u/im_sold_out

I'm reading Manon Garcia's book: "We Are Not Born Submissive: How Patriarchy Shapes Women's Lives". These questions relate mostly to that book.

She takes Beauvoir's definition of a woman: (a woman is not born, she is made) and makes it into: "a woman is a person who is not born submissive, but becomes it"

She states that society makes sure that women know that they are submissive, that they view themselves as objects and that every part of their lives and their gender is foced upon them by society.

She states that a woman is, by definition, made an object, and is, by definition, the submissive party (as made by society), which took hold and is reinforced by menstruation, pregnancy and birth (all instances where a woman's body has a "mind of its own").

I tend to agree with all of that, but she neglects to say her opinion on trans issues. I'm not trans myself, so I'm not sure how to answer my own questions.

I get the body dysphoria part, but what about gender dysphoria? If the "feminine gender" is only comprised of submission and uselessness, how can someone feel like they are a part of that without being forced into it? If the only good definition of a woman is the above, what does it mean for trans women to be a woman?

I've been on this sub for a while, and I mostly identify with it, but there is one thing that kinda throws me off?

I think I might be aegosexual? Like I do have sexual fantasies with people in them that do not involve me at all. But I don't even get horny about the people in those fantasies, for me it's just the pleasure those people experience? But not in a "pleasuring you is pleasuring me" kind of way, but more like I mimic their arousal? Is that a thing? It's the only way I can really get off, by imagining feeling pleasure. That's why written porn gets me off so much, because it describes feeling arousal and pleasure very detailed. Is this a thing or did I fry my brain with too much porn?

I've been on this sub for a while, and I mostly identify with it, but there is one thing that kinda throws me off?

I've seen a lot of people here say that when they have fantasies about people they do get horny vs real life not. But I don't even get horny about the people in those fantasies, for me it's just the pleasure those people experience? But not in a "pleasuring you is pleasuring me" kind of way, but more like I mimic their arousal? Is that a thing? It's the only way I can really get off, by imagining feeling pleasure. That's why written porn gets me off so much, because it describes feeling arousal and pleasure very detailed. Is this a thing or did I fry my brain with too much porn?

I'm looking for advice.

My brother is 18 and just graduated from high school. For about two years he's been falling deeper and deeper into weird communities. First into arm wrestling, then into body building and then into looksmaxxing. He became super aggressive, started to think he knew everything and everyone who disagreed with him was wrong. My father is a doctor and I'm a med student, and when we tried to tell him that taking random supplements without there being a need for it is not only useless, but also dangerous. When I tried telling him taht there is no scientific, medical evidence for any of it, he started screaming at us that he has done "a lot of research", that we were wrong and that we can look it up ourselves. Around Christmas it finally calmed down after my dad talked to him about it and he said social media was making him very insecure about his body. He's been healthier since then.

He's vegetarian now, which I'm very glad about, because when he was in the worst phase he kept eating half a kilogram of grilled beef (unflavoured) every day. Before that it was ten eggs for every meal.

Today I just asked him if he ate mussels (like scallops) and he said yes, because they feel no pain? And like, I'm not vegetarian, but that sounded like bs to me. A few years ago people still thought fish felt no pain, which anyone who has ever interacted with a fish knows is bs. So I was like they have nerve receptors and pain is there to avoid stuff that is dangerous and that hurts you, so it seems pretty essential for every living thing that can move (yes scallops can even swim). And when my parents asked him how he knew they felt no pain, he started raising his voice again and getting agressive for no reason and telling me to "look it up". (Looking it up actually confirmed my opinion)

Like? Wtf? Why not have a normal conversation instead of screaming everyone down who tries to argue with you? I'm not sure how to make him practice some introspection. Normally he's down to earth and asks a lot of questions and listens when I talk about smth. So whenever he has those outbursts I'm always very surprised.

Got any advice?

Context: I'm a med student. Yesterday an intoxicated patient came in and had to be held down so that we could get an arterial line in. Later he said he had to piss, so the nurses got a long bottle for him and he looked at me and slurred "the one who's holding my legs can hold my cock". Fuck that. I also couldn't understand what he said at first, so I couldn't say anything back, which makes it more humiliating.

This might get long.

I (24, F) am queer, 100%. When I was 14, I had the epiphany that I really couldn't care less what a potential sexual partner looked like or what genitals they had, and identified as pansexual until recently.

Looking back, I had a pretty big crush on my female bff since I was 12, until she left our school when I was 15. I didn't realize at the time, because I never thought terms like bisexuality could apply to me. I was pretty obvious about it, because my other friends kept asking me if I was lesbian, and I kept saying "no", because I thought I had a crush on a male childhood friend at the time. And I didn't think about it. I'm pretty sure I imagined that crush on him though? Like in primary school I let myself be peer pressured into that crush, so I'll never know if I was actually ever interested in him. I know for sure I never wanted to have sex with him, but neither with my bff.

Then I developed a serious crush on my other female best friend, Anna. I slowly started to treat her as my girlfriend. At first it was a joke, but it slowly became reality for me. I let her sit in my lap, which she always liked to do. When I was on holiday I always wrote her sappy poems (again, as a joke, but I took it way too seriously), I shared my food with her, I kept finding excuses to be in her space. We called each other sappy pet names. I really wanted to kiss her. She went along with all of that, even encouraged it, but she was 100% straight. I think she just liked that I would do anything for her and the ego boost. Embarrassingly, I even suggested doing a pretend lesbian wedding as a joke, which is the only thing she ever shut down.

While all of that was going on, I met my current boyfriend when I was 16. He was Anna's friend as well at the time. He left a very positive first impression, by running around the classroom with a gigantic pride flag. Another friend of mine asked who I'd want to dance with at our school ball, and I said him, because I found him interesting and he was intelligent and kind. So I thought I'd start talking to him and see if I like him. I remember loving our conversations, how they always flowed very natural. I could say nothing and still enjoy his presence, and he made me laugh a lot. I wanted to get closer, and I did my best to make him interested as well. Texting him made me giddy and we'd talk and text constantly. We got together 3 months later and have been together ever since.

For the first year of our relationship, I still had a crush on Anna though. I kept fantasizing about a three-way relationship. That went on until I broke off our friendship because she kept treating me like her personal butler, and not a friend.

About sex:

Before I got together with my boyfriend I had sex with two different men, not out of attraction, but because I was curious. It felt like nothing tbh. With my boyfriend, I like being close to him, and I'm willing to have sex, but I don't get horny over him. I still masturbate and have sexual fantasies, but those never include me. I don't get horny over people's bodies, but I do find them pleasing to look at. I have thought about wanting to have sex with a few people in my life, but I think that was more about power than sexual attraction. I've thought about my boyfriend too, but when we have sex I don't lose myself in attraction or anything. I mean the sex is good, but I don't feel a particular way about it. I've never had sex with a woman.

I do love my boyfriend. He's the only person I feel 100% safe with and I tell him everything. He's the only person I want to have physical contact with. I'm just not too interested in the sex. But he's also the only real male crush I've ever had.

Am I confusing platonic and romantic love? Maybe I'm a repressed lesbian? Maybe having sex with a woman would feel differently but how will I ever know? Or am I just asexual in general? I'm very confused, please help.

Watching for the first time.

Almost everything is pretty badly written tbh. From the showrunner wanting to kill Destiel and making up bad reasons as for why Castiel and Dean can't interact with each other to the filler episodes being absolute trash. Filler episodes used to be enjoyable and fun, instead we get badly written, even more sexist plot, and unsatisfying endings (the wicked witch, bloodlines, etc). Crowley got predictable (double-crossing Abaddon, no shit sherlock), Metatrons plans were basically see-through ("Castiels bombers", seriously?), and all the characters seem to live in a world where everyone just got 10x dumber because the plot wouldn't work otherwise. The only plotline that was surprising about any of this was how Crowley set Dean up for the Mark of Cain the way he did.

Also: they suddenly decided that Castiel could only "feel guilt" by having become human? Like what? Have they watched season 07? And 08? A lot of Castiel's decisions in those season were made because of his guilt.

Posting this here because any mention of Destiel in the main sub will get me lynched.

I recently started watching supernatural, and I'm at season 8 episode 17 right now. I knew about Destiel before I started, and have been enjoying how their relationship is developing. I also know that Castiel literally tells Dean "I love you" in season 15. But whenever I'm on the main subreddit or reading anything even remotely related to this ship, it seems like the whole world wants to pretend the relationship isn't there? Like what? Honestly I'm really shocked. I've never been in such a homophobic fandom before, what the hell? Denying it at every turn, saying it's platonic, hating on it, blaming shippers for everything.... Like it's literally canon? And even if it weren't, since when are fandoms against shipping? Like the amount of hate against this ship is genuinely insane. Does this show attract too many insecure straight guys or what's the issue here? Like seriously, even in season 8 no-one can deny how much Castiel means to Dean, and vice versa. If Castiel had been in the vessel of a woman, the show would have made them kiss in the first episode he showed up.

Like learning the cards and the first repeat is fine, but the days after that are so boring I could cry. How do I make this more palatable for me so I keep up with my reviews?

I need something that works like slack for a relatively big organisation that handles sensitive data. So it needs to be secure.

Basically the title. I want something similar to what my university has to share all the pdf files and our schedules.

Basically I want to be able to share information by having it on a sort of page, like a wiki, but also have a place to up- and download files and post a schedule. Is there something like that or will I have to rely on making a website on the internet?