The Desire for Love

Love, when you first breathe it, is like taking in fresh air for the first time and realising what you had been breathing before was poison.

Love, when you first meet it, has a smile so warm it melts whatever coldness you never knew you held inside of you.

Love, when it first touches you, makes you feel as alive as the day your mother first held in her arms.

But love ensnares you, and like the ugly jaws of a beast, it refuses to release you from its grasp.

And then, suddenly, it abandons you.

Love when it leaves, leaves a wound so deep, a hollow so profound, that no matter how much I dug, no amount of sand could ever fill it.

Love when it left, had me running like a madman, chasing a high that had me plummeting toward my own death.

But it was okay.

Because for the first time I could see the beauty of the sky above those dark clouds.

Wanting something so badly that you are willing to burn for it is like a junkie chasing that first high–the one that made every high after feel like a pale imitation.

And love for me was that drug.

And now I desire love.

I hunger for something I may never hold again, something I may never find again, and I am willing to lose myself searching for it.

You might not understand, because you will never know the tenderness of that first embrace, nor the overwhelming peace and serenity that overcame me the first time I saw her, approached her, and heard her voice.

She was my love.

And now all I can do is burn with the desire for love...

...a warmth that will never cradle me again.

- by honeylitroom

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u/honeylitroom — 1 day ago
▲ 20 r/r4rSA

20F Looking for a relationship [Johannesburg]

Status: CLOSED

I have never been in a relationship. The only times I was in "relationships" was twice but they were both online and lasted less than a month. So I have never dated anyone in real life.

I am looking for a potential bf

About me:

• 20F

• 160cm

• Uni student

• living around Johannesburg/Centurion

Preferences:

• Any race

• Male

• Be 20 - 25

• Be taller than me

I want to experience dating before I start working. That's on my bucket list. I've been online long enough to say no to creeps.

Be ready to provide a verification picture for safety and to know you're real and I'll do the same. 🫶

reddit.com
u/honeylitroom — 2 days ago
▲ 3 r/r4rSA

20F Looking for a relationship

I have never been in a relationship. The only times I was in "relationships" were twice, but they were both online and lasted less than a month. So I have never dated anyone in real life.

I am looking for a potential bf

About me:

• 20F

• 160cm

• Uni student

• Living around Johannesburg/Centurion

Preferences:

• Any race

• Male

• Be 20 - 25

• Be taller than me

I want to experience dating before I start working. That's on my bucket list. I've been online long enough to say no to creeps.

Be ready to provide a verification picture so I know you're real and serious, and I'll do the same. 🫶

reddit.com
u/honeylitroom — 2 days ago

Studying as an age regressor is hard

I dunno how others do it but studying is super hard..

I stress easy and I realise I regress a lot when its at night and get super emotional so maybe that's why im posting this..?

Waahhh... I hate studying and responsibilities (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

How do you handle it??

u/honeylitroom — 4 days ago

Cosplaying in South Africa

I want to cosplay Marin Kitagawa from My Dress-Up Darling.

I have researched as much as i could but I have no idea where I can find stores in South Africa that cater to cosplayers.

Whether its wigs, contact lenses, or anything to help put cosplays together. On top of that, there are not many websites that make cosplays that actually ship to South Africa.

This will be my very first time cosplaying. I haven't been sure who to cosplay for the longest time but now I really want to cosplay Marin!

P.S. I have already gotten my eyes checked by an optometrist. Twice! And I do have prescriptions for lenses. The problem? Finding places that sell Contact lenses that are Marin's color.

Any and all help is welcome. Even makeup tips! Thank you <3

u/honeylitroom — 5 days ago
▲ 22 r/hug

20F warm hugs

I want to be treated like a wittle princess. Roll me up in blankets and give me the warmest hugs in the world!!

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u/honeylitroom — 8 days ago

20F I made a post here previously and just attracted the worst creep

I got a lot of private messages. I responded to a few because I was overwhelmed by the influx.

Out of the many, i thought this one person i was talking to would be great. I take accountability for being an idiot because he was a red flag from the beginning. Now I know better I guess.

He argued with me so much. Imagine only knowing someone for 2 days and all they do is argue and invalidate your feelings, call you crazy, say you're freaking out, say you're projecting, and so much more.

I cussed at him. I was so mad. I kept telling him to stop arguing or i will block you and I did just that.

On top of it he kept demanding stuff like n*des then saying I should be devoted to him and whatever else.

Should I be surprised?

Cause he claimed my pictures are AI and was so rude to me in the beginning until I proved otherwise. And from there it was downhill.

I am just so upset. At myself. At the world. At this place.

I'm tired and angry.

Just when I started to be so happy and so genuinely confident in and with myself I just allowed this person to tear me down. I'm so so upset.

Edit: Thank you everyone for being so kind. I will continue to block any accounts of his if he keeps creating more just to "talk" to me. And I'm sorry for all the wonderful ladies who've had similar or worse experiences.

I feel slightly better now :')

It's never your fault being approached by creeps. 🤍 Just gotta be careful who you let in.

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u/honeylitroom — 1 month ago
▲ 26 r/AskZA

Netflix South Africa and Nudity

There is a movie I watched on Netflix.

Apparently there was nudity and I only knew from the interviews with the actors being asked whether they were uncomfortable "running naked"

Then I went and searched this up cause I was confused, and low and behold, these people were fully nude yet on Netflix there was a dark shadow covering that I thought was there in the original film and not added on.

The actors were wearing silicone "parts" cause apparently it was cold where they were filming.

I'm not a perv. Just actually curious.

Netflix South Africa doesn't allow nudity? Its surprising cause the Beauty in Black series shows everything(I didn't fact check this though, maybe they tried to censor it as much as they could). I just never knew.

I'm really wondering. Does Netflix South Africa censor nudity? I did try asking Google, but it's mixed responses.

Edit: The movie name is 28 Years Later

reddit.com
u/honeylitroom — 1 month ago

I didn't realize how much I loved being alive until I thought something was seriously wrong

These past few days I was lying in bed convinced something was seriously wrong with me.

The pain was so intense that all the things I normally worry about suddenly stopped mattering. The insecurities. The pressure. The endless list of things I want to improve about myself.

When you're focused on simply wanting to feel okay again, you gain a strange kind of clarity.

It made me realize how often people reserve appreciation for themselves until they've earned it somehow.

But being healthy enough to laugh, walk, think clearly, enjoy a meal, take a photo, call someone you love, or simply exist comfortably is already worth appreciating.

Sometimes self-love isn't learned through affirmations.

Sometimes it's learned through contrast.

What's something difficult that completely changed the way you see yourself?

u/honeylitroom — 3 months ago
▲ 10 r/AskZA

Are South African men secretly way softer than they act?

I've genuinely always been curious about something from a South African cultural perspective.

Are there South African men who are actually comfortable with women taking the lead in relationships, or is that still seen as too taboo here?

A lot of SA culture still places strong expectations on men to always lead, provide, stay emotionally hard, and never appear soft or dependent. Even emotional vulnerability in men sometimes gets judged harshly.

But online, especially internationally, I've noticed there are many men who seem drawn to more assertive women or relationship dynamics where they don't always have to be the dominant one and genuinely still enjoy spoiling, pleasing, admiring their woman.

It made me wonder whether there are South African men who feel the same way privately, but avoid speaking about it because of social or cultural pressure.

Yoh guys, I'm not asking this in a weird way 😭 I'm genuinely curious whether this exists here too, or if most SA men genuinely prefer always taking the lead. Cause realistically, people can't all be the same.

EDIT: I think some people are misunderstanding the point of the post 😭

I'm not asking whether SA men are secretly harmless saints or denying the reality of violence against women in this country.

I was asking whether there are SA men who don't relate to the very rigid expectations around masculinity, always needing to lead, always needing to be emotionally hard, etc. Basically whether softer or less traditional relationship dynamics exist here too, even if people don't openly talk about them.

Because overseas this definitely seems more openly discussed than it is here 😭 Bengingaqondile ukucasula abantu.🙏

reddit.com
u/honeylitroom — 3 months ago