Why does it taste metallic to me???? I used to be able to tolerate the metallic but as I get older I dislike it more and more. My mom was nice enough to make chili and gave me some, but it just tastes like cilantro and green bell pepper (something else I dislike more with age.) I feel so bad that I can’t eat it 😭
Literally everything is harder for me than it is for everyone else I know. Especially cleaning and doing chores. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t function like a human. I feel so alone. Everyone thinks I’m so lazy or being a crazy drama queen. I’m so sick of being this way. I haven’t showered in days, I have no clean clothes, I completely failed at mopping the kitchen floor. I scrub and scrub and it’s still dirty and disgusting. I spilled dirty liquid. I mopped it back up and even though I’ve squeezed and squeezed the hell out of it it still tracks the dirty water when I try to mop again. I’m so overstimulated and overwhelmed.
And I have to clean my brother’s old room because he’s coming to visit. It’s 85 degrees and the room has no AC. I just want to move far away and live in a tiny apartment and/or have the money to pay for a cleaner.
I’m 36 and can’t drive and live with my parents. Never had a romantic relationship, not even sure I want one but I’m so alone. I don’t have any friends anymore. I work a very very easy job but bc it’s customer facing it causes me anxiety and I end up burnt out even when I’m not having anxiety I burn out. I have improved so much with Wellbutrin but it’s still so fucking hard. I feel like an alien who doesn’t belong here. No one believes me or understands how hard it is. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live a meaningful life when I feel so misunderstood and struggle doing just the basics.
I just don’t know what to do.
I have really bad anxiety and ADHD, probably autistic as well. I’ve been on SSRI’s for years and they helped with my anxiety a lot. Back in 2024 I started Wellbutrin for my ADHD and it has been life changing, now that I have a source of dopamine and norepinephrine I have been able to become much more productive and less depressed. My task paralysis has improved so much and overall executive functioning.
The issue tho I think it might be causing me anxiety. I tried it a long time ago and stopped bc it increased my anxiety. This time it didn’t seem to bother my anxiety, until a few months ago. I upped my dose in September which was great, but my anxiety seems to have spiked in the last 3-4 months. Idk what to do.
I used to have a PRN of propranolol but it stopped being helpful. I have hydroxyzine but I’m in between prescribers right now. No one has ever tried to put me on benzodiazepines but I lowkey wish I could try them.
I wish I could figure out a happy medium where my executive functioning is improved without the added anxiety. I’m wondering if I should up my SSRI or switch to another one. But I also hate being on them bc of my heat intolerance, which gets worse every summer.
Idk if I’m asking for advice or just venting lol but thanks for reading 😆
1st photo is my scan, 2nd is me recently, 3rd and 4th are from when I weighed 80-100 lbs less in high school. I’m currently in my 30s, and have lost 30 lbs and working towards losing more.
EDIT: In photos 2 and 3 I’m sticking my jaw out to try to compensate.
Went to an oral surgeon to discuss the potential for jaw surgery, possibly for sleep apnea (still waiting to do a sleep study.) I mentioned to him that a large motivator was cosmetic, and he said he didn’t think jaw surgery would really make too much of a difference for me. I have some fat as you can see on the scan, but not all of that soft tissue is fat. For example, I had that extra tissue even when I was 100 lbs less.
Jaw surgery is still a possibility, but he thinks I should look to a cosmetic surgeon and remove the fat and other soft tissue in the area first. He says if I got jaw surgery AFTER that it would probably make a significant difference though. Kinda confusing? But I’m very grateful that he was so honest.
I’ll come back and post after I get any cosmetic work done to let you all know if I end up doing the jaw surgery. If I don’t have sleep apnea I won’t, insurance would unlikely cover that. If I do, I will have to think it over.
If you saw my other posts, that other doctor didn’t have my scans when I saw him, even though I signed stuff saying my orthodontist could send the scans. But without the scans he was more encouraging about getting it done, specifically upper and lower.
I had a consultation with an oral surgeon who also does plastic surgery, since I have been mostly motivated to have this because of my appearance. Is it normal to have this many procedures at once? If I can’t get insurance to cover the jaw surgeries and septoplasty, would I be crazy to pay the 20k out of pocket? I would probably have to take out a loan or do a payment plan or something.
I haven’t signed any of this btw. The surgeon is out of network but in the fall I might be able to switch to an insurance he takes.
I’m diagnosed ADHD and believe I’m also autistic.
Anyone else always painted as a drama queen, too sensitive, etc? I’m on medication and in therapy and trying to become better but it’s hard. It’s also hard bc my rejection sensitivity can be brutal so it’s extra hard on me when friendships end.
The thing that drives me insane though, is that most of the people who reject me in these ways, simultaneously still have many friends who themselves are sensitive or dramatic. Or they’re friends with someone straight up toxic! Like why am I being treated like a piece of shit but you are bff’s with a toxic person???
I understand it’s a flaw and I’m working on it, but why do some ppl act like I’m some awful person? I don’t want to cry over stupid shit, I’m not being malicious or mean. But you’re seemingly fine with actual malicious or mean people.
I’m not a bad person. I understand not everyone will like me, but it still sucks being treated like I’m a bad person bc my emotions are more intense than others.
I had a really bad dependence problem a couple of years ago. I was using edibles after work to relax/help sleep and also vaped a lot and smoked a few times a week. I noticed when I was at work I was getting CRAZY anxxious and overwhelmed. I only ever experienced it when I was not high.
I quit cold turkey for a long time, now I’m an occasional user, mostly just smoking or less often edibles.
After all these years I have realized it was the edibles mostly. Every time I take an edible, I’m irritable or stressed like crazy the next day, no matter what. It’s worse when I do 2 days in a row.
Anyone else ever experience this? Having issues the day after taking an edible?
I can smoke every day for a week and be fine the next day, so idk it’s just so weird to me!
Wouldn’t let me use the real word for anx-ious, I swear I’m not looking for medical advice! lol
I WON’T PICK IT but man it’s so hard not to hahaha
I have TMJ and probably sleep apnea, the surgeon I met with thinks I might be able to get insurance to cover corrective jaw surgery. But I honestly mostly want this for cosmetic reasons. I am also trying to lose weight which would help, but even when I was thin and weighed 80 pounds less than I do now I had this insecurity of my recessed jaw. Lipo is also an option. Just wanted to see what others think, would I be crazy to go through with this??
Edit: I am already working on losing weight! You don’t have to keep telling me. Also, GLP - 1 is useless for me bc I don’t have a big appetite to begin with, I don’t really snack other than the occasional handful of chips. If I do snack it is usually high fiber protein bars.
Edit 2: I got my info back from the doctor I saw for my consult, unfortunately this doctor isn’t in my insurance so I will probably look for another one. If not, out of pocket will probably be 20k which is at least better than I expected.