- People mock his appearance.
- He has been treated as an object during tasks. People sat on him multiple times. He also carried contestants around on his back.
- He sat on a cake with his bare ass.
- He ate dog food.
- He was told to pull down his pants or take off his shirt more times than I can count.
- A participant put Alex in bikinis then removed the bottom part, and the camera crew got to film their boss’s bare ass again
- He laid down in a puppy bed by the Taskmaster’s feet
- The Taskmaster put a collar on him and walked him off stage

I mean, why? For the comedy? But this isn’t what usually happens, it’s an outlier. Comedians generally hire a minority and make them be the butt of the joke. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like that, I don’t watch this sort of thing.

I hope it’s ok that I didn’t proofread this, I haven’t slept and I’m very tired.

I live in Brasil but location doesn’t matter. I’m an introverted and intelligent woman. I feel more grounded when I have someone to look up to and act as a role model. I enjoy people who teach me new things.

I feel strongly about human rights and I have progressive values. I am a feminist.

Some of my character flaws: I’m pessimistic and I love complaining about stuff. I can fall victim to inertia. I’m very sensitive. I cry easily. I am opinionated. I think having debates is exciting and fun, but I just learned people in general find that annoying. I am too honest and very socially awkward.

Some of my interests: cardiology and heart surgery, fountain pens, analog photography, writing, books and new languages. I enjoy learning almost everything, so feel free to reach out even if your area of expertise isn’t any of those or if you feel like you have something to say, or an interesting life story - and most importantly, if you’d find joy having your own little padawan.

I’m not looking for a sexual relationship.

I feel the need to clarify that I’m not looking for a free tutor or lessons of any kind. lol

Hey there, how’s everyone?

>> I would like to understand how flirting works.Is there any book, theory or academic text about it?

I don’t wanna learn how to flirt! I’m also not interested in self-help books. 😅

I first heard about the Face negotiation theory a few months ago and it blew me away. Now, I’m looking for something just as interesting that describes flirting.

Tbh, if there’s a good book or theory explaining any kind of human interaction, I’d love to hear about it. I think this is all very cool. And, one day, it might help me being a little less socially inept. lol no high hopes though

Btw, until recently I never really understood what English speakers meant by lose/save face. I knew what they meant by it, but I never questioned why they used the word face. In my native language, “face” isn’t used like that in everyday speech.

Thank you 🖤

Well, basically, I was wondering whether intelligent people are more likely to be lonely.

I was reading one of those Very Short Introductions books, and it says that IQ actually is a good measure of intelligence. I used to think it was just pop psychology. So, that’s why I mentioned it in the question.

I’ve been trying to find an answer for this question by myself, but I lack the knowledge and experience to interpret the papers.

I noticed that a lot of the research focuses on marriage, and I do wonder whether intelligence isn’t an asset for a woman pursuing a heterosexual relationship. That might just be a preconceived notion about society that I’ve internalized, though.

I am also interested in the relationship between intelligence (all individuals) and loneliness more generally (the feeling itself, and any sort of relationships).

Thank you already for any answer 🙏🏻