u/iiiaaa2022

ich habe schon mehrere Leute über bumbleBFF uä kennengelernt, u.a. eine inzwischen sehr enge Freundin (bin eine Frau).

ich würde aber niemals Profile Matchen, in denen steht „Ich brauche ein wenig, bis ich auftaue“, „Ich bin zuerst schüchtern“, „ich erzähle zunächst nicht viel“.

wie stellen sich die Leute das vor? Ich mach die ganze Arbeit und versuche, was aus ihnen rauszukriegen? wieso schreibt man sowas rein? Ich finde das echt abschreckend.

(noch schlimmer ist nur „ich suche jemanden, der mich zum Sport machen motiviert“)

Bei meinen Eltern wurde mit unbekannter Nummer angerufen, ich hätte Dickdarmkrebs und noch 6-7 Wochen zu leben. Das Ganze ist inszeniert wie eine Theateraufführung, mit mehreren Personen in verschiedenen Rollen und richtig guten Schauspielern. Angeblich aus "Großhadern".

Die müssen richtig gut gewesen sein, meine Eltern sind eigentlich wirklich fit, was sowas angeht, stehen noch im Berufsleben, sind gut im Verhandeln, kennen viele Scams, kennen KI, etc. Zum Glück haben sie es dann durchschaut, als meine "Schwester" ans Telefon kommen sollte (sie hatten vorher behauptet, die wäre auch da), und es halt keine meiner tatsächlich vorhandenen Schwestern war.

IMMER bei der Person, beim Partner, usw. unter der bekannten Nummer selbst anrufen.

Laut Polizei München kommt das aktuell öfter vor, v.a. im Großraum München.

Im Laufe des Gesprächs wird eine große Summe gefordert für die "lebensrettende" Behandlung.

Warnt eure Eltern und Großeltern!

Bei meinen Eltern wurde mit unbekannter Nummer angerufen, ich hätte Dickdarmkrebs und noch 6-7 Wochen zu leben. Das Ganze ist inszeniert wie eine Theateraufführung, mit mehreren Personen in verschiedenen Rollen und richtig guten Schauspielern. Angeblich aus "Großhadern".

Die müssen richtig gut gewesen sein, meine Eltern sind eigentlich wirklich fit, was sowas angeht, stehen noch im Berufsleben, sind gut im Verhandeln, kennen viele Scams, kennen KI, etc. Zum Glück haben sie es dann durchschaut, als meine "Schwester" ans Telefon kommen sollte (sie hatten vorher behauptet, die wäre auch da), und es halt keine meiner tatsächlich vorhandenen Schwestern war.

IMMER bei der Person, beim Partner, usw. unter der bekannten Nummer selbst anrufen.

Laut Polizei München kommt das aktuell öfter vor.

Im Laufe des Gesprächs wird eine große Summe gefordert für die "lebensrettende" Behandlung.

Warnt eure Eltern und Großeltern!

Bei meinen Eltern wurde mit unbekannter Nummer angerufen, ich hätte Dickdarmkrebs und noch 6-7 Wochen zu leben. Das Ganze ist inszeniert wie eine Theateraufführung, mit mehreren Personen in verschiedenen Rollen und richtig guten Schauspielern. Angeblich aus "Großhadern".

Die müssen richtig gut gewesen sein, meine Eltern sind eigentlich wirklich fit, was sowas angeht, stehen noch im Berufsleben, sind gut im Verhandeln, kennen viele Scams, kennen KI, etc. Zum Glück haben sie es dann durchschaut, als meine "Schwester" ans Telefon kommen sollte (sie hatten vorher behauptet, die wäre auch da), und es halt keine meiner tatsächlich vorhandenen Schwestern war.

IMMER bei der Person, beim Partner, usw. unter der bekannten Nummer selbst anrufen.

Laut Polizei München kommt das aktuell öfter vor.

Im Laufe des Gesprächs wird eine große Summe gefordert für die "lebensrettende" Behandlung.

Warnt eure Eltern und Großeltern!

Hi everyone.

I will try to make this as short as possible and not write a novel.

I am a 43 year old woman who has two younger sisters (fraternal twins, 40). One of them is way more mellow, this is not about her. The other one, let's call her Hannah, is extremely volatile and hard to deal with. Let me explain. (She is autistic and has ADHD. Me too. I am on medication, she is not. I have been with my husband for 20 years. We live about three hours away from each other by car.)

She has good phases in which she is sweet, supportive, empathetic. Then, something small happens, like you say something to her which she perceives as some kind of attack. She will become insanely difficult to deal with, if she communicates with you at all. She becomes extremely bitchy, twists everything you say around, makes a lot of accusations, acting vile, attacking one where it really hurts (really personal) OR just stop talking to you altogether.

Things that have triggered this:

• The wrong party did too well in an election (in a state that none of us live in or were able to vote in) - she would not talk to me anymore because we do not agree on politics
• I asked her if she was gay in a loving way and after she had had a girlfriend for 2 years(!) - officially it was a "friend" - she knows I am not that dumb (she is bi)
• I asked her if she had used protection when conceiving child #1
• My husband got a big bonus and she thought that was unfair
• Benefits for parents in our country changed
• There was a hate crime against LBTQAI+ people
• My dad told her my mom was overwhelmed and she should not make so many demands
• My parents told her they would not watch her kids on NYE

Other things that are just ... out there

• She quit school a year before graduating and preferred to go to another school for additional 4 years to get her degree
• At the same time, moved out, never informed my parents, just never came home (I don't remember what they did "wrong")
• Has not been in a relationship since 2021, was single for like 8 years before that, does want a partner who pays for everything and says so openly
• The earliest I can remember her having really aggressive meltdowns is when she was about 16 months old. She would throw wooden toys - at the wall, but also at people - so my parents no choice but to close the door to the room, keep eveeryone out, and let her calm down.

Sometimes, she will not talk to you for months or years on end.

Then, at some point, she will resurface, reach out, and act like nothing ever happened.

It is literally impossible to calmly talk to her about this. Every time I ever tried, she brings the conversation to some ridicolous level ("I had more friends than you in middle school, so I must be the one in the right").

She has three kids from three dads - all officially "accidents". There is absolutely no way. She is insanely smart, we live in an European country where sex ed is extremely prevalent, and we were the best sexually educated teens even here amongst everyone I or my sisters knew. (She was not a teen mom).

Our parents are somewhat stable, but also each deal with their own issues and I think Hannah wanted to build her own "perfect family" and also make these men stay by baby-trapping them. Needless to say, that did not work. She regularly demands that my other sister and I shall take care of her kids (14,12,5) for a weekend. I do think she sometimes is absolutely unable to see others' needs. Is this the so-called "splitting"? When she has what I would call a meltdown or, in TikToky language, a crashout? Why does she trust us with her kids but then, on other times, makes us feel like we're the worst human to ever have existed?

She has a degree, a job, and makes decent money.

My parents also support her a LOT logistically, emotionally, and financially. I do not know or care how much they give her exactly. I do care that she acts like the world is unfair though because she cannot afford certain things, but at the same time orders takeout 2x a week and wears brand name clothing I personally don't buy because I find it too expensive (think Patagonia, Timberland, Lululemon). And sometimes, even asks for financial support from my other sister and me.

I love spending time with her kids, but not with her. In good phases, it can be lovely even with her, though.

I can relate to some things - I am also insanely sensitive to everything I perceive as criticism, I would cut off people rather than talk things out when I was younger, I do have mood swings (hello, perimenopause!), I do sometimes have meltdowns (small things trigger things I had already felt, but in that particular moment, everything just comes to the surface) or shutdowns, but I have worked on myself and grown immensely in these areas over the last 20+ years (diagnoses, meds, therapy, venting and talking things through with my husband, self-reflection, routines, making my life easier for myself in terms of logistics, creating a financial fund so unexpected things won't throw me off, mental health plans - for everyday life and for emergencies, you name it).

So, what is this? Could you give me some insight? Also on how to deal with this as her sister (is there even a way?)

I guess I did write a half-novel after all. Thank you for reading.

2 minutes, if that…?!

Why?!?

who the hell came up with this styling??

she is 23!

she looks 45 minimum here!

I am 42 and she looks older than me!

the hair, the makeup… an atrocity

how I hate men like that.

and he didn’t mean it in a sexual way, either. that would be okay. no kink-/preference shaming from me.

but I will shame men who want to don‘t want a woman to be their equal in life.

was soll ich sagen… sie hatten Recht. 😅

diagnostiziert mit grade 43 🫠