u/ishvicious

Chronic daily smoker all day every day for about 15 years. At the end there I really was totally powerless to the addiction and very depressed being high all the time. it took leaving my home state and going on a 4-day road trip through illegal states to get off the stuff.

But after day 2 no smoking I felt joy return to my life that I hadn’t had in years, and I have had no desire to go back since.

Now that I’m at the two months the main challenge I’m dealing with is …boredom. Just so much time in my hands now that I’m not smoking constantly. But it feels like a good problem to have. I’ve been reading a lot to pass the time, and also getting into DVD collecting with the money I’m saving. I also feel able to leave my house and go do things spontaneously so I try and accept any and all invites my friends send my way and just get out there. I feel like I can actually socialize without anxiety, and without the need for a crutch which is really nice.

Probably the best thing though has been having my dreams back. I was always a really vivid lucid dreamer type since I was a kid and I look forward to going to sleep at night now instead of avoiding it. Because I’m sleeping so deeply I actually wake up kinda groggy in the morning which is a welcome vibe.

If I can do it you can absolutely do it I promise you. There are really good things waiting for you on the other side.

Hey guys,

I just finally got my license!! (US state)

Now I’m moving into starting the business mode, and of course have some questions coming up if anyone here has space to answer.

I am curious if y’all ended up working with a lawyer to create your new patient paperwork or if you just copied paperwork from your school/other practitioners who were willing to share?

& am also curious what people’s current favorite malpractice insurance is.

Thanks in advance! I’ve done some research on these things but appreciate hearing up to date feedback from other practitioners.

I finally had a long-needed falling out with a friend who I’ve known is a narcissist for a long time. I guess I kinda figured if I didn’t get in too close, we could have a friendship and it would be okay.

I met them when I was like 23 when they invited me to “apprentice” with them as a spiritual teacher. We did that for a few years and then became more peers/friends. But now that I’m in my mid-30’s and not engaging in fawning behaviors, I have started giving them more pushback and asking questions about some of the stories they tell me rather than just taking it as truth.

Because of this, things have now fallen apart in a very spectacular and horrific way, including all the classics - triangulating my friends, abusing me via text and accusing me of all sorts of things I didn’t do (including stuff from years ago), lying, manipulating, posting on social media… I am sitting here wondering why I didn’t move away from this friendship sooner esp considering my history of being raised by an abusive vulnerable type narcissist who is quite similar to this person.

In this process I’ve had a few friends take their side as well or remain neutral which has also been so hard. It’s very hard to explain to people “yes this person’s narrative or victimization is very convincing but the reason they are experiencing rejection from people across time is actually because they are abusive.” People just think this person is “going through a hard time” or “mentally unwell right now.”

I don’t really know what I’m asking for here. It’s the middle of the night and I had another friend take their side when I talked to her on the phone tonight and tried to share how I was feeling and so I can’t sleep and I am just really sad that I didn’t pick up on the manipulation I was under for so long.

My body is having trauma type responses. I feel confused and overwhelmed and am even physically sick right now because the stress crashed my immune system. We are still in the midst of the fallout right now. They had come to stay with me for several weeks and ended up leaving my house early because I dared to question them - and now they are in my hometown spreading rumors about me to all kinds of people who they knew when they lived here before.

There’s a particular edge to this which is this person is 1/4 Native American and I am white and so most of the accusations are utilizing identity politics to dehumanize me and explain my actions. This is part of why people are believing their story.

I guess I could use some advice on how to be right now. I’m trying to just stay super neutral, not reach out to people to defend myself from their accusations and hope the truth will just be seen in our mutual conduct. I blocked their number and social media. I just feel mad at myself for not calling some of this stuff out sooner and I don’t know how this happened.

I am and while it can be very hard with BPD I feel like it’s also helped heal some of those core fears there and given me lots of opportunities 😅 to practice my DBT skills

Curious if anyone else is on this boat with me and how it’s been for you

Guys yesterday I was hanging with friends and one of them let me smell this new perfume they got. It was in one of those little essential oils bottles. I asked if I could put a little doot of it on and thinking it had a doot cap on it where you would turn it over and dab it on your skin, I flipped it over and it DUMPED all over my arms and hands.

there was no cap.

I’m hypersensitive to smells and while one doot unit of perfume would have been fine I have been sitting here for 24 hours and I absolutely REEK. I have scrubbed my hands and arms with all kinds of soaps. Tried and exfoliating rag. Two showers. Put a lotion over it to try and mask it. This morning waking up and it’s just as strong.

Because of my chemical sensitivity I have a raging headache and feel like I’m gonna throw up. How can I get this off of me??

Update on solutions tried:
Dawn dish soap - did not work
Masking the scent with menthol - has alleviated my headache for now and is giving me a break from the smell
Slathering arms with vodka and then rinsing (x3) - significantly decreased the smell!!
Rinsed sinuses - waiting to see if this will decrease my nausea but did feel refreshing regardless

Chronic smoker all day every day for the last 15 years. Been really wanting to get sober lately but have been feeling powerless in the face of this addiction. I just went on a 4 day trip to a part of my country where you can’t acquire cannabis and so I haven’t smoked at all in 4 days!

I feel soooo happy. Like, I have felt actual joy like this in a while. The last year or so has been really difficult and I’ve been smoking even more than usual in response and it’s thrown me even further into depression than I’ve ever been.

I’m about to be home from my trip, where my smoker porch has all the tools I need to get high again. I’m gonna throw away my bong as soon as I get back. But I’m a bit nervous.

I’ve tried many times to quit over the years - one time lasting 8 entire months. But nothing ever sticks. Right now though I feel so good and the thought of smoking and going back into that half-here place doesn’t appeal to me at all.

I know when I get home I’m gonna be so tempted to just take one rip and I am reaching out here for some encouragement to keep going

I love this community thank yall so much