2 yıllık erkek arkadaşım tatilde beni aldattı. Ne yapmalıyım?

Başlıkta da yazdığım gibi, 30 yaşındaki erkek arkadaşım 4 günlük bir tatil için sadece erkek arkadaşlarıyla Bodruma gitti.

İlk gün bana sürekli mesaj atıyordu, sahilden selfie/video falan atıyordu, flört ediyordu. Her şey normaldi.

Ama ertesi gün bir anda tavrı değişti. Mesajları kısalmaya başladı, çok geç cevap vermeye başladı. Hiç fotoğraf falan atmıyordu. Ben de üstüne gitmedim ama içimde çok kötü bir his vardı. Profiline baktım, kendisi hiçbir şey paylaşmıyordu ama takipçi sayısı sürekli artıyordu.

Bodrumun partileri ve gece hayatıyla, insanların takılmak ve ilişki yaşamak için gittiği bir yer olarak bilindiğini biliyorsunuz. Bir gece sabah 7ye kadar dışarıda kalınca sadece "başka kızlarla falan flört etmiyorsun, di mi?” diye sordum. “Hayır” dedi. O kadar. Cevabı da biraz garip geldi ama güvenmeyi seçtim.

Neyse, bugün dönüyor. Şu an yolda.

Bu sabah bi kız bana DM attı ve Bu çocuğu tanıyor musun? Bu senin erkek arkadaşın mı? diye sordu. Ben de evet deyince bana olanları anlattı.

Meğer erkek arkadaşım o kıza ve arkadaşına yaklaşmış, gece geç saatlere kadar onlarla takılmış. Kendini de tamamen bekâr gibi tanıtmış. Kızı sürekli otel odasına çağırmış, birlikte olmak istemiş ama kız her seferinde reddetmiş. Hatta bu sabah gitmeden önce bile kızı aramış.

Şu an gerçekten midem bulanıyor.

Ve en kötü kısmı şu: Bana şu an hiçbir şey olmamış gibi normal normal mesaj atıyor, yine flört ediyor. Ben de burada ne olduğunu öğrenmiş halde oturuyorum.

Bence bu kesinlikle aldatmaya çalışmak sayılır. Bir şey yaşanmamasının tek sebebi kızın onu reddetmiş olması. Kendi isteğiyle geri durmadı yani.

Şimdi ne yapacamı bilmiyorum. Mesajla mı yüzleşmeliyim? Eve geldiğinde yüz yüze mi konuşmalıyım? Hiçbir şey olmamış gibi mi davranmalıyım? Ghostlamak mı? Gerçekten kafam çok karışık.

Ne yapardınız?

reddit.com
u/joblessjelly — 1 day ago

Bf of 2 years cheated on me while on a boys trip. I cant stop crying and idk what to do.

As the title said, my boyfriend [30M] went on a boys trip to another city for a short vacation (4 days). The first day he was there he was texting me. Sending me selfies and videos from the beach. Flirting. All was normal. Everything changed the next day. His texts started getting shorter and more delayed. No updates. No photos. I didn't push at all. But myself stomach felt so sick and i had a feeling something was wrong. I looked at his profile and he wasnt posting anything either. But his follower count kept going up. I was super uneasy. The city he was in was known for parties and hookups. So when he stayed up till 7 am one day, i just asked him hey youre not flirting with any girls right? And he said no. Didn't really say anything else. I found that weird but i chose to trust him.

Well. He comes back today. Is on the way rn. And this morning a girl messages me asking if hes my bf. Told me how he approached her and her friend. And stayed out with them until late. The worst part? He presented as completely single. Kept calling the girl to his hotel room to hook up and she kept saying no. He even called her before he left this morning. Im genuinely sick to my stomach. He's now texting me all normal again , flirting etc. But i consider this cheating even if nothing happened. It only didnt happen cuz he got rejected.

Now idk what to do. Should i confront him over text? Wait until we meet? Should i act normal? Should i ghost? I dont know. Please help me . i feel like my heart is being ripped out my chest. I love him so much.

reddit.com
u/joblessjelly — 1 day ago
▲ 72 r/Advice

Bf of 2 years cheated on me on a boys trip. What should i do

As the title said, my (25F) boyfriend [30M] went on a boys trip to another city for a short vacation (4 days). The first day he was there he was texting me. Sending me selfies and videos from the beach. Flirting. All was normal. Everything changed the next day. His texts started getting shorter and more delayed. No updates. No photos. I didn't push at all. But myself stomach felt so sick and i had a feeling something was wrong. I looked at his profile and he wasnt posting anything either. But his follower count kept going up. I was super uneasy. The city he was in was known for parties and hookups. So when he stayes up till 7 am one day, i just asked him hey youre not flirting with any girls right? And he said no. Didn't really say anything else. I found that weird but i chose to trust him.

Well. He comes back today. Is on the way rn. And this morning a girl messages me asking if hes my bf. Told me how he approached her and her friend. And stayed out with them until late. The worst part? He presented as completely single. Kept calling the girl to his hotel room to hook up and she kept saying no. He even called her before he left this morning. Im genuinely sick to my stomach. He's now texting me all normal again , flirting etc. But i consider this cheating even if nothing happened. It only didnt happen cuz he got rejected.

Now idk what to do. Should i confront him over text? Wait until we meet? Should i act normal? Should i ghost? I dont know. Please help me

reddit.com
u/joblessjelly — 1 day ago

Bf [30M] of 2 years cheated on me [25F] on a boys trip. What should i do

As the title said, my boyfriend [30M] went on a boys trip to another city for a short vacation (4 days). The first day he was there he was texting me. Sending me selfies and videos from the beach. Flirting. All was normal. Everything changed the next day. His texts started getting shorter and more delayed. No updates. No photos. I didn't push at all. But myself stomach felt so sick and i had a feeling something was wrong. I looked at his profile and he wasnt posting anything either. But his follower count kept going up. I was super uneasy. The city he was in was known for parties and hookups. So when he stayes up till 7 am one day, i just asked him hey youre not flirting with any girls right? And he said no. Didn't really say anything else. I found that weird but i chose to trust him.

Well. He comes back today. Is on the way rn. And this morning a girl messages me asking if hes my bf. Told me how he approached her and her friend. And stayed out with them until late. The worst part? He presented as completely single. Kept calling the girl to his hotel room to hook up and she kept saying no. He even called her before he left this morning. Im genuinely sick to my stomach. He's now texting me all normal again , flirting etc. But i consider this cheating even if nothing happened. It only didnt happen cuz he got rejected.

Now idk what to do. Should i confront him over text? Wait until we meet? Should i act normal? Should i ghost? I dont know. Please help me

TLDR: bf cheated on me on trip and idk how to confront him

reddit.com
u/joblessjelly — 1 day ago

He said he cant promise not to flirt with others. What does that mean?

My situationship of a few months and i have gotten closer over the past month and said the big L word. Naturally i asked him the most important question, do you want this to be exclusive. He said yes, Ofcourse. That he loves me etc. Even when a guy flirts with me he gets really protective and tells me to always reply to men that i have someone already. So far all good.

Well. I got in my head a bit and thought to myself does he mean exclusive as in we only sleep with each other or emotionally as well ( no flirting etc ). I asked him this. Im big on being honest and communicating. And he said verbatim " yes we are exclusive. Physically for sure. But flirting? Id rather if its not done. But i cant promise you i wont flirt "

Like wtf does that even mean? I kinda exploded a bit. I asked him what he means. And why cant he promise that. And why is what we have not enough and if this means hes keeping his options open. Then i realised how hypocritical it is of him to always get protective and tell me not to let other guys flirt with me but now suddenly " he cant promise"?. He hasn't replied. Its been one day. I can tell hes active but leaving me on delivered. Maybe i overreacted but dude u cant just say that and leave? Id like any and all input please. And if anyone thinks im wrong please tell me why. And also if any of you understand what he means by " i cant promise i wont" , please enlighten me. Thank you

For context im 24F and hes 30M.

reddit.com
u/joblessjelly — 8 days ago
▲ 0 r/Rants

i [24F] dont know what to do about this guy [30M] im in love with. Please advice.

I'm so confused right now and need outside perspective.

I've been involved with a guy (30M) for about 2 years. It's complicated—on and off, never officially together, But exclusive and in love with each other. Recently, through a weird coincidence, I ended up talking to a girl he follows on Instagram. Let's call her "A".

When I first spoke to her, we were getting to know each other. She was nice. But before I even mentioned the guy's name or realised they know each other, she told me she's never been to the country i live in. She doesn't live here. She's never even visited.

Later in the conversation, I mentioned the guy I'm involved with. let's call him J. She knew him. Her tone changed completely. I asked her how they know each other, she Wouldn't answer. She said he's a "rare good guy," that I shouldn't let him go, and that I should get back with him. I asked her how do u know what sort of guy he is. She said feom his posts and stories. Basically implying they never spoke. IThen she abruptly removed him from her Instagram and i told her she didnt have to why is she doing that, she said she can tell i like him and she wont do that to another girl. Then said "don't overthink it girly" before ending the conversation.

Here's where it gets confusing.

I asked J immediately how he knows her. He said: "We went on a few dates last year. Maybe 5 times." Which kinda stung cuz that meant it was during the time we knew each other. But he also had told me he hasn't been on a date in more than a year. So he mustve lied.

So either:

  1. She lied to me about never being in my country (before she even knew I was connected to J).

  2. My guy is lying about how well he knows her and that they dated

I can't figure out who's lying or why. If they dated that many times, why would she lie about something so basic before I even mentioned him? And if she actually liked him, why would she remove him so quickly when she found out about me?

TL;DR: A girl I spoke to said she's never been to My country. The guy I'm involved with says they dated 5 times. One of them is lying, and I can't figure out who or why.

reddit.com
u/joblessjelly — 2 months ago

i [24F] dont know what to do about this guy [30M] im in love with. Please advice.

I'm so confused right now and need outside perspective.

I've been involved with a guy (30M) for about 2 years. It's complicated—on and off, never officially together, But exclusive and in love with each other. Recently, through a weird coincidence, I ended up talking to a girl he follows on Instagram. Let's call her "A".

When I first spoke to her, we were getting to know each other. She was nice. But before I even mentioned the guy's name or realised they know each other, she told me she's never been to the country i live in. She doesn't live here. She's never even visited.

Later in the conversation, I mentioned the guy I'm involved with. let's call him J. She knew him. Her tone changed completely. I asked her how they know each other, she Wouldn't answer. She said he's a "rare good guy," that I shouldn't let him go, and that I should get back with him. I asked her how do u know what sort of guy he is. She said feom his posts and stories. Basically implying they never spoke. IThen she abruptly removed him from her Instagram and i told her she didnt have to why is she doing that, she said she can tell i like him and she wont do that to another girl. Then said "don't overthink it girly" before ending the conversation.

Here's where it gets confusing.

I asked J immediately how he knows her. He said: "We went on a few dates last year. Maybe 5 times." Which kinda stung cuz that meant it was during the time we knew each other. But he also had told me he hasn't been on a date in more than a year. So he mustve lied.

So either:

  1. She lied to me about never being in my country (before she even knew I was connected to J).

  2. My guy is lying about how well he knows her and that they dated

I can't figure out who's lying or why. If they dated that many times, why would she lie about something so basic before I even mentioned him? And if she actually liked him, why would she remove him so quickly when she found out about me?

TL;DR: A girl I spoke to said she's never been to My country. The guy I'm involved with says they dated 5 times. One of them is lying, and I can't figure out who or why.

reddit.com
u/joblessjelly — 2 months ago