r/aegosexuals

Just trying to understand how the biological side works compared to the attraction side. Thanks!

One of the quickest ways I've found, on how to get men to stop talking to you is by telling them your asexual. Recently a guy asked if I ever get "lonely" ( he said something more explicit) when flirting with me and I said " well not really..no and I'm asexual or celibate, whatever you wanna call it". He asked what it was so I explained and he deadass just walked away from me.

Want to start by saying that if this doesn't belong, I completely understand and will remove it if requested.

Though I lean more towards calling myself fictosexual, I prefer being here to r/fictiosexual. And it's not just because I feel a more disconnect between myself and my fantasies than what I've seen there. People don't really talk about their experiences being ficto, how it relates to their broader sense of asexuality, or anything like that. It's mostly younger people posting their crushes, how they hate "sharing" their character, or talking about how they were "discriminated" against for liking an anime character.

It really felt like a weird echo chamber where if you even implied the characters aren't real people, and therefore neither is the relationship, you'd either get downvoted into oblivion or attacked (usually both). There were times where I explicitly stated that while the character might not be real, your feelings are and I was still met with hostility. I like that I can more freely share my thoughts and opinions on my flavor asexuality here and people are more receptive to it.

TLDR: I can relate to aegos a lot more than fictos, so that's why I stick around.

Im so confused and keep seeing different things, ive identified as Aego for a long time now but people are saying you cant be aego if you have sexual fantasies involving yourself??

My fantasies are always in 3rd person, second person is very uncomfortable but sometimes I imagine myself with a fictional character or OC, and sometimes I imagine just fictional characters/ocs without me, or sometimes I just imagine myself alone??

My self is like a fictional version of myself, nothing too realistic i guess but i still see it as me i guess. Ive never really had an interest in irl sex, sometimes im grossed out by it and sometimes im indifferent but ive never had it and would be perfectly fine living my life never having it. Ive always preferred exploring it in fiction or on my own.

Also I just learned people watch porn because they think the people in it are hot ..?? It took me forever to get comfortable with porn that even showed a face in it. I used to prefer only fictional stuff but its hard to find anything fictional thats not dubious these days.

Anyway If im not Aego is there a better fitting label???

I think I might be Aegosexual, but I'm not sure, so I'd like Aegosexual people to tell me how they knew they were Aegosexual and also how I can have a partner if I'm Aegosexual.

Okay, so I hear people saying that aegosexual involves not self-inserting into fantasies. But I'm not sure if I'm self-inserting or not. I'll imagine two characters, but then I'll still be feeling their emotions as if I were them - just the same way I would if I were watching an action movie and imagining being the protagonist fighting all the battles, or any other movie really. It's still about the fictional character (I never imagine myself as myself) but I'm imagining being the character... So, is that self-inserting or not??

I'm depressed. I've known about my asexuality and aromanticism for a long time, and I'm also aegosexual. Almost every night before bed, I escape reality into my imagination, where I have someone close to me. I don't always focus on sex, more often on the relationship in general. In my imagination, I enjoy being with someone. I enjoy touching each other. The other imaginary person is truly intriguing (in fact, I have two imaginary characters in rotation, the same ones for years).

In reality, I can't look at people with the "I want to find a partner" perspective. When I'm out walking and looking at people, it's a bit like seeing animals. Why would I want to be closer? We aren't the same species. Most people aren't even neutral, but repulsive. Few people are neutrally pretty.

I've tested two dating apps: Tinder and Boo. Tinder makes me even more depressed. Pictures, pictures, pictures, lots of bare chests at the gym (in theory I "prefer" boys, femboys, masc nb), no description. I feel reluctance/aversion/disgust, and even some discomfort at the thought of someone liking me. I found two people on Boo within a 100km radius who were somewhat appealing, but we haven't match. I have no idea how I'd react to them in real life anyway. Sometimes I can't look at my friends much because their faces and bodies are too much of a stimulus at once.

I want to cry. I feel like my software is broken, and I also feel a longing for someone close to me. I don't know what to do. I like solitude, but I'd really like to be hugged by someone I really like.

Just a question, as I am both and I want to know if there is anyone else here who is too. I’ve been thinking myself as aroace since around December, but recently realised these labels fit me so much more. And after years of being unlabelled and trying to figure out my identity, I feel that everything has suddenly just clicked :)

I just recently discovered this term, and i finally have a name for the things i feel and experience. I thought i was "just" asexual(ik it's under the asexual umbrella) for a long time, but this this specific orientation just fits so much better. I'm happy to finally found out about this.

I’m F20. I like yaoi in every form and it always occupies my mind, it’s very comforting to me. If I’m in the mood to masterbait I need to think of women, which confuses me, my parents are homophobic and it wouldn’t be good if they knew. I keep to myself and I’m told I’m very independent, I feel that’s because all my sexual and romantic needs are self contained and I don’t really look for anything outside myself to feel whole. Is there anyone else who has a really non standard sexual orientation? If so how does it affect your life?

Please post all your "Am I aego?" questions here! 💜🩶🖤🤍 Don't forget to read our other pinned posts as well.

If you've been part of the community for a while, please help your fellow aces out n keep an eye on this post and help answer n at~

Sorry. I've decided I don't want to have this conversation in public. Fell free to message me with advice if you did read it. Thanks

So when I interact with nsfw artwork (furry porn, pretty much) it's imagining I am in the body of one or more of the subjects. I don't know if I'm being too broad with the term pansexual (though if pansexual isn't broad enough I don't know what is) but I really don't have much of a preference for the physical form of the subject as long as it's drawn competently.

I'm dancing around the grosser terms since they imply a lot of things I'm not, but I'm down for whatever bipedal, quadrupedal, whatever, in the context that I can imagine myself physically as the character. Like my point is I don't really care as long as the artistic depiction is arousing or interesting in some way. I find human forms limiting and not particularly interesting so having the option to think of myself as something else entirely is attractive and fulfilling to me.

I guess I bring up pansexuality in the broad sense because I'd be way more interested in a distinctly not human alien assuming they could consent and have sapient intelligence however the fuck we measure that. In a sense I am aegosexual because I'm stuck as a human, like there's not much more to it.

Hope this makes sense, I've had "pan/ace" in my bios in the past and people are like "wtf how can you be both???? huh???" I just don't know how to talk about the way I am without people having the wrong idea about me and it's such a pain. Sorry I'm so weird guys.

So I'm F (19) and my boyfriend is M(20) . I am bisexual and my boyfriend knows this. We have been dating for 2.5 years now. The problem is that I don't feel like having sex. I gross out at tongues when kissing , I gross out at genitals and the act of having sex. I stop enjoying any intimate video the minute they show their genitals . I feel disconnected every time my boyfriend and I are having intimate time. Of course my boyfriend has noticed this. He asked many times about this and I was always confused because i thought that the fault was in me. Seeing every other person enjoying sex , being able to orgasm , being able to enjoy the moment made me feel as if I'm not normal. I can't even have an orgasm . Every time my boyfriend tries to have intercourse it just doesn't happen because I'm not turned on. I'm turned off. He absolutely hates the idea of me being asexual . He doesn't know it but during our conversation he did hint very strongly that he's gonna dislike it. I love him and he's really nice i don't want to leave him... I'm so scared to tell him . Every time we are having sex I feel so lost , disconnected , and forced. I can't help it. He does everything for me so it feels like i should at least do this much for him . I can't bring myself to tell him about this. I feel like he'll try to tell me how I can be wrong , i should go to gynac, i am overthinking and blah blah. I don't know what to do. I'm going over to his flat in the next few days and I am super tensed.

UPDATE❗❗

So i texted my boyfriend everything. And i was very nervous, my hands were shaking , my breathing was unstable and I was so scared. But I opened up to him . I didn't tell him everything in long paragraphs, so I asked him first if he would be okay with me being asexual and he said it's fine. I pointed out what he said earlier to me , he apologized. We had a long talk and fortunately he accepted me :)) he's not leaving me and he supports me. I am so happy and relieved right now. Thank you so much guys for helping me out and sharing your advice. I was overthinking too much 😭😭 it went smoothly.

That's kind of the whole post, i love being aegosexual. It's fun! I would pick this over being allo any day